Mar 26, 22, Sat

 Buddha had previously gone missing a few days, and just as mysteriously returned, but not looking good at all.

Merry took him to 24 hr vet hospital.

Vet said, it looked like he was hit by a car... internal injuries, and it was 'too late'.

RIP Buddha

My notes say, "potluck at BOD".  I don't know if Merry went.

04.26 Sunday Diary

Newsroom  S 2:4.
Merry called,  leaving BoD.
Then called, getting off the freeway near our house.
I got up, ..toilet...dressed... and went outside, to get in the car, to travel from our house to take HLB home, and return home with Merry.
We dropped HLB off, and She had me get in the driver's seat to back the car up the steep driveway and out..and I just kept driving from there, til we arrived home.
More Newsroom, most of season 2.
05:30 Pill.
06:00 sleep.

Awake on and off through the day.
11:30 pill
14:30 up.
Took some Tumz and Alka selter...
and Started vomiting,  and passed out for a minute on the bathroom floor.
With Sunshine's help, sent text to my work supervisor...that I wasn't gonna make it to work.

Sunshine started my laundry for me.
Pill, 19:00
Back to the bedroom..
Watching The Newsroom season 1... episodes 3 through 9..
 with dinner served, during.

Pill, around midnight.

HSLS  1374
HsLO  1530
HsMY fun 1375
HSHER F 887
HR UN  662
Her DO/HR S  N/886
D s l CI  151

04.25 Saturday Diary

More episodes of The Newsroom, through the night...
05:15... sleep
07:00 ish  Pill
.... up to pee
.... up to pee
... up to pee
18:00  UP 
  Coffee, somethin' to eat, read last Sunday's newspaper...
 Vomiting..
  Merry, getting ready...  
  She left, about 21:15.   
  We thought I would take Her ..and pick up HLB..and take them to a thing at the BoD, go to work driving for a bit, then pick them up again...but clearly, I was in no shape.
 So She was driving, and I/we stayed home.
 The Newsroom,  season 2, episode 1..2...3...

HSLS  1350
HsLO  1506
HSLF/me 1351
HSLF/Her  863
h UN  638
HER DO/HS  n/862
DSLC 150

Sunday 9.28 Diary

She told us that subMike had put forth some new hard limits:  no cum eating, no impact play, no tickling...
Her reaction:  so, nothing to play with him left, anymore.
She asked if I was ready....
I said, "Let's go outside and talk."

I told Her about this jealousy > anger I was feeling, though I still admitted, "I know you're coming home with me..."
I told Her,  this scene we're considering...might be better if we wait til we can video it for a clip for the clips4sale studio I hope to open.
I told Her, I still can't get the acid out of my stomach, that if I get on a bench,  I might 'lose it'.
She said, "Maybe ...in the morning."
I said, "Maybe."    Yeah, right.
We gathered the crew.  Kaimi asked if he could get it ride.
We said yes, if he wanted to sit in the cargo area.
First, we went to dinner or dessert.
Our favorite place was closed.... for some reason that got past us.
We went on to a Denny's.
Sunshine took over.  Very amusing.
Then...we returned to the house, to drop subMike off, to get into his car.... went on to South LB to drop HLB off, then on into Cyp. to drop Kaimi off.  Kaimi revealed, he has narcolepsy, and can't drive, so that led to an interesting discuss....
And we went back home.... arriving at 0430.
I just made to the toilet, before mybowels exploded...
And in bed,  0445.
Up around 0600,  pee and snack.
Back to bed.
She woke me up, 1215.
I offered Her a DO, She declined, saying Her stomach was 'off'.
It was ...no surprise ...too late to conduce a MerryThree....
She offered me, and I accepted, coffee and buttered toast.
I ate, surrounded by the dogs, while reading Saturday's paper.
Then I got up, and showered and dressed...and headed out to the car.
1333...
At office 1415, and rushed in to the toilet.
My coworker EJ had started on notes and stuff for the morning work, which was my job..he had just started it.
My head was not into it, and I told him to run with it.
Good thing; it was a prickly bear of a night. 
If he had been running the night, I would have had to constantly pause morning set up, to help him.

