Nov 20 Diary

Home, sometime after 07:00.
She was already up, getting out of the shower, getting ready for .... ?
I started my chores,  glanced into Her room, and saw Her wearing  some very alluring stretchy red panties, quite a difference from Her usual tighty-pinkies.
I said, "Nice panties..."
She said, "Just for you....after your shower, get in here."
I finished chores, stripped down, found some panties to take with me, and went to the bathroom, and showered...and dried, and dressed....
And entered Her room, and saw Her wearing a long red dress, and I was wondering if She had a job to go to, or an interview, or a date....
She said, "It's a special occasion."
I started thinking, and wondering if I had missed an anniversary...  First date, June 1... our first sex, July 2;  engaged, July 21... married, Sept 14....  my first orgasm during intercourse,   Sept 21...   no, nothing was coming to mind.
And, I've been with Her long enough to know,  She gives out as much information as She's going to give.
If She was going to elaborate on the special occasion, She would have, so no point in me asking further.
She sat at Her desk chair, and told me to come to Her.
I did, and She began stroking my scrotum and balls through and around the cage that enclosed my cock.
Then She said, "Go get three implements, and return."
1
"My choice...?"
"Yes, but I don't guarantee I will use all the ones you choose. Put on your panties before you walk through the house."
I put on my panties, went to my room, and selected Paddle-1, Paddle-3, and Crop,  and returned to Her room.
2
And immediately removed the panties, and handed Her the implements.
She took them from me with a nod, and said, 'Bend over the bed.' 
As I did so, She added instructions....  feet on the floor,  head down.
In position, I waited... while She continued with a game on Her computer.
3
She got up.... and behind me, and applied the crop to my buttocks for... awhile, I wasn't counting.
She stopped and said, "Don't get up, I'm not done." And She returned to Her computer.
She got up again, and behind me, and applied the large paddle to my buttocks.
......The door to Her room was open, and Her large black dog, Fi, was constantly wandering in an out. 
When She started using the paddle,  Fi started barking and growling at Her.  At one point, I felt Fi...or her fur coat, under and in between my legs.   Merry tried hitting me butt with Her hands, and Fi had no comment, but when She used the paddle, Fi growled and barked.  Finally, Merry had to put her outside the room, and close the door. 
And stopped, and said, "...Not done yet...."
And I waited, as She returned to the computer.
Then She returned,  and applied the small paddle to my buttocks.
Then I heard clicks, as She took pictures with the camera on Her phone.
4
She told me to stand up, turn around, sit down, lay back.....
She unlocked the side lock on my cock cage....and began stroking my penis, even sucking on it, til it was as full as it could get, while still having the ring around the base....
She pulled Her panties down, and off, got on the bed, straddling my face in a 69 position, allowing or requiring me to lick Her pussy and clit a few minutes, while saying, "Don't make me cum, or you will regret it."
She got off me, went to the edge of the bed, straddled me, and lowered Her pussy onto my cock... pushed down once, then up, then down, then up...and off...   then repeated that.... and asked "How do you like it?"
I said, "Oh, I so want to feel more of my hard cock inside your wet pussy."
She said, "That is all you are getting....stand up.:"
5
I did so. 
She went to the kitchen, returned with an iced coffee that She had purchased for me, sometime previously.
"Drink this. Your cock better be down when you are done, because I'm locking it back in the cage, regardless."
I finished it, and my cock was limp, and I went to Her, and She reset the lock on the coffin-side of my cock cage.
"Get back over the bed."
I went to the bed, and bent over it.
And waited.
And really felt ... the anticipation, the trepidation of whatever might be forthcoming.
I can take ...just about anything (in regards to ...bottom beatings)...  once I've gotten the first stroke or smack.   But waiting for the first one... not knowing when it's coming...  I really thought She was behind me...   until I turned my head slightly, and saw that She was still at Her desk.   Then I heard Her footsteps and knew She was up, and behind me....   and I felt the paddle smacking my buttocks.
"Not done yet..."  She said, returning to Her chair.
I waited.
She returned,   to apply more paddle strokes.
And said, "Now, get up."
I did,  as She sat down, and I stood in front of Her.
She reached out, and fondled my junk, inside and around the cage.
"Now, then the special occasion...."
She paused, I waited.
"You bought this device without asking me, without consulting me. I DO like it, it is definitely different and unusual...  but, you did not consult with me. You must learn fiscal responsibility.  To ensure you understand that this will be the last device you buy, without consulting me, you are going to wear it for a very long time.  What is the longest I've kept you locked up, so far?"
"Mmm..   ten days, a week, not sure without checking my notes..."
"Say, a week.  This is going to be much longer."
 6
I've checked my records.  From the end of July to early August, there was a twenty-three day period when I was locked up.   Many of those days, I was unlocked for a brief period, or overnight, or for half a day,  but there were also 13 days of  being locked, 24/7. 

