06.03 Diary part II

Done with work...left at 0635, and home at 07:20.

Fed the animals,  unloaded the dishwasher, and reloaded it...  woke Her up at 0800, as She requested,  then stripped off, and got into the shower.
Dried, and dressed in a-shirt, tighty whities and black/grey/white socks, and entered Her bedroom.
She bade me lay down next to Her, and I did.
We pillow talked awhile,  summarizing and reiterating Her rather strong need and desire for me to STOP LYING TO HER....  and She asked ...how much of what I wrote in the part one of this day's post is true, and I said, it is full of 'maybes'....
aaaaand I offered Her a DO, and She observed that, at THIS point, it's hardly a DO, maybe it's a WO (weekly..) which had me thinking of some word starting with an E to make it a WOE.
At any rate, She said, "I won't refuse, if you're offering..."
Which had me quickly getting under the sheet that covered Her (She said, She was still cold), and pulling the tighty-pinkies down, and off Her feet,  and She closed Her legs, and my head went to Her crotch, my tongue to the top of Her slit, and I listened to Her moan.. and wiggle, even jump a bit, a few times....
Until She started trying to pull me up....
And I said, "Hold on a second..." as I still had to get my own Calvin Kleins down and off....
Then I slid up, and mounted Her, as Her right hand guided my hard penis in between Her legs, into the soft wet warm comfort of Her ... kit-kat.
And... we did the ol' in-out.  And performed intercourse.  Along with copulation.
Hell, we fucked.
Long enough that I could feel the gush and warmth of Her liquids around my penis.
Long enough that I heard  Her yell out with a volume I've never heard prior to this.
Long enough that ... She started crying.
I continued...   until I could see that She was calm, and possibly sated or satisfied, or at least, content.
And I stopped, and withdrew.
She went down on me, briefly, just to see if She could get a taste of Her own juices on my penis,  and said that She did not.

Anyway, I saw THIS pic on some blog today, and thought it was amusing:

AND we got up, and stripped the bed of the sheets and mattress cover, soaked in Her juices, and She took them out to the washing machine.
I went into the kitchen, and started fixin' dinner.
She joined me.  I read the paper while She sat at Her computer desk.
Then She went in to take a shower... then dressed for work...  and departed, around 1045,
And I went to bed.

Awake..around 15:00,   got up to pee, and eat the last of the mocha almond fudge ice cream... and back to bed.
Alarm off 1715... snooze...and snooze  then off...
And up at 1745 when She woke me up.
..Shower, dry, dressed.
And She showed me some virus warning pop up on Her computer screen, that She asked me to fix...I got that started, then went out to the garage in search of some math books to show my co worker, but could not find them....returned inside to finish up the anti virus download...   then on my way...
Car  1840.
'In"  1928.

Easy night at work.
Can't say the same about the morning, but that's a different day's post.

HsLS   14
HsLO  528
HsLD   277
H UN  587
Her DO or WO (or whatever-the-fuck to call it)?  yes, many
Did I offer?  Yep.

from The House Rules
During PMS, ALL rules are null and void.
                                                               The End

from Scriptures Pertinent to Submission
Psalms 119.72 Your instructions are more valuable to me than millions in gold or silver.

from An Owned Male - One Possible Scenario
An owned male may be forever forbidden to have an orgasm, but he may still have sex with his Dominant Wife.

6.01 Diary

Up ...10:30.
Breakfast, pills, newspaper, coffee...
I've been taking Chantix to stop smoking for a couple months.
Twice a day, supposedly, but I usually take it once a day, because the effect it has on my stomach for the first hour....  it's not nausea, but a crampy, full, twisty effect...
Anyway, after the pills, I sat down in my easy chair, and went back to sleep..
Until Her alarm went off, at 13:10, and She said, 'Time to get up."
I did so. My stomach felt ..well, better than it did.
Most of my week-end long head ache has subsided.
I went into my room, scooped the litter box,  refilled the water and dry food supply container, added a gallon of water to the dog's big water bottle,  went to the toilet, and noticed, upon taking down my shorts, that I had waited a few minutes too long... oh well... cleaned up, and took a shower....   dried and dressed,  produced a shirt, that I asked Her, I would really like to have buttons sewn onto,  mixed up iced coffee, and said, "Goodbye" and was on my way  14:10.
Fouled up  N-B 5 traffic.  Fouled up N-B 101 traffic...   at work, In 15:10.

