SEPTEMBER 19TH TUESDAY DIARY

OTC 0030 to 536
W  Vice Principals, Episodes,  Curb Your Enthusiasm 1:1,2
Car 5;44 home 6:27
Fed animals.
MDM cubed pork and cole slaw, 2 pills
Went in bedroom, saw that Merry was awake
Sat on couch, watching TRMS ...
Felt the stirring of an erection.
I just don't like bothering Merry if she is sleeping, but I knew she was awake, so I went in the bedroom, and .. lay down.
We talked a few minutes, as I lay there.
She asked, "So..what's wrong?"
"Well, I had an erection when I came here, and it...went away."
"Oh," she said, "maybe I can help..."
She helped...with her hand, and it came back.
She pulled off her panties, and got on her back...I knelt between her legs, to give her oral and get her wet...
Then she said, "Get up here!"
I got up there, and mounted her....
She was moaning a bit...and told me later, it was from a developing leg cramp.
I came ...rather quickly, at least for me....
I knelt between her legs, and cleaned her up.
We talked a bit,  and I went to sleep

Up a few times to p
Up 1630
Showered dressed  packed
Car  17;23
Stopped for gas
Office  18:58

In, because I forgot to clock in right away 19:18
Denny was here with Andre.
Quiet night, under control
Denny left 21:30 ish
Andre at 23:30 on the dot.

Reminds me of a video we made:

Wednesday March 1 Diary ( Sex, two spankings)

On the clock  00;29  to 0552
Out 554, home 6:31
I knew Merry was awake, I saw her writing on Fet.
Fed the animals, Fixed the bed.
She asked, "wanna spanking?"
I said, "I was thinking about sex."
Well...
She got up; we fixed the bed.
Got mostly naked, and under covers. Still cold in the bedroom.
We cuddled.
She yanked on my penis, until it was hard-ish.
I went down, and gave her some oral to warm her up,  then I mounted her.
We went at it a few minutes.  I lost the erection, we stopped.
We lay together, cuddling. I continued self-stroking, til I was hard-ish again, and mounted her.
This time, after a few minutes, I climaxed.
I cleaned her up. She had squirted a bit.
She got up to pee. I got up to start heating up water for her morning tea.
Back in the bedroom, I was ready for my first post-cum spanking.
35 smacks with some paddle.
After another 15 or so, my butt went numb.
Later, she chastized me for not telling her about that.
She continued with another 20 with that paddle.
Then added 35 smacks of two other paddles.
Took pix, got up, MDM chili and Fritos
Watched TRMS-Tuesday,  which was the Presidential address to Congress
Sleep 0900
Awake  1530, 1600 etc
17:30 up.
Pill, alka seltzer, 
Toilet
Showered dressed in socks, a-shirt, panties...
To the bedroom, panties off, FDAU
20 with paddle, 20 with tawse, 20 with other paddle, 20 with other paddle, 20 with delrin cane, then Diaper position, 20 with delrin cane.
Pix
Dressed.... beverages
Kissed her good bye
Car 18:31
Work 19:25
In 19:28 to 23:58

My bottom is STILL sore.

AM

PM

24 February, Wednesday Diary, (122)

Even with my helper, this was a nasty night.
 Odd reservations calls... 
NY dispatch was non-op, due to lack of internet...
 Our morning, generally fucked up because of this account we have with Edison....
 ...just,  grr. 
Managed to watch "The Newsroom"  1:10, and 2:1, and really didn't watch much of either.
Called Merry 0700ish...  
She got up to her ass in alligators in traffic.
Out 8:59
Merry arrived and in car 9:19
Home 10:08
Fed cats...scooped...
MDM  Chickn n cheese a dillas...and chips.
Watched TRMS (Tues).
We had  ...intercourse.
I came.  Later, she told me, she did not . Very unusual.
Sleep   11:30 to 14:00
She left to take Babyman to an appointment at CoH.
Awake to pee
Sleep 14:30 to 18:00
She brought Babyman back to house, then left to pick up HLB, take him to a Munch in Pasadena...take him back home, then return home
I watched TRMS...
 Fumbled around for half an hour.
Went back to sleep   19;30.







I spent a year in London.  I couldn't find this t-shirt.

I'll add this here, ONLY because Merry is familiar with the artist:

16 February Tuesday Diary (114)

at work:
Rather calm and quiet considered the Grammy's just finished.
First major event/show I've worked the overnight shift on one of the following did NOT happen:
 1. SOme client at some party could not find their driver, or the driver wouldn't answer his phone ...
  2.  Some driver lost his client, had not contact with 'em for hours, did not know what to do.
SO
  watched The NewsRoom  2: 1,2, 7, 8.
Called Merry, 5:20 or so
Morning hell was breaking loose. We had to farm multiple rides, and every farm job generates more phone calls and multiplies the ways for things to go wrong.
So I was not altogether ready to go when She arrived for me.
6:23 out.
6:28 in car,   7:12 home.
Fed the animals....
MDM:  3 pieces o' chicken: thighs; 4 warmed and buttered tortillas, chips.
We watched TRMS from Monday...  as She dozed off.
It ended, I tried to sleep also.  
I acquired one of those spontaneous erections,  the kind that occur without physical or mental stimulation on my part.
She happened to reach over with Her left hand...and 'found' it.
So, we got busy.  
After removal of unnecessary clothing,  She got on me, female superior. I lay still, the way She prefers me to in this position,  and She humped herself.  In a few minutes,  I took Her left breast in my mouth, while squeezing her right breast in my left hand.
She moaned in numerous climaxes, then rolled over for me to get on top.
And pulled down a towel to put under Her buttocks to keep the bed from getting TOO wet.
We got busy.
We, um, both 'got off'.

