5.03 Diary "Shilo's winkie, all locked up..."

She was up all night, packing and prepping and cooking and what not.
She woke me up around 06:45, by saying, "F D A U, and take your briefs off."
I took 'em off, and knelt on the bed, FDAU.
She left the room, returned, and sat on the bed behind me.
I felt ... something enter my anus and rectum, and more of something, then more,  until I moaned, "UGHHHHHHHH...."
And She withdrew Her hand, saying, "Oh, by the way, you're constipated."
She had gotten most of Her hand in my rectum, up to about the knuckle on Her thumb.

I helped Her as much as I could with Her packing, and I fed the animals, and we showered.
Then She said, "It's lock up time."
I got out the Spartacus Deluxe, and squeezed my scrotum through the ring, followed by my penis, and slipped the cage over my penis, and attached a plastic security lock,  then asked Her to check it to make sure it was secure.

Then we packed up the car, and set off to pick up Her traveling companion.
On the way, we discussed the fisting.
I asked, if this was a make-up for NOT doing what She suggested She might do, Thursday morning.
She said, I did not really fulfill my part of the bargain in that I did not completely manage to convert Her jpg form into a usable format.
But, She thought it something I would like, before Her trip.
So we had a brief discussion about 'scales' like a scale of 1 to 10
Which I've since decided , should be from 0 to 10.  (my pleasure scale)
Where 0 is NO pleasure at all, such as eating macaroni and cheese.
5 would be dead center.  I'm okay if 'it' happens again, I'm okay if it doesn't.
10 would be the max...  like, for pastrami,  or chocolate and peanut butter candy.
And I told Her, fisting rates about a 5 and a half.
But it's situational....
To begin with, if I AM to be penetrated at all (which I do enjoy), and given the choice, I would prefer some kind of plug or dildo, and MUCH prefer a strap-on.
And for this fisting scene,  THAT I was groggy and not very awake put points against it.
And I needed to go pee, but She did not give me a chance.  Negative points.
Not knowing what She was going to do.  Negative points.  Had She told me, I could have. cooperated better, pushed against Her, opened my ass so to speak, but I did not know what was coming.
She does like to surprise me, but sometimes it  helps if I know what to expect.
Huge positive points could be added IF
.... We were to set up the videocamera, and called it a teaching video, "How to Fist Your Man"
..... It happened at home, with an audience...
....  It happened at a dungeon,  with whomever that wanted to watch, watching....  (that has happened twice).

We picked up Her traveling companion, and headed for the airport.
I dropped them curbside, about 0930,  and pulled out of the airport, and went off in search of gasoline.
Went from there directly to a bank nearby home to make our house payment...
Then went home...   to use the toilet  (interesting, how off I feel the need to 'go' after I've had a fist in my rectum), and take the selfies shown above...
Then I got back in my car, and headed for a dungeon for the Moonburn party.
There, I just had pulled into the parking lot, was sitting in my car, and another car pulled up alongside of me, and out of it stepped Will,  my favorite Top from  April of '13,  until that relationship went to hand in a hellbasket... my fault for creating expectations...  which, in the ensuing months, we talked over and resolved.
Anyway, I went in, and nodded at Devo,   who was my Top during March of '13, until THAT relationship went deep south...  and we never talked to resolve those issues, so now we're on a 'nodding' status only.
And eventually,  Stewii came in, whom I've played with a number of times, as Top and bottom, and we still message back and forth on Fet....and we chatted a bit, then he went on in to the main room.
I spent a great deal of time, watching.
Will was constantly involved with one bottom or another.  He always has quite a following there.
I saw Stewii giving, in one scene, and receiving, in others.
Towards the end of the party, I was standing at the doorway to the room Will was in, just finishing a workout he was giving to some bottom, then he looked at me, and said, 'Your turn, big boy."
I stripped to black jock-briefs,  put my hands on the spanking bench, and bent over slightly, pushing my butt out.
And he whacked my bottom, hard and proper.
And stopped, about when I could see one droplet of blood fall to the floor.
He wiped my bottom with alcohol, and said, "Okay, we're done."
I stood up, thanked him, and dressed.
It was quitting time at the party, and I left.
Home, about 1700, and I went straight to my bedroom, to take a nap.
Up around 1845, and showered,  and dressed ... for the next party I was attending.
The dress code for the party was "thong", and I had purchased, long ago, a lovely women's thong, just for this party.... but I noticed that the thong does not contain my package at all, when it's caged. 'So I had to figure out something else.
Like this:

