12.22 Diary

Awake around 0815, with her as S, at my door.
Was I still mad at her?
 Yes.
I got up, fed my cats,  took a quick shower...which filled the stopped up tub....put in some drain cleaner, started getting dressed....
R came in, carrying a message from her:   "S wants to know if you're taking her with you?"
"Sure."
He delivered the message.  I heard the water starting in the shower, and ran into the bathroom.
"Don't use the shower, that's very strong drain cleaner in that standing water."
"I can't go like this, I'm dirty, my hair is greasy..."  She started crying and went to her bedroom.
I continued getting dressed, and made my way out.
Off I went..... arrived, went inside, and Rev A was the first to greet me with a hug.
We talked, I went inside.
Service was good, with Rev A giving the lesson, for Her last time, as She is leaving this Center as of 12/31.

Afterwards, I went to the market across the streets, for paper towels, and more drain cleaner....
then I stopped for gas and coffee, and headed home.

And I had time to sort out a few things.....
My  anger...or whatever the emotion I was carrying....was based on  what, exactly?
If anything, on expectations I had of Her.
Wrong expectations, really.  
I sort of realized that yesterday was going to be traumatic, being a one year anniversary for Her.
And She had this .... thing to deal with, not a thing that comes up often, infrequently would be the most often it occurs....    and all the time, She was trying to cope with.... the anniversary.
I should have had no expectations, and simply let Her  do what She needed to do, to cope and handle, and get through the day.
SO, I released expectations, I forgave Her,  I let go.  My anger and everything else dissipated, and...
I arrived home.
She was napping.... I took care of getting   the trash out.... checking the shower drain, still clogged,
then I lay down on my bed,  listening to music with ear buds in.
After a while, She was at my door.
"May I join you?"
"Of course!"
She came in, and we chatted for quite some time.
And I set up my laptops, trying to 'fix them' as up to that point, both of them were getting crappy internet connections, to the point of being unusable.
In the process, we discovered that S had .... been in conversation with guy on sp-o, going so far as to set up a meet between him and Her; and she had logged in as me on sp-o, and answered a private message, and had commented on a few things on fet, in Her place.
Busy little girl....

Meanwhile, I logged in as Her on sp-o, and amused myself, chasing off all the guys that were sending PMs to Her.

Then it was time for me to get up and dress and get moving......
In the car 1815 or so,  at work    19 20 or so.

 A very quiet night so far (composing this at 2200) but I'm hesitant to say too much.....

Well, nothing happened, work wise.
She came into chat at some point....
She started making fun of me, saying I should take lessons from 'obedienthusband' for not being such a smart ass....so I left.the chat room.

 Hrs S l o  199 1/2
Hr s L S  99
Hr s L B  62
Hr locked up  86