With two co-workers running the night lead until 1930, ample time for me to look over and do the Monday's set up.
Easy peasy.     SO FAR! My shift is not over, and I know from experience, that shit can happen quickly and convert what seemed like an easy shift into one of the worst shifts of my life.
That's one reason why I'm always on edge...at work.
It simply ain't over... until it's over.

Around 22:15, She sent a text:  "Off to bed. Goodnight."
A huge surprise, to me.  She often naps during the night, then wakes up and stays up for some hours.
I don't remember the last time, or any time, that She actually just... went to bed  this early.
I replied, "Seriously?  Good night!"
She wrote, "Sooo Sleepy..."
I wrote back, "Okies. When I am home, you nap five hours, then you're up all night while I'm trying to sleep."
No response came back from that.

June 1st, today.
The one year anniversary of our first date, a play date at a party at the BoD.
I had not started THIS blog, yet.
(Because I started this blog, at Her request...)

At any rate, our celebration of this anniversary was .... non-existent.

HsLS  110
HsLO  480
HsLD  229
H UN  539
Her DO? No
Did I offer?  No

from One Woman's Tips to Making Him a Submissive Man

There is only one thing that all submissive men must learn to do.

 You should have this conversation with him in a non-sexual environment, so the reality of the requirement is finite, unequivocal and a given.

EVERY time he cums, he must consume his ejaculate.

If he cums inside you,  he must lick you clean.

 If he cums on you, he must lick you clean. 

If you masturbate him or he masturbates for you, you must feed him his semen.

At some point you should make him shoot into a cup or a glass and he must drink it down.

This requirement for all submissive men does two things: It puts a real price on his orgasms, and it demonstrates your declaration of your dominance, and his acceptance of your dominance, no matter who brought the topic up.

 This is non-negotiable and should be explained to him when he first approaches you with his desire to be submissive to you or your desire to lead the relationship.

If he does not accept this simple requirement, he is not submissive. It is the only test and proof that he is sincere in his desire to be submissive, and your only requirement showing you are ready to assume the leadership role in the relationship.

from The House Rules

He must remain calm, always, unless She wants him to be angry and upset.

from Scriptures Pertaining to Submission

Colossians 4.1  Master, be fair and just to Your slave, remembering that You also have a Master ... in Heaven.

5.31 Diary

Up 13:00.
Stomach still cramped, but the headache had receded enough that I decided against going to an Urgent Care.
So, breakfast and coffee and pills and newpaper....
Sat in my chair awhile, half dozing, half talking to Her while She sat at Her computer.

And retired to my bedroom, and started watching episodes of Shameless.
I finished the season's worth...
And had dinner....
She came into bed around midnight,  and saw that Edwards Scissorhands was about to start... and She fell asleep ten minutes into it, while I lay awake and watched the whole thing.

Asleep 0230 or so.



HsLS  86
HsLO 456
HsLD  205
Hr UN  515
Her DO ?  No
Did I offer? No

from One Woman's Tips to Make Him a Submissive Man

It's not all about sex but ... much of his submission is.

 You need to talk to him and ask him what turns him on or off.  Ask him what he expects and wants.  Tell him what you expect and want.  Keep an open mind and don't freak out if he has some silly fetishes . He is sharing everything with you and no one else, so even if it seems pretty odd or nasty, try it, make him do it, whatever.

from The House Rules

She has the right to be angry or upset, at any time.

from Scriptures Pertinent to Submission

Psalm 119.73 Let Your mercy come to me, that I may live, for Your love is my delight.

