Friday, February 28, 2014

02.26 Diary

...at work until 0900,  and I gave up, too tired, and left,  1/2 hour early.
C count from 00 to 09:   3

And I headed for a 1300 appntment in I'wood.
Making the 75 minute drive home,  say home 1015, then leaving  home at 1130 to get to the apptment just seemed silly.....
On the way, the alarm I set for 0930 went off, and I called Merry.
She was awake, had been for hours, after the barking dogs woke Her up, and after they woke Her up, they went back to sleep, but She couldn't.
I arrived at the place 0945
C count to here:   2
I scoped it out, made sure I was in the right place, etc.
Then I reclined the chair in my car, and went to sleep.
I woke up once at 1130.... looked around, went back to sleep til 12.45.
I got up, walked across to the street, and stood in line.
The line started moving, and we all slowly went inside.
Every person had to be pre-checked by a window clerk ( five of them working) and there were 96 people.
Then we moved into a much larger room....and sat and listened to a bored clerk try to make her job and ours sound interesting and exciting.  After twenty minutes of that, she put on a state-mandated DVD for all of us to watch.  The lights went down, the DVD played on the projected screen, and I went to sleep, sitting upright.
I woke up a couple minutes before it ended, we were given final instructions about lining up to sign some form, and take some booklet.....and we were on our way 'out'...I was in my car 1530.
C count on the way home  2
Home 1615.
Inside.... I changed the big dish of dog water.
Cleaned up mounds of dog poop in the back yard, and dumped it all and more in a trash bag.
Then I opened the box the Her dresser arrived in, and was unpacking it, as She arrived home from work.
I continued unpacked, then began puzzling over the assembly instructions.....
Stitch came home......
I finally had something figured out, and asked for Stitch's help to do some grunt work, while I continued to figure out where pieces went.

By 1945, She and I had to leave, to deliver a bed frame and a personal check to Her second youngest son, and his aunt, Her half-sister.... only a 20 mile drive.
And we returned, talking about dinner.....
And decided on Norm's.
She said, because I went to that bureaucratic class..... and managed to deal somehow with Stitch 'helping'   me with the dresser, and loading the bed frame in the car, AND driving Her to HB....  I had been 'punished enough' for the day, and was passing on enforcing CT, for today.

"But you're not getting out of a spanking," She said.
...Welll it's 0030 right now....

Home...
and She went to Her computer, as communications with Ell, that had temporarily halted, had resumed, and She wanted to keep it open.
I took my first shower of the day,  and went to my bedroom.

HSLO  38.5
HSLS   38.5
HSLB
D UN  7.31.26
Days under P   2/5
With that dirty slut:  7

02.28 Our videos

I'm still 'under punishment' for lying to Her.
Daily corner time has been the usual punishment, but today, She decided on something different.






Wednesday, February 26, 2014

02.25 Diary

C count  from 00 to 0630............... 2
Off work 0630.
Stopped for gas on the way home, and hit a buncha traffic on the way home.
C count to home ..............................3
Home, 0755.
Fed the animals...showered....
Naked, I joined Her in bed.
We talked about this and that.... 
And mutually agreed that Mondays and Tuesdays would be punishment-blackout days...
And...  had sex, which consisted of ten seconds of giving Her oral, followed by a decent period of intercourse, with a break long enough for Her to go urinate, then we resumed... right up to a Happy Ending for ME!
Then we jumped up, as She needed to get ready to go to a meeting, and I went about making dinner.
She left, around 11:30, and I was asleep shortly thereafter.

UP, 17:10.  
Shower, dressed, made coffee etc....
Said, and kissed Her good-bye, and departed.
Arrived at work, 1915
 C count enroute..........    3

A busy night, with event or events around time, all warm-up stuff for the really big show, this coming Sunday.

Oh, Blogger DELETED my newest blog,  Shilo's Fantasies,  telling me 'they' decided my blog was SPAM!
I emailed, asking for reinstatement, then I started ANOTHER blog, with the same concept,  called DreamsOfShilo.

