11 April Monday Diary

at work:
Snacking:   apple, carrots,   g-f pretzels.
Watched  The Newsroom  3: 4, 5, 6  then 1:1
Quiet as a cemetery.
My associate got locked into a reservation call that took about 30 minutes,  so God bless 'im for being here to take the call.

6:26 Out
6:27 in car
7:07 Home.
Fed a cat.
Cleaning up the kitchen after Donna knocked over the trash can.
Fed Donna.
Put my laundry away.... (that Merry had put in the wash and Stitch in the dryer in the preceding days)...
MDM   meatloaf, made last night... rice,  p- and t-chips, banana.
Watched "The Circus...
8:15 sleep.
15:00 up ... pee...    chocolate squares and milk.
Back to bed....
17:45 up...
Pill...alka/s ...  showered...dressed.... toilet...
Merry drove ... without Stitch as a ridealong, because She wanted to 'talk' to just me. 
We had a good talk.
She suggested a way to get around the problems I've been having in going along with certain activities that both have us have enjoyed together, at least until recently, when my head starting saying 'no' to it. We shall see.
18:35 in car.
  Stopped for gas
19:22 at work, 19:24 in.
My usually associate, KW was out...will be out... a few days,   due to a tragic death in his family.
SupervisorDB worked in his place.
Really quiet at work.  
We talked quite a bit, as our paths don't cross very often.
Meanwhile, his wife was at LBMem'l ER because she had gone to pick up her mother to take her to some appointment, and just ... collapsed.  
So DB was frequently in communications with people there (his brother, his daughter,  etc...) until he left at 23:30.

10 April, Sunday, Diary

at work:
Merry called to say 'good night' during a break in the action around 01:30.
Then 'it' started up again  01:45...then calmed down again..... long enough for me to catch up on diary entries.
And, watched The NewsRoom  3:2, 3:3
06:00 Out
06:05 in car
06:34 home
Fed the cats...
MDM:   Beef stew (out of a can), a bag of pork rinds, followed by choc chip cookies, while reading the Sunday paper.
7:45 in bed
11:00 awakened by noise that Bullfrog had decided to come over and make in the back yard.  
Trying to go back to sleep,   fitfully
17:45  up  
Alka/s  'pill'  Toilet...
Showered  dressed
Sunshine asked if I could manage to drive myself...  (yes)
Packed n ready and out
18:36 in car
19:18 at work   
19:22 'in'
Really quiet at work  finishing with 92 for today and starting with 98 for tomorrow..
Was going through tomorrow's notes when I looked up at 20:30, and realized I had two rides for 2130 or so, tagged on drivers that had zero chance of getting to them.
A bit of a scramble working my partner ensued...
Got em covered...took a breath....
Whew!



"Why don't you drop by?"

10 April Morning musings

During quiet time at work...

I browse spanking-tube and xHamster and tumbr.
I look at all manner of depictions of F/m spanking.
I find myself ...just wishing.
It reminds me of my life a few years ago...before I met Merry ...  when all I could do was wish.
Ever since my accident, last late October, and her accident two weeks later... we've gotten away, far away, from Funishments.
We've engaged in a few.... very minor....very quick 'sessions', but nothing to get aroused about.
I know I've been cranky and snappy to Her.  
I've told Her, "...we just can't seem to communicate..."
But maybe ...  it's a question of just what I'm trying to communicate.
Is it really, the shopping list ... or the bill list, that I'm talking about ... or is it, what's going on, deep inside?

I feel like ... that I've mentally, emotionally, retreated to the place I was oh 3 1/2 or 4 years ago, when I simply would or could not admit to another person that I enjoy the idea, the process, the procedure, of having my bare bottom spanked.
Once I decided, oh fukkit, and admitted it, the flood gates opened, and I found myself getting spanked by strangers on first meetings.  

Now, I'm finding myself  ashamed to admit to my own wife that ... I want Her to spank me.   
Even though that whole scene was how our relationship started.
She offers, I decline ...many more times than I've accepted.
We tentatively plan to go to some dungeon-party or other, then the day of, find some reason to not go.

I really don't know what the heck is wrong with me.

09 April Saturday Diary

00:30 up to pee, and wide awake....
 Watched   'Frankenhooker'
  Watched  "Knuckleball"
 Watched The Newsroom 2:9 and 3:1
05:45 going to sleep.

11:00 wakened by Merry, asking the whereabouts of my black tie..... as she and Stitch were getting ready for the funeral of Stitch's ex-wife's mother.

Back to sleep, fitfully

17:30 UP   toilet...showered  dressed.
Sunshine asked if I could drive myself, as she was feeling poorly...   sure I could
'pill'   alka/s,  packed    kissed her goodbye
Car 18:31
Stopped for e cig filters,  7-11 on SMB
office 19:13
in 19;15

in time for the MTV Movie awards.

Errgh.

08 April, Friday Diary

00:30  up  pee   n  chocolate
02:24  up    pee
06:00  up  pee      peanut butter n chocolate
09:30 awake...coffee...fed cats...  in bed playing phone games....
  Up    consulting with Merry on bills etc...
  resulting in the first of many misunderstandings throughout the day.
  Dressed, both of us
14:30 in car   to
  Walmart  
   Winco
   99C
 Dollar tree
 Chase
 WF and Vons
 17:15 home,  groceries in and away

In BR, watched The Newsroom  2:8
Nap ...1830 to 1945
Dinner ...   baked chicken from Vons, and baked french fries
Watched TRMS
2100  sleep.





How many times has this happened to me.....

07 April, THursday, Diary

UP 00:30  pee and snack
Up 01:30 pee and snack
UP 08:00 fed animals.
 Unlocked back gate...
Put some mail OUT
Newspaper in
Made coffee
INto the bedroom..
watching TV
DAMIEN  eps 1:1, 2, on DVR then 3 and 4 on a table, then # 5 on DVR.
Ate an apple

Watched movie  Trainwreck
Watched TRMS for today...and fell asleep
Nap  19:30 to 2115
Dinner... 4 open faced muffin n ham sandwiches with t chips...
Watched TBBT
2200 Sleep

Finale: #13 of 13

06 April, Wednesday Diary

at work:
 Watched The Newsroom 1:10, then  2:1, 2, 3.
6:25 out
6:26 walking to HH station
6:34 on platform
6:37 on board, and rolling
6:53 off at 7th st
6:55 on board the Blue 
6:57 Rolling out
7:31  arrived DA
  called Lyft for a ride home
7:55 home
Fed animals...
MDM  pot roast, t-chips, ice cream
and watched TRMS from last night.
and WIDE awake. Eyes would not stay closed.
Moved to the living room...
back to the bedroom... 
THen the living room
Watched TNR 2:6, 2:7 
Read a NYT and WSJ ...until 13:00
Back into BR1 where it was 85 degrees
Tried BR2,  but the bed seemed too hard.
In living room chair, napping...
17:45 up  took pill
moved to BR1      watched TRMS
And Comic Book Men
Ate dinner at the table.... gluten-free pizza, and a banana...
In BR1, watched the two eps of Criminal Minds Beyond Borders...and managed to go to sleep  2300.



#12 of 13

Merry's only excuse is  "just because..."