on Grades... and other thoughts

Since we began TSW paradigm, She has asked me for a 'grade'.... 3 times, I think.

Each time, I've given Her an "A".
...which generally means, no improvement needed, or some such.
And that has been the case. 
But I have not given Her an A+, as in, perfect.

Fact is, I should give Her an A+(almost) overall, for the trip to my parents.
She did a wonderful time of 'making do' during the private times we could steal from time with my parents.
There were a couple times when I either was in no mood for, or not expecting, a beating, and She told me to get ready for it, and gave me one anyway.     As it should be!  Not my choice, Hers.

She always demanded I be naked.  Briefs down NOT enough, must be ...off....so that I am naked.
   As it should be.

I'm not thrilled about this position---
She really seems to like.....Her, sitting on the bed, back against the headboard, legs extended and spread enough, for me to lay over Her lap, with my junk between Her legs.
It's intimate, yes, but it just doesn't do much for me as a submissive.
Better is when She says, FDAU, which means, face down and ass up, with my ass to Her, for Her viewing or beating pleasure.
('tho She told me, She derives no, or little, pleasure from looking at my ass, specifically between my butt cheeks,  which is interesting....I would dearly love to have some time just .... looking at Hers.
But then, I have a serious anal fetish, and She does not.)
A preference for me would be classic OTK, with Her on a chair, and me draped over Her lap.... but given the infrequency with which we've done that, I gather it doesn't do much for Her.
Next preference:  bent over the back of a chair, hands on the seat of the chair.
I did get a bit of that position for caning.....mmmmm, and owwwwch.
  Speaking of, writing about, caning.... maybe it's ...my bottom, but I still have yet to get the kind of caning that leaves horizontal stripes on my bottom.   Perhaps if I get a caning with no warm up first....
Or...bent over a bed.    Did not do that in MS; She started to have me in that position after we got home, but She got sidetracked by wanted to clean my ass crack.

I really liked a text She sent me, while we were there:
   "Get naked, and have the wooden paddle ready."
There wasn't really time for anticipation -play, while we were there.
Well, She could have been creative....   maybe, while we were out to dinner, or watching tv,  sending me a text, or whispering in my ear, "When we go to the bedroom,  I want you to strip immediately,  you're getting at least 30 with the spoon."
 That would be 'fun' to spend time thinking about.
More anticipation - play ...is my desire.

WHEN we have time...... jeez.
We got home Monday...I went to work....
Looks like, I'm working every night through Thursday, then we leave Friday morning....come back Sunday night, and I go straight to work from the airport....

on crime and punishment:
I know She has 'thought' about this, because She wrote THIS on Her blog:
"Shilo has somehow decided that he will get a 'free pass' for any misbehavior,  or so it seems. He's done a few things without asking or even bothering to consult with me...."

Well, no, I did not assume I was getting a free pass.  Nor did I think I was misbehaving, for two of the three things I can think of,  and I simply wasn't thinking at all...or I was just rationalizing.... during the 3rd.
What am I talking about?
1.   Verbally Outing Little S to my parents.
2.    Changing my FB status in such a way that J would be, in some fashion, outed to a specific circle of friends.
3.  Masturbating.

In the cases of 1 & 2, we don't have specific 'rules' in place.
Is punishment justifiable for breaking rules not yet in existence?
Maybe, in the household of TSW.
On the other hand, as She will ask, How do I punish a pain slut?
Does She give me a whipping, far beyond what I've had before....  just for these?
Or, as we still are trying to get settled in this dynamic..... it might be better to simply establish rules right now:
 One might be:   Any changes to any profiles on any sites must have My approval.
 Another might be:   Do not discuss the reality of Little S with anybody who is not already aware without My prior approval."

Next is 3, about which we DO have specific rules in place, and I ...broke them.
This one is a 'big no-no'.   We've been concentrating, for a while, on me conditioning myself to cumming via intercourse, and not via masturbation.   Letting myself do this was taking an easy way out. 
 I should have / should be  'punished'.
Yet, she decided to 'give it a pass'.   (after asking me of my opinion).
Because we were at my parents, because it was still, sort of, my birthday, because She's kind of at a loss on how to punish a painslut....  ?
She could say, "I am NOT going to beat you until I'm sure you've learned your lesson about this..."
  which I would not like, but it takes away from Her pleasure, too.
Better, perhaps, to find something closer to the nature of the crime.  Such as:
A full-time chastity device... and not just for a 'few days' either.
Daily unlocking and teasing....  then icing it down, or whatever it takes, to get it back in the cage.
Meanwhile, She still gets Her pleasure....She even told me, Her favorite way of getting that pleasure is via oral.
Don't tell me for 'about' how long, or the intended release date.
That represents one of my 'fears' regarding chastity,  and so I would not derive much pleasure from this punishment.  
 Which is the idea, right?
An experience that one does not want to repeat,  as the consequence of unwanted behavior, and a deterrent from repeating that behavior.....