05.30 Diary

Up..maybe noon.
Stomach still cramped,  head still splitting, but maybe less so than yesterday.
Managed to change the litter box, and clean up a little around the litter box...
And get sheets on the bed...
And take a shower, so that I could get out of my sweaty underwear, and put on fresh....
And went back to my bedroom and resumed watching eps of L&O SVU from the DVR.
Somewhere during which She said, dinner is ready...and I asked Her to bring me mine on a tray, as I still felt dizzy when I stood up, and She did....

And I finished the whole season's worth of SVU.

And asleep, 0100.

HsLS  86
HsLO  432
HsLD   181
Hr Un 491
Her DO?  No
Did I offer?  No

from One Woman's Tips to Make Him a Submissive Man

Having him help with house work, yard work and generally being a better partner is assumed.

 He can also learn to cook, with your teaching.

 He is not your slave (YET!)  but he can be an over -  50% partner in the household chores you don't like doing.   Delegate, delegate, delegate.   He will not do things if you don't tell him to do them, and you should  show him how you want them done.   He can't read your mind, so tell him when he is doing something wrong, but more importantly tell him when he is doing something right, and ask him to do it again.

from The House Rules

He must never change his mind without Her express permission.

from Scriptures Pertinent to Submission

Psalms 119:61 Teach me knowledge and good judgment.

Diary 5.29

She went to work... 10:45 or so.
I struggled out of bed, around noon.
Stomach cramped, and a splitting head ache.
I managed to get the sheets off the bed, and into the wash...
And empty the dishwasher, and put more dishes into it, and clean out the crock pot;
And talk to the pool guy, in the back yard...
And get the sheets into the dryer...
Then sat in my easy chair and dozed off...
And got up around 1600, to go back to my bed room,
And start catching up on past episodes of L&O SVU.

While watching that, I read from Science of Mind,
and started working through a pile of magazines from the last year, including Westway and AllAnimal, and NatWildLife and Details...
And had some dinner....

And She joined me in bed around midnight, and we watched the final two episodes of Dexter, that had just turned up on SHO.

And to sleep, around 02:30

HsLS  38
HsLO  408
HsLD  157
H Un   467
Her DO?  No
Did I offer? No

from One Woman's Tips to Make Him a Submissive Man
Have him give you back rubs, foot rubs, leg rubs, body massages, anything you think you might like or should try, and then do as much as you like. He loves every minute of doing anything for you, especially if he is physically close to you

from The House Rules
She can change her mind at any time.

from Scriptures Pertinent to Submission
Psalms 119:60  I will hurry without delay to obey Your commands.

Diary 5.28

I clocked out at work at 0610 for a 'lunch' intending to take a nap in my car, that would get me through until 730 or 8, quitting time.
I dozed until like 0700, and my computer had gone to 'sleep' which required me to log in again, but I screwed up my log in, three times, but having the caps lock on, and the computer locked me out.
I gave up, and headed home.
I fed the animals...took a shower, and joined Her in bed.
After some pillowtalk, we engaged in some of the ol in-out...  then got up and moving, as She had to get ready for work, and I went to the kitchen, and figured out something to eat...and read the newspaper...
And went to bed...
and slept.
And woke up, and slept
and woke up, and slept

Until about 22:15, when I got up long enough to have dinner,
and watch Fargo and Nurse Jackie,
Then went back to sleep, around midnight.

She did mention, at some point, that She was 'joking' about me getting a tattoo on my buttocks that read "Shilo" or somesuch.
Then She said, "We just can't afford it right now."


HsLS  14
HsLO  384
HsLD  133
H UN  443
Her DO ?  Yes

from One Woman's Tips to make Him a Submissive Man

You should cum MUCH more than he does. That goes without question; his submissiveness definitely translates into YOU cumming more. You need to teach him how to orally please you,  better and as often as you like. I know this may seem odd, but a tongue up your ass will feel great, and he wants to do it for you, so tell him that is now a part of your oral pleasure. Of course, you do NOT "have" to do it for him.

from The House Rules

When Rule 6 applies, He must apologize for causing the misunderstanding. 

from Scriptures Pertinent to Submission

Psalms 119:48  I honor and love Your commands.