C count from arrival to midnight:  1 

HsLO   14.5
HsLS    14.5
HsLD    82
Days UN  7.31.25
Days under punishment  1 (for CT) 4 (for profile notes)
Times with that dirty slut:   9




Tuesday, February 25, 2014

2.24 Diary

Off work, 0630.
C count from 00 to 0630,  2
I stopped at Ralph's on the way home, arrived home 730-ish.
C count  on the way home,  3.

She was awake when I went inside, said She had hardly slept at all, and told me to 'hurry up'.
I fed the animals, showered, and naked, got in bed next to Her.
We talked a bit about my re-acquired smoking habit, which She refers to as "that fucking slut" or similar unkind words.
And we napped.... 
At one point, She said, "I should put you in the corner but I'm too tired."
Which I did not entirely understand.... I stand stand in the corner, while She slept and set an alarm.
"Then I wouldn't be able to watch you and make sure you don't move."
Well, I wouldn't move, but okay....
And I was really tired myself, and if She had decided to corner me, I would have said so.

On that note, I suggest the following adjustment:
Her terms of the corner time punishment were/are :  20 min. a day,  with Her keeping the option of not enforcing it on a given day, for a period of one to two weeks,  with only Her knowing how long that period will be. 
I suggest "black out days" on Monday and Tuesday, as these are the hardest for me, in terms of turn around, from the time I get home from work, roughly 0730, to the time I need to get up for work, roughly 1700.
So,  we simply don't include Monday or Tuesday. 
The "one to two week period" will mean, seven to fourteen continuous calendar days, that don't include Monday or Tuesday.
It started on 2/22.  It does not include 2/23, because I simply wasn't feeling well.
As for the other terms of punishment.... my profiles STILL show the notes of confession, and if'n'when we go to public BDSM events, I must wear a sign of confession... that remains in effect for the "one month period" from 2/22.

We got up around 0930 and had breakfast/dinner.
And went back to bed.... 1030 or 11ish.

I got up around 1530 for my usual mid-sleep snack, and went back to bed....
And got up around 17:15, with Her still sound asleep.
After I showered and dressed, She was up and moving....
I got caught up in FL messages.... 
And left the house about 1835.
C count enroute to work :  3

Work: same ol' same ol'   Some challenges, nothing that I'm not accustomed to by now.
We exchanged  a couple emails, and when I heard nothing from Her for awhile, I assumed She was asleep ...until She called me at 0345, saying She had been 'reading' but wouldn't tell me what.

Meanwhile, I started another blog.
Shilo's Fantasies (http://fantasiesofshilo.blogspot.com)  which will be specifically about the Top of the Top fantasies I've had or still have, within the BDSM/kinky world, so it won't JUST be about spanking.
...tho', spanking is Numero Uno.

C count to midnight :   2

HSLO  827
HSLS   103
HSLD   58
Day UN  7.31.24
Punishment days complete  1 
Cigarettes 10

Monday, February 24, 2014

02.23 Diary

I thought my alarm was set for 0800 to get up, ready for service.
But it wasn't.
I woke up at 0830, with my stomach doing flip flops, and cramped up.
I went back to sleep.
She got me up around 1000, for breakfast.
I had orange rolls, and went back to bed.
She woke me again, around noon,  suggesting, if I felt like it, I should get up for corner time.
I demurred, not feeling well.
So this day does not count as a punishment day.
I got up and moving around 1230, packing, prepping,  took a shower....
In the car at 1350, and just avoided getting on the freeway, when I realized I left my phone behind, and went back to get it.
So, left home, 1408 and at work  1455.
Caught up on four days of blogs... and assorted other stuff.

Chatted with Her a bit, about Ell, who had been inundating Her with messages...

And otherwise uneventful.

HSLO 803
HSLS  79
HsLD  34
D Un  7.31.23
D under Pun  1  (did not count today)







Sunday, February 23, 2014

02.22 Diary the edited Video




02.22 Diary

Up 0830
Over breakfast, I showed Her the note added to my FL profile, and She told me how SHE wanted it done, and I revised it.
Then She said, "Corner, now." 
And directed me to the corner in the entry way, where the front door would hit me in the ass if it was opened too hard.
I went there and stood.
I felt something touching my buttocks.... did not know what, as I continuing standing as still as I could.
I did adjust my feet once, which prompted an immediate "Keep still!" from Her.
Later, She showed my pictures She took.
She had written across my buttocks, in permanent marker, "I lied to Mistress about my smoking. Liar Liar".
I did not get copies of the pictures, but it does appear in video that we shot, later in the afternoon.