Over that, I put on my favorite style of black tights, and a zip front shirt...  and off I went.
I arrived at the dungeon at 20:03.
The newbies class was schedule to begin at 20:00, and I walked in,  and sat down and it had not started, as Lady K said, they just opened the door at 2000, so she was waiting a few minutes, before beginning.
The class started at 2010 or so, and ended at 2030 or so... at which point, social hour began, for the subs, of which there was a major preponderance,  to meet and greet the Dommes.
Social hour is not my thing. Fact is, it's my anti-thing,  the sort of thing that has, in the past, triggered... and is still quite capable of triggering, a panic attack.
So, I stayed away of socializing.
I had no intention, in attending this party, of  trying to get playtime with some Domme, anyway.
I was there, by my own intent, to scope things out and report back to Her, what all happens and when, and to participate in the spanking line.
I will write up a more formal report, in a journal entry.
Around 2200, Lady K began setting up chairs for the spanking line, that started in the first medium size room, and snaked through the second medium size room, and included the slightly elevated stage, and said, "Heavy masochists up front, and on the stage... paddles included if you're willing,  medium subs this way, and around this way for lightweights."
I hurried to a place on stage, and bent over the examining table on the stage.
The Dommes started coming around.
The second to approach me said "Hello" and asked if it was okay if she used a rubber baton-like paddle on me.
SURE.
Yeah, it stung a ...little...bit...and also drew drops of blood on the spot weakened earlier in the day.
The next Domme up put a paper towel in my hand, and told me to hold it there.
Later, Lady K came up and said, 'You boys getting enough attention up here?"
"NO," I said, emphatically.
"Well, let's try Ol Betsy," she said, referring to a wooden paddle, not at all thick,  maybe 5" by 8" overall.
She smacked my butt a few times, and I all but chuckled.
"How does that feel?"
"Have you started yet?' I asked.
"Oh, such a smart mouth, I'm going to tell Mistress Merry on you."
"Oh, She knows already," I said.
A couple more smacks... and there was blood on the paddle.
"You got blood on my paddle!" she said, in mock indignation.
"Happens quite often, ask Merry," I said.
In the course of the evening, every time I bumped into Her, She said, "YOU got blood on my paddle..."
The spanking line event ended about  22:30,  and it was time for all the other scenes,  whether by Dommes using their dance cards, and by Dommes who brought their subs for play.
I saw, in one smaller room, a short Domme pegging a BIG black fellow, as he lay back, with his legs up and spread....
And another scene, as a Domme had her slave over a bench, inserting numerous plugs into his rectum, then finishing with a long hard pegging...
And some rope bondage, and puh-lenty of impact play scenes.

as of midnight:
HsLS  62 1/2
HsLO 616
HsLD  9
H Un/Locked  8 1/2 / 15 1/2
Her, OOT  (from, leaving the house)  15 H
Her DO   no
Did I offer?  No, for lack of time.  She kinda suggested it, but in retrospect, I think it woulda made Her late for the flight.



from Rules for Enforced Chastity
She is entitled to tease me, deny me, and generally kept me aroused for as long as She deems fitting.
from My Manifesto:
No part of My Manifest is intended to interfere with my career, or Spiritual, or family life.

02.22 Diary

Up 0830
Over breakfast, I showed Her the note added to my FL profile, and She told me how SHE wanted it done, and I revised it.
Then She said, "Corner, now." 
And directed me to the corner in the entry way, where the front door would hit me in the ass if it was opened too hard.
I went there and stood.
I felt something touching my buttocks.... did not know what, as I continuing standing as still as I could.
I did adjust my feet once, which prompted an immediate "Keep still!" from Her.
Later, She showed my pictures She took.
She had written across my buttocks, in permanent marker, "I lied to Mistress about my smoking. Liar Liar".
I did not get copies of the pictures, but it does appear in video that we shot, later in the afternoon.