5.27 Diary

Off work, 08:32.
In car 847, and home 0937.
She was awake, at the computer, and gave me a happy greeting.
I feed the cats,  and started on my dinner, and reading the newpaper.
She left for work, around 1045 as I was heading to bed.

Awake around 15:00 as my bedroom had gotten quite warm, and I moved in to the living room, where it was some degrees cooler, into my reclining chair, and went back to sleep.
She arrived home, around 1700, and my alarm went off shortly thereafter.
I got up around 1720...
And showered and dressed, and got ready for work
And said goodbye...
In my car 1810,  arrived at work 1905... 'hit' the toilet, and clocked in around 1915.

A really uneventful night at work...
Around 3 a.m., She called me in a rage, as some person/woman on Fet had managed to grab three pictures of me (not my face, but other parts...) and posted them on 'her' profile.
She posted messages to this person to take them down.
Then She came into the sp-chat room, and vented about it, some more.
And said, that She decided, I should get a tattoo ... on my ass.
Something readily identifiable... just for such pictures, I suppose.
To which my response is:  Oh?  You decided that, did you?
Well, hmm.

I am ... tired (fatigued; I usually don't yawn at work, but I've been yawning so hard tonight, I think my jaw might break);  stressed;  depressed ....
I don't know what to do about anything.  I'm on autopilot, going through the motions of doing what I HAVE to do.
I'm in no mood for sex, no mood for spanking, no mood for "Yes Mistress No Mistress".
I just want everybody to leave me the fuck alone.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhh...

I doubt if it would work, anyway, and I doubt if I'd put up with it, to begin with.

from One Woman's Tips to Make Him a Submissive Man

Embarrassment is also part of the fun, obviously. Be careful not to embarrass him or yourself in front of friends or co-workers. This must be done carefully and for the fun aspect of your dominance. Ordering wine and his dinner at a restaurant is a simple start, and one he will enjoy. While with friends for drinks or dinner, whisper in his ear, "What do you think they would think knowing you're shaved, knowing I own your orgasms". After his yearly physical, ask him if the doctor said anything about being shaved. If he works out in a gym, ask him if other men are shaved and what they look like: are they big, circumcised, big balls, small balls, compare them to him. If you have one girlfriend you can trust,  arrange an "accidental" flash. Remember, it only appears as an accident to your girlfriend; your guy might not like it but he'll cooperate. He is in gym shorts and a tee shirt and that is it. You can grab him and tickle him in front of your friend, accidentally pulling down his shorts exposing him, then after all the hooting and hollering, pull them all the way down and step on them. He will have to step out and run. Remember, he knows this is coming so he may be erect, and of course he is shaved. You can have a quick laugh with your friend and tell her you better see if he is OK. Go to the bedroom, strip him, grab his cock and lead him back to your girlfriend, saying, "Well you have already seen him naked, you may as well get a better look." Doing the same thing in front of a couple would be more than twice as embarrassing. 

from The House Rules

If She is wrong, it is due to a flagrant misunderstanding, a direct result of something He said or did.

from Scriptures Pertinent to Submission

Psalms 119.16 Your laws make me happy; I never forget your word.

05.26 Diary

The morning guy came in around 0530.
Because the regular Monday guy is on vacation, this guy was covering. This guy works the overnight shifts that I do not work, so I don't see him much, for which I am very thankful.
He really rubs me the wrong way.
I was in a relaxed mood before he arrived, but an hour with him had me on edge again.

Out, 0630.
I'd been thinking all night, and I was still thinking and musing and pondering, on the way home.

