4.07 Diary

The other dispatcher signed off at 0030.
At 0031, I get a call from an agent, wanting to change a car in ITALY from  1700, to Noon....  so 2 1/2 hours from now...and  would NOT SHUT UP for 10 minutes, even though she knew I needed to make the call to Italy to see if they can accommodate the change.  Jeez.
Anyway, they could.   Now, it's 1320 there, and I am only HOPING that all went well with it.

She let me know by text that She was in the chat room..around 0130...  and I joined Her.
We talked about stressors...during which, She had a panic attack...  then calmed down from it....
She signed off, to get some sleep, around 0245...but, before doing so,  She told to "bring in 3 implements, at least one cane, one paddle..."
Well... it's been over 7 1/2 days since my bare bottom has seen any kind of impact action....
And I'm really mixed up amongst feeling:  1. anticipation/good   2. anticipation/bad  3. worried  4. out'n'out SCARED
  because sometimes, Her enthusiasm ...especially after a long dry spell ... is difficult for me to handle.
She won't see this until it's LONG over.   It shall be....  well... interesting.

Off work, and in my car 0640...   and home  720.
And I fed the animals, and scooped a litter box,  and refilled the dogs' BIG water dish....
I bumped into Her in the bathroom.  She said that Donna unplugged Her cpap, so She hadn't been sleeping well, and wanted to go back to sleep until I came in.
Then I gathered implements:  the 18" Delrin cane, the medium church paddle, the heavy wooden spoon...
And I undressed..and went to the bathroom...
And took a long shower, using two razors to give my body a fairly thorough shave....
Then dried and dressed,  and in Her bedroom, presenting myself, naked but for white socks, at Her bedside.
She said, 'Get in.'
I did....and we dozed for about an hour.
Kind of awake, we tried to talk, and as I had real trouble hearing Her, She explained She had woken up with congestion, and some kind of laryngitis.
So.... we ate, and I read the newpaper....
And went to bed, in my room, alone, around 10:45.
I woke up around 3,  in a bit of sweat.
I went into the kitchen, poured a glass of water to go with some pop tarts...
Then went to Her room, which was much cooler.
She was seated at Her computer.... and told me to go ahead and sleep in Her bed.
And I did....   waking up around 5, then 515, and was up, 525.
Toilet...
Then a short shower..
Toilet again...
And dressed.
In Her room, I said, "Here I am, dressed, with a little extra time."
"Good for you," She said.
Well, so much for hints....I started to walk away, then She said, "OH! Wait...I don't know where anything is....oh, yes I do..."  and She went to Her bedside nightstand, and pulled out Her leather belt.
"Take 'em down, and bend over the bed."
I took down my grey Starter tights,  leaving my sheer mesh black/white Good Devil jockbriefs in place, as they did not cover or protect anything....
On my left side, She applied twenty of the belt to my cheeks, then moved to my right side, to apply another twenty.
Something like this...not really, not much like this, as She is much better looking...but kinda like this.

KINDA sorta like this....

With a minor sting in my tail,  I pack up, and left...
In car 1830  and in EZ traffic, was at the office 1920.

The woman I've been helping with/kind of training  for next day's set up was out sick, and my manager was filling in for her so I was not occupied by that.

An easy night...up to midnight....

I wonder if ANYbody has seen my blog "Dominant Wicves / submissive husbands".
I've seen almost no 'views' on it.

Epiphany:
...I had this revelation, and I really need to talk it out, sometime.
I sort of realized...   while I am submissive, I would rather follow than lead, I would rather serve than be waited on...  
 I do NOT like taking ORDERS.
I do well with 'requests' or softer versions.
For example:
  Tell me "TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES"  ...  and while I may go ahead and do that,  what's going through my mind is the option of simply giving you a hard look, turning around, and walking away.
 But, instead, say "I think it would be a good idea for you to take off your clothes..."
   or  "I would like for you to get naked now...'
And I'm 99% likely to HAPPILY comply.