She said, "Time's up," and I turned around to run to the bathroom, to vomit in the toilet.  Something did not sit well.
She allowed me time to lay down, and try to relax, feel better, a bit.
I did so,  then got up to do some ...things.
In my room, I tried to fix the speakers to my stereo, to no avail.
I managed to hang two heavy metal bookshelves on a wall.
I started work on merging and rearranging drawers.  I had some drawers  over here with socks in it, and drawers over there, and I was working on getting 'em all in one chest.
She came in and said, "I want you over the spanking bench."
I said, "No."
She said, "What!?  You may say, 'I need a minute' or 'I need some time' but NOT 'NO'."
"Um, yes, okay, in two minutes."
Actually, I was ...annoyed...about something else, which will come up ...soon in this post.
I went into the living room, stripped naked,  focused the video camera, and got on the bench.
She came in,  and had me get upright, so the camera could see the writing on my buttocks.... then I got back down.
She started with Her leather belt.....
Then used two of the three wooden spoons that came in a set we recently bought at a supermarket...
Then She put on a rubber glove, and started with two fingers in my anus, then three fingers, then four, then had most of Her hand inside, until I grunted, I had enough, and She took Her hand out, and told me to get up, and thus ended the video.
I took the camera to my room, plugged it into a laptop, and uploaded it, and began the process of converting it to wmv,  and editing it to cut out the nothing-happening parts.
She came into my room, and lay on my bed for a 45 min nap while I was doing this.
Around 1545, She got up, to go into the shower, to get ready for a dinner meeting.
I hit the shower first, and was just finishing when She got in.
While She was in the shower, She said, "I Love you....." as She often does, many times a day.
(not a complaint or anything like that, just saying what is)...
And I asked, "So.... why don't you want to please me?"
She stuck Her head out of the shower...."What makes you say that, I always want to please you..."
"You still haven't, or won't, do the spanking video that I want to do...."
"Oh.... THAT one.   Remember, this is about what makes ME happy."

What??!!    Am I not in this relationship for my own happiness, too?  
This response did NOT make me happy.

Then She added, "You are under punishment.  You don't get what you want."
Okay, THAT, I understand

She got out of the shower, we dressed.
We had to stop a dog fight in progress before we could get going, but get going we did.
And arrived at the selected dinner place around 17:10.
Ell was already there.
Ell was the 'new guy' that had come to the Munch Thursday night, and She had agreed to meet with him again, to continue answering the multitude of  questions he might have.
The three of us ate...and he had a few questions, and She had a few questions for him....
and we left, and we were home around 20:00
She called a family meeting,.as Stitch has been carrying a bit of attitude lately, so he and I sat in the kitchen while She baked cookies and talked.
I guess a few things were straightened out...?
And I went back to my room, to continue..and finally finish....  trimming the video, putting the pieces together into one video,   and I posted it on Fl, and Stube, and S-o.
It was 00:30, and I went in and said 'good night' to Her, and went to bed, and She joined me, shortly thereafter.

HSLO  779
HsLS  55
HSLD  10
Day U   7.31.22
Punishment; Day 1



 


02.21 Diary

up at 08:30.
Over breakfast, we talked about punishments.
I produced the note cards I had written.
1.  (  ) minutes of corner time, for  (  ) number of days.
 2.  Required daily exercise regimen, consisting of jumping jacks, squat thrusts, etc.
 3.  Daily household chore(s), including sweeping /mopping any floors, cleaning the bathroom, whether it's really needed or not.
 4. Internet restrictions: being barred from going on a selection of my 'favorite' sites.
 5. And there was a fifth one, and for the life of me, I can't remember what it was.