I considered it, quite possible that She would be of a mind to do something about my outburst, the previous day.
And I knew, I was in NO mood.
When I write about mood, MY mood, I refer to both my physical state, as in how awake or tired I am, and in this case, my emotional state...  which currently was, still...like yesterday, shut down and depressed.
I also considered, with Stitch home for the holiday, maybe She would not be of a mind to, um, go nuts.

And one other little thing kept rattling about in my mind...
the building desire to renounce this whole lifestyle.
..to be part of a run-of-the-mill vanilla married couple (or threesome)(or foursome), with all the usual ups and downs and happy moments and sad moments that go with them...
..and to take all the  FLR-DD or M/s or BDSM trappings and protocols and rules, and pitch them into a back room of the garage.
 And into the dark closet of my mind, where I store all my fantasies.
I continued to ask myself, "Is this working for me?"
My outburst on Sunday... was that the real Me,  or was that a volcanic eruption of stuff that's been building up inside me?
Sometime ago, I unlocked my mental closet of fantasies, and took out the book in which I record them all.
I've gotten to experience some of them.
I've even been allowed to live in a 24/7 lifestyle some of them.
Which leaves me wondering, should I be content with what I have and what I get,
even though I feel the constant yearning for more, 
or should I pitch what I have, be happy with the experiences I did get to have, and put it all back in the closet, and leave it all in the fantasy in my mind's eye?
Is it nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them?

I am torn, ripped apart.

I am self-aware enough to know that I am depressed right now, and that I should not be making any major or life-altering decisions...    but this is just the way I feel right now.

Home 0715.
Stitch was up and about, in the kitchen.
I fed the cats, scooped the litter box, and was looking for a statement that She and I had discussed the night before, when She called, on my cell phone.
"Stitch told me you were home, you were supposed to come see me when you got home."
"I'm looking for that statement."
"Oh, okay..."
After a few minutes, I found it.
And half undressed, and went into Her room.
She invited me into bed, and I got in, next to Her.
We talked a bit.
"I can give you a medium spanking, if you like..."
"Um, no."
We continued laying there, until I said, "I need to get up and eat and go to bed."
She released me, and I got up.
..made dinner, ate while reading the newpaper, and in my room, in bed, 0900.
Awake around noon, up to pee, and have milk and cookies.
She was still home, at Her computer.  She and Stitch were going out, sooner or later.
I went back to bed.
Awake around four, needing to pee again, but continued laying there.
She and Stitch returned, around 5, and She came into my room, and lay down next to me, quietly, until about 1740, and we (even) argued about that.
"I just want to lie down next to you a bit."
"Don't wake me up early, my alarm is set for about 6."
"I'm just lying down next to you..."
"I'm just saying, don't wake me up before my alarm."
"I'm not waking you up, I'm just lying down..."
"I'm just saying, don't wake me up, later on..."
"I just want to lie down next to you..."
 Eventually we sorted it out.

She got up, 1740.
My alarm went off, 1755, and I got up, 1803
Toilet...shower...dress...  made coffee,  said good bye, and
in my car 1845.
Nothing like a holiday...at work  1918 or so.
Easy night...  helping my co-worker some, with set up for tomorrow, but no major challenges...
Until 0300, when the phone calls would not stop, for 30 minutes.

HsLS  159
HsLO  336
HsLD  85
H un  395
Her DO  No
Did I offer?  No

from One's Woman's Tips to Make Him a Submissive Male
A nude beach can also be fun. He will be naked, of course, and you should be in your swim suit to emphasize his submissiveness.  Remember, he is shaved, so anyone who sees the two of you walking together knows who is in charge.  How embarrassing would an erection make this? The object hee is to be seen by as many as possible, so walk, don't just sit in the sun. Well, you CAN sit on the beach and enjoy the sun, but not until everyone has seen him naked.

from The House Rules
She is never wrong.

from Scriptures Pertinent to Discipline
Proverbs 23:13  Do not withhold discipline from a child.  If you punish with a rod, he will not die.