I tried to go to sleep.
She got up, got herself ready, got Babyman to get up, as he had an 11:00 apptment at H-Kaiser.
They left....
I closed my eyes but my monkey mind would not shut up.
I think I was drifting, when I heard a text on my phone,  one which Merry had sent me, and later said, She did not 'mean' to press 'send'.
...Got up to pee.
I think I got to sleep, just before noon.

Alarm 17:30.
I thought about stalling to 18:00, and then thought, "what's the point."   84 degrees in the bedroom.
I went to the other bedroom, found Her stretched out.  
"Um, whatcha doing?"
"Too hot in the other bedroom," She said.
    Valid point.
Showered, dressed.....
Just two of us went to the car...
  After dropping me, She was going to a Munch to meet up with HLB, among others, and give HLB a ride home at the end of it.
18:10 in car
19:13 at work
19:17 'in'.

Working, mostly, through the night.  
Babysitting the late rides. 
Not much to do for tomorrow, only 79 rides.



Here's today's  "WORD!"

14 February, Sunday Diary (112)

01:30 up to pee, get some chocolate squares...
04:45 awake, trying to go back to sleep, not doing it very well.
I was snuggling up to Merry.  She was topless, with red stretch panties. 
I pulled her left hand back to my crotch to let her know what was happening there.
She turned over, and uh, went down on it briefly, then lay back flat, and I got up and took hers down, and licked briefly between her legs...that's all she allowed, before pulling me up, in a hurry.
I pulled my briefs down, off one leg and mounted her.
The ol in out in out lasted...  10 minutes?  15...?
And I heard her moans of ...pleasure and climax, then had my own.
I got off her, and she jumped up to go sit on the porto potty.

Sleep was still not happening, so we got coffee.
And watched "The Newsroom  1:3, 4, 5."
Took some alka seltzer.
She made french toast for the other two, cinnamon gluten-free toast for me.
I tried to go back to sleep 1145.
Got up 1215,  to throw up and poop.
Stomach kinda settled, kinda dozed until 13:45.
And up...   toilet a few more times...showered, dressed... made coffee to go...

Car with Merry and Babyman,  1:30
At work 15:30,  'in' 15:36.

Not muchuva Sunday,  88 rides,  but 15 of them on the PM side devoted to Clive Davis' annual Grammy party.
117 Rides for Monday, some 20 going to the Grammy's.

It's so hard to get good help.
Concierge at the one major hotel we do work for called, at 1845, asking,"Can we get a car and driver at  2045?'
'Sure,' and I connected her to a res agent.
The order appeared on my screen for 20:00.
Surprised, I called her back.  "8 o'clock?"
"No,' she said, "8:45".
"Okay," I said, and fixed it, cursing at the idiot under my breath.

Ooh. Found this on Tumblr.  

9.17 Thursday Day

03:30  up...
05:30  up...
08:00  up...  
Cleaned out the kitchen trash can
Scooped the back yard...
Emptied the dishwasher...
Made coffee...
And sat down with phone...looking at email, through tv guide..
She came out of the bedroom...we talked..
And prepped for filming in BR2.
We shot two clips of "Second Wedding Anniversary" with me first FDAU, then in diaper position.
Then She allowed me to unlock, and we showered together.\
I started the download of the videos to the Dropbox, then the conversion from HD to mp4...
And we went into BR2 and  .... 
  engaged in oral, her on me,  then Female Superior sex, then oral for Her,  then missionary sex...  then She said something, don't remember now, that got stuck in my head and I lost the erection.  
We took a break. She went to sleep, but in a few minutes, my erection returned, and I woke Her up, and we resumed missionary, resulting in an O for me.
I cleaned Her up, orally...
And we got up....  
I put the clips in the basic form on our C4S site, leaving it up to Her to add descriptors.
She brought in the mail 
 and WOO HOO the check from Dad arrived.  I mentally breathed a huge sigh of relief.
More mail arrived, including a big box, which was the swamp cooler I had ordered at least 60 months prior, which brought Sunshine out, excited to see 'presents'!
And we dressed to 'run' to the bank.   
Sunshine had me take the 'long way' so she could 'check in' at some places on some game on her phone she was playing.
We went to WF inside Vons, got $200 cash and the balance of the check on a three day hold,  deposited $160 cash in another account, and returned home, to pick up Stitch...
Then went for a drive, first to get some gas in my car, then on to Golden Corral, a rare treat but a celebration, late for our anniversary, and because of the arrival of the money.
Home... overstuffed...
I sat in my chair a bit, til I could not stand it anymore, excused myself, and in bed   ... 21:30.

