Aug 13

So, She evidently read my 'open letter' sometime Tuesday morning, before taking R to work.
The plan, up to this point, was for Her to then bring my dog, Cookie, who had being staying at Her house for the weekend we were away, up to me.
No particular plan in place from there:  sometimes these morning get togethers lead to...something, sometimes something else, and sometimes, nothing.
Anyway, around 06:45, about when She would usually be in Her car, with R,  She sent me a text:  Just relax, everything's going to be okay."
..Well, sure, no problem.........

Protocol is for me to call Her at 0730, which should be after She has dropped R, and is on the road, either heading home, or my place, or ...wherever.
But I was... dead fuckin' tired.  Awake since 0500 the day before,  with little naps on the plane, at airports, at Her house.... I was dragging.
I text Her around 07:15: "I am drained,  going to sleep now, call me when you arrive, I'll come down."
She wrote back, "Sleep is a good idea."

I woke up, oh, 0930, and my phone wasn't where I had put it when I went to sleep, and I started rummaging around looking for it, under the bed, etc,  then I went to urinate, thinking I'd look for it when I got back.
And saw Her, sitting on the bed in the playroom.
"Oh...hi, can you call my phone, I have no idea where it is...?"
"I grabbed it, so it wouldn't wake you, I don't want you to look at the text I sent until I'm done..."
"Oh, okay...  going back to sleep now.."
After a bit, She came in, woke me up and asked me to look at the long text She sent (copy of, on other blog).

I see that She addressed my concerns about money.... physical limits...  meds... sex ...  poly vs mono...

But not my confusion about times when we are as a couple, an engaged couple, in love, and times when She is Mistress and i am slave, and so often I don't know how to act or respond. 

Anyway, then She lay down next to me, and we slept awhile,  until 3ish, when She got up, and had to go get R at work,  and I walked with Her downstairs.

I went back to sleep, awake with my alarm, 1800, and Her phone call...and got up, and spent a long time on the toilet.
Was able to get  up to walk Cookie, and shower...then back to toilet, where I was 'stuck' again.
I've had ongoing bouts with IBS.  Sometimes diarrhea, sometimes constipation, sometimes just going, and going....hasn't happened in awhile, and for the most part, I know it's brought on by stress and anxiety.
I called  the boss at work, that I was running about a half hour late
And arrived at work,  almost exactly half an hour late.

She had gone with R to the SB Munch, the one I went to, with Her, two months ago.
She told me by text, that H, the woman who will be alone in the house that we hope to move into, late September, is very excited,  and so from time to time, She will send R to stay with her, so that he can help her around the house, AND ride his bike to work.
I asked Her if She had fun, and saw our mutual friends C and L, and told everybody?
She said  yes.
I told Her that I DO have life insurance from work...up to now, I wasn't sure.  Now, I just need to change my beneficiary on it.
I can get Her on my medical insurance, pre existing conditions and all...but OMG the cost difference...
It'll go from $137 / month for just me, to $551 a month for US.
Well, it will NEED to be done.

Later a text:  "been home 15 minutes, and all hell has broken loose."
No explanation given,  and She never came on line for a chat to explain it.
No matter, I have been busy with actual worklike stuff.
I'm trying to stay on a 'need to know' basis, anyway.  If there's anything there I need to know, She'll tell me, otherwise...I don't need to know.

Later, She text:  "Internet not working"
  An ongoing problem with the wifi in Her room there,  just works then it doesn't.
 'Falling asleep, so very tired..."
"Good night."

Scoreboard:
cigarettes   5
Days since   27 1/4
Hours unlocked  106

I'm not locked because my junk was showing signs of abrasion created by the last device, so She is keeping me unlocked until it heals.   I am on my honor and promise not to masturbate in the meantime.
Will that be 'good enough',   or does She enjoy the control She has, by keeping me locked, that once healed, She'll want the device on me again?   I have no idea.   She keeps most of Her plans, ideas, thoughts, on matters such as these, and so many others, to Herself.

Such as this:
The week before we went on the trip, we were chatting online, and I thought we decided for the coming week that:
 Thursday morning, after I get off work, and take care of stuff at home, I would put Cookie in the car, and come to Her house, spend Thursday night, and Friday daytime...  go with Her and R to the LB evening meeting/dinner,  drive straight from there to my house, catch up on episodes of Dexter on my DVR.... take R home, Saturday morning,  put Cookie in the car, return--just Her and me, separate cars, to my place for the rest of Saturday, Saturday night....   go to service at my church Sunday morning, then the HSG party in the afternoon, then  She would go home from there, while I go to work.
But...after we got back to Her place on Monday, She explained the plan to R like THIS:
  I will wait til Friday to come to Her place...  then go to the meeting/dinner in LB, return to my place, watch Dexter, take R home on Saturday, return to my place in two cars,  spend the night, etc.... through Sunday evening... so, same plan but without the Thursday part.
It would seem Her unilateral decision was based on, since She would be with me on Saturday night, She should be home alone with R on Thursday.
So it would seem I am only allowed time with Her, two nights a week,  either Thursday and Friday,  or in this case, Friday and Saturday... and only one of those nights, would we be alone.
...Along with daytime Tuesdays, it seems.

Meanwhile, an interesting Munch has popped up for Thursday night. from the LICK group, during which there will be a discussion on managing poly in a D/s relationship.
And it's right down the street from Her house.
Easy for Her to get to, and I suppose I could attend the Munch, then go back home from there.

Waiting to see if She is interested.