   

Nov 11

Around  00:45, She looked at the clock, and said, "It's still your birthday ..at home..." and She picked up the wooden spoon, "Get ready..."
And She whacked my inner thighs.
Then I gave Her oral service, which led to WinKing....  until I 'lost it',  and we managed to go to sleep...around 0145.

The alarm went off at 0600: I got up, walked across the room to turn it off...and jumped back into bed, and stayed there til 0636.
And...we began scrambling...    Shower for me, and Her... packing....  etc....
Bags in car..... and rolling about 0730.
I had Little S with me in the car all the way to MSY, then she fell asleep for the last 10 minutes or so.
We arrived curbside about 0855; I woke Her up, and Little S was gone, this was J.

We checked in curbside, got wheelchair in fairly good time....  enough time, that once we cleared security and were hanging around the gate, I pushed Her around for a tour of the shops in the concourse, before settling back at the gate, waiting boarding.

We boarded.... and both of us napped on and off the whole flight.   She read the book when She wasn't napping, I read the USA Today, a little pleasure when I'm on trips away from home.

On the ground in LA at 12:30.
A bit of a wait to get the wheelchair service at the gate.... 
Then on down to baggage claim....   then a walk across the streets, and upstairs,  to the car, by which time it was  13:30....and we headed home, arriving 14:00 or so.
I began unpacking,  and going through mail.
A couple of packages came in for me.
She came in and asked, "Whatdidya get?"
One package contained 100 or so numbered-plastic-security locks for chastity devices.
The other package contained....3 wooden paddles.

A bit later, She said, "I'll use one of those paddles on you now, if you're up for it."

......um...   "I'm in the middle of unpacking, so......"
"Do this NOW, and you choose the paddle. Do it later, and I choose the paddle."
"Um...do you want me naked?"
"Of course."
"Give me two minutes."
"Don't dawdle!"

In my room...I stripped ...to socks.
   Socks SEEMS to be acceptable wear while being 'naked'.  We have bare dirty concrete floors, so when told to 'get naked', She has not made comment of it when I retained socks.
I returned to Her room, carrying the paddle on the left as shown in the picture.
First She had me standing against the edge of Her bed, bending over...
But after taking a look between my cheeks, She decided She wanted to do some cleaning first, and told me to get ON the bed, 'FDAU'.
I did, and She procured wipes, and cleaned my crack to Her satisfaction.
Then, using the paddle, put some real color in my cheeks and thighs.

Then, after a few minutes of oral service, She released me to go continue with whatever I was doing.

I finished unpacking, etc,  then had a snack, while reading a couple days of newpapers, and went down for a nap, around 15:30,  which did not stop Her from coming in to tell me what She was doing with  my profile on Facebook.
My alarm went off at 1700; She came in at 1709 to see if I was awake, and was I sure that I did NOT need Her to drive me to work...(yes).
Evidently, another beating was not on Her agenda; She even said, that She was NOW going to take the nap that She had not had yet.
I got up, and put the shower back together (long story.... it had been stripped down for painting, but the painter did not paint, and left it like that) and took a shower....
Stripped my bed, and got the sheets in the washing machine...and made coffee...
and kissed Her goodbye, as She dozed...
And was in my car at1820.
EZ ride on the 710 then the 10.   I thought I was gonna be EARLY.
Then I hit the 101....  very very slowly.
It was grind all the way on the 101....
Such that I arrived at work at 19:25.

And on several occasions throughout the night,  had myself convinced, that this is SUNDAY night.

as of midnight
HSLO  33
HsLA   22 1/2
HsLB    9
H Unl  227

A Strict Wife

as I begin the adventure of having a Mistress...who is also my wife... aka A Strict Wife....

I post these images as possibilities of what the future may hold for us.