I went through our bank accounts and budget, and felt my stress level popping up through my head.
I read a wonderful story She wrote on Fet, about us, and felt a tear well up in my eye.
I spoke to Her on the phone, a bit after midnight, and said "I Love you," and "Goodnight."

HsLS 225
HsLO 326
HsLD 81
H UN 242
Her DO?  offered/declined

Saturday 9.27 Diary

AFter many trips to the toilet, while seemingly pooping out every iota of food that's passed my lips in the last month...
off work 1935.
She called me just as I was getting in the car, to go over the evening's plan.
 Did I mention previously, that I sent Her an email, with an idea I had for 'MerryThree' at the upcoming party?
 Have I mentioned that,  just about whenever we make plans, God seems to laugh at us, and say, "Oh yeah?"
Home about 2040.
I unloaded my car completely, planning on taking a total of five to the party.
Stitch met me, and told me, he was not going, and tallship was not going. 
SubMike arrived, as expected, as he was going to caravan to the party with us, and was shown in to wait, as Merry had gone to pick up HLB and bring him to the house, to go with us. 
I stripped, and showered, and squirted into my butt a couple shots from a bulb enema, until I was running clean, and dressed in my party wear, and was packing the toy bag, when She returned, with HLB.
I took our bag, and his, to the car, and figured we were ready. 
Since we had an extra seat, subMike rode with us.
We arrived oh ten-ish at the BoD, and went in, and She went looking for Kaimi, another new and young sub that we met at the last LICK munch, and found him sitting outside in the ring around the fire.
She brought him in, and introduced him to a spanking bench, in view of where HLB and I were sitting, and asked me to pull out three of the lightest paddles from the bag.
Well, I didn't bring any 'light' ones,  but I gave Her the least heavy ones. 
I watched..we watched...as She 'played' with Kaimi, which meant, beating his bottom, but lightly...
and as I related to HLB, I was feeling .... jealousy.
Why?
Logically, I was able to tell myself, it does not matter who She dances with at a party, because I KNOW She is coming home with me.
And yet... I felt the jealousy that was turning to anger.
Which is what happens with most of the negative feelings inside me.  
And my stomach hurt.  Lots of acid, no food all day.... 
I think, in part, the jealousy came from the Way She was playing with him.  Playful.  Gentle, almost.  
NOT the way She plays with me,  where the only gears She seems to have are "Hard"  "Harder" and "Hardest".
Finished with Kaimi,  She went on to play with subMike.
She plays with him in a whole different way.
It's not a way that evokes jealousy within me; I've seen it before at other parties...  BUT that She was playing with YET another one, did spark some bad feelings with me.
She finished with him, and come over to join us......

HsLS  201
HsLO  302
H un 218
Hsld  57
Her DO   yes  

8.03 Diary

 Ready for a second set, on the spanking bench in a corner of the big main room.
I picked out the riding crop, and She whipped my butt something fierce with it.
Then I got up, and She, while naked, mounted the bench, and I performed oral in between Her spread legs,  then She told me to get a glove...which I did, and finger fucked Her, until She whispered "Purple..."
She was ...zoning...and I helped Her to the bathroom....and brought Her back.
And She sat in a chair for awhile, just spaced.  
Stitch came over and sat with Her too.
She asked Stitch to take Her to the bathroom.
And returned.
Then, She said, She was about ready to go for ice cream.
I took the zombie killer out of the bag.
She said, "Okay...."
I mounted the bench, and She landed...I don't know how many ... swats of the zombie killer across my cheeks and onto the sit spot..   
Well, that was enough...
We dressed,  I re packed the toy bag, and we headed out.
And ended up at Crow's, visiting our favorite waiter...
Who told us, as we walked in,  No ice cream in the store.
So Stitch had pancakes and somethin, I had a some eggs and ham mix, She had a french dip, and tallship ate the french fries that came with Hers....
Sunshine came out, a bit annoyed about not getting ice cream...
And we went on home.
We headed for our respective beds: I took selfies first.