05.25 Diary

Awake around 10:30, with Her asking me if I wanted crepes with strawberries, crepes without, or pancakes with strawberries, or without.
I chose pancakes, without.
I groggily sat up,  with Stitch at the door, asking, "How many?"
"Two."
I got up, went to the toilet, opened the front door, picked up the newspaper, put it on the dining room table, went into the kitchen, danced around Her while She was making pancakes to pour some coffee, and She handed me a plate with two cakes on it...and I went to the table and sat down.
Not at my 'usual' place, which has been at the short edge of the rectangular table, facing west, but just around the corner from that spot, to my right, facing south.
I began separating the paper: the parts I wanted to read,  and pulling out the ads I thought of interest to Her, and laid those to my right, where I thought She would sit.
She came to the table to sit there, picked up the flyers I had set aside there for Her, and tossed them back into the pile of newspaper.
"I made a point of setting those aside for you," I grumbled.
"Is it okay with you if I make myself a place to sit down?" She asked and yelled at the same time, in such a voice that I just ... snapped.
"I  don't  give  a  FUCK what  you  do,"  I said, slowly, in a low voice, enunciating each word.
After a quiet moment at the table, I picked up my coffee cup and the comics, and went to my bedroom, intending to read the funnies, and take a nap.
After a few minutes, She appeared at the doorway.
"I want to talk to you, come into the other bedroom."
"No."
"Come to the other bedroom!"
"If you want to talk to me, come in here."
"There is no corner in here for me to put you in."
"NOT going to happen."
She came into the room, sat on the bed.
"My intention is to put you in the corner, then spank you."
"Not going to happen, not today."
"What's ... going on?"
"Something about what you said, the way you said at the table...I just snapped inside, and now my emotional shields are up..."
"Oh.   You sat in my place at the table, instead of where you usually sit. I like that place because of the lighting, and it upset me when you sat there."
"Okay, Sheldon...."
She chuckled.
"Nothing is happening until my shield goes down...certainly not before work today, maybe by tomorrow."
"Okay...what now?"
"I'd like, a nap.  Pancakes make me feel heavy and sleepy."
"Okay."
It was 11:15 or so.
I slept til 1:15...and on to 1:30, when I had to get up, and start getting ready for work.
Toilet, shower, dress, make coffee, pack, toilet again,  remembered that the low-fuel light on my car was on...asked to borrow Her gas card, and did...
In car 14:07, went one mile the wrong direction to get to an appropriate gas station, filled up, and headed for work...
In at 15:07.

A night before a federal holiday..
There were 50 rides for today, I had 89 to look at for tomorrow's set up.
Basically, a non-challenge.

During the conversation in my room, She repeated something She said the day before:
"I am NOT locking you up until you've earned it."
I can see where that might sound ... odd... as a lock-up would often be considered a punishment, but She is making it sound like a reward.
Well, for me, it would be a reward, because... I actually do want it.
However, there have been a LOT of things lately that I want, and I'm not getting.
Right now?  I ... just ... don't... care.



HsLS  135
HsLO  312
HsLD  61
Hun  371
Her DO? no
Did I offer?  no

from One Woman's Tips to Make Him a Submissive Man
Arrange to have him naked, outdoors.  Out in your front yard, or get in the car, go for a ride, have him as the passenger, get undressed, and ride around.  

from The House Rules
If She suspects that He knows the Rules, She must change some or all of them.

from Scripture Pertaining to Discipline
Psalms 89:32  I will visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes.

