Nov 7th Wednesday Diary

In 00:20
watched Veep 5:10, 6:1--8
Talked to Merry 0215-0230 about bill-pay and election 
out 05:49

car 5:57 home 655

fed animals
PRe packed
woke Merry
out 815 to dentist
tooth extracted
out 930 to Walmart 
prescription filled, some shopping, first 4 AB (antibiotics)
McD for coffee
Gas
home 1130
eat pastrami (from Subway previous night)
C/l out
sleep til 1630 
up  Pack n prep
eat chicken n rice 
bed 2030

June 25th Sunday Diary

Up 1000ish
Coffee
Called for another paper as mine was missing again.
watched The Hobbit
Paper delivered, and I read it
Then watched a bunch of 'food/cooking'shows
Nap 1700 to 1900
Up  shower   changed bandage on owwie
Car, with Stitch  1959
At babyman's place  20:24  17.4 miles
Home 20:54   17.5 miles back
Dinner   chicken n chips
Watched Preacher 2:1
Watched Veep  finale.
Napped on couch til going to bed...

June 18th Sunday Diary

UP every coupla hours
9:00 UP for coffee
And quesadillas, made by Sunshine
Sunshine gave to Stitch and me,  Father's Day card
Watched 2 eps of Fargo
Down for another nap

UP and watched
The Magnificent 7
then
Cloverfield
and took a shower, so that J could debride my shoulder oweee, and redress it
Called Dad at 1830 local...but voicemail.
Watched the M Kelly special featuring Alex Jones
Watched Star Trek Beyond
Dinner...steak and french fries.
Watched Veep
Bed 23:00

June 11th, Sunday Diary

Awake off and on

Up 18:30
Put some laundry away...
Watched Gotham two hour season finale
Dinner   taquitos n rice
Watched "the Accountant"
Watched 'Veep'
Napped on couch, thinking about what to watch next.

May 21 Sunday Diary

4:00 moved to lay on couch, for comfort
UP 09:20
we discovered the pilot was out on the water heater. I tried to relight it, could not
J took a cold shower.
Three of us dressed, out 10:22
Arrived at Edwards 26 10:45
Watched "Guardians of the Galaxy 2" from 11:39 to 13:55
From there, to Denny's for late lunch.
Then to 7-11 across the street, for 2 e filters
Home 15:50
I called Gas Co, set up an appointment for next day for serviceman to relight pilot
ANd called Owner, who told me to call Manager, who said, he would send out service man the next day.
Took a nap on couch.
J and S went shopping.
Up 18:50
Tried water heater pilot again, but no go
Paid bills on line
Started on sunday's paper
J & S returned home.
With another pack of e-cig filters for me, amonth othre things
Rob and I watched "10 Cloverfield Lane"   then the "Elementary" finale.
Rob went to bed, I watched "Veep".
I started on the last half of "Jurassic World" .....

May 15th Monday Diary

Too effin busy to do on Monday night.
Maybe will do on Tuesday night, but that looks even effin busier.

Worked  00:29 to 06:04
watched TWW 4:21   Update Diaries
Watched 4:22   
Read Sunday's paper
Watched 5:1-4
Car 6;11
Home 7:05
Fed animals.
MDM stir fry rice
Watched Veep  6:5
Bed 8:11
Up 1230
back to bed
Up 17:20  Pill, alka s Showered dressed packed
toilet
Kissed J good bye
Car 18:00
Manager at this other company I'm talking to, called 19:00 when I was 5 minutes away
Arrived 19:06  and called her back, when I could talk
...the main issue is money...  we're about $5 an hour difference. She said, she'd call me back on Tuesday
In 1935 to 2359
What a night... UP FRONTS in NYC effecting us with departures and arrivals.   Ugly.
AH well

May 14th, Sunday Diary

I opened the front door, and put a fan in front of it, to cool off the living room, then covered myself with my dressing robe.
At some point, she came out of the bedroom, passed through the kitchen and back, and gave the robe a yank to pull it off me.
And later, she came out and moved the fan from the door, for which I yelled at her to leave it alone.
Later still, she came out and closed the front door. 
Around 8, I got up and moved into the bedroom. 
She was awake, we talked a bit.  Or rather, she talked, I listened... I didn't feel like talking.