I provided Her with 'DO' and .... sex... and we went to sleep around 4.
I was up around 0600..and so was Stitch, feeding animals, doing dishes....
And I was stuck in the bathroom, somewhat constipated...
Finally back to bed, and She let me sleep until  ...11:30.
Up, drinking coffee...
I was critical of the way She planned the card-draw-for-a-treat, on a Saturday morning, when a full week was not over, if the week is to run from Sun to Saturday.
It's like,  getting paid for  a day of work that I haven't done yet.
In some annoyance, She said, "You should have said something about it..before you signed the agreement. Now, if you want to change it, go ahead and write up any changes you want, and I'll sign off on it."
I said, "I will not be writing up any changes.  Nor will I ever mention this again. I've said what I have to say, that I don't see the logic, and I am done talking about it."
 What I did not actually say at the time  was "Nor do I have any intention of every drawing a card on a Saturday, under these conditions."
Then ...laundry.
There was stuff STILL in the dryer...that I had announced, the previous day,  "I've put some of your laundry through the wash, now I've put it in the dryer,  and maybe one of you could take the initiative of getting it out when it's done."
They did not, and I let it be known in a loud voice, my displeasure.
She asked (told...) me to follow Her to the garage.
No place to sit in there, so She told me to kneel.
 So, She said, She could speak (lecture) to me without craning Her neck looking UP at me.
And She expressed Her displeasure about my general attitude this morning.
And told me to get over it.
We went back into the house, and I started getting ready to go to work, starting with a shower.
From the bathroom ...shower..window, anybody in this case, I, can see the laundry area, and I saw Stitch looking into the washing machine... and I panicked because bad things happen when Stitch does 'helpful things'.  I asked Merry to go see what he was up to.
I was drying off when I heard VERY loud voices ...
Then She came in the bathroom, an awful look on Her face....
And She started crying because ...during the argument, She had slapped him, and She had never done that before.
I sat Her down, so I could finish dressing,  then I found Stitch,  told him that SHE was sorry, that this was in some part my fault, She was under stress already from the discussion that She and I had...  etc.
He went to where She said, and knelt down, and they hugged and talked....
I headed out,  around 1400.... and arrived around 1455.

Trying to do set up, while helping the rookies with the Lead aspects, on a night made a little bit frantic because of a JayZ concert at the R

At least it took my mind off....for awhile.... my anger.
I KNOW I am angry about ...  the way She spoke to me, and how She spoke to me.
At the time, I really wanted to ...  reach out, put my hands around Her neck and say, slowly and quietly, "You do not talk to me this way.  Not now, not ever.  This is your only warning."
I resisted the temptation, THAT time.
Will I be able to,  each and every time?

HsLS  20
HsLO  519
HsLD  22
H UN  516
Her DO?  yes





Submale Spanked & Lectured

Two women punish this weak and erring submale.                              One spanks him with the paddle while the other woman lectures him.

Both women proceed at a measured pace. There is no reason to rush in the punishment of a submissive man. Disciplinary corporal punishment should be slow and methodical.                               The goal of disciplining a malesub with a spanking is never to need to spank him again. Of course, male weakness leaves this only an ideal goal. By fusing words with the painful strokes the women hope to diminish the frequency with which this submissive man needs to be punished.