05.24 Diary

Awake, 0930.
She offered a spanking... I declined.
Up for breakfast and pills and coffee.
And dressed for hard labor.
I started with, trimming the hedges protruding into the driveway, and scratching Her car as She pulled into it.
Stitch came out to rake and bag the clippings, while I went down the sidewalk, to start trimming back the thorny red bushes with red flowers that were growing out into the middle of the sidewalk in various places.
Stitch started to rake and bag the clippings, and once I was done with the shears, I joined him, until it was all bagged or boxed.
Then I began the fence-painting project, with Stitch's help.  I painted the outside of the fence, while he painted the same parts of the inside.
There are main posts, that are implanted into the ground with a number of pickets in between, and each section from post to post, is about 8' long.  We painted the front gate, and five sections.  I counted another five sections remain on the south side of the house, and nine sections to be painted on the west side, and I don't know how many along the northwest corner, or even if I can get to those, as they are covered by trees.
Anyway, this project will take a while.
She went out shopping while we were painting.
It was a very overcast, almost gloomy, day, and we called it a 'wrap' just before 5 pm, and I gathered up the supplies, and went about clean- and wash-up.
Exhausted, I sat down in my chair, and closed my eyes.
After a bit, She came in the front door.
"You guys DEAD or what?  I've been honking out front, need help with this stuff..."
I got up, and Stitch came in behind me, and we went to Her car, and toted in groceries and other supplies.
I assisted in putting the stuff away, and sat back down.
Then She sat down in Her chair, and started to doze off.
I called Mom, and left another message.
She called back, twenty minutes later, and we talked a bit.
Then I tried to nap a bit more,  but sleep was not coming.
I got up, while She continued sleeping, and began my next project...
Putting up curtain rods...  over the kitchen window, over the kitchen door window,  over the dining room window, and finally over the front door window.
Done with that,  and I took a long hot shower.
Then I sat at Her computer, and began another task She requested of me: to register my numerous accounts on the computer, in such a way that She could log into them whenever.
With that accomplished,  I put together dinner, and excused myself to the bedroom, to eat and watch Nurse Jackie.
I watched two episodes, and was about to return my t.v. tray to the kitchen, when She started to come into the room, and She took my tray, and dropped it off, then came to the bedroom.
I had the tv tuned to SNL, as something that I would not pay any attention to, and She got in bed, and changed the channel to an old episode of Dexter,  and fell asleep around 0100.

Getting friendly?
My head is just not there.
Keepng busy, I keep moving.
Once I stop to give myself a chance to think,
 I feel stress or depression.

HsLS  111
HsLO  288
HsLD  37
Hun347
Her DO  No
Did I offer No

from One Woman's Tips to Make Him a Submissive Man
Nudity.  HIM naked, you dressed.  At awkward times, odd times, whenever you like, when he leasts expects it.  If he doesn't usually sleep naked, he should now. He should be naked anytime he is in your bedroom.  At some point, bring him to every room in the house, naked.  Lead him ..naked...by his cock to each and every room, so that all will hold memories of your control.

from The House Rules
He cannot possibly know ALL the rules.

from Scriptures Pertinent to Discipline
Proverbs 23:14  Punish them with a rod, and save them from death. 

5.23 Diary

Channel surfing, She found a bizarre movie called "Teeth",  about vagina dentata.
I watched it with Her, and we went to sleep, 0230.

One might ask...or rather, She might ask, or even, She HAS asked, why am I not showing any kind of inclination towards 'getting friendly'?

THIS is going to be a recurring theme over this weekend, during which we had no plans or events or dinners or parties, so we were home, together, quite often, and yet.......

Well...quite simply, my current financial crisis has me paralyzed.
I can get through things that are more like an auto-pilot, whether it be driving, or physical labor, or some such, but when I'm left alone to my thoughts... I freeze, I panic, or ...
I am simply becoming depressed, to the point of not caring.