I did not say anything, in reply to this, nor did She insist on a reply, such as by asking, "Do you understand?"

I think She knows..... that, when I do not reply, I am .... processing thoughts or I am struggling with emotion.
In this case, I was very close shutting down, emotionally... as what I was feeling was...anger.
A feeling of anger, a wanting to rebel, to say, "what the fu....!"
And since then, I've tried to figure out why I was feeling that...and I believe I've figured it out.
This 'sentence' felt like punishment.  And, to my understanding, punishment is given for breaking rules.
We had no rule in place to cover this, so why am I being punished for breaking a not-yet-existing rule?
However, my understanding is that punishment is also something given in such a fashion that the recipient does not ever want a repeat of it, and thus the punishment is a deterrent to that rule, or any rule, being broken.
And, let's face it.... if you've read my blog for, oh, five minutes, then you know, I am fascinated by chastity, in some kind of love-hate kind of way.  Ergo, this treatment does not qualify as 'something that I would not like to have repeated'.  
So, I've figured out, this is discipline.  Discipline can be used....among many things ...as a method for teaching / learning ... such as "Here's a new rule, and this is how I'm going to ensure you learn this rule."
Once I sorted that out in my head ...and heart.... the anger I had felt, dissipated,  and I was able to reinvoke my submission, my ability to accept what I am given, without question.

 Then She said, "I'm done with you.  Go have your meal, go to bed."
I turned, and put on my panties, and went to the kitchen, put together dinner-fast, or break-ner,  and went into my room, and ate, while watching the last half of a L&O: SVU that I had started, a week prior.

I finished...and lights out.... 10:00 I think.
She joined me in bed at some point, but did not make enough noise to really wake me.
She was up, 2-ish, as She had to pick up a son, and take him to a doctor and etc....  which meant, She wouldn't be home anytime before I was up and out and heading to work.
She dressed, and left, and I sorta kinda went back to sleep until 1645.
I got up and moved and showered and dressed....as R arrived home from work.
He and I were talking in the kitchen, and I said, "Lemme show you something...."  and I pulled down my pants and showed him the device on my cock, and I said, "She put this on me yesterday, and this morning, She said, 'It's going to be on for a very long time...."
He nodded, and said, "Does it hurt?"
...Just like a noob.
"You know, if these hurt, not many guys would put up with them.   Think of them as ...underwear.  If too tight, they pinch....if too loose, they sag and bunch up.  With the right fit, you don't notice. And that's how it is with these."
"Oh, I always thought they were like a  ...tube...right on the penis."
I looked at him, strangely, and he said, "That's the first one I've actually seen."
I looked at him again. "You haven't seen the ones on me?"
"No,  She has talked about them, but I've not seen one..."
"Oh."   I took him to my room, and showed him my collection,  and gave him an idea of how each one fit on....   then I told him the story of leaving the CB-6000 in the hotel room in StL, which he thought, quite amusing.
And I packed my stuff, made coffee, went to my car, and headed to work, leaving home about 18:10...
and arriving about 1950.....fukkin traffic!

At work.... not much drama or stress....yet.

I will do another post, after this one,  for feedback and grades.... and another post for .... variations.

Hr since last orgasm   206
hrs since last attempt 96
hrs since discipline   15
Hrs locked up 30 1/2

 7.