AND, She had decided, for this week, to reduce my daily ration of cigarettes to 9.
Seemed to me, like a big reduction from 12, considering it's along with reducing my masturbation to ... NONE... so, like, wow...
Awake, 8:30 or so, I guess...
We both go up to go pee.
Afterwards, She said, lock it up.
"Do you mean, you want me locked up during the party?"
"Yes."
I had an emotional reaction, that I still don't understand.
"Then we aren't going!" I said, and I grabbed my purse, and stomped downstairs.
The reason for grabbing my purse: my cigarettes were in it, and I wanted to go, sit outside and have a smoke.
Which I did.
And did not like the taste.
And I thought about it, trying to figure out why I reacted like that.
I know I've confused about our relationship.
We have a sexual one, for sure. So why does She want me locked up, if we've been having sex, like almost every time we're alone. That was bothering me.
Then I thought, we're not going to be having sex at this party. So what does it matter if I'm locked up.
And, She's being telling people, She has me locked up. This is one way to show it, maybe.
And more importantly, She wants me locked up, because... She doesn't have to give a reason. She is my Mistress, I am Her slave. She says, I do. What's the difference, why....
I went back inside, and upstairs.
She was under the covers, all but crying.
She said, She was really upset, because She was afraid I had left, She didn't know where I went, I took my purse, I could have been going anywhere, gone for ....no idea.
She was simply afraid I had abandoned Her.
I apologized a hundred times.
I could have, should have, told Her.
I should have stayed, and simply done as She said.
I should have stayed, and asked that we talk about it.
I should have requested a time out.
Just about anything would have been better than just walking out.
She knows or has learned, sometimes I need time to process things, or requests.
Invariably I agree, easily, after I've processed, but ...sometimes I just need the time.
It's really weird that Her orders for my chastity have effected me like this, because it's been a ...desire of mine for quite some time, to have my cock controlled, to have my masturbation curtailed, or stopped, and gawd knows, if I don't masturbate for long enough, I might even be able to cum during intercourse....
I think I'd feel different if we only had a Mistress/slave relationship, and She was controlling me just to control me, but since we are lovers, and have professed to a having a deep burning love for each other, it's just been making me feel so strange to have Her, on the one hand, wanting to make love every time we're alone, and on the other hand, wanting to keep me locked up, whenever we're NOT making love.
Still, it was utterly, completely wrong of me, to walk away...run away, the way I did.
So, it took awhile to get that sorted out.
She even said, "You don't have to lock it up if you don't want to."
And I said, "I'm not going to use it at the party, or afterwards. You said, lock up, I'm going to lock up." And I did.
So, finally, we go up, took showers. She sent me down to the laundry room to find the bra She brought to wear with the dress She brought for the party. Only it turned out, She didn't bring that bra, after all.
So, we adjusted our plans... We thought we'd go to breakfast first, but instead, we were going bra-shopping at a department store.
We packed my toy bag first, and off we went.
She found an appropriate bra, then we went into the snack shop, and sat and ate and drank, then made our way to the dungeon for the party.
We said hello to the birthday-girl-guest-of-honor, and went on in, and sat around talking,
until She went up to Her 'sister' and asked if She was going to watch.
'Sister' said yes, and we went into the main playroom, and I stripped to lilac panties, and knelt on a spanking bench.
First this picture as a baseline:
these were some after-shots:
With my bottom somewhat the worse for wear, we went out to mingle a bit.
We snacked and chatted, then She looked for Daddy, and asked him if he wanted a turn, whacking me.
He said, Yes, he did, and we went into some room, and I stripped and bent over a bench.
After a hard application of a paddle a skinny something, and two canes...during which he broke TWO canes,
here's some results:
Well, oww.
It hurt, and still hurts, while I'm at work sitting on it.
I was smiling, as we returned to mingling.
We took seats in an outer area, and just talked or didn't talk.
People came and went, then it was just Mistress and me, and She climbed on my lap, and sat, straddling me, facing me.
And She asked, using my full name, >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>, will you marry me?
"May I think about it?"
"Certainly."
A second went by.
"Yes, I will."
"Of course, this means, I will formally collar you."
"That's an informal way of saying that."
"Well, it's assumed that if we are to marry, you get collared."
And so I said, "Mistress, may I have the honor of wearing Your formal collar?"
"Yes, you may."
Wow.
And She said, "Let's go."
We did.
Back at my place, She changed clothes, and we gathered up Her laundry from my utility room, and put it in Her.
With a great deal of reluctancy on Her part and mine, She drove off.
Was time for me to walk Cookie, take a shower... get ready for work.
I don't much doing any of that, though.
At work, another night.
Exchanged a number of texts with Her, and even chatted some on the Site.
So, here we are in the middle of another milestone in our relationship... and looking at our schedules, we won't see each other again until ... possibly Thursday morning, some 78 hours away
Oy.
Scoreboard: as of 2359 7/21, or 00:00 7/22
Cigarettes = 9 (my limit for the day, and yeah, it's been an intense day)
102 hours since O
84 hours locked up (minus those little breaks)
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