9.03 Thursday Diary

...and watched "The Newsroom"
She asked about giving me a spanking, I said, "seems kinda late" ... so She said, "How about spanking me?"
So, over my lap She went, and I smacked Her bare buttocks with my hand... not hard, no so light that She wouldn't feel it, but enough so that She wouldn't call quits too quickly... 
Then She did call quits...
Rolled onto Her back,  and I gave Her oral intercourse, and we had sex, and I gave Her more oral... until She passed out, was snoring.
I helped Her get Her mask on, and got Her to sleep... 0400.
I tried to sleep, nothing doing.
The plan was for Her to take Stitch to work this morning, rather than have him ride his bike...
But since She was finally asleep and I was not, I got up around 0600,  got myself ready while he was getting ready, and off we went.
And back home, 0700.  
I let Donna out, and fed the dogs.
Back to the bedroom, tried to sleep, and we talked...
And up, moved into the living room.
Around noon, we started talking about filming, and moved into BR2.
It took way too long to get the camera focused 'just' the way She wanted, and I was within seconds of standing up and saying, "Maybe another time..."
But She got the camera the way She wanted it...
and we shot about 9 minutes of video, in two clips, with a pause in between, while She put a band aid on a slightly bleeding spot on my left buttock... which I'm tentatively calling "Lesson Learned"  but still leaving the title-decision up to Her for posting on our clips4sale site.
Done with that about 13:00, and began the process of uploading from camera to dropbox, then converting from HD to mp4.
In the meantime as I sat in a living room chair, something came up, and we moved into BR1 and She did not need oral warm up: She started by getting on top of me, before then rolling on Her back, and me mounting Her, which resulted in a rare Happy ending for me.   ..... (1430)
I took my contact lenses out, as my right out was bright red.
She got Herself ready to go pick up Stitch AND meet with Bullfrog, and show Him the Household Agreement She had drawn up.
Printing it was a minor problem, but we got it done.
She left, and I was more than ready to get some sleep.
I started in my easy chair, until I was hungry enough to get a snack...
Then moved into the BR...

She returned home with Stitch AND Bullfrog.
She went out again to Walmart to get a prescription...while I slept...

She returned home ...
And announced dinner was ready...
For me,  nacho like chips, covered in beef and sauce. 
I ate, and watched more "The Newsroom" 
And went back to sleep..... 

10 H   s l Sex
10 H   s l Org
11 H   s l Fun for Me and Her
516 H   Unlocked
10 H   s Her last DO
281 D  s M L ci
41  D   gluten free
596 H  s Her last date, and I think She's avoiding him
20 D   s our l P or M 
 2       clips produced (1 long clip, cut into half)
1/2  D   Child living with us. 

 

8.09 Sunday Diary

I was still stroking, trying to get an erection..while watching t.v.
But I became a bit self-conscious about it, lying next to Merry ... especially, thinking about the video we had produced, about me being 'caught' masturbating.
So I excused myself, went to the living room, and watching some spanking porn on my phone, got a decent erection, and returned.
She made herself ready, and I got on top of Her ... and I came so quickly, She didn't have time to cum, Herself. I don't think THAT has ever happened.  
 And I cleaned Her up....
 And went and got a snack, and we watched "Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll" followed by "Married".
 To sleep  0200.
Awake, 310, to pee, and get some ice cream.

Up 1045, She offered me coffee, I took some Tums instead.
Back to sleep...
1310 awake, and up.
Toilet.... showered, dried... 
 and locked up, beginning of a new game.
While I was in the shower, Merry came in and we discussed the parameters, and settled on the same range as the previous range, with earliest release date on Wednesday, latest release day a week from Saturday, no possible release on Sunday-Mondays-Tuesdays.

Dressed and out to car,  14:39
Poopy traffic, not to work until 15:43.

A screwed up night; yet another Fx event going on, using half our cars, which isn't that many to begin with... after doing morning set up, which was pretty easy,  I spent the night juggling the night work, trying to make it work and get it covered.

s l Sex           23 H
s l Org          23 H
S l Fun/me   28 H
s l Fun/Her  28 H
Unlocked    49 H
Locked       10 H
S her l DO  25 H
S l CI           256 D
Gluten free  16 D
s H last D     26.5 D
s l P or M    11+ D

8.07 Friday Diary

Sleeping the morning away.  Up at Her invitation for coffee, 10:30, back to sleep.
UP 12:00 more coffee,  then She suggested a shower, together.
After unlocking me, and we went into the shower.
  WHat happened next is detailed in my IN CHASTITY LOG available on this diary, and I this fukkin laptop is not cooperating with copy n paste, so go read it over there, huh?

By 14:30, we were up and around, and kinda getting dressed, and Stitch arrived home early, around 15:00.
After She finished the long tedious process of copy and pasting a shopping list, which could have been done in a hand written form in half the time, we were 'out' and in the car.
We went to Vons, spent over $100 there, then to the 99C store.
I waited in the car, and She took so long inside, that I thought Sunshine had taken over, gotten scared, and was hiding in a corner somewhere. I went in to check, and She was in the check out line, looking at me, like, "What's up, why you here?"
To help with the bag.
Home... groceries in, with Stitch's help, and away.
She started reheated the roasted chicken She bought, so I started prepping red potatoes to fry.   And started frying them...  
While reading Thursday's paper.
Once dinner was ready ...for me, chicken, fried potatoes, cheese quesadillas ( I don't get bread)  while watching "Clipped."
 Interesting episode.  A guy has a gambling problem, and gambles away the money he should be using to buy prescription meds for his mother, and his friends try to tell him the importance of his mother, than he is only going to get to have one in his life....
Back to the living room.... nap in chair.
Paperwork and sorting bills.
On the desktop to update my chastity log.
 While I was online, She went off with Stitch into BR2 to get it on 'again', but She said, he couldn't 'keep it up'.  
She says She ordered him to start jackin' off, twice a day, to the point of cumming, then stopping... as a practice for keeping up an erection during intercourse.   If he follows through with that for one day, I'll be very surprised. 
Got my laptop working to the point I could update some Diary entries like this one.     23:30 right now on Friday as I come to a stopping point.

