After sixteen days of abstinence from spanking .. all my idea, or rather, from my refusal to accept any ...
On Sunday morning, I was willing.
It started with Her, telling me about a dream She had, and I slowly decided to tell Her about an ongoing fantasy I was having, which involved a broken cane.
We had one cane, on which the handle had broken off, leaving about 18" of 'stick'.
I've seen videos of over-the-knee canings being applied, and ever since I had uncovered this stick (the day before, packing a toy bag for a party), I'd been having fantasies of being over Her lap, Her whacking my bottom with this stick.
Of course, somebody might point out, that we have two other short canes, one about 12", one about 18", both Delrin, and if I was wanting otk caning, either of these would work quite well...
BUT for whatever reason, uncovering this stick kindled the visions in my head, and I told Her about them.
She asked if this meant, I was ready for a spanking from Her, and I said, yes....
She propped Herself up on the bed, I provided Her with implements, and climbed up on the bed, and went down over Her lap, with my groin area nestled between Her spread thighs.
She used the stick, which definitely provided a sweet stinging... followed by somethin' else, followed by a squarish pizza board bamboo paddle, with which after a couple swats, She declared too heavy for OTK spanking.
I got up, and grabbed several other implements, then got back in place.
She continued with me in this position, which meant my outer buttock relative to Her, my right one, was taking the worst of it, so She had me rotate 180 degrees, so that my left buttock could get better action.
Then, She had me flip over, so that I was face up, still over Her lap, in a fashion, with my butt resting between Her spread legs.
She rubbed my mons pubis with the waffle maker, and said, "You may call 'mercy' while I'm doing this. If you do, I will stop."
And...She began smacking my mons with the hard plastic paddle.
Thirty one times, the paddle landed there... then I called 'mercy'.
And She started laughing, and said, "I thought you would hold out, for about thirty..."
Then She whacked the upper front of each of my thighs, thirty times, then the lower front of each thigh twenty times... which actually drew spots of blood.
Bloodshed... I do not care about, as long as stitches are not necessary, and even stitches I would not care about, as long as I don't have to go to a hospital or urgent care facility.
So, the bloodshed did not (does not) bother me.
What does bother me:
In having had some time to process all this, think about it,
it's become my opinion that,
the beating on my front side was cruel, vicious, and brutal.
Unjustified, uncalled for.
And NOT what I signed up for.
Beatings on my buttocks?
Fuck, yeah!
It's how or why we got together.
How did that progress to this?
My thing is for spanking (or rather, being spanked).
And that means, on my buttocks!
None of my fantasies have included red and purple bruises on my mons and front of my thighs.
Nor WILL such things be included, now that I've experienced it.
So, this whole scene was a singular exception to my generalized abstinence from S&M play.
During this period when I've been in a mental state of stress and depression, some three weeks now, our D/s or FLR-DD relationship dynamic has been on hold, with Her waiting for me to say something like, "Okay, so ... where were we?", followed by appropriate negotiations, and me .. asking for the return of my collar.
WELL!
She might be waiting for me, a wee bit longer than She anticipated.
I am quite simply NOT happy about "this", and I am NOT putting myself in a position for it to happen again.
I am even considering the following:
The next time She wants to play...
I get to direct the scene.
Not during, but I get to establish the set-up and parameters.
I have a number of scenes in my fantasy book that I want to realize, most of which She is aware of, and has given much lip service to saying, "Yeah, sure, sometime, we'll do that..."
IMHO, it's time to stop saying it, and start doing it.
No comments:
Post a Comment