03.29 Diary

09:30  up...and pills and something to eat and coffee...  then sitting around, then a shower and body shave.
The She gathered up Momma Kukla and her two young 'uns into a carrier, and we went off to a vet, to have them checked out.
We returned an hour or so later...
And She wanted to get Her Daily Orgasm, and I obliged Her.
And I asked, rather than me going on Her errands, including W's house, maybe the PO, maybe a Coal's, that She take Stitch as I had a number of household chores to do, and She agreed.
I started with weekly reading from The Science of Mind...
And listened to Her get into a yelling match with Stitch, having to do with Stitch throwing stuff away, from the top of Her desk,  which he had no right to be throwing away.... and as a result of that, he did not go with Her, and She set off alone.
I continued...  by bringing Her dry laundry in, and folding it up and putting it away... and putting Her second load in to wash (but I used the wrong detergent...)
I did more measurements ...the bathroom and garage...for the charts I've been making...
And felt another earthquake roll through,  4.5 I heard later...
I started to doze in my easy chair, and Stitch woke me up to say he "just found out" that he needs to get to an ATM for cash for Her son that was coming over, who needed it for automotive repair.
Funny thing, She called me about this, two hours prior, so how is it he "just found out"?
No matter, now, I got up, and we went to my car, and drove down to where His bank and mine sit, 1/4 of a block apart.  His bank has a stand alone branch up along the main street, and has another branch inside the supermarket, some 200 yards offset from the street.
I pulled up to my bank, and told him, "I'll do my thing here, and you walk on down there, and I'll pick you up there."
"Okay..."
Getting out, I watched him heading down the side of the building, heading for the supermarket.
I yelled at him, and pointed at the main branch.
He walked back, walked around the front of whatever building it was, and started heading for the supermarket, and I ran after him, saying, "Go to the main branch over there PLEASE."
He finally got it, and went to the main branch.
I went to my ATM, got in my car, and went down and picked him up when he was done, and headed home.
I fixed the number sign on the outside of our house that continues to fall down and off.
I updated my calendar...  got online and updated my bank account, pay some bills, looked at my budget,  sending my stress level to a new high....
And went out to the garage to start counting comics.
I hope to sell them someday (soon)  and I've given up on an actual inventory, but I want to at least 'count them' so I know how many I have, when I get around to advertising them for sale.
She came home....and asked me to come inside for a fashion show.
I did, and She called for Stitch to join us, who took his sweet time doing so, like he does whenever She asks him to , and it's getting really fucking annoying to me...
And She showed us the bras She bought....and black ruffle panties ...and a couple of dresses....

Then I returned to the garage, to count more comics.
Totally bored by it, I went back into the house.
She asked me about the laundry.... it was on the 2nd rinse.
She is hyper sensitive to laundry detergent on Her clothes, and always is thorough when washing to make sure the soap is rinsed out.
She started on dinner...
I went through a stack of mail order catalogs.
My little dog Cookie was outside, and apparently, had not gotten the hang of the doggie doors that I had cut into the lower half of the screen door, so we spent some time in the kitchen, with Cookie on the outside, trying to get her to get the hang of it.
Then dinner....they had chicken and rice and broccoli, I had a cup of chicken soup, and raw carrots and celery with dip.  I try to eat light, before going to a party....
And ..waited for Her laundry in the washer, now on its 3rd or 4th rinse.
And we napped in our easy chairs.
She finally put the clothes She wanted right away in the dryer, and we started getting ready, with showers, and getting dressed,  and me packing the toy bag.
She was ready, and when I had the last thing packed, everything but ear plugs.....  I said, "Show time!"
She yelled,  "You hear that, Stitch, it's show time!"
From the bedroom, came the words, "Yeah...so?"
Oh, I was pissed.  He knew damn well what it meant. "IT'S TIME TO GO!"
She added with a yell, "You going or not, we're leaving!"
He came stumbling out, and we went to my car.
And off we went to the party at the BoD, arriving...
I'm honestly not sure.   10:30? 11..ish?

We arrived, I spotted a parking place directly across the street from the main driveway entrance.... which would take some careful parallel parking to get into.....
 Which resulted in, me tapping the rear end of the car in front of me, several times.
I paid... five bucks a person, quite the bargain...we entered....
and OMG  the noise and confusion....
Well, not confusion, really...everybody seemed like they knew what they were doing...but so many of them...
And music that is NOT music to my 57-year-old ears.
We stood for a minute, looking over the frolicking in the main room, and She said, 'I'm going outside, people I need to talk to."
Now, She did not say, "Stay here." or "Come with me." or "Want to come with me?"
She just went, without waiting for a response, and I  stood there.
Listening to the LOUD noise that passed for music......  getting jostled by people walking by me where I stood....  feeling alone.... like I did, when I attended these things alone...
And 'it' came on, fast and hard....  total panic...I had to get out.
I tried to get my car keys out of the toy bag, getting jostled three times while I did so.
I walked outside, thought about going to the car,  decided to find a place to sit ...in the driveway, under some light so She could see me, and plopped down in folded-leg position, and started meditating.