So...I will act like a slave, but I just  really don't like being ordered around like a slave.  

HsLS  130
HsLO  326
HsLD   6
D UN  104
DsLC  13 2/3


SMT for the day:
  There is One Power, One Source, that Source is God.
  God is the Source of prosperity,  fiscal wisdom, financial freedom, and wealth.  I am one with The Source.
  I embody prosperity in all its forms.

from My Manifesto
  I understand that She may assess severe punishment for any reason She desires.

You want this t-shirt, Darling? 

Simple, basic, and to my eyes, Very Sexy

4.06 Diary

Up around 0600, to go to the toilet, and have a snack.
Back to bed, and awake... 10ish...  too late for Service, again.
She made orange gookies...I made the first of several trips to the toilet, then  ate a couple, while reading the paper, and taking pills.
Then I just sat a few minutes, trying to figure out how I 'felt'..   went to the toilet...again...
While She worked on an online shopping list....
She had Her own toiletary issues to deal with, so I dressed and went to the supermarket by myself.
.... Something I would should have done the day before, and wished could be done some other day, but we were flat out of wet cat food, and paper towels...and other stuff might as well be acquired.
It was 1235 when I left, and 1340 when I got back... which is the time I shoulda been leaving for work.
Got the groceries in and away...   undressed...went to the toilet ... again ...  showered, dressed......
Little S came into the living room, where I was almost ready, and I pulled down my pants, showing her my bare bottom, and said, 'Now or never...'
She smacked my bottom, oh, ten times on each cheek with her hand.
Whoop de doo.  
I was in my car 1415, heading for work.

I usually take the 710  to the 10 to the 101.
Somehow, I wound up on the 5.
In all the typical very-slow-going-5 traffic.... oh well.
Then onto the 101..which was a little-but-not-much better.
Off at Snet.
Tooling along, thinking about work, thinking about what I needed to put on the calendar, what we needed to get done..
Stopped at a light, saw it change to green...
Took my foot off the brake, and .. bumped into the car that I somehow did NOT see, directly in front of me.
Crap.
He said..."Gonna need a whole new bumper. Usually run $550, I'll take 250 cash, right now."
"Um, no thanks..."
I gave him my insurance info, and took a few pix of all this 'damage'. Ha.

On to work, in a really crappy mood,  arriving 1520 or so.
Clocked in, started 'working',
And She called me around 1540 wondering what happened to me (as I am supposed to text Her when I arrive at work...)
I explained as best I could...and got to work....

The dispatcher that comes on to run lead while I do set up on Sundays...
Listening to him dispatch and talk to chauffeurs is  ...   horrible.
I TRY to tune him out, and TRY to concentrate on tomorrow's workscreen, and not look at today's, the one he is working on..  but OMG.


HsLS  106
HsLO   302
HsLD  179 1/2
Day UN  103
DsLC  12 2/3

SMT for the day
 I am guided by the wisdom of God in everything I think, say, and do.  I am never without guidance in the successful achievement of my good desires.

from My Manifest:
  I will maintain normal eye contact with Her, at all times possible. 

4.05 Diary

Awake...11ish.
I ate somethin', I read the newspaper, I took my pills....and I went back to bed with an intense stomach ache, and napped until oh  1600.
I got up,  drank Alka Seltzer, popped a couple Tums...and started redoing my daily notebook, for like the 15th time this month.
She sent me a text... from Her bedroom, saying ...there's a Dexter mini-marathon on some SHO channel.
Seemed like a fine idea to me, and She came in and joined me, and we watched three episodes from the middle of season 5.
Then I figured out, that we could watch any or all that we wanted via On Demand...
And I asked, if She was up for watching the next/final four episodes in this season, and She said, "Sure.."
 After we got up and got dinner together.

We returned to the bedroom with dinner on tv trays... and continued watching Dex.