In our house, I have to be naked, but this still looks effective

I've been in a similar situation, at a spanking party, when She let a friend 'help'

She takes this control whenever She desires it

She's done this once... I hope for more

Indeed, I have been locked up to 'avoid temptation'.  And it's true, my pleasure belongs to Her

I can just imagine, standing naked in front of Her, waiting for Her to finish what She's doing.

Naked and over Her lap.  Does it get better?

Naked, over the bed, for the paddle.  I've been there.

Naked and caned in the kitchen. Looks painful!

An OTK spanking,with an audience.  OH, the shame!

Oh no! Taking down my pants while a friend watches!

Naked, over Her lap, while a friend has a belt ready. Oh my!

Bent over a chair, for a paddling and a lecture.

Made to strip in front of Her friends for a paddling. How embarrassing!

"Strip, bend over, grab your ankles!"

"That's it, lick it ALL out!"

"When you're done with that, go get the waffle paddle."

"Twice a day, ladies, and he is VERY obedient."

"Doesn't he look adorable?"

"After I'm done talking, I'll finish with a paddle."

"Quit wiggling around, and do not clench your cheeks!"

Naked, over a stool, paddled....  ouch.

Once, She told me to prep myself this way.  Things didn't quite work out during that session.

Over Her lap, while She administers it. How humiliating.

Naked, listening to the lecture, waiting for the punishment to begin.

Nov 5 ......enter The Strict Wife

Home, 7ish....  took care of morning chores, as She slept.

In the shower...but I left the door to the bathroom on, and did not turn on the fan in the bathroom, and so the steam from the shower set up off the smoke detector...  so much for climbing in bed with Her while She was sleeping.

As I was fanning the smoke detector to try to get it to shut up, She came along from the direction of the kitchen, smiled, and went back into bed.  I finished up, and climbed in, next to Her.
She had just started to read my last blog entry, and put down the phone, and I told Her, go ahead and finish, I can wait, so She did so. She finished, and put down Her phone.
We began getting friendly....  as Her top came off, Her panties came down and off, and I gave Her nether regions some oral treatment,  and in a very few minutes, She was ready, and pulled me up to mount Her.
We bonked for some minutes, and She whispered, "If you're not ready to cum NOW, I need to pee..."
I got off Her, and She got up, and peed, and returned very quickly.... and I mounted Her again.
And, in some minutes, glory be, I came, my cock spewing into Her pussy.
As I've mentioned, IF I cum inside Her while not wearing a cover on my cock, then it's my duty to lick my cum out of Her pussy.
And I do not consider this a duty, but a privilege, a treat.
I slipped down, between Her thighs,and began to do so.
After some minutes, She pulled me up, sat up, told me to lay flat, on my back.... and She straddled my head, spreading Her thighs across my face, pushing Her crotch down on my mouth, and I continued to lick Her there.
And She said, "Mistress has taken over, your wife would not do this."
She got off me, and said, "I read your blog, and I think I have it figured out. Up to now, I've been your wife, who is also your Mistress. But what you want me to be is your Mistress, who is also your wife."
"That sounds...correct, Mistress Merry."
"Then, I shall endeavor to do my best to be just that, for you.  Go to your room, get the waffle paddle, and sit on the bed, and wait for me. I'll be there in just a few minutes."
I went to my room, and picked up the waffle paddle, easily my least favorite instrument of ass destruction, and sat on the edge of the bed, and waited for Her.
She entered, took the paddle from me, and said, "Choose, One or Two."
"Two."
"Oh, bad for you.  One meant, the side of this paddle with the dull studs, two means the side with the sharp studs.  Now then..."
She sat on the bed, Her back against the headboard, Her legs stretched out....  and said, "Get over here."
I went to Her, climbed over Her lap, with my junk hanging between Her spread legs.... and She began beating my buttocks and thighs with the paddle.
There was minor blood letting from the sharp studs, and She had me kneel in front of Her, while She cleaned it up.
Then She had me get face up, over Her lap, and beat my thighs with the paddle, enough to break skin, but not enough for blood flow.
And ...we talked.
Well, it's more like, She talked,  and I mostly said, "Yes, Mistress Merry", "Of course, Merry."
She said, now that She has an idea of what I what, She will do Her best to give it to me.  She might / will make mistakes, She might / will fuck up, but She will be trying Her best to accommodate me,  and that it's very important that I give feedback, let Her know, how I'm feeling, if there's anything She's doing that I feel bad / good  about.
She said, "There will be house rules, do you want me to write them down?"
"Not yet, until I hear them, anyway."
"Here's the first one....  WHEN you go to sleep, you will wear briefs that cover your buttocks. No thongs, no jock straps, no open-bottom briefs.  Your bottom must be covered."