Of those, She chose #1.   She said, it would be 20 minutes of corner time daily,  on days of Her choosing, which meant, She may or may not choose to enforce it on a given day,  for at least one week, up to two weeks, but She wasn't going to tell me how long it would last.
And, She wanted public confessions.   She wanted me to add to my profile on the spanko- or BDSM- related sites, a note that "I lied to My Mistress.", with the note to remain on those sites for one month.
And, She said, for one month, for any BDSM-related events we go to, I had to wear a sign on my body, that stated, "I lied to My Mistress".
Then we started getting ready, as we had places to go, things to do.
In my car, and
First, to Her beautician, in Tr.... while She was in there, I went across the street to a pet store, and got cat food, then went back across the street to see if the health food store there had M. gum extract (no).
She came out, and we went down the parking lot, so She could get an ice cream cone.
Heading towards home from there, we stopped at a Healthcare systems, to turn in sleep study paperwork, and they immediately gave Her a brand new CPAP.
From there, we went on down the freeway, got off, and went into a Home Depot, and ordered a screen door for our back door.
Then we went to a supermarket for some weekly supplies, plus sausages for the dinner She was providing for, that night.

And home,....groceries away....   I did some scooping and cleaning, emptied the toilet, thought about ways to put up metal bookshelves, but didn't work,  got online a bit,  then I was sent out to pick up a friend of Her's that was coming to the meeting.
I left, and returned with Her...
And we waited while She prepared a fruit salad for dessert...
Then we packed up, and the four of us got in my car, and we drove down the street to the meeting place.
We had dinner.
Then the members adjourned to their meeting, and I went to my car for a nap, from 2000 to 2115.
She came and got me, to get me to help pack up.
We left.  I dropped Stitch at the house, and She rode with me to drop Her friend off at home...
And we returned home, about 2250.
She went to get on Her computer, and I set up Her new CPAP.
I got online myself, and updated my profile on FL, Sp0, and S-tube.
She went to bed, around 2300, and I went to bed around 0030.

HSLO  755
HSLS  31
HSLD  58
D UN  7.31. 21



02.20 Diary ..Caught as a Liar

At 08:35, She woke me up, telling me that I had ten minutes to be up, feed the animals, and be on the spanking bench.
Well, all that was not going to happen in ten minutes, but....
I was in the bathroom, urinating, when I saw Her standing at the bathroom door.
I came out, and She said, "My bedroom, instead."
I entered, and She said, "Truth. Now. Have you been smoking."
Pause.  "Yes."
She nodded, and showed me the pack of cigarettes, that I had put in one of my carry bags, but didn't bother to zip up.... so, hidden in plain site, as it were.
She told me that She can not, will not, EVER approve of me, smoking, but the very WORST THING is... me, lying to Her about it, when She asked me, so many times in the recent past, 'Have you had a cigarette today?'  and I said, 'No' even though I had.
So, we talked 'punishment'.
What She decided, was to have me write up five forms of punishment, and give them to Her, and She would choose some or all of them.

Then, She started getting ready to go to work.... but prior, took the time to sit at the table and fill out some Catholic survey that came in the mail.
And so, She left,  just a little bit later than She should have,  and I started looking over the list of things I wanted to accomplish that day.
At 11:10, She sent me a text:  "I arrived at 11:07. He sent me home."
Oh boy.
I was in the process of putting up curtain rods in Her room, when She arrived, as Little-S, in tears.
I tried to console Her.  
She calmed down somewhat, and once I got the curtain rods over the two windows in Her room ready, She put the curtains on the rods, and we got them up in place.
Then came putting Cookie's beds in the laundry..... scooping litter boxes.... 
and putting up two curtain rods over the sliding glass door in my room.
Once I had those up, together we put the curtains on the rods, and I got them up in place.
Then I swept and mopped the floor in Her bedroom.
As I finished, She said, "Hello, my husband."
Which meant, Little-S had gone back to sleep, and She had returned.
I continued with sweeping and mopping the kitchen, emptying the portable toilet in my bedroom, washing out the big dog water dish, and changing the towel under it.
Then I sat down at my laptop to see if any videos that I uploaded were on line yet.
And I started/finished composing possible punishments.
Around 16:00, She came up to where I was sitting:  "I want sex."
I raised an eyebrow, stood up, and we went to my bedroom, and engaged in ...some of that.
Around 17:15, we got up and showered and dressed.... ..
And were in my car around 18:00, heading to a dinner Munch.
We arrived around 18:40, and went in.
As we sat, a very new-to-this-sort-of-thing fellow, Ell, sat next to me, and tried to engage me in some converation, .which usually doesn't work well, and he was asking questions that Merry was much better able to answer, so, while I suggested Merry and I trade places, it was Merry's idea that Ell and I switch, which is what we did...leaving me seated between two strangers.
We had dinner, and the talk began, which was really an open open about various Femdom things, and started with party planning....and I just didn't like what I was hearing.... these women were talking about men as they might talk about dogs,   and taking them to a dog show.....
And I really did not like sitting between strangers...
I excused myself to the rest room,  and from there, went to my car, got in, and tilted the seat back.
I sent Her a text, saying, "I went to my car..."  and took a nap.
She had the ringer on Her phone down, so She didn't hear my text, and I still have my volume down, so I didn't hear Her reply.
She came knocking at the car window around 21:20...and we headed home.
There we both got on our computers.
She had a bad sleep-night, the night before, and went to bed 23:00 or so,
and I was in bed around 00:30.