And watched the four episodes to the end of the season,  and started channel surfing for something else, in spite of it being like  02:30.

I went to sleep.

HsLS  82
HsLO  278
HsLD  155 1/2
D UN  102
DsLC  11 2/3

SMT for the day
I release and I let go.  Let the Spirit run my life.  My heart is open way.  I am only here for God.
No more trouble, no more strife.  With my faith, I see the light. I am free in the Spirit. I am only here for God.

from My Manifesto:
  I will always speak of Her in terms of love and respect.

4.04 Diary

Awake around 0830....and She told me about the meeting we had to go to, to meet a new guy She met online... at 1030.
The worst of the migraine was over, and I was left with a residual headache.
I got up and heated coffee, gathered Her meds and cereal in a bowl, put it all..along with mine...on a tray, and served Her coffee in bed.
Then I feed the animals.... and we showered and dressed and got in my car...and went off to a coffee shop to meet this guy.
The guy was (is) nice enough, I guess.
Honestly, I just never got a feel for what he was looking for, in agreeing to this meeting, or what She was looking for, either.
Then we went on down to W's house, and spent 90 minutes, maybe two hours there, while She soaked the garden, and brought in the mail, and we talked about this and that.
Then off to a late lunch/early dinner at a Pie Place, only because She found a coupon in the mail for some kinda fish n chips special.
And we endured the worst service I've had at any restaurant in a very long time.
She ordered a sandwich with JUST meat and bread.  It arrived with everydamnthing on it.   She had to ask at least twice for the soda She ordered.   In the time we were there, I got one refill on my cup of coffee.
I did not tip.... sidetracked.  I meant to leave one single dollar, to make a point, but forgot to leave that.  I went to the cashier and filled out a 'comment' card.
We left, and went on to a pharmacy for waiting prescriptions,  then to the market for bread for tonight's dinner.
Home, a bit before 5.
I gathered up the animal dishes, in prep to their evening feeding.
I scooped the back yard.
I baled the green water out of the pool closet.
I sat in an easy chair and napped for an hour.
Awake at 1900,   and it's now 2100, and taken this long to write three days' of blogs, and whatever the hell else I've been doing.
Then I made my own dinner, and went to my bedroom... watched some tv....   and eventually She joined me.
  My numbers have been ....incorrect, the past few days. THESE should be correct
DsLS   2  1/2  (58 hr)
DsLO  10 1/2  (254 hr)
DsLB   5 1/2  (131 1/2 hr)
D UN   101
D sL CIG  10 2/3


SMT for the day:
 There is one Power.  That Power is Perfect.  That Power is the Perfect Life of God.  That Life is my Life, now.  Energy and Matter are one thing.  I am that thing.   I am whole, complete and perfect.

from My Manifest:
 I will gracefully learn to accept Her judgment in ALL matters,  without complaint.

04.03 Diary

She woke me, around 0100.
There had been an accident of a biological function, and we had to strip the bed down.
We found something to sleep on, and under, and went back to sleep.
Awake ...0830...  and I did the various this-and-thats characteristic of a morning at home...
And got in my car around 1050, heading for the Thursday textbook-study class in BK.
29.3 miles.... and I arrived at 11:31,  and walked in, and didn't miss a thing, as DrH was in a meeting with the office manager.  
They wrapped up, and the other class attendees and I entered his office.
We were in class until shortly after 1300... managed to get through, oh, 3 pages of the textbook...and generally agreed to take a hiatus, and return on April 24th, same time.

