7.15 Diary

Just before I left the office, she sent me an email in response to my response to her comment on my journal... first thing She wrote was, She 'wanted me to reply on the blog itself.
  I went nearly ballistic.   I am not a mind reader, and She is constantly asking for this or that...  but when I do this or that,  She says,  "I wanted the blue this nor this red one, and I wanted the yellow that, not the green one."
H BAR!
So, in car 0700, and home about 0747.
And trading texts or emails while I'm trying to get inside the door.
Began to feed the animals, and observed we were down to one can of cat food.
Which means, when Stitch fed the cats last night, he must have noticed that, and ... not mentioned it to anybody.   
  New rule I made on the spot:  Stitch doesn't feed the cats (in the evening) anymore.  I will do it.  
Skipped morning shower, but did undress, and joined Her in Her bedroom.   We cuddled and talked for a bit.  
 I was ready to go get  B*L*D then paused, and pulled down the tighty pinkies from Her waist, and gave Her oral service and D.O. 
I didn't think 'anything' would come of it, feeling too tired to get aroused...but...I did get aroused enough and took off my briefs,  and She spread Her legs, and I got on top of Her, and  as She calls it, we 
 had sex.
 No happy ending for me,  I really just wanted to go pee.
Once Her moaning died down, I got off Her.  She stripped the soaked sheets off the bed. I went into the kitchen, and put together pastrami sandwiches on white bread-toast. 
I ate and read the paper, then excused myself..and went into my bedroom...
And got thoroughly immersed in a notebook-updating project while listening to Her and Sherman, bantering in the other room.

Asleep around noon....
Half awake around 1300...
Up 1600 for P and to eat the last eclair...
then UP 1715.
S&D&D  and fed the cats.   
Packed up, and in HER car,  with Stitch, around 1830,
and at work around 1930.

Where our primary  dispatch program was not working properly.
Which mean,the volume of phone and two way radio traffic that I had to deal with, was increased by a multiple of 4.
And continued to not function all night...and into the morning, as I write this.

What is my fucking problem?
I am so ...disgruntled....    about everything.  
Many times, lately, I've been sitting at work, and thinking,  "Why the fuck am I here?"   <at this job, I was thinking...>   
And I've been so ...short tempered with Merry. 
She tries SO hard to be sweet and loving to me, but ...so often, the slightest damn thing, and my blood boils and I'm shouting, or nearly so.   
Wonder if a physical attitude adjustment would help?

Or, is THAT the problem rather than the cure ?

Yes, I love spanking ... or, rather, being.....
I love chocolate too, but wiping out a one lb box of See's Candies in one sitting does not make me feel very good.
And the kind of spankings She gives me often come under the heading of "too much".

HsLS 15
hsLO 69
HsLD  71
H un 70
Her DO  yes

Days since last cigarette ....  41 + 21 hours 


from Corporal Punishment: over mother's knee

I have spent time over both my parents knees. My father would change to more appropriate over-his-desk punishments when I became ten, but my mother did continue over the knee spankings for some time. It is those smackings I will write about now.

I remember those moments well:  looking (sometimes through a cloud of tears) at the carpet, head hanging down; a pair of legs on the other side, sometimes hanging down, sometimes fidgeting a little. One arm probably stretched out forward, the other secured by mother's firm grip on my back. The highest point of the body: the bottom, just ready for discipline. Bare or covered with knickers, always the feeling of cool air touching the (almost) unclothed part, that is now to receive warmth.

And then… WHAM. The slipper strikes. Left cheek. Heat spreads. WHAM, right cheek. My face flushes even more, as does – so I suppose -  my bottom. And then the smacks rain down. Until I am sobbing, crying, promising to be a good girl now. And honestly feeling that, too.

Those were the days, then. Over the knee smackings are not so formal, they allow a parent for caring discipline. Oh, you didn’t enjoy being over your mothers lap, I can tell you. But if you went there, you knew it was well deserved. No matter if you were 4 or 14, mother would do what was needed…

Make Your Spanking Bench Uncomfortable

Comfortable, padding spanking benches are a waste of money.

Errant submissive man or male slave needs the discipline of corporal punishment. The submale does not need comfort.

Let the male spankee’s skin chafe and rub against rough surfaces. Make it unequivocal and clear that he is being punished. Don’t coddle him..  Tie him tightly in place, allow suspense to build up and then spank and whip him until the lessons of submission and obedience are beaten into him.

7.13 Happy Birthday, Beloved Merry!

Merry was still playing with "Mike" ...  I found a couch I could sit and lean back on, and a loose chair to put up my feet.....ready to take a nap.  I DID bring earplugs so most of the din and cacophony was muffled.
I watched unattached Dommes walking around, not busy, glancing at me, and looking straight through me.

I'm in a pool of six guys, from which a five-man basketball team is being chosen.   Guess what happens to me?
I do not like parties, for this reason.

I was ONE minute....  just sixty seconds..away from getting up, getting dressed, and telling Merry to take Her time,  that I would be sleeping in the car, ready to go whenever She was.

Then L.K. came rushing up to me, or so it seemed.
"Shilo, does your Mistress allow you to play with others?"
"Well, yes......"   Kind of odd question, but correct in formality, and LK has never seen me play with another, when Merry was 'in the house'...
"I've got a Domme who is looking for a heavy masochist.... would you like to meet her?"
"Yeah..sure..."
In the other Large Room, she was sitting...and had been for a long part of the evening.

Her name was MistressT;  she was short (relative to me), heavy,  black..
We prenegotiated  (no face slapping, or cock n ball hits..)
Then we found an open station, a St Andrews cross  (that Merry had just finished up with, with Mike....)

I leaned up against, facing the cross... and she went to work  on my, on my buttocks and on my back.

