8.06 Journal

I have been ... a dick lately, vis a vis my interactions with Merry.

Actions characterized by
  Loss of libido, anxiety, hostility, depression, erectile dysfunction, headaches....

In conversation with Her, I've blamed it on ...my feelings about living with so many other people, after years of living alone...  and my feelings about our current financial affairs.

Next thing would be to look up the symptoms related to having prolactin rather active in one's body.

And when does prolactin become active in a man's body.

After orgasm.

Ahem.

During the Kinky Camp Out, She said,  She wanted me to ... cut down (stop) masturbating (so much), so that maybe, I'd be able to cum during intercourse.
I suggested, having my penis locked up would facilitate that sort of thing.
We agreed, and after we got home, I 'locked it up'  and spent just about a week wearing it, from that Sunday afternoon, until the wee hours of the following Sunday morning,  when She had me unlock and remove it, we had sex (I despise that pairing of words; it's so bland, but I've been at a loss to come up with a better way of getting the idea across) and I came during the intercourse.

Since that time  which was  July 13, Her birthday, no less....
 Up to now ...   23 days....
 We have done the deed seven times, during which time I did not "cum" and I have masturbated eleven times,  during which I did. 
Thus, I mentioned the prolactin coursing through my veins.
If it actually does travel through the blood stream: I have not a clue about that.

Summary:
 I have been masturbating, frequently.
 I am aware that it is written in the MHA that I am 'supposed' to ask for permission before doing so.
 I am aware of my emotional state that has been one of  Fuck that, I'm doing doing what I wanna do.
 Example:
  Tuesday morning, She said She was invoking Merry Two, for an immediate over-Her-lap spanking for an attitude adjustment (not that any reason is needed for Merry Two, but She gave the reason, anyway).
 She got on the bed, and told me to get over Her lap.
 I do not know if She noticed my hesitation, but doubt was flashing through my mind, and I was this ( ..) close to saying... very quietly... "No."
 So, hostility has been present within me for quite some time.
 And not just pointed at Her, but also at our other housemates... and co-workers.....

Refraining from masturbating could only be good for me.

There's a simple way to do it.
But I will not simply do that, by myself.