So...
WHY am I so ...on edge...so irritable ... so easily angered...?
I am feeling stressed...and depressed..or at least unhappy.
Stress...from work.  I now have a 75 minute ride to work, and close to that getting home.  We have trouble covering our work, because many affiliates are not taking our work because they simply aren't getting paid in reasonable time.   
My closest associate, Denny, has had interviews with a large company in El Segundo.  If he leaves, our Dispatch department goes sideways, fast and hard.  
I've had NO interest in sex (or masturbation) or Kink.  
I'm guessing that it was looking at porn on most of my shifts piqued my interest in those things, and I haven't (looked at porn) since... well around the time we moved, in April.   
I don't want to return to looking at porn,  but...
I don't know what to do ...to get happy (at least content) again, and in turn,  make J feel happy about our relationship.  I really don't know.

So, I slept all day....up 2 or 3 x to pee
Sons #2 and #4 came by and took J out for Mother's Day dinner.   J had to pay, since neither of them had money, but it was nice of them to take her out.
UP 16:45
Pill, alka/s, showered dressed toilet  
Packed up
Kissed Her good bye...
In car
rolling 18:07
At work 19:04
IN 19:22 to 23:59
Watched Veep 6:5.

May 7th, Sunday Diary

7:15  Up

Showered n dressed, as did J after me
Folded some sheets ...
Car with  J  8:52
At Spiritworks  9:45  
I checked in with GG.
We went in to attend Dr H's final service at SPW.
OUt 11:30
Called GG, arranged to meet him and MG at the Coral.
There until 13:30.
Then off to Griffith Park to drop in at a birthday party for one of J's online friends...
THERE until 14:20;  home 15:00
Both of us went for a nap: her in the bedroom, me on the couch.
She got up 18:30 or so, I got up about 19:00

dinner  pulled pork....
Watched 
   The Circus, season 2 finale
   Criminal Minds
   Scorpion   
     while cleaning out my 'important papers' file
   Veep  6:3
    Bed  23:30 

May 1, Monday diary

Up 0800
Toilet, a/s , toilet
fixed curtain rods
Checked online accounts
watched Veep 6:3, then Criminal Minds....
Then West wing  1:22 and 2:1&2  on my phone...
Nap 1300 to 17;15
Up  shower dress packed pill
K J good bye
Car 605   522.4
New office 19:12   557.7    via   710/5/101  exit CC   35.3. miles

In 19:30 to 23:58

Started on West Wing 2:3

April 26th wednesday Diary

Clock  0025  to 0559
Watched Movie  "Broadcast News"
Watched Veep 6:2
Stuck on what else to watch, so started on West Wing  1:1-4

Stopped for e cig filters
Home 6:57
In garage, finding bags.
changed bags in driveway, then upstairs
Fed animals
MDM pot roast
Watched TRMS Tuesday, while J wrote a couple checks for bills

Bedroom  0900 ...some pillow talk.

I told her, I'm just feeling uneasy, like stressed,,, I'm tired of always being 'tired' and wanting to sleep so much....  just unhappy, or depressed, not sure which.

Sleep, trying to
Up to pee  1030, 1130, 230

Up 1730
Pill
Toilet
Shower n dressed
packed lunch
K J good bye
Car 1823
Office 7:26
IN 19:29 to  23:59

Busy night...'
She called at 22:45? and I said, "Not now..." so J said, quickly "good night".

Things calmed down by 23:15 or so
Started on The West Wing 1:5

April 23rd Sunday Diary

In bed until 17 or 1800

Dinner   stir fry pork\
Read Sunday's paper
Watched Circus
Watched Veep
Watched 2 eps of Major Crimes

Bed  00:00

April 17, Monday diary

Finished ID Resurgence
Watched Veep again
Finished TWW 6:11, then 6:12 and 6:13
Bed 03:00

UP 1720
Pill  alka seltzer
toilet
empty the porta potty
Showered dressed
Prepped my work lunch
Kissed J good bye
Car 18:27

work  19:32

In 19:35 to 23:35

Started TWW 6:14

April 16, Sunday Diary

UP...
Breakfast  sausage and linguisa
Read Sunday's paper

Bed, nap

Up 1730
watched Criminal Minds

Sliced up potatoes for dinner
Watched The Circus
Watched Scorpion
and another Scorpion
The new VEEP
Dinner   ham and  cheesy potatoes

start watcing ID-Resurgence...