Well, I am not fond of 'arbitrary'.  In fact, I rebel against it.  Give me a sound reason for rules, and I'm content, so I asked, "May I ask, why?"
"For one, sometimes, like now, there's blood on your bottom, and we don't want it on the sheets.  For another, I sleep in panties, because I don't like having my bottom uncovered, and I want yours covered, also."
"May I add, that sometimes, I'm not real careful in cleaning my ass, and we want to avoid skidmarks?"
"Yes, that's a good reason, too."

Anyway, She did not say, has to be blue briefs on Tuesday, and red briefs on Wednesday.
So, it's not arbitrary, and I shall abide by it.

"Now, you are free to do what you need to do....make something to eat, and go to sleep."
I got up, and started to pull on the long underwear that I've been sleeping in.
"No," She said, "Those are pants, not underwear."
I started to protest, and stopped myself, and went to a drawer, and produced a pair of tighty-whities, and drew them on, then I put on the long underwear, and a long sleeved top.
"I'll be going to the other room to take a nap."
I looked at Her in surprise, and She added, "I have errands to go on, and I don't want to bother you with my coming and going, you need your sleep."
I nodded in understanding, and went to the kitchen, to put together breakfast/dinner.
I returned to my room, and watched the new episode of Comic Book Men while I ate.
Off to sleep, 11:00, with my alarm set for 17:00.

She came in around 13:00. Whether I was just kind of awake, or She woke me up, I don't remember.
"Lick my pussy..." She said.
I was groggy, so I don't know if the tone of voice was a question, or an order, but I still mumbled, "Okay."
Bottomless, She got on the bed, on Her back, and spread Her legs, and I gave Her oral for just a couple minutes, until She moaned...and said, "That's enough, thank you, go back to sleep."
And I did.

Alarm at 17:00,  upright at 17:09.
She came in, and said, "Go to the bathroom."
I did...and returned; She was waiting for me, seated on the bed.
"Take off your clothes, please."

**** I thought it odd, in this context, that She said, 'Please'.   She is always very polite, with 'please' and 'thank you' but in this setting, it just seems out of place. 
Also, saying 'take off your clothes' seems so ... colorless. 
Perhaps, saying a simple 'Strip' or 'Get naked' would have a more chilling effect on me.

I ... stripped... and climbed over Her lap, and She beat my buttocks with...well, I don't know what, I did not see what She held in Her hand.
Then She had me turn over, so that I was sitting upright, still in Her lap, and we talked a bit.
She told me to expect this as a routine, that after a bottom spanking, we would do some talking about things, before She finished with a top side beating.
We talked about cross-dressing... my desires, how I felt about it.
I asked, "Well, for example...?"
"For example, if I had you dress in a skirt, or dress, and take you out in public, would you like that, would it bother you?"
Outside of my workplace, and with my parents, it would not bother me; in fact, it would make me feel good.
Cross-dressing appeals to my feminine side, my submissive side....
And it relates to my early fantasies about spanking, and being spanked, and most of the images I looked at in magazines were of female spankees, so I got into cross-dressing as a way of acting out a fantasy of being a female spankee.
I don't have transgender desires.  I am comfortable in my masculinity. I just have a feminine side that wants to come out.
Then, She beat my thighs with the back-scratcher stick.
Then, She sent me on my way to take a shower, and get ready to go to work.
Which I did.
And after saying, Goodnight, Good bye, to all,  I was on my way, about 1830.
Traffic snarls on the 710...  easy ride on the 10...traffic snarls on the 101...
I arrived about 19:50.
...to the what seems to be nightly stress of relieving the rookie working here, and trying to get the night work covered.

She wrote a blog entry titled "What a Slave Wants",  and reading it, I could see that She really is understanding me.

For today, sex with my wife that resulted in a rare cumming for me, and a morning and evening beating from my Strict Wife.  What more could I ask for?
If that was a real question, I do have real answers.
But I believe that anything else I could ask for, I will get, in its proper time.

Hr SLO  15
Hr SLA  15
Hr SL B  6 1/2
Hr UNlocked  33

as it should be.