HSLO  731
HSLS  7
HSLB  34
D UN  7.31.20



02.19 Diary

Off work at 0930, and She was waiting for me.
In fact, She had been waiting for me awhile, as She had taken Stitch to work, after he woke up and found a flat tire on his bike...and then She took a surface street all the way from down there to up here.
I got in Her car, and we went to the Valley to drop sleep-study papers at our doctor's office.
We stopped at a Mickey D's drive through, and went on home.
Once there, She went to take a nap, and I started trying to upload videos, then I joined Her.
We woke up around 13:45.
She told me to take my briefs down, and She started inspecting my crotch and genital area...and found a long hair.  
She plucked it out, showed it to me, and said, "You have not been shaving very well..."
"Um... cheap razor blades."
"Whatever. You need to do better. Get up and get in the corner."
I did, and waited.
She left the room, and returned, and told me to lay down on the bed face up.
She held the short black Delrin cane.
She told me to pull me legs up...diaper position, and gave the back of my thighs 28 strokes with the cane. Then she added another 28 to the sides of my thighs.
I moaned a bit about the severity of it, and we talked....
and She lay down on Her stomach, flat, and handed me the cane, and told me to use it on Her.
I did, pausing, when She said, "Yellow.."  a couple times, then I stopped when I was ready to stop.
She had some little tears flowing. 
The marks on Her bottom were gorgeous.  I have never gotten welts like that.
I took pictures of the marks on Her phone.... but I never got copies of them.
I asked if She was ready to try copulation on a hot bottom, and She said, 'Oh yes'.
That was...fun....
Then we got up and showered,
And went off to pick up Stitch at work.
Back home, She got in Her car to go on some mysterious errand, and I took Stitch to a bike shop to get his tire fixed.
Home, I worked on video uploading awhile....
Then got in the hot tub,  with Her and Stitch joining me.
In the tub, under the water, Her hand stroked my penis to enough of a hardness, that She moved about in the water, and sat on top of me, and mounted me.... theoretically, without Stitch knowing.
We got out, when dinner was ready....  
And I sat down in an easy chair, and fell asleep.
She woke me up after awhile, to go take a shower,  then I was in bed around 23:00,  and She joined me, turning on the tv to watch....I have no idea what, as I feel asleep quickly.

Hr S L O  707
Hr s L Sx    9
Hr s L D     10
Days Unl   7.31.19

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

02.18 Journal

The question was posed to me:
 What attracted me to Merry,  in the first place, in the beginning?

To say, I am 'shy' is a severe understatement.  Borderline antisocial would be more like it. (as was noted on a recent job performance review).  I am NOT  outgoing, friendly, gregarious.
I can not, will not, walk up to a stranger, and say, "Hi, I'm Shilo..."  and see what happens from there.
Can't do it.
At a party, I would always be the girl, holding up a wall, waiting for a boy to come ask her to dance.

