7.15 Diary

Just before I left the office, she sent me an email in response to my response to her comment on my journal... first thing She wrote was, She 'wanted me to reply on the blog itself.
  I went nearly ballistic.   I am not a mind reader, and She is constantly asking for this or that...  but when I do this or that,  She says,  "I wanted the blue this nor this red one, and I wanted the yellow that, not the green one."
H BAR!
So, in car 0700, and home about 0747.
And trading texts or emails while I'm trying to get inside the door.
Began to feed the animals, and observed we were down to one can of cat food.
Which means, when Stitch fed the cats last night, he must have noticed that, and ... not mentioned it to anybody.   
  New rule I made on the spot:  Stitch doesn't feed the cats (in the evening) anymore.  I will do it.  
Skipped morning shower, but did undress, and joined Her in Her bedroom.   We cuddled and talked for a bit.  
 I was ready to go get  B*L*D then paused, and pulled down the tighty pinkies from Her waist, and gave Her oral service and D.O. 
I didn't think 'anything' would come of it, feeling too tired to get aroused...but...I did get aroused enough and took off my briefs,  and She spread Her legs, and I got on top of Her, and  as She calls it, we 
 had sex.
 No happy ending for me,  I really just wanted to go pee.
Once Her moaning died down, I got off Her.  She stripped the soaked sheets off the bed. I went into the kitchen, and put together pastrami sandwiches on white bread-toast. 
I ate and read the paper, then excused myself..and went into my bedroom...
And got thoroughly immersed in a notebook-updating project while listening to Her and Sherman, bantering in the other room.

Asleep around noon....
Half awake around 1300...
Up 1600 for P and to eat the last eclair...
then UP 1715.
S&D&D  and fed the cats.   
Packed up, and in HER car,  with Stitch, around 1830,
and at work around 1930.

Where our primary  dispatch program was not working properly.
Which mean,the volume of phone and two way radio traffic that I had to deal with, was increased by a multiple of 4.
And continued to not function all night...and into the morning, as I write this.

What is my fucking problem?
I am so ...disgruntled....    about everything.  
Many times, lately, I've been sitting at work, and thinking,  "Why the fuck am I here?"   <at this job, I was thinking...>   
And I've been so ...short tempered with Merry. 
She tries SO hard to be sweet and loving to me, but ...so often, the slightest damn thing, and my blood boils and I'm shouting, or nearly so.   
Wonder if a physical attitude adjustment would help?

Or, is THAT the problem rather than the cure ?

Yes, I love spanking ... or, rather, being.....
I love chocolate too, but wiping out a one lb box of See's Candies in one sitting does not make me feel very good.
And the kind of spankings She gives me often come under the heading of "too much".

HsLS 15
hsLO 69
HsLD  71
H un 70
Her DO  yes

Days since last cigarette ....  41 + 21 hours 


from Corporal Punishment: over mother's knee

I have spent time over both my parents knees. My father would change to more appropriate over-his-desk punishments when I became ten, but my mother did continue over the knee spankings for some time. It is those smackings I will write about now.

I remember those moments well:  looking (sometimes through a cloud of tears) at the carpet, head hanging down; a pair of legs on the other side, sometimes hanging down, sometimes fidgeting a little. One arm probably stretched out forward, the other secured by mother's firm grip on my back. The highest point of the body: the bottom, just ready for discipline. Bare or covered with knickers, always the feeling of cool air touching the (almost) unclothed part, that is now to receive warmth.

And then… WHAM. The slipper strikes. Left cheek. Heat spreads. WHAM, right cheek. My face flushes even more, as does – so I suppose -  my bottom. And then the smacks rain down. Until I am sobbing, crying, promising to be a good girl now. And honestly feeling that, too.

Those were the days, then. Over the knee smackings are not so formal, they allow a parent for caring discipline. Oh, you didn’t enjoy being over your mothers lap, I can tell you. But if you went there, you knew it was well deserved. No matter if you were 4 or 14, mother would do what was needed…

Make Your Spanking Bench Uncomfortable

Comfortable, padding spanking benches are a waste of money.

Errant submissive man or male slave needs the discipline of corporal punishment. The submale does not need comfort.

Let the male spankee’s skin chafe and rub against rough surfaces. Make it unequivocal and clear that he is being punished. Don’t coddle him..  Tie him tightly in place, allow suspense to build up and then spank and whip him until the lessons of submission and obedience are beaten into him.