Off work 0600, went home, still feeling kind of ill about this chastity discussion that wasn't yet a real discussion
I wrote about it in my blog, and posted an entry on FL, which I was sure She would read sometime.
I was walking the dog, when She called me at 06:45, surprisingly, to tell me, that She had read it, She had not meant to upset me by it, that She had replied to my post, that I should not worry about it, and that if I was that upset about it, I should have called Her, anytime at all.
Well, I went about my business, and called Her back, around 0745, and we talked some more about it, well, sort of, because I said, I really did not want to talk about it on the phone, as it was crackly and so on, and She was on Her way to my place anyway.
In due time, She arrived.
First thing was, She wanted to start a load of laundry in my washing machine, something I had offered to allow Her to do, anytime She came over.
In my utility room, She looked at my washing machine, and was not happy. I never took the time to clean the machine, and it showed, and She went about cleaning it Herself, going as far as telling me to go away, while She did it.
So I left the room, and sat on the steps, with my head down, waiting for Her.
She came along, and said, "Pouting is not an option."
"I'm not pouting, I'm meditating."
"Okay, let's go."
We went upstairs, and She began preparations for Her main purpose for coming over.... putting dye in Her hair, to highlight certain areas.
I watched, and helped as I could, fetching things when fetching was required, and in a few minutes, She was done, and placed a plastic cap over Her hair, and went into my spare room (play room) and laid herself down to take a nap.
I lay down next to Her, and in a few minutes, She sat up again, and I realized, as soon as She began talking, that her much younger alternative self had taken over. I talked with Her for awhile, teaching Her a new word, "arbitrary", which is the way I felt about Her decision about chastity, explaining to Her little self, that some decisions are made from logic and reason, and other decisions are made 'just because' and without a reason, and I really did not like decisions made 'just because'.
Soon, Little Self went back to sleep, and Mistress woke up.
We talked some, and She could tell from the tone of my responses that I was REALLY unhappy.
And She asked, "Is this about the washer and dryer thing?"
"No, You were right about that, it needs to be cleaned."
"Then what...?"
"Well, what IS the other thing I've been upset about?"
"The...chastity?"
"Yes... and ... why?"
"It's a kink of mine, and I know it's a kink of yours..."
I tried to explain, "I have used chastity as a method of masturbation control. I used to masturbate compulsively and obsessively, and I used chastity to stop. Nowadays, You have set limits of how often, and how long, I can masturbate, and recently, we've been close, very close, even ... attempting intercourse, when my winkie cooperates, and it just feels so strange that one day, we're ... love making, and the next day, You want to lock me up."
"I should have been clear. I just wanted you to know, that I haven't forgotten about it, but I had no plans for it for months, like not til the end of summer, at least. I did not want to pile on you more than I think you can handle at once. It's just that when I think of something, I'm afraid I'll forget it, and so I mention it immediately, even if it's some time down the road..."
"You didn't say that, and it really scared me, because I did not know when you had in mind, or for how long, and I read this posts, about guys saying they are locked up for months at a time, even longer..."
"Oh, no, I would never do that to you...."
I felt much better... and in a few minutes, the conversation stopped, as we began love making.
My winkie was hard enough to make entry, and continue for awhile before it faded.
We stopped, and continued, just talking, until I seemed ready to try again, and I suggested some heavy whacks of the wooden spoon on my bottom to really get me going... and soon, we were at it again, until my hard winkie went soft again.
Then She suggested I spank Her bare bottom with my hand for awhile, and I was happy to oblige.
In following conversation, She told me to forget about chastity, if I did not want it, She would not insist.
I told Her I do (want chastity), under circumstances of Her locking me up during times we were not together, releasing me when we are together, but She said, She enjoyed the thought of me masturbating while thinking about Her, which really is what I have done.
Since She had a lunch appointment to get to, She got up, showered, rinsed out Her hair, etc, and I followed Her to Her car, to see Her go.
I fixed my dinner, and went upstairs, and ate, feeling better, and a little horny.
I napped a little, woke up somewhat hornier, and was stroking myself, when She came walking in, and got on the bed next to me, telling me to continue, if I wanted.
I didn't really feel like it, as I liked just laying there, next to Her, as we talked a bit, and She cried a little, as Her appointment had taken a sad turn.
Then it was time for Her to go, and pick up Her SO from work, and I went with Her to Her car, to say good bye.
I returned to my bedroom, and resumed masturbating, to images of being locked in chastity by Her, being spanked by Her, and love making, until I achieved the necessary release.
I got to sleep all of an hour or so, when She called, asked me to look up a much needed mailing address on my computer.
I did so, and got up, to begin my day/night, as I had a class to get to, in two hours.
I walked the dog, showered, etc, and went to class.
After class, I went to work...or came to work, since that's where I am now...
And we communicated by text; She let me know, around 22:30 that She was going to bed.
So, the long and short of this is: She admitted, She was wrong in telling me about chastity, without really explaining what She had in mind, such as ...starting when, or for how long, etc, and I went a little nuts because I did not immediately start asking the appropriate questions, in order to get a better idea of what She had in mind.
But here's another Truth, and I'm fairly confident that She reads this blog, and I hope She takes this under consideration:
I REALLY like the idea of Her 'locking me up' and holding the key, during times we are NOT together, thus not allowing me to masturbate during those times.
If that is done, it might help me maintain an erection during the times we ARE together.
Then, if She wants to see me masturbate... when we are together, that would be Her choice, or ...if She prefers, She might find some other use for the penis that, even though it is attached to my body, belongs to Her.
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