as of midnight:
 s l Sex           10 H
 s l ORG          10 H
s l Fun/me      87 H
s l Fun/Her     11 H
Locked           259 Hr
Unlocked          11 Hr
s Her l DO        10 H
S l CI              254 D
Gluten free       14 D
S Her last D     24.5 D
s l P o M           9+ D
Clips sold          1 

7.17 Friday Diary and Journal

Midnight: I was still awake.  
I rolled over towards Her, She rolled towards me.
We got close, we got frisky.  
We were lovin, touchin, squeezin,  each other in a way we had not done in a long time. 
It soon led to the removal of Her lacy stretch panties, for contact betwixt my tongue and her between-the-leg nether regions, which did not last long as She pulled me up, and I hurriedly yanked my thong down... and with Her guidance, entered Her...
And after not very long at all...
I did not have a stop watch running...
But not very long at all...I had my climax to go along with Her  uh several.
Possibly the fastest I have ever 'came' during intercourse with Her.
Then occurred 'clean up'.  One of my favorite parts, but ... the whole episode was a 'favorite part'.
She had started, on tv. the movie "Guardians of the Galaxy" and once the fun was over, we continued watching it to the end.
Then I asked, "Wanna watch 'Wayward Pines'"?  
She did, and we did.
Done about 02:30.   
Was time to get some sleep; She has an appointment in oh  7 1/2 hours.

I got up 7:45.  Released Donna, fed the dogs n cats,   made coffee.
It was payday for Stitch and myself, so I started looked at accounts, and figuring out whom to pay how much.
Her first alarm went off at 8, second at 830, another at 9.
She was up with the first one.
She was out at 09:30.
I continued looking at accounts, looking through mail, writing checks (IRS payments) and pondering a recurring fantasy.
I started some laundry...
And on some kinda whim...
 Actually, I wanted to see if I had all the parts...
Various cats have knocked the box containing this thing off my dresser so many times, I wasn't sure...
So I checked...then put on, a black polycarbonate chastity device, and locked it on, took a selfie, and sent it to Merry.
And changed out of the thong to white lacy-stretch panties.
This evening, in about seven hours, I was about to start a five-overnight work week, and it 'seemed' like a good time to begin a "chastity game".
I was trying to nap in my chair, then Merry and I started texting, back and forth.
She arrived home,  1245 or so....   unpacked some stuff She purchased at some supermarket,  including sugar free Gummy Bears.
Knowing the effect those have on Her, I said, "Those should help if you're constipated."
"I am, and have been for days, which is a good thing for you."
"OH, how's that?"
"I haven't pooped for days. You can lick my butthole."
Now THAT is a concept that I suspect won't have any middle ground among people's opinions.  
In my opinion, either you LIKE the idea, or you DON'T like the idea.
I ... like the idea.  I believe my anal fetish is second only to my roleplay+spanking fetish.

So,  HER saying, I can ... you know, do that with my tongue... seemed to have come right out of a particular fantasy I've been having.
For me, a fantasy in my head is like some people with musical earworms.  Like getting a song stuck in the head, and won't leave until you wake up one day and it's gone, or it's been replaced by another song.
For me it's a fantasy. Some fantasy gets stuck, and I go over and over it, until .... I write it down, or it gets replaced, or other crap in my life moves it out of the way.
Later on, in this what's going to become a lengthy post, I am going to describe this particular fantasy.
Also, remember where I wrote roleplay+spanking fetish? I'm gonna write more about that, too, later on in this post.