She finally got me to cry out, after 20 minutes of intensive therapy to my sunburned back, and hits too high on my thighs...on my lower back, and plenty of wrapping.....

Merry told me later, that the Dungeon Monitor tried to stop it, but L.K. stopped him, saying that Merry was watching, Merry would stop it if she saw fit.
She did see fit, and Merry went to MistressT and ..stopped it.
And came up behind me, offering water...
And my knees gave way, and I crumpled to the floor.
Merry just ...held me... until I had the strength to get up....  and get dressed.
We departed.
Not far from home, we stopped out for a soda to take home.
Home....we took a shower together, then sat down for  dessert of frozen eclair and soda...
On into the bedroom...
Where much to our surprise,  Sherman's dog, Beaux, came in , hopped up on the bed, and got comfortable on one of my pillows.
She was ready after very little foreplay....   and told me to cut the plastic lock, and take of the silicon chastity device that my penis had been cage in, since last Sunday...
A little bit of manipulation and stroking the head of my penis against and inside Her wet kitkat  got it hard and erect, and I plunged forward...
She calls this, "having sex."
Well, THIS was FUCKING.
And it was good.
 During the act, I had a vision, a fantasy in my head of:
  A woman finds a stash of porno magazines, belong to her husband or son or nephew or... I'm not clear on the relation.  The magazines are titles like Corporal, Ma'am, DWC...   basically, Fem Dom punishment and spanking.    She gets hold of the male in question, says, "Let's see how you like this for real" and has him naked, and over her lap,  whapping his bottom long and hard with hairbrush/paddle.
  And I ... came.
Then I had to clean up,  going down between her legs, and sucking her juice and my cum out of her.
   and to sleep 0300.

I was awake, for P&S, when Sherman walked in, around 0410.
I got the use of my pillow back.

0900 or so, up.
Cinnamon toast and coffee.    New contact lenses in. Almost lost one in the bathroom sink.
She was at Her computer, I was at my laptop(s).  Sherman was reading something from his smartphone.
She heard Stitch, in the other room, making plans to go meet his ex-girlfriend.
She called him into the room.  "Don't you know today is my birthday?"
"I thought that was yesterday."

Oh, FFS.
 I yelled out, "Do you know how to read a calendar?:  but he didn't answer.
He is a really nice guy, and means well in all the dumb shit he does on a daily basis.
I've started putting up signs around the house.
"Leave this washrag alone."
"Do NOT turn this fan off."
I'm sure I'll be putting up more signs.
Somewhere, outside of Chicago, there's a village,  taking up a collection each day,  trying to raise the money to get their idiot to come home.

At my suggestion, Merry agreed to a communal birthday spanking...   18 bare handed smacks on Her ample, gorgeous, lush buttocks from the three of us.
She wanted to be on the spanking bench, so I dragged it out to the center of the living room floor, and fetched the video camera....
She started with a monologue about how She is the Dominant in the house, and that She was allowing this to happen....
I said, "Okay that was a rehearsal, now I'm going to push the 'record' button...."

I recorded while Sherman got the first 18 or 19 smacks.
Sherman recorded while Stitch delivered 20 or so left handed smacks (and I was washing my hands).
And Sherman held the camera while I delivered exactly 18 smacks.
Her cheeks grew a lovely shade of red... then she sat up, and talked a bit to the camera...and it was finished.

I uploaded the video from camera to laptop.... converted it to WMV... then uploaded it onto Her profile on FL.

She fell asleep for a nap, in Her easy chair (now Sherman's bed, for the most part)....
Time for me to get moving, so I got up and showered/dried/dressed.
Poured two big travel mugs of tea, and packed bags.
She had asked me to bring to Her some wipes.
I brought Her a pouch of them, that were in an airlocked baggie.
"I wanted them in a plastic box..."
OH, for fuck's sake!
What the FUCK is the difference?
These wipe just as well, do they not?
Or maybe the color is wrong?
Or I should have put them on your left side, and not your right side?
Hey Zeus  Aaych Bar  Ker RICED.

Out to the car and rolling 1410
At the office 1500.
In the boss's office, doing next day's set up.
Exchanging emails with the boss, towards the goal, of getting off for some hours next Sunday.
But, couldn't make it happen.

Moved into the main office when Sammy left, 1930, which meant sitting in the same room with the newest kid in the room,  The Motor Mouth Kid.
But, earlier in the week, May said, that She had warned him about just... talking to me...    and he seems to have learned something from it.
Most of his conversation was work related, and not  blah blah blah banter.
Hmmm.

HsLS  21
HsLO  21
HsLD 23
H LOCK 164  then
UNlocked  22
Her DO   YES

from How to Get the Spanking You Want
Step 4: Talk briefly about what happened...
 It's usually not a good idea to de brief about a spanking immediately afterwards, but if the whole thing falls apart before it's over, you'd be wise to talk at least a little about what happened sooner rather than later.  Talking about it as soon as possible will help alleviate any fears about what happened and avoid each of you stewing in your own fear and guilt abut having 'caused' the problem. So once you are both calm and out of the 'spanking space', consider talking briefly about what went wrong for you.  But when you do, remember, now is not the time to criticize or blame either her/him or you for whatever went wrong.                                                                                  cont'd

from Corporal Punishment: Over mother's knees
Most people I know who were subject to spanking while growing up do remember being put over their parent's knees. This position is so widely known that it is, and I believe not only in Germany, almost a synonym for spanking, as in "I will put you over my knee".  If there is a classical position when administering such forms of discipline, this is it                                                 cont'd

Submale Spanked Until He Cries

If a sub-male looks content or indifferent during a spanking it is a sure sign that he needs a very harsh and very prolonged punishment. The male needs to be spanked until he has shed many tears of repentance.