8.15 Saturday Diary Final

There was supposed to be a play party afterwards.  There didn't seem to be much of that kind of action, and we left,  0030 to 0100.
..Dropped HLB off...
 Got More gas....   (yesterday,  Booboobear had paid for about 5 gallons, and after this long round trip, my low fuel light was on again)... and Sunshine was hungry.
We stopped at Denny's.
We had a bit of a discussion about... what's going on between Merry and me,  and mostly what's with me.
Every(exaggeration?) Wednesday, some fuckn problem that gets me pissed off.

I dunno. I know I'm depressed and out of anti depressant.
I know I'm anxious.  Especially around pay day, when it's time to figure out what bills we can pay.
I've been UNlocked now as I write this.   57 hours... and I ...don't care. No interest in sex.  ...  Too fuckn hot, if anything. 
Filming, making a video? I said NO to that on Wednesday, when I got all pissed off.  Will be NO opportunity today/Saturday, with Babyman here.  
(Sunday and Monday morning too, if I really cared about such).
She asked me,  Do I wanna go to the HSG party today/Saturday?
I told Her, I don't know.
Yes and no.   $15 each ain't bad, compared to $50 for the two of us at a Lick party,  but same as a BoD party.  Still,  compared to what we NEED to pay bills, should we spend that money?
What really made up my mind is, if I'm not willing to let-Her-spank-me-at-home-and-film, why would we go to a party for that?
Home 02:45.
Her phone was dead. She was charging it up, and watching tv too loud.  I said, turn it down, or I'll go into the living room.
She turned it down, I finally got to sleep.

Awake noon, with an offer of coffee.
I sat up, and went to the living room, took a sip of coffee, fell asleep in the chair for ..a couple of hours.
Then, for fun, I went around the house with a thermometer, taking pictures, putting them on FB :  100 in BR1,  91 in the living room, 89 in BR2,   90 outside by the pool in the shade....
Back inside,  with Sunshine starting dinner...
In my chair...
  With my laptop, doing Clip Analysis...
  Recording bills payable
  Reading Science of Mind
  Dinner:  chicken stew casserole, I guess.
  Catching up on diaries...

 Reminder to myself, new 'stuff' in my white notebook I'd like Her to read, mostly short stories based on attempted Humiliation and Embarrassment between Merry and Shilo, but I'm still not in a mood to ask Her.   
It's not that I'm mad, still, or hurt, or ...anything.
I'm not ...anything.
I just don't care.
Do what you want, do anything you want, just leave me alone, leave me be.  My shields are up. Just stay away.  Anybody. Everybody.  
..................................................................................... 8.16  21:00
I moved to the desktop, and Merry sat in 'the chair' (and had seen this, and asked to read the new stuff in my white notebook, then She fell asleep) and I continued to about  00:30.....

s l Sex     167 H
s l Org     167 H
s l F/me  128 H
sl F /her   24 H
UNl          60 H
S her l Do   112 H
s l Ci          262 D
GluFree      22 D
S her last date  140 H
S l P/M         24 H