She said, "Time's up," and I turned around to run to the bathroom, to vomit in the toilet.  Something did not sit well.
She allowed me time to lay down, and try to relax, feel better, a bit.
I did so,  then got up to do some ...things.
In my room, I tried to fix the speakers to my stereo, to no avail.
I managed to hang two heavy metal bookshelves on a wall.
I started work on merging and rearranging drawers.  I had some drawers  over here with socks in it, and drawers over there, and I was working on getting 'em all in one chest.
She came in and said, "I want you over the spanking bench."
I said, "No."
She said, "What!?  You may say, 'I need a minute' or 'I need some time' but NOT 'NO'."
"Um, yes, okay, in two minutes."
Actually, I was ...annoyed...about something else, which will come up ...soon in this post.
I went into the living room, stripped naked,  focused the video camera, and got on the bench.
She came in,  and had me get upright, so the camera could see the writing on my buttocks.... then I got back down.
She started with Her leather belt.....
Then used two of the three wooden spoons that came in a set we recently bought at a supermarket...
Then She put on a rubber glove, and started with two fingers in my anus, then three fingers, then four, then had most of Her hand inside, until I grunted, I had enough, and She took Her hand out, and told me to get up, and thus ended the video.
I took the camera to my room, plugged it into a laptop, and uploaded it, and began the process of converting it to wmv,  and editing it to cut out the nothing-happening parts.
She came into my room, and lay on my bed for a 45 min nap while I was doing this.
Around 1545, She got up, to go into the shower, to get ready for a dinner meeting.
I hit the shower first, and was just finishing when She got in.
While She was in the shower, She said, "I Love you....." as She often does, many times a day.
(not a complaint or anything like that, just saying what is)...
And I asked, "So.... why don't you want to please me?"
She stuck Her head out of the shower...."What makes you say that, I always want to please you..."
"You still haven't, or won't, do the spanking video that I want to do...."
"Oh.... THAT one.   Remember, this is about what makes ME happy."

What??!!    Am I not in this relationship for my own happiness, too?  
This response did NOT make me happy.

Then She added, "You are under punishment.  You don't get what you want."
Okay, THAT, I understand

She got out of the shower, we dressed.
We had to stop a dog fight in progress before we could get going, but get going we did.
And arrived at the selected dinner place around 17:10.
Ell was already there.
Ell was the 'new guy' that had come to the Munch Thursday night, and She had agreed to meet with him again, to continue answering the multitude of  questions he might have.
The three of us ate...and he had a few questions, and She had a few questions for him....
and we left, and we were home around 20:00
She called a family meeting,.as Stitch has been carrying a bit of attitude lately, so he and I sat in the kitchen while She baked cookies and talked.
I guess a few things were straightened out...?
And I went back to my room, to continue..and finally finish....  trimming the video, putting the pieces together into one video,   and I posted it on Fl, and Stube, and S-o.
It was 00:30, and I went in and said 'good night' to Her, and went to bed, and She joined me, shortly thereafter.

HSLO  779
HsLS  55
HSLD  10
Day U   7.31.22
Punishment; Day 1



 

12.26 * Real tales of My Strict Wife

I hope to have this done to me, sometime.
Well, I have had Her entire fist up my ass....

12.14 Diary

Our 3 month wedding anniversary to the day.... (Saturday the 14th)  which was one reason why we were in a motel celebrating it, rather than ...staying at home.

