I fed the cats and the dogs and filled and started the dishwasher.
In the bedroom, I was looking for something that would work as a 'stand' for my cell phone...
She woke up, and started talking to me....
And told me,
"..after your shower, whenever it is, I want you to put on a device..."
After a long hesitation, enough so that She asked, "You have something to say...?"
And I said, "Why..?"
"Because... I like chastity, you like chastity, you have not been wanting to have sex...so it seemed like a good time.."
After a minute, or two, I said something like,"Okay ... maybe I will..."
I had a chat with myself on the way to work, and came to some understanding of my reaction, which I'll get into at the end of this..
So, I went and prepped my Daily Meal, and came back into the bedroom...and started looking at what was on the DVR, thinking I'd watch something.
But something was missing.... for reasons unclear, Scorpion had not recorded, though I did see that it was a new episode.
All that took so much time, that there was no sense in trying to watch something else.
Done with breakfast, to sleep 1015.
At some point She was up and out and off to meet with a friend.
Woke up 1400ish, to pee and have a snack (cookies) and saw a text from DB, saying "Hey, TH is MIA (no show) ..can you come in at 1830..?"
I responded, "No, I don't think I can be up and moving in time."
Alarm went off 1730, I sat up and sent Merry a text, saying "I'm up."
She replied that She had tried to call Stitch several times.
I went into the living room, found his phone...four missed calls from Merry within 20 minutes: he had the ringer all the way down.
SO, toilet... shower... fit a chastity device on... dressed in sox and briefs... in the bedroom, took a selfie, showing the number on the plastic lock, and sent it to Her in a text... and dressed, made coffee...as She came walking in the door .... chewing bubble gum!? Oh, it was Sunshine, who said that Bree had bought for her, Hello Kitty bubble gum.
I kissed her, hello and goodbye and headed on out the door.
In car 1835...
At work 1930, and straight to the toilet.
I thought I was feeling constipated, but I was cured, for sure.
So TH, the guy with whom I had been discussing Lyft, was indeed MIA... no show to work and no call, and DB was there.
On my shift, TH finally checking in with DB by text, apologetically saying, he just screwed up.
I still don't understand how... he can NOT call for 7 hours after his scheduled start time, but I think DB told him, this was the one and only time he would allow this to happen.
DB cut out, around 2100--2130, as he was coming back for his regular shift at 0900.
Tuesday 111 rides, 38 farmed out
Wednesday 152 so far! 24 farmed out, so far! Oy.
So, what was going through my head, this morning, when She said, "I want you to lock it up..." ?
I was tired ..hungry... and caught by surprise. I'm usually not very good in handling spontaneous... anythings.
Some warning would perhaps assuage my hurt butt?
By 'some warning', I mean ... a couple days or more.
Such as: On a Wed or Thurs or Fri, if She were to announce, "On Sunday, I want you locked up before you go to work."
I think that would work well for me.
Doesn't have to start on a Sunday, that just works as it leads into my 'work week'.
Another example: On a Tuesday morning, She could announce, "Thursday, at noon, I want you locked up."
The exact days don't matter, those were examples to say: gimme two days notice, more or less. Exactly 48 hours not so important, as one full day in between. IE, call me at work Monday night (or send a text), stating: "When you get home Wednesday.." or "When you go to bed Wednesday night..."
No need to announce a duration time. I suspect we'll both know when we're ready to get it off, then get it on.
Of note on this pink one: no security. None. It's too flexible, and allows easy pullout from the back, by lifting it up. It only works symbolically by me knowing, I'm wearing this because She wants me to wear it, that I am chaste because She wants me to be chaste.
So, note to Her and me: remove this one, try the other one.
H s l S 582
H s l O 735
H s L F/me 583
H s L F/her 95
Her DO and hours since: No, 94 hrs
Day UN 120 d, 18 h; L 6 h
Day s l C 118
I understand your desire for more notice, but I feel you'd have to be blind to not notice my discontent (unhappiness? sad frustration?) at the lack of sexual attention due to your current condition. This isn't an angry thing, and, frankly, my heart can't handle the feelings. It's not like we haven't talked about my concern and sadness, and it was one of the reasons I made a point to get a new device.
ReplyDeleteThis now puts me in a (mental) position that I can't have sex with you because you're locked up. In my mind, instead of feeling deprived and sad, I can maybe shift my thought process to something like: "I have him locked, and we can't have sex until he's begging me for it, or he gets me to the point I can't take it anymore." Then I can just imagine how good it's going to feel, and how much we'll both enjoy it.
I need to feel wanted and desired sexually by you, and this at least will give me that illusion, and maybe the underlying depression and feelings of worthlessness I'm having will go away.. I hope this doesn't anger you or cause you to feel upset, because I'm not angry, I'm just trying to resolve my sadness by making believe I have some control over a situation we clearly have no control over,
I Love you so very much, and I miss you. That's probably the most important sentiment I can express right now. Here's to both of us feeling better...
Wow! We are so obviously talking about two completely different things.
DeleteI did not ask you, your motivation.
I only explained what I was feeling, at the time, that I don't like surprises.
But it's all tied up in that
ReplyDelete