She found me...said She had been looking for me for fifteen minutes.... even called me (I looked at my phone, buried in my pants pocket, one missed call, one vcml ... from Her).
She knew what was up with me, She understood about my panic attacks.
It had been a while since my last one....
I told Her, I just wanted to go sit in the car, and get my peace back.
She said, okay, She would send Stitch out to check on me, in awhile.

I went to the car...
After 30 or 40 minutes, Stitch came out...I said, "I'm okay, but I'm not ready to come in."
He nodded, and went back in.....

HsLO  110
HsLS  11
Her DO?  Yes
HsLD  37 1/2
D UN  95

Thought for the Day:
 "I believe that the divine intelligence which is the Mind of God is guiding and directing my thoughts and acts.  I believe that God already knows the answer to this particular probelm; therefore I let go of it and listen to the answer."

From My Manifesto:
I may be required to perform fellatio,  on inanimate objects or living flesh. 

03.02 Diary

She had written all over my body in Sharpie,  "Liar Liar  I lied to my Mistress about smoking"  ..

And during my time on this vinyl covered bench, the ink had set into the bench itself.
We tried to get it off with alcohol and the like, to no avail.
She went and fetched the club owner to show him, and he said, "Oh no big deal, don't worry about it."

She asked if I was ready for another session, and I said, "Yeah..but not quite so intense..."

Over the bench I went, with my hoodie underneath me.
She started with twenty of a wooden spoon, which I hardly felt...
Then switched to a riding crop,  neatly across my buttocks.... then had me stand up against a cross, and laid twenty smacks of it across the front of my thighs, which I really felt.

Then She sat in a chair, and had me kneel, and give Her oral service between Her spread thighs.

We decided that was enough fun,  and headed out.
We stopped at the restaurant for coffee and ice cream, and went on home.
I unpacked the bags....and we all went to bed, around 0200.

Up around 10:00...
And we had some quick sex.... 
Then we took some picks of my butt "the morning after"

In the kitchen, She was making orange rolls.... and I noticed a package that must have come in the day before... In it was a Wooden Hairbrush.
She had me bend over in the kitchen, and gave me ten or so smacks on each cheek with it.
I used to say, that hairbrushes have no effect on me.
I guess that's because of the material of the hairbrushes we own.
This wooden hairbrush had a definite effect.

 Then I had to start getting stuff done... shower, dress, other stuff, to go to work.
It was going to be a busy night at work, due to the award show, and the stress on me was showing.
She could tell.
I asked for stress relief.
She said, "Sex, masturbate?"
I said, "No time..... "
"Oh, okay... "
She fetched the zombie-beater, and I dropped my pants and shorts, and bent over a table.
She applied twenty hard smacks square across my cheeks, then another twenty on each cheek.

My stress somewhat relieved, I headed for work.

Two c on the way....
Two c from  arrival to midnight

Busy afternoon leading up to showtime.
Then nothing, for a few hours.
Then, all hell broke loose around 2300.....
Very grateful that my manager came back in, and worked with me from  2330 to 0230.
I didn't ask him to, but he said, "I know how it is on show nights."

Since we really didn't have time..... She and I agreed that this was a black out day, in terms of my daily 'under punishment'.

HslO  134 1/2
HsLS   13
HSLB   10
Day UN  68
Days under punishment   5 / 9  

03.01 Diary

Up 0900 or 1000... and after pills and breakfast,
Sex and intercourse..... 
Then I dressed, and went off the TH for Moonburn,  first one I was going to in many months....in pouring rain.
Which was a bust.   I said 'hello' to Dv, my Top from  March '13, and to Mark, whose house I attended a foursome party in April of '13, but otherwise, there was nobody I knew...so I sat around, looking at FL and emails on my phone,   then left there, around 1530.