Awake 0930.
I went to the toilet, fed the animals,  and She told me to come bedside, and get over Her lap... with my shorts off.
I did so, and She briskly applied ten smacks of a hairbrush to to each of my buttocks, four sets in all.
Then She said, "So, I was thinking,  all that other space in the other bedroom, I think I want the spanking bench moved in there.  Get on it."
I got up, and dutifully slid the spanking bench from a corner of the dining room, to an open spot in the other bedroom.
She watched, and said, "Get on it."
Still naked, I knelt on the bench.
She came up behind me, holding the zombie killer paddle.  
She applied 40 swats with it.
Then she left the room, and returned with the zombie killer pizza paddle,  similar to the other one, but wide and square, rather than long and skinny, and applied 40 smacks with it.
 'It' was INTENSE.
She even asked me, "You want me to not use it anymore?"
Well, no.  "Intense" is a good thing.  Better something I can feel, than something I'm bored with.
She took a bunch of pictures (at end of this post), and we started moving around,  getting dressed, drinking coffee, then went out to my car, to run a bunch of errands.
First to my workplace, to get my paycheck.
Then back home, because She wanted to use OUR toilet.   (51.5 miles)
Then, to the AAA office in LB (63 miles) to get new tags for Her car, and to get our separate memberships combined onto one.
Then, we drove through a BoxedJack;
Then, on to the VZW store near the LW mall,  where we combined our separate cell phone plans into one family plan.
Then, around the corner from there,  a branch of Her bank, to deposit my check, and some supermarket shopping.
Then, another stop at another market on the way, because eggs were cheaper there...
And home  (71 miles,  18:00)
Got the groceries in.....   I put my laundry, that I had done yesterday, away....
Cleaned the chamber pot ...   called Mom, left a voicemail....
Gave Cookie a bath....
Then dinner...
And I excused myself to my room to watch Nurse Jackie.
I watched two episodes...
And must have fallen asleep around 23:00.

Still, no sex, no thoughts about it. My mind is just not 'there'.

HsLS  87
HsLO  264
HsLD   13
HunL   323
Her DO  No
Did I offer?  No

from One Woman's Tips to Make Him a Submissive Man
Tease him. Deny him.  Keep him in a constant state of orgasm-denial.  He must learn to state when he is ready to cum, and ask you to stop. He must learn to masturbate for you, and stop.  Forbid all unsupervised masturbation.  He may only cum with your permission.  

from The House Rules
The Rules are subject to change anytime at all.

from Scriptures Pertaining to Discipline:
Proverbs 22:15  Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.

12.06 The Rules

These are interesting

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.....

Recently, Merry posted on Her blog,  'House Rules'.

One of them reads exactly like this, thanks to Control-C :

"Shilo will always be naked (socks optional) for beatings, discipline and/or punishment."

AND...
  I froze.
  First thought...."What the fuck.....?"
   Second thought...   "Oh YEAH?"
  Following thoughts....   "NAKED?"   "BEATINGS??"  "Punishment...Discipline?   What the fuck is this...?"

Now, this reaction on my part is really peculiar because....  ever since I started .... 'playing' with Merry, the play has been all about ...beatings  (punishment and discipline is surely how others would describe it) with me wearing ... minimal clothing, let's say,  and most often, being naked.
Right up to NOW,  like...oh   yesterday evening...  when I was told to 'get naked' (for the beating that I was about to get.) ...and just about every beating in recent memory that's preceded that one.
Frankly I prefer it that way   (ie to be naked for beatings) as I think it confirms the total power exchange, and, well, I'm not sure if She prefers it, or knows my preference for it, and so requires it.


So what's gotten my knickers in a twist, all of a sudden?

I do not know.

Just seeing 'the rule' in red and white electronic print, made it really strike home for me?

Or, an inner dislike for the words "discipline" and "punishment" ??

Did I happen to look down into my crotch, and notice that I've actually grown a pair?

Did this cement my Female Led Domestic Discipline lifestyle so firmly in my head,  that my back started bristling, as maybe I think my 'manhood' is at risk?

Or am I confused, because....\
   I like being told what to do...........
   But I've lived alone for so long, that I'm simply not accustomed to it.....

I just don't know.

I'm sure gonna have a lot to think about, on the way home.   

Should be some kind of house rule

I wish I could edit this to say:

                                       "Yes, Mistress"

House Rules

Recently, She posted on HER blog, a "House Rule"  sign,  specifically for me, and so I went and found these, and wonder if She thinks any might be appropriate for our soon-to-be-combined household:

House Rules #2

Actually, in MY house, it's  "Yes, Mistress."