She had just gotten Her pubic area...and labia ... waxed, and was 'anxious' to show me.  
First She gave me a quick view, taking down Her shorts and Slinky Pinkies to show me, then suggested I get much more of a close up.
We moved into BR2... so much cooler...  She got on the bed, and ...I got a real close up,  while sucking and licking Her very smooth nether regions.  With Her guiding me, I can safely speculate, She had a very good time.  
I asked Her, what had Her so pre-aroused?  Was it leftover from last night (13 hours ago?) Or does the waxing do it for Her?  Or was it that I was in chastity and so I could only provide for Her, with 'getting any' myself?
She said, it was leftover horniness from last night, kind of as a result of me 'taking control'.  
But/And, She expects or wants more of THIS, every morning, when I come home from work, this week.....   
So we got up and off the bed.
I mentioned a desire for having my butt spanked.
She said, "Okay!" and started getting the spanking bench ready. 
Which just meant, taking the sheet off of it.
Which wasn't what I wanted at all.
And I really wanted to film any such activity, but I really didn't have time.  We still had a LOT of shopping and errands to do.
And I had loose, almost uncontrollable, bowels. 
Accidents might well...happen.
So, I explained, and said, "Never mind."
She shrugged it off, and went to the living room...computer, to start printing a shopping list.
Quite simply, I thought THAT took way more time than really necessary for just a shopping list.... I could have hand-written three in the same amount of time...but it gave me time to gather mail to ...well, be mailed, and get dressed, and  go out and put the current tag on the license plate on my car, and put my laundry from washer to dryer.
She did the first driving, from home to a branch of Chase, where I withdrew most of my pay day deposit in cash.  
She asked me to take over driving.
I drove to a WF, where She deposited cash...
THen to the closed PO across the street from there, but it had a mailbox yet open, and I dropped outgoing mail...
Then to Winco, for our primary shopping....
When we got to the frozen food area, She wandered off, and ... Sunshine came back, giggly and excited because She found the Reese's Ice Cream Cake that we had been looking all over for.
We didn't buy it then, as we had other stops to make, but now we knew were to find it.
We checked out, and then went to Von's. Winco has overall better prices, but often She gets better deals on certain items through Von's Club.
Getting ready to check out, we got stopped by a very chatty fellow about...newspaper deliver.
Now, I HAD just put in the mailbox, a postcard for LA-T delivery, but he offered a special on the local LB Sunday delivery, and I took him up on it.
We checked out, went to the car...
And Home.
I brought the many bags to the porch.  I didn't want to open the door, because of three dogs looking out the screen, waiting for their chance to escape.
Stitch came out, and helped get the bags in.
And we unpacked and put it all away.
Then I went to fetch my laundry from the dryer.
And I stripped...
Gather clothes...
Showered and dressed...
Packed up,  made a batch of iced coffee.
At the computer desk, She had reverted to Merry. I asked about it; She said that 'apparently, Sunshine doesn't like doing boring moderator stuff.'
I kissed Her goodbye, and went on out to my car.
18:13.
 Onto the 710, smack dab into the scene of some accident, just getting cleaned up by emergency vehicles.
While negotiating through that, my phone rang.
"I thought you had left your phone at home, I see one on the table bedside."
"That's my old phone, the one I had before this one I'm talking to you on..."
"oh..."
In two miles, I was past the freeway mess.
At work 19:18.
ANd could not get my head around, that this is FRIDAY.
"Saturday" was stuck in my head.  
Night work tagged out, I just had to follow through.
A thumping 65 rides for Saturday.  

Now then: 

IF we are into 'The Chastity Game', then it's up to Merry to pull a random number for the days I am to be locked up.  Since '1' would be noon/Saturday (tomorrow), then '5' would be noon/Wednesday, which should be the minimum,  and Saturday (the 25th, 8 days) the maximum. (This time, 5 to 8 days... we may go for longer periods, as we acclimate, and I determine that this device is wearable for long periods).  
So, a random number between 5 and 8, inclusive, please?

About  roleplay+spanking:
I've been thinking a bunch about our relationship, which has gone through many changes and alterations.  
I've been thinking about what I want.
I've been trying to figure out why I've been doing so much fantasizing about what I want,  which is pretty much exactly what I did when I lived with an ex-girlfriend, then a (late)wife, then an ex-girlfriend, then alone... 
And now I have a wife who is as delighted to spank my naked bottom as I am to have Her do it.

So, what's the fuckin' problem, Shilo?

Well....

  I am not a submissive.  I'm easy to get along with, when it comes to choices to be made.  But when shit needs doing, and nobody else is doing it, I will and I do take control.
 I am not a slave.  My gut still hurts, thinking of when the word was applied to me.
 At home, in the real world, anyway.  

  I'm still quite willing to 'go along' on Fet, or at parties, as being Her submissive/slave.  It's ... a role to play.

We tried having a Female-led Relationship with DD.
The 'rules' we had in place were... well, common sense and common courtesy.  
As for the Domestic Discipline:  
 I've come to believe that DD has no 'real' place between consenting adults.  
When one of 'em does 'something wrong' it should be talked out.
As in,   
 "You left the toilet seat up."
"I did? Omigod, I'm sorry."
"Okay, try to remember, please."

As opposed to a different conversation, in what I imagine to be the real world:
 "You left the toilet seat up."
"I did? Omigod, I'm sorry."
"I am going to spank you for forgetting."
"What?  The FUCK you are."

THAT, I imagine is the conversation between 'real' adults, 
unless one has some kind of strong power over the other  (financial, threat of leaving...) or, one has agreed to the power exchange. Which happens.   But I don't really get it.

But, DD doesn't work in OUR relationship, because spanking is neither discipline nor punishment.
I enjoy it too much.
So, if punishment is supposed to be "an action given as consequences for unwanted behavior, meant to be a deterrent against such behavior recurring" ... 
   it doesn't work on me.  
If the punishment is corporal in nature, I enjoy it ...afterwards... maybe not during, while being applied...  and would not be a deterrent.  
I'm also quite stubborn. I'm capable of repeating the behavior, simply as a passive-aggressive acting out.

I simply believe in keeping it REAL in the relationship.  If I exhibit behavior that bother Her, She needs to talk to me.  
And vice versa.

THE problem .... eh, make that A problem, there may well be others ...  is : She knows, and I know.
She knows that ...I am a masochist, that I enjoy the impact play.
And I know that I am a masochist, that I enjoy it.
My fantasy world is a place where I am not self-aware.  Where I am spanked by a Dominant Other, who does it for discipline and punishment, and possibly her own kind of pleasure,  and I don't know ...for sure... that I ... kinda ... like it.
My fantasy world is a place where I'm in a relationship with a Woman who has Authority.
Call her 'Mom' or 'Stepmother' or 'Aunt' or 'Governess'.  and I am a ..well, a young man.  
She has Authority and when She declares, "It's time for a spanking" I am in no position to refuse.