Home...and she was Little-S, and had just returned from the market.
I showered, after Stitch got out,  and dressed, and she did the same.....
And we got in my car around 1800, heading for a presentation on Poly, back at TH.
She changed from casual clothes to dungeon-wear in the back seat of my car.   And realized she didn't bring the panties that she had borrowed from me to wear, and all she had was a 'diaper'  (actually, adult incontinence briefs) or the tighty-pinkies she often wears..... she wound up, going commando.

We arrived at TH early...sat through the presentation from 1905 to 2105, and generally agreed, it was a waste of 2 hours and $30.

Then we headed to RM....   where we had dinner at our favorite restaurant there, then headed to the party at the BoD, arriving around 2230.

She decided I would serve my daily corner time here....and had me strip naked, crawl into a cage, and sit in the corner of a cage for twenty minutes.

Afterwards, we moved into a side room, the only one where our preferred types of spanking benches were available,   and I mounted the bench.

She asked me to pick a number between one and ten.
She did not say "a whole number"  so I said,  "3.14159."

She vigorously applied a small church paddle to my buttocks.... and said, "THAT was the point 14159."

Then She switched to a bath brush, and had me count out, twenty hard smacks to each buttock.

Then She used what I'm calling the zombie-beater, a lighter cousin of a much heavier paddle of the same length and about the same width, and had me count out twenty smacks on each cheek.

Then She used the zombie-killer,and had me count out twenty smacks on each side.

As I told Her when She asked, how close was I to crying, I said, "from one to ten, about 8."

My nose was filled with snot....

HSLO  110 1/2
HsLS    12
HSLB   0
Day UN  67
Day under punishment  5 / 8
Times with dirty slut   4

01.01 Diary

Shortly after midnight, we began looking around for a 'play station', and and found one, in a smaller adjoining room,  essentially a box to kneel on, with a higher box, to put one's chest flat on, and a stockade behind it, if one wanted to put one neck and wrist in between the boards, then have the boards locked together, but that was not Her desire.
I stripped bare, and knelt on the low box, put my chest on the upper box...and waited.

She started with the zombie-killer paddle, and very quickly drew blood from the weakened spots on my buttocks, from Christmas Day.
After short negotiations, She decided to continue with the tawse on my back, and cane strokes down my thighs.
Well, owch, and more owch, and actually resulted in the breaking of ..what I thought was...my good long cane.  Ah well.

I dressed, we lurked about a bit more....and departed.
Back to Denny's for dessert, then home....   and sound asleep  03:30.

Up 0930, chores etc....
Back in bed with Her and ...some WMS!....  actually two sets, as I took a break after the first, before being ready for a second go round.....
AND She conked out, flat asleep for over an hour.
She woke up, starting moving around, and we went out for errands: a bank deposit, grocery shopping, gas in my car....then home, as She continued working on NYD dinner.....ham with black eyed peas.
No hot water.....and I started looking into that, come to find out, that there have been ongoing problems with getting the pilot light on this water heater to stay on...so I fixed that, I thought.
I continued getting ready for work.....She had a bowl of the stew ready for me,  we said, good bye, and off I went.
Wednesday night is my joint night with the other/new overnight guy, so I did a whole lot of nothing for several hours, and after eating my dinner around 23:30, went and slept in my car for some 5 1/2 hours....

Hr SLO  439 1/2
Hr s L S   12
HR s L D  23
Hr UN 189

12.31 Diary

Home...from work.
Chores, shower, in bed with Her  810, up 950...breakfast, etc...
Sleep 1100 while She went to work.
She got home 1400...
I got up 1700, and we all started getting ready.
What with one thing and another, we didn't leave the house until 2130, stopped at a Denny's, and arrived at the BoD around 2300...  and watched the activities for awhile...
Until the 10 second countdown to midnight....when we gathered, hugged, and kissed in the New Year.

HSLO  415 1/2
HSLS   135
HSLD  159
HR un 165

DECEMBER
# of 'D' Sessions-home 20
                           party   1
# of times for sex    14
# of O for me            1
# of 'punishments'       1
# of hours 'locked'     127