Once I was in a position in my life to come out of my shell,  to try to fulfill the masochistic desires that I held in for so long,   I went to a few munches that I saw on FL....and usually sat quietly, alone.
I went to classes at the BoD... and sat alone, and left quietly afterwards.
I figured it, it would be easier to find a male spanker, than a female, and I registered on a few m/m spanking sites,  and waited to be contacted.... and I was...  and was able to get involved in some real meets and get my bottom soundly spanked.
I was at a BOD class, which was just an open instructional...with people just practicing...whatever...and I was sitting alone, quietly, and a Domme came up to me and asked, "So, what are you into?"
"Um... I like to be spanked... "
"Well, I could use practice on my flogging..."
And in short order, I was semi naked, over a bench,  as she practiced a number of things on me.
This was actually my second experience with a female Top,  as earlier, in January, I had gone to a 'party' at Irongate and paid a Domme for two sessions, one against a cross for a flogging, then another over her lap.
After the free session at BoD, I contacted Her again, by way of saying "Thank you",  and found out, further sessions would 'cost me'.
There were monthly parties at BoD, and before the first one, a Dom had contacted me through FL, and we made a date...and we met at the party, and had me over a bench, and beat me good and proper.
Come to find out from him later,  it didn't do 'anything for him', and he had little interest in a second date.
I had a regular male Top during March, who gave me several good beatings.... but all contact simply stopped.  And by that, I mean, he stopped contacting me,  and I wasn't about to initiate contact with him.
April 1, I went to a M/M party,  and met up with a guy that I had been chatting with through Spankthis, and he had a good time with me.
Afterwards, another guy ( Will) who had seen me there, contacted me through STH,  and we got together for a private party in LA,  and twice during the month, I drove out to his house in Palm Desert, and received some thorough thrashings.  
Then, I expected to see him at the M/m party, early May....   and he sent me a message through STH that he couldn't make it.
He had my personal email and my phone number.....   So I was really upset that he sent a message through a place that I might not have even seen.
After the first BoD party I attended,  I put up a journal entry.... which ended with, "So, when's the next party?"
And Merry replied, with the date of the next party.
I thanked Her for that, etc.
After Will stood me up, so to speak, I wrote another journal entry,  bemoaning my life, and how hard it's been to find someone I can ...rely on.
And She replied to that,  saying that "My dance card is open, so if you're available, you could be my play partner"  for a party on June 1.
We had seen each other, were even introduced, at prior parties, so this was not a 'blind date'.
My heart skipped a few times.  I couldn't say, "Yes, sure,"  fast enough....  but I tried to be casual about it. Heh.

We met at the party...and had a great time, two different sessions..... She figged me before beating me, for the first one, and even broke... or re-broke an index finger, swinging a heavy paddle.
Afterwards, She and her partner were going for customary after-party ice cream, and invited me along.
Later, She told me, She didn't expect me to accept, and was mortified when I accepted.
She asked Her partner, "What are we going to talk about?"
We found plenty to talk about.
 We exchanged hundreds of emails.
She told me about failing contract negotiations with another male sub
I expressed enough of an interest, that She asked if wanted to enter into such a relationship, and I said yes.
We signed a D/s contract....  
After a week or so, I expressed my feelings about the lack of permanency in the contract, that it stated that either party could quit at any time.....  
She offered a permanent,  M/s contract, and I accepted.
We signed it, and She put a necklace (collar) around my neck, in mid June.
There have been significant ups and downs since then.
One UP was getting married, mid Sept.  Another UP was moving in together, October 1.
A DOWN was when She took the collar off me, in October.
And put it back on, a week or so later.
A DOWN was when I started smoking, after I had quit, and lied to Her about it, and She busted me on it.

So, what was the question?
Oh yeah....
The first attraction was:  SHE approached ME.  SHE asked ME to "dance" as it were.
That alone means SO MUCH to a shy guy like me.
Then She asked me to join them for ice cream.   I felt ACCEPTED.
And She is gorgeous, and charming, and warm....   I LOVE Her smile, and the twinkle in Her eyes, and the obvious joy She gets from beating my bottom.
There are plenty of stories.... true or not, who the f*ck knows.... about women who will beat a man silly, past the point of  recognition.
But this woman, MY woman,  beats me, not just for Her pleasure, but also for mine.  She likes giving pain to those who like getting it, and that's me to a T.
I asked Her to be more like a Strict Wife, rather than a Mistress...and She accepted the role, just to make me happy.
She is my-fantasy-come-true.