.. Then a charity auction began.
First up was a pair of bamboo paddles, one LONG and kinda skinny but thick enough, paired with a pizza-board paddle.  I won the bidding with $40.
Then another pair of paddles came up, one short, one long.  A Dom that She knows won that one.
We watched as other items were auctioned off.
The Dom was playing  with his new paddles,  and She looked at the short one, hefted it, handed it to him, and said, "I'm game, let's try it."  And She turned around, put Her hands on my shoulders, and said, "Give it your best shot."
Well...he did.
She did not say anything on impact, but after a moment, She turned around and said something like, "Oh fucking hell, that hurt."
Then She told him to go ahead and smack the other buttock with the longer paddle.... which he did, and She voiced a similar complain.
And, it's been a constant source of amusement to me, because She's been complaining about how much 'it hurts'  for the last couple days since it happened.
We left the nearly empty party ....and went back to our motel, stopping in at the coffee shop for ice cream sundaes, first.
It had been a day..... and we went to sleep around 3, without further activity.

Awake the first time around 0830, without getting up, then again around 11:30.

We started our play with .... putting my scrotum in a humbler,  then me being FDAU on the bed, while She applied the new paddles.

Then She took the humbler off me, and said, simply, "Not my thing.'

Then, my turn, so to speak.  I put cuffs on Her wrists and ankles....  attached the cuffs to straps attached to each of the four bed supports so that She was spread eagle. ....set the timer on my phone for a 5 minute countdown, ...and began licking Her pussy while She moaned and came and moaned and came.
At the end of 5 minutes I gave Her a break....    then took the dildo off Her strap-on, put a condom on it, reset the clock, and licked Her pussy, while giving Her the dildo....  
Then I set the dildo aside, and mounted Her.    ....and undid Her cuffs, so She could wrap Her  arms and legs around me...  and we performed an intimate act of a sexual nature .... until I was too tired to continue.

After a rest, we resumed ....  and I ... ejaculated, an orgasm, first one for me in 363 hrs.....
I slid down, and licked Her pussy clean of Her cum and mine.
She started to doze, and suggested I wake Her around six, and make sure I've had 'another' enema by then.

I woke Her...and after minor preliminaries, She had me FDAU along the length of the bed....
and began penetrating my anus....   like so.

TWO FINGERS

THREE FINGERS

FOUR FINGERS

FIVE FINGERS

AFTER SHE TOOK HER FIST OUT...

 She said I have a "gay man's ass".... which I think means, after such abuse, it shrinks right back to normal size.
  Looking at these pictures now, I'm not shaved anywhere nearly as close as I thought, in side my crack.

We got up and showered, and dressed, and went across the way to the coffee shop for dinner.

That's where She started with the talk..
That, it seems, I always "have to be right".  That I argue, often, in order to prove myself right.  That I argue with Her in public, when I think I'm right...when I should know, that I'm not supposed to do that.
I admitted it.
Yes I do that.   My years of being me is difficult to overcome, reminders would help.
Yet, She doesn't think She should have to remind me.
I said, Just a simple mention of  'rule 28', something like that.'
Then, She said, I should know the rules, the contract, etc., like I should have them memorized.
I said, no, I revised it,   changed 'slave' to 'husband'.... touched up the grammar, etc, but I certainly did not memorize it.
And I was hurt.
Enough to make me....shut down...as we returned to the motel room.
In the room, undressed, in bed,  She asked, "What's your preference?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing....  I think, do I wanna be beaten?  No, not really. Do I wanna have sex? No, not really. I just don't wanna ...do anything...."
"Okay..." She said.

I was hurt by what She said about the contract.....
I was hurt by Her seeming unwillingness to help remind me, when I ..screw up.
I was hurt by Her complaints:
 I had forgotten to bring knives, to cut the brownies.
I have forgotten ginger ale for the ice chest.
I had eaten the entire chocolate almond bar without leaving Her any!
I ate an entire Reese's chocolate peanut bar by myself!

I felt like I was screwing up big time.

Hr S L O  7 1/2
Hr S L sx   7  1/2
Hr s DD  11
Hr UN 398

12.11 Hoping for some of this....next party?

But if so, I'd like a picture of 'before', 'during' and 'after'

12.06 *Fisting "101"

Fisting 101

safety and "how to" tips

This is a basic primer on fisting, including tips on how to do it and some important safety reminders. Once you've read this you may also want to visit the page on "anal sex" mentioned at the end of this article.