So, it's been 25.5 months since our first date.
In that time, we (rather quickly) signed a D/s contract.
And equally quickly, and at my urging for fear of being cast aside, signed an M/s contract.
And got married.
And converted all to an FLR-DD contract.
And due to my abdominal health,  put all such things aside for a bit.
ANd when we returned, .... we realized, we like, or really, I like, videotaping our activities for posterity,  and realized, we just might make a bit of money, selling the clips on clips4sale.
Since then, nearly all our impact-play sessions have been done for the purpose of taping and putting them on our site.
We've done mostly roleplay for those clips,  pretending, for the sake of our audience, to be a couple engaging in FLR-DD. 

And THAT is what I mean, when I state that roleplay+spanking is at the top of my fetish list.

I do not want Her to declare an intention to spank me because 'I deserve it'.  I simply don't think that option exists.
She CAN (may...) declare an intention to spank me because  ...  She likes to, and knows I like it.  
Even better, to do it with camera rolling.

What kind of roleplay?
Well, as of right now, I've written out 84 scenarios, suitable for videorecording.

ANYTHING that takes the scene out of this 'real world', where punishment and discipline does not exist between adults, and into my imaginary fantasy world.

Although there will certainly by time for the occasional spontaneous not-recorded 'fun' spanking.

One 'might ask, if you're not in a D/s or M/s relationship, why do you involved in chastity play?
Because... She likes to have that control over me, and I like to cede that control to Her.
I know about myself that if/when I'm not in chastity, I'm tempted to take it into my own hand, whenever the whim strikes me that circumstances allow.   (During recent health issues, I've had NO interest in such.  I've noticed that in these days that I have felt better, my sexual appetite is returning.) However, being allowed to cum too much (for me) results in a decreased interest in Her.
Being in chastity aids in keeping me aroused and interested in Her.
However, She enjoys intercourse, with me, WAY too much, for me to "worry" about becoming "one of those men" who claim to be locked up for months at a time.

And finally:
 About a thousand words ago, I mention my recent earworm-of-a-fantasy.
 I'll write about it here, just so I can get it out, and move on to another one.
  In the present tense:

Somewhere (details vague) I meet an older woman. By that, I mean, clearly older than me.  She may be married but looking for something on the side, or separated/divorced/widowed.  Experienced but ... looking for something.   Maybe we meet on line, as it's easier, perhaps, to talk about intimate details when you're not face to face.
And we talk about what we would want if we could have a random hook-up,  and got to do just what we wanted.
She tells me that what she loves ... is to have her anus kissed, and licked, to have a man's tongue stuck into it as deep as he can get it in ...  followed by a finger, or two, then a dildo to open it up, followed by the man's cock, slow and easy in, til it's in all the way, then slowly ouuuut, then innnnnn,   until she is pushing back on it, urging him to go faster and harder with each thrust...   while her right hand is between her legs, rubbing her clit in rhythm with the anal pounding... until she gasp and moans in orgasm after orgasm ...and feels the man ejaculate into the condom stretched around his cock.  Then he pulls it out and continues to lick her anus and her pussy and clit, until she moans and says she's had enough.
I reply, 'Wow what's wrong with that, I got aroused thinking about it'.  
She says, 'I've known a man ...or two...that just were not into anything anal.  A bit of disappointment.'
"Oh, too bad," I say.
"And you?" she asks.
"Nothing...sexual, at all.  I want a dominant woman, like a ..a stepmother, who beats my bottom, for any offense, or just for discipline,  whether it's over her knee, while she uses a hairbrush, or with me bent over a chair or bed, while she uses paddle or strap or cane.  Just your basic home style punishment for a so called naughty boy."
"Ohhhhh, well..."
In short time, we get together... her place or mine or a hotel room. 
She gets what she wants, and I get what I want.
We go separate ways, satisfied.
We get together frequently, weekly or so. 

sl Sex        11 H
sl Org        11 H
sl F4Me       368 H
sl F4Her      368 H
Unlocked    109 D
Locked            1/2 D
sHl DO         10 H
sl CI            233 D
GlutenFree  58.33 D
sHlDate         3.5 D
S l MorP      73 H


Caption by me:

7.02 Thursday diary

01:30 UP,  p & s
03:15 awake...
07:15, up  fed cats and dogs
Made coffee, did some dishes...
Back in BR1 updated my "Scenes"  cards and notebook.
Watched  "Falling Skies", "Suits",  "Proof", "Zoo".
13:45 in LR, talked and made plans...
I set up the camera in BR2
We took a shower together...
Stitch arrived home early, 1500, after been released from work early for the long weekend, and CJ showed up at home almost the same time.
We told 'em both,  we would be filming, don't let the dogs into the bedroom.
After a few seconds of set up, with Her calling this Weekly Maintenance, we began, with me naked, face down on the bed, butt propped up by a few pillows and She applied  tawse, bonebreaker paddle, long cane, pizza paddle,  and church paddle.
CUT...and She took a few stills on my camera-phone.
(which appear on a different entry).
2nd video....in the intro, She had decided THAT wasn't enough.
So, me in diaper position...and she applied the Zombie Killer,  Delrin cane strokes to my taint,  then back onto my buttocks with spoon and skinny paddle.
Done...She took a few stills on my camera -phone.
I went to the LR to move the video from camera to desktop....
Then began the conversion from HD to mp4.
THen I followed Her to BR2,  and we quickly engaged in Oral, for Her as warm up, then Intercourse, resultingin an 'O' for me.
Then after clean up...
to the LR for phone games...
Talked to Dad
On the desktop to create screen caps from the vids....and loaded all to my flash drive...
And loaded the vids onto our c4s site, for Her to do final editing.
Dinner....  
Sheets in from laundry onto the bed...
and Sleep  2200 ish



D sl S  6 hours
D sl O  6 hours
D sl F4Me   8 hours
D sl F4Her   8 hours
D UN   94.5
D sHl O   6 hrs
D sl Ci   218
D G-F    43.33
D sHl D   2.5
D sl PorM   5

NIA ...
Setting the scene, in the below gif:

"Shilo, you embarrassed me in public.   The moment we get home and get the groceries inside, you will strip and stand in the corner, and stay there until I say otherwise."