I went to my car, and read some email (on my phone) and caught up on a couple phone calls that required my attention, then I headed for a gas station, then headed home.
I arrived around 1445, and She was gone with Her son,  who had spent the night with us, since he had these appointments on these back to back days.  
I went to my room, and started catching up on email.
She returned home around 1630, just to fill me in on what was going on for the rest of the evening,  that She was going to pick up Mb,  take D to get something fast to eat, take Mb to a restaurant, go to their meeting in SB... then come back to get me,  then go drop Mb off, then return home....
She departed, and I began a project of rearranging my room...and drawers...  so that all my notebooks were in one place, all my papers were in one place, as were my wallets,  my calculators, my files, etc.
That took... awhile...
Then I had dinner (Chili, left over from one previous night, rice left over from another previous night) while reading TSOM.
About then, I felt a migraine coming on.
Back in my room,  and I watched the most recent, and finale, I think, of Comic Book Men, along with another episode of Archer.
She called me and told me, that She dropped Mb by Herself, therefore was not coming to get me to be Her co pilot, and that I should 'watch out' and if it takes longer than 20 minutes for Her to get home, I should come looking for Her...
It did NOT take longer than 20 minutes, but She did call me, to come out and meet Her in the driveway... as She was worried that She had been followed.
We went back in the house without incident.
She went to Her room to do some online stuff.
I went to my room,  and managed to go to sleep around 2230.

HsLS 34
HsLO  78 1/2
HsLB  107 1/2
D UN 100
DsLC  9 2/3

SMT for the day:
 There is one Life.  That Life is God.  That Life is My Life now.  Every organ action and function of my physical body is in harmony with the Divine Life.  There is perfection assimilation, perfect circulation, and perfect elimination.  

from My Manifest
 I do NOT have 'permission' to whine or complain.

04.02 diary

around 0200, She text:  "Just woke up..."
"Just now.."
"Well, a couple hours ago..."
We met in the s-o chat room, and started talking about financial strains, until others started popping into the room, and were listening.
She signed off, and went back to bed.
Work continued for me, until about 0930, and off I went.
Home, about  1045...  in a really bad/angry mood.
(See the comment She left on my blog of 4.01,  especially the last two sentences......  I felt like I was carrying a volcano in the pit of my stomach, that was ready to erupt..)
She came out of Her room as I came inside, saw the look on my face, and said, "I'll... leave you alone for awhile."
Fed my cats,  updated notebooks,  added litter to my cats' box,
 She said, "After you've eaten, please come into my room to talk...)
I  ate a bit of something while reading the paper....
And went into Her room.
She was .. duh...sitting at the chair in front of Her computer.
She said, "So..what's wrong?"
I took a breath or two or three...
And told Her, Her comment on my blog ...had me furious..
She wrote that She  "...could spank you no matter how you feel..."
When in fact, there is NFW She could force it on me, if I was simply in no mo
od to take it.
And She wrote, "...perhaps I am too considerate of your feelings..."
Well, WTF?  How is it possible to be 'too' considerate?

We talked it out, back and forth, and it had tears streaming down Her face at one point, but we talked it out...and She came away from Her chair, to join me on the bed where I sat.... then we reclined....
and...  intercourse happened.
After a whole minute of cuddling, I headed off to my room for a nap, and She started getting ready to go, pick up Her son, living in HB, and take him to an appointment in SA.
She departed, and I fell asleep.
I was woken around 645, told to get up and showered/dressed, as we were going out to dinner, and I did so, and the four of us went off to the HTB.

We returned home.
She excused Herself to go do some 'computer stuff' in Her/Stitch's room, and I went to my room, to watch last night's "Justified".

Then I was asleep around 2245,  and I'm told, by Her, that She came in and joined me, around midnight.

HsLS  10
HsLO  54 1.2
HsLB  59 1/2
Days UN  98
DsLC  8 2/3

SMT for the day:
 "There is no weariness.   Mind and Spirit do not become tired nor weary.   I am Mind and Spirit.   The flesh cannot weary, since it has no mind of its own.   I am free from all illusions of weariness.  My whole being responds to the thought of life.   I am alive with the Great Vitality of the Spirit.

from My Manifesto:
I will do my best to answer any questions put to me honestly and directly, and will strive to make it my practice to volunteer any information that She should know about my physical or emotional condition.