Oct 20

Alarm off 0800.
She called me, oh, a minute later.
Then I went back to sleep until 0915.
Damn.
Up to feed everybody, and scrambling....
Didn't get into car until 0945, trying to get to Service at 10:00, some 25 miles away.
Oh well.
My head being on some other planet, I missed the freeway interchange I should have taken....
Arrived at, in Service around 10:30.
Oh well.
Towards the end of Service, Dr H STILL called me up front to give me the Certificate of Completion that I was expecting for a class I finished a month ago, so that was nice.
I said Hello to a number of fine people that I haven't seen in some weeks...
And paid $100 for the Spirit of Home party at a restaurant in Burbank, next Saturday....so I know that I have the intention of going, but that is all I know about it right now.

Across the street for some minor shopping.... in my car, answering email.... then off to the monthly Spanko Group party, at the LdS.

...sigh....
Boring....
Nobody there I knew well enough to talk to...  ones I could nod at, say Hi to...   but I had more inquiries about "Hey, where's Mistress today"  than about me.
I expected to see, hoped to see, C and L, there....
At some point, I sent a text to C, asking wassup, and she replied that she was home with the mother of all migraines.
So, I was looking at crap on my phone.... found a post from another Mistress, looking in a big hurry for a 'toilet slave' to take the place of one that just cancelled....
Curious, I sent a private email, asking, what was involved.
She replied,

"Half hour of filming I will be spoon feeding you my shit. Perhaps wipe some in you. You will be tied to a chair. This is for a client and I am supposed to be showing him through you what I will be doing to him."

I lost interest, and politely backed away, but saying, I did not have permission to do such.

I sent an email to Her, telling Her how bored I was.

I went inside to the 'spanking booth' and eventually, a woman came in to 'man' it,  and with my pants off, I got about thirty minutes of action on my bared bottom.

I don't know what she used on me, because I didn't actually see any of the implements....

I know I did not utter a word....although my breathing might have changed, now and then....

Towards the end, after some invigorating cane strokes, she whispered in my ear, "I've had this cane, seven years, I've only used it on a few subs...  and none as hard as I just used it on you."

Later, I told her about my experience with L and his sjambok.

Session over...I thanked her, helped her pack, we cleaned up, parted ways.

Later, in the bathroom, I took some pictures of welts.

And I sent another email to Her, telling Her, things were better, having got this decent enough spanking, and I told Her about the email exchange with the other Mistress...........................sigh.........

And I went to (arrived at) work, arriving 19:15, and sent Her a text.

She responded, saying, "Just got home, how was the party....?"

I replied, saying that I sent to Her, emails about it.

She...went ballistic, something along the lines of "WTF were you thinking....."

Then, "I need to talk."    Which is bad, for me.   If She says, "We need to talk," it's okay.  If She says, "I need to talk," it's not good.

Then, "..you WILL be talked to, and possibly punished."

Then, "...you are not permitted to speak to/email ANYONE until further notice."

So, now, I'm upset and angry as .... all get out.

YES I should have consulted with Her before I initiated any contact.

    I do have a certain lack of impulse control, and I saw no harm in .... seeking more information.

   Once I acquired that information, I lost interest.

BUT  If I had not told Her about it, She would never have known...at all. Period.

I could have (should have) said nothing, because nothing happened, nothing came of it. It was an email exchange that lasted 10 minutes.  Nothing happened.

Now, She is 'pissed' and I'm 'pissed' because She is pissed (about something that She wouldn't know about if I didn't tell Her).

Punishment?  FFS!

So.... the choices bouncing around in my head.... with some five hours remaining to mull them over ...  regarding what to do, once I get off work...

1.  NOT go home

2.  Go home.... go in my room, and lock the door

3.  Go home,  wake Her up as She expects,  listen as She talks, accept whatever punishment She deems fitting....   then retreat into the emotional bubble that I'm more than capable of creating around myself, that can render me incommunicado for a LONG time

4.  Go home.... wait for 'it' to start, whatever 'it' will be,  rip the collar from my neck, and throw it at Her feet 

5.  Go home, listen to what She has to say 'with an open heart', accept whatever punishment She deems fitting...and carry on, with the understanding that this is the authority I gave Her, when I asked for Her collar.

Whatever will I choose?

Why am I so upset?

Glad you asked.....

Backtrack to our contract....  (not that the contract is enforceable in any state of this union, but it IS the agreement between Her and I...)

I quote from  item 3 in standing rules:

"The slave agrees to accept any punishment............without hesitation."

But 

  But 

    But

 THIS defies logic and reason.

NOTHING HAPPENED!

And

SHE WOULD NOT KNOW ABOUT IT IF I HAD NOT TOLD HER!

See, I got this 'thing' about logic and reason and justification.

That's why I'm so aggravated.

as of midnight

H s LO  254

H s DB   40

H LU   39.5