...later...

"Turn around."
Shilo does;  she is holding the red strap.
"Go to the bedroom... get down on your knees, bend over the bed."
Shilo does; she comes and sits down next to him. 
And applies the strap across his buttocks, hard and fast.

6.28 Sunday Diary

A stop at a Denny's on the way home.
Bacon and bacon and bacon and eggs for Her; chocolate and vanilla ice cream for me.
While I looked at my phone for pictures, and there were not any.
I mean, seriously, I know I saw the flashes as She took them.  
But nowhere to be found on my camera.  WTF?
On we went, home.
Getting ready for bed.
I took a few selfies of what my bottom looked like, NOW, some 2 and a half to three hours after.

Then we headed into the bedroom...
And I began  "testing the echo in the love cave"
followed by some 'assault with a friendly weapon"
which lasted until I had a rare occasion of "firing the flesh musket".
She asked, "how long has it been" and ratherly stupidly I replied, "Counting masturbation?"
"You've been masturbating?"
Well, NOT habitually, but certainly once since my last orgasm during intercourse, which has been 39 days up to now!
It seemed like that might turn into an argument, but it didn't.
She said "I am not mad that you have masturbated" so MANY times, that I think She is protesting too much
To sleep...perchance to dream...
Awake  0345, P & S  
Awake again 0545  P & S.
Awake 0840  P.
And awake  1130, 1230...  
and 2:00, thinking about the dream I had involving my girl friend, later roommate,  before Merry....
Sitting and sleep-meditating..
1500 up and mobile...
Shower, dress, toilet... packed up... 
Kiss Her good bye..
Toilet...
Supervisor sent to me a text, saying the OTHER overnight guy needed time off to go to brothers memorial service, and asked if I could cover some part of his days off.    
Sure.
Car 1556  at work 1657.
At work, Sunday, wrapping at work on the BET Experience, and Awards...   Not a 'big' deal.
At the time I was starting to set up for Monday,  62 rides. Ha.
Looked like an easy time.
 ......................    FML!......
(to be explained on Monday's)


h sl S               21   
h sl O               21
D sl F4Me          1
D sl F4Her         1
D UN                90 1/2
h sHl O             21 1/2
D sl Ci              214
D G-F                  39 1/3
D sHl D                4/5
D sl PorM          1

Setting the scene for the gif, below:  

"I've had enough of this discussion, Shilo.  Get your clothes off and get over my lap, now!"

Setting the scene for the gif, below:
"You have talking about, wondering what it's like to be spanked over the lap of nylon-covered legs.  So, get your clothes off, it's time you found out." 

05.20 Wednesday Diary

My long a.m. shift at work.
Watched "the Newsroom"  episodes  1: 1 - 5.
Off 8:56, in car 09.00
Home 9:43.
Did some dishes.
Ate some chips while reading Monday's NY Times.
1015 Tried to take a nap.
UP 11:30, pee, snack...
Laying on the bed, an erection popped up, Merry was laying next to me. 
I showed it to her.
Which led to ...sex   (intercourse) and  an orgasm for me.

Then talk, pee again, talk.

14:15 getting dressed.
14:35 in car.
AT the office of my new doctor, ten minutes later, and filling out 5 or 6 pages of forms. In a waiting room 1520 or so.  Dr Bell came in , around 16:00.

And we talked for about 1/2 an hour. 
He's getting me a referral to a (local) GI, and for now, suggested we look into Gluten-intolerance.   which is to say,  I stay away from gluten for the next 28 days until my next appointment with him, and we'll talk again.
Merry got called to go pick up Babyman, who was having many seizures.
We had stripped the bed before we left, and put the covers and sheets and the wash. Once home, now, I put them through a second rinse.
Then I sat in my chair with chips and the US News...and took a nap.
Got up to put the sheets in the dryer...back to nap... up to put the sheets on the bed.
ANd watched "Wheel of Fortune", then the new show, "500 Questions."
Heated up leftover pork chops from the previous night...
2100 sleeping, whne Merry came home, after leaving Babyman at KrHC.