What is "fisting"?

Everyone (well, almost everyone) knows what finger-fucking is. Whether in ass or pussy, it's terrifically enjoyable to stroke someone inside. (Fingers up a man's ass, if aimed properly, will tickle his prostate gland, which feels AMAZINGLY good... just a little tip!) And people are generally comfortable with the idea of finger-fucking with more than one finger. But not as many people have been exposed to the idea of inserting a _whole hand_ into the ass or pussy... which is, in simplest terms, what fisting is. Yes, it's anatomically possible, and yes, it's EXTREMELY pleasurable. (I haven't experienced it, save vicariously.)

That said, it's now very important to explain what fisting is _not_. You do _not_ make a fist and ram it home. Fisting is one of the most intimate and complete ways to touch another human being, and it is something that has to be worked up to slowly and gently. There have been many posts about fisting on s.s.b-b, talking about the proper technique, the safety concerns, the fantastic feeling of openness and connection, the magical plane that two people fisting can attain... it's an incredibly intense way to make love. I can't do justice to the firsthand descriptions others have written, but I can mention some of the safety concerns.

Some safety issues

First of all, cut and file all your nails until every finger is as smooth as it could _possibly_ be. Your fingers will be in some very delicate places -- places that may not have pain receptors. You want to make sure you minimize all chance of causing damage.

Use latex gloves. AIDS is a matter of life and death.

You will probably want to clean your bottom's GI tract out. What else are enemas for? Be gentle with enemas; warm water is best. Don't use detergent in enemas. Some people enjoy putting alcohol (booze, not rubbing alcohol!) in enemas; if you do, use a VERY VERY VERY DILUTED solution, since it will get absorbed _real_ fast, and the bottom won't be able to expel it if they get too drunk. (I don't know a precise dosage, since this seems a bit too risky for me.)

Okay, now how do you do it?

Use LOTS (and I mean __LOTS__) of lube. Push it in with your fingers. Make a huge mess. Get it all over your hand, the back of your hand, between your fingers. Keep applying it as you go. You can't have too much lube. (And remember, oil-based lubricants dissolve latex). Some people like KY jelly; others say it dries out too quickly. In the UK, a substance called "Aqueous Cream" is the creme de la creme. Others use "J-Lube," which is a powdered concentrate that when added to water produces incredibly slippery goo; it's sold in veterinary supply houses! (Some people still use Crisco with latex gloves, on the theory that the Crisco is just the best lube, and the gloves don't break down _that_ fast. This is risky, but it's an option.)

Go slowly. Start with one finger and work up. DON'T RUSH. Be sensitive to your bottom's feelings. You are trying to persuade part of their body to open for you, to admit part of you deeply inside it. The energy will move back and forth, and you'll ride it, coaxing and pushing, in and out, moving your bottom into a trance. Keep communicating with your bottom; gags, or role-playing where the bottom feels inferior or is told to stay quiet, may not be conducive to the kind of relaxation and open empathy you'll probably need if this is a first time.

If your bottom suddenly hits their limit, you'll know; their orifice will clench tight shut suddenly. DON'T PULL OUT. Stay right where you are until the contraction ends, THEN start pulling out. You can pull a muscle or two if you try to back out in the middle of a reaction like that. If this happens, it's OK; you'll know to go slower next time (if you both want to try again). But assuming all is well...

When you reach five fingers, you're almost there. Now is when you want to be most sensitive and most aware. Your bottom is going to be flying on pain and pleasure; a sudden flinch and you'll find the asshole or vagina doesn't want you anymore. Respect that, and pull out (slowly!). But if your bottom's bottom wants it, then you'll slip your knuckles inside, folding your thumb *inside* your fingers, and (so I've been told) your hand will NATURALLY form a fist -- you DON'T need to clench your hand or anything else! (Note: be careful with your nails as you form a fist).

Now the real fun begins... explore, entice, pleasure your bottom, who will be in heaven... and when it comes time to pull out, do so slowly and naturally!