Showing posts with label Grades. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grades. Show all posts

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Nov 20.... Feedback and/or grades

(referring to the Red numerals on the previous post)

1. 
 The subject  here is Verbal Communication.
So much of what we do...what She does to me ... is assumed or known to us both without anything being said.
When She says, "Take 'em down," I know what it's for.  When She says, "Get naked," I know why. When She says, "Go get three implements," I know what She's going to do with them.
BUT
What boy would not have some fear struck into his heart, hearing words like, "I'm going to give you such a beating..."
And I don't believe I've every heard Her say something like that...from our first play date, when we were at a dungeon, and we found an open bench, and She said, "Well, get undressed..."
From then and since, all the activity has been assumed,  from the moment She's told me to get undressed.
So, yes, it would be interesting to have Her say, "I'm ready to beat your bottom red. Go get three implements..."
Or, as we go along:  "Stay put.  I'm not done beating your ass."
Or, "Your ass is a lovely shade of red, and I'm not through beating it yet..."
Or, as I'm getting up in the afternoon, and She comes in to my room:  "Stand up, take those down, and bend over.  I'm going to give your ass a whipping."
  INC OR NO GRADE ...can't justifiably give a grade on a subject that hasn't been hashed out or taught.

2.  Choice....She gave me a choice of what implements I picked.  This is interesting, as I kinda know what implements hurt the best on me.  On the other hand, I also like it when She takes control, and chooses the implements Herself.  
Well, as long as it's mixed up, alternating, sort of, between Her choices and mine, I'm good.
 In conjunction with this, is the few minutes I spent, going to get the implements, looking at them, thinking about what effect they would have on my buttocks....  
 However, if She had said, "Go get three implements for me to beat your bottom with...", I would have had even more to think about....
A+

3.  on 'waiting'
 She had me bend over...and wait.  She used the crop....then had me wait for.  She used the paddle...and had me wait for more. 
 She must have read my blog, and understood.  Thank you, Merry!
A+

4.  on taking Pix.
 She took pix, without a word from me about it.  Pretty good ones, too!
 She read my blog, and understood.     Thank you, Merry!
A+

5.   on Tease and Denial
 She unlocked me, She got me worked up, She got my penis hard,  She let my penis feel the warmth and moisture between Her thighs....  then She left me hanging, yearning for more.   Oh, Gawd....
 Thank you, Merry!
A+

6.  on being Locked Up.
 Telling me that I was to remain locked up...for an indeterminate time (or rather, not telling me for how long, other than a very long time) ... along with the lecture about fiscal responsibility....
I had an poor emotional reaction to it.... which I was able to adjust to a good reaction.
This is what it's about, having a reaction, feeling SOMETHING...  and then, finally....giving in,  allowing my submission to Her authority to take over, and admit, "I agree with whatever You think is best."
A+

7.  on the Beating, itself:
  The pictures tell the story. My bottom was quite red, from the top curves and down the thighs.
 I felt it, felt it good.  I was nowhere near a 'yellow' much less a 'purple'; nowhere near subspace, but I felt the burn for a while afterwards.  Thank you, Merry!
A+

Others not numbered:
  on CFnm:   She wore the red dress, while I was naked, throughout the session.
 I love this aspect, because it eliminates...almost ...the idea in my head of this being foreplay, prior to sex: that THIS is only about Discipline.  
A+

on Position:
  Bent over the bed,  legs spread, feet on floor, head down on the bed.  
  Just a great position!
  Made me think of, among other things, being a young boy,  bent over the bed, waiting for Mom to come in and paddle my bottom.
A+   

     



Tuesday, November 12, 2013

on Grades... and other thoughts

Since we began TSW paradigm, She has asked me for a 'grade'.... 3 times, I think.

Each time, I've given Her an "A".
...which generally means, no improvement needed, or some such.
And that has been the case. 
But I have not given Her an A+, as in, perfect.

Fact is, I should give Her an A+(almost) overall, for the trip to my parents.
She did a wonderful time of 'making do' during the private times we could steal from time with my parents.
There were a couple times when I either was in no mood for, or not expecting, a beating, and She told me to get ready for it, and gave me one anyway.     As it should be!  Not my choice, Hers.

She always demanded I be naked.  Briefs down NOT enough, must be ...off....so that I am naked.
   As it should be.