D sl S   1/2
D sl O   1/2
D sl Fun/me 82 1/3
D sl Fun/her ~62
D U:N  51  1/2
D her DO   1/2
D sl CI  175
D  Gluten free  1/3

2.22 Sunday, diary

From the BoD, we went to a Norm's near our home for a late dinner. We arrived 0145, and there was a wait; the place was full, and possible understaffed. 
We got a table...and waited... and so on.... 
There was even a huge line at the cashier, to pay and get out.
We arrived home, about 0300.
Stitched had dozed off, on top of the covers of our bed, so I woke him up.
After other details, I was ready to use the toilet, and of course Stitch was in the bathroom, so I had to wait...
We went to bed....
I woke up around 0800 to pee, again, and of course, Stitch was in the bathroom.
I waited my turn, and went back to bed.
I went back to bed, and after a bit, managed to wake her, and Sex happened, as did a Happy Ending for me.
I cleaned Her up, and we lay together, talking, listening to a music channel on the t.v.  
I got up to use the toilet, and this time Stitch was cleaning the bathroom ... and got out of the way, when I came in.
I went back to bed, and we watched 'The Big Bang Theory'
And eventually got up, 13:30.
I brought my laundry in from the dryer, and put it away.
And unpacked the dungeon-toy bag.
And sat at the table with a half-slice of last night's homemade pizza (all I wanted, did not want to be too full)
And read Sunday's paper...
Toilet, Showered, dressed, made iced coffee... toilet again...
Moved my car into driveway, came in with the key, kissed Her good bye, went out to Her car, and set off to work.
Rain.... and Hollywood traffic... and road closures.... at work 3:55.

I was doing set up for the next day.
A real BITCH when I have 75 rides before noon, maybe a dozen chauffeurs to work with, most of which are working, and going to be out on Oscar's jobs until who-knows-when.
I farmed 30 something just to get through the morning until 10:30.
Then I began the night's work, which meant answering phone call after phone call after phone call from farm companies and so on...
ERRRGG...
  Well, it is the biggest show of the year in Hollywood....

Hours since last S   13
Hours since last O   13
Hours since last D   24
Days UN               2241
Days since l  CIG     88
Her DO                  Yes

2.18 Wednesday Diary

Off work and out 9:15, in MY car and home 10:20.

Merry got up as I walked in.  I let Donna out of her crate, and fed all the animals.  
I emptied the diswasher, put dishes in, sorted all the tupperware-type containers, looked at the non working dryer...
Did a fashion show with panties, to see what She does not like and does, and took pix of the ones She likes....
had a snack of carrots celery and apple... sorted mail, read theapper,  
Moved into the bedroom  ..... sex with Merry ensued, resulting in a happy ending for me!
I tried to nap,but sleep was not forthcoming... so I got up , started on notebook fiddling, uploading panty pix to my blog...
watched Shameless... two eps of ComicBookMen, 
while hand scribbling some new stories to work out, and submit to Ms Ivey.  
Merry went out to the market with Stitch and returned, and served up dinner.  
I watched SVU...and went to bed, when it ended.

Hours since last sex  10
Hours since last O     10
Hr since last D          101
Days since locked up  2145
D since last CIG         84
Her DO                     Yes

02.10 Tuesday Diary

Off work, in car 0640, and home 07:26.
At which time I received an email from Ms. Ivey, saying she had accepted, was buying, the most recent story I had submitted to her.

I let loose Donna, fed the animals, and went into the bedroom, where Merry was awake, and we talked about this and that,  then  I stripped and went to the bathroom, and took a shower.
I returned to the bedroom, and got in next to Her
And we talked...
And "had sex"  I really dislike that expression for having intercourse, but I'm not quite sure how else to write it, without being crude...
Until She turned over, because She was having trouble breathing while on Her back, and after a couple minutes, my erection disappeared...
And we talked...
And with a helping hand from Her, my erection returned, and She got on top of me for a few minutes, until Her knees gave out, and She got on Her back, and I got on top....  
And we ... sigh... had sex, and I came for the first time in 82 days, then I slipped down, between Her spread legs, and licked my mess out of Her and why do some guys make such a big deal out of that, I don't get it what's the problem then we lay together talking until She said, She wanted more... which usually happens...give Her a little, She wants more more more MORE...
Well,  I was able to get it up again... and gave Her more before my erection disappeared.
Then, it was time to get up,  so I could get something to eat....
And back to bed, around 10:00.
Shortly thereafter, She left the house for Un-fun stuff in HB, including some court-mandated class in OC.
I went to sleep, accompanied by one big dog and two small ones.
She called me around 1730 to see if I was awake...I wasn't with my alarm set for 1800... oh well.
I got up at 1800, and dressed, and got ready.  
I was in my car at 1837 and at work  1937.

Work has been kinda stupid-crazy-nuts due to the major lay offs of drivers... but I got through it, and had time, to work on some stories to submit, and finished and submitted four to Ms Ivey.

I told Merry, that I have been thinking about... my previous declaration of ... partaking of Funishment exercises only when we could film it, and only Tallship was not home..... 
And was thinking, that THAT takes away some spontaneity, AND I was letting Tallship dictate to us...even though he has no idea that he's doing it, since he has no idea of my feelings about this...
And I've decided,  to hell with all that.
I AM prepared, ready, to enjoy our BDSM fun, whenever.
If it happens when videotaping is convenient, great! If not, that's great, too.   If Tallship is home, so what? 
 Let's just do this.

BUT....
  I'm not going to 'suggest it'.
 I just can't do that. 
 Merry needs to initiate it. 
  With my on going IBS issues, there are times still, when I'm just not, you know, 'feeling it' 
  But there are ways...or A Way to approach it.
 Such as saying, "So... Ready for a spanking?"
Which sounds like both a question and a statement.
  And leaves it open to me saying either, "I'm just not up to it" or  which is increasingly likely, because I'm really jonesing for the action, "As you wish, my wife."

Hours since last sex  14
Hours since my last O  15
Hours since last 'action'  2012 ...83 days
Hours unlocked  1953,  79 days...I'm jonesing for this, too
Days since last Cigarette  78 ...  yeah, I miss this, a little bit
Her DO?  Yes, many