I'm not thrilled about this position---
She really seems to like.....Her, sitting on the bed, back against the headboard, legs extended and spread enough, for me to lay over Her lap, with my junk between Her legs.
It's intimate, yes, but it just doesn't do much for me as a submissive.
Better is when She says, FDAU, which means, face down and ass up, with my ass to Her, for Her viewing or beating pleasure.
('tho She told me, She derives no, or little, pleasure from looking at my ass, specifically between my butt cheeks,  which is interesting....I would dearly love to have some time just .... looking at Hers.
But then, I have a serious anal fetish, and She does not.)
A preference for me would be classic OTK, with Her on a chair, and me draped over Her lap.... but given the infrequency with which we've done that, I gather it doesn't do much for Her.
Next preference:  bent over the back of a chair, hands on the seat of the chair.
I did get a bit of that position for caning.....mmmmm, and owwwwch.
  Speaking of, writing about, caning.... maybe it's ...my bottom, but I still have yet to get the kind of caning that leaves horizontal stripes on my bottom.   Perhaps if I get a caning with no warm up first....
Or...bent over a bed.    Did not do that in MS; She started to have me in that position after we got home, but She got sidetracked by wanted to clean my ass crack.

I really liked a text She sent me, while we were there:
   "Get naked, and have the wooden paddle ready."
There wasn't really time for anticipation -play, while we were there.
Well, She could have been creative....   maybe, while we were out to dinner, or watching tv,  sending me a text, or whispering in my ear, "When we go to the bedroom,  I want you to strip immediately,  you're getting at least 30 with the spoon."
 That would be 'fun' to spend time thinking about.
More anticipation - play ...is my desire.

WHEN we have time...... jeez.
We got home Monday...I went to work....
Looks like, I'm working every night through Thursday, then we leave Friday morning....come back Sunday night, and I go straight to work from the airport....

on crime and punishment:
I know She has 'thought' about this, because She wrote THIS on Her blog:
"Shilo has somehow decided that he will get a 'free pass' for any misbehavior,  or so it seems. He's done a few things without asking or even bothering to consult with me...."

Well, no, I did not assume I was getting a free pass.  Nor did I think I was misbehaving, for two of the three things I can think of,  and I simply wasn't thinking at all...or I was just rationalizing.... during the 3rd.
What am I talking about?
1.   Verbally Outing Little S to my parents.
2.    Changing my FB status in such a way that J would be, in some fashion, outed to a specific circle of friends.
3.  Masturbating.

In the cases of 1 & 2, we don't have specific 'rules' in place.
Is punishment justifiable for breaking rules not yet in existence?
Maybe, in the household of TSW.
On the other hand, as She will ask, How do I punish a pain slut?
Does She give me a whipping, far beyond what I've had before....  just for these?
Or, as we still are trying to get settled in this dynamic..... it might be better to simply establish rules right now:
 One might be:   Any changes to any profiles on any sites must have My approval.
 Another might be:   Do not discuss the reality of Little S with anybody who is not already aware without My prior approval."

Next is 3, about which we DO have specific rules in place, and I ...broke them.
This one is a 'big no-no'.   We've been concentrating, for a while, on me conditioning myself to cumming via intercourse, and not via masturbation.   Letting myself do this was taking an easy way out. 
 I should have / should be  'punished'.
Yet, she decided to 'give it a pass'.   (after asking me of my opinion).
Because we were at my parents, because it was still, sort of, my birthday, because She's kind of at a loss on how to punish a painslut....  ?
She could say, "I am NOT going to beat you until I'm sure you've learned your lesson about this..."
  which I would not like, but it takes away from Her pleasure, too.
Better, perhaps, to find something closer to the nature of the crime.  Such as:
A full-time chastity device... and not just for a 'few days' either.
Daily unlocking and teasing....  then icing it down, or whatever it takes, to get it back in the cage.
Meanwhile, She still gets Her pleasure....She even told me, Her favorite way of getting that pleasure is via oral.
Don't tell me for 'about' how long, or the intended release date.
That represents one of my 'fears' regarding chastity,  and so I would not derive much pleasure from this punishment.  
 Which is the idea, right?
An experience that one does not want to repeat,  as the consequence of unwanted behavior, and a deterrent from repeating that behavior.....