Next question:
 Why do I continue to want to serve Her?

This question, I believe, arose from recent events, where I've taken control of things in a manner unfitting for a slave in an M/s relationship.
My reasoning for doing that.... is that, I saw things that needed doing,  that weren't being done, and so I took charge.
If and when things are getting done as needed, I am content to NOT be in charge, to simply do as expected, to do as I'm told
I'm not very good at decision making on my own.
I want guidance, I want direction,  I want to be told ...what to do.
I like having my opinion asked, and giving input, but not  having the final decision.
I'd much rather be a 'trusted advisor' than the final-decision-maker.
I LIKE pleasing Her, making Her happy.
Sometimes, recently, it hasn't seemed that way.   
I believe that's because both my Ego and my emotions, that I am often not very cognizant of, have gotten in my way, and I've done or said something rather impulsive, that worked out quite contrary to what I really want to happen.

I really do want to serve Her, and make Her happy, in any way I can.






02.18 Diary

Off work 0630.
Had to get gas on the way.... still, home 0733.
Fed the animals,  started the dryer as requested....
Showered....
and in Her room,  0800 or so.   Naked but for black no-show socks,  I started by showing Her the current look of the bruises on my bottom, as She often requests,  then I got in bed next to Her.
We dozed a bit, we talked a bit....
Around 0900, I said, "I think it's about time...."
She gave me a wicked smile, "For ..what?"
"I do need to eat, and get to sleep, for my long shift tonight...."
"Um,  got time for  a spanking?"
"Oh... yeah...."
"Oh, good.   Get up, and get in the corner."
I did so, and stood.... while I heard Her thumping around in the kitchen area.
She returned, and said, "Pick  a number between one and ten."
"Um, seven."
"Okay, now FDAU."
I got on the bed, FDAU, with my feet hanging off the edge of the bed, while I heard Her leave the room, and return, in a few minutes.
I did not see it when She came in, as She has a tendency to try to surprise with me whatever She uses, but I saw, later, that She had fetched a back scratcher,  basically a bit of wood about a foot long,  an inch and a half wide, a quarter inch thick.
As I remember it:
  14 swats on each buttock (total of 28) (She was using the number I had chosen, and multiplied by 4).
  Then,  28 swats on my ... perineum, which, in later conversation, She told me is referred to in regular jargon as the 'taint'.   Which I researched when I got to work, and of course, She was correct.
Then She told me to get flat on my back... and She applied 28 swats to each thigh.
Then She told me to count out loud as She applied another 28 swats to each thigh.
Then She started swatting the soles of my feet, and I didn't count, as I 'assumed' the counting only applied to the strokes on my thighs.
"Why didn't you count?"
"I didn't know I was supposed to."
"So, you decided for yourself not to count?  You count til I tell you to stop."
"Yes, Merry."
"Legs up, and hold them."
Diaper position...
"This is for NOT counting...."
And I counted another 28 swats to the 'taint'.
Then She put down the stick, and straddled my chest for some 'aftercare'.

  It hurt like hell....  it's MEANT to, as She would point out...  but it did not hurt in such a way that I would say, 'oh please don't do that again'.  And the afterglow, or heat, was ...sensational.  Pictures at the end of this....

And up, and we had breakfast...and She started getting ready for work.
I was in bed, asleep, when or shortly after, She left.
I got up around 14:45 for a snack,  getting one piece of chocolate pie before it was all gone, and
went back to bed.
She was home...oh 15:30 I think,  and I was awake enough to talk to Her, and hear Her say that She was going to nap in Her own bed for a bit.
My alarm went off at 17:15, I was up at 17:25 and started getting ready for work.
She told me She was taking me to work.... that She had an ulterior motive, which I never did hear about....
The three of us were in Her car around 1815.... and I arrived at work 19.10

An easy night at work....so far  (02:45).
The morning dispatcher sent me a text, saying he would be late,  having back problems, took some Advil, reset his alarm for 0500.  
Doesn't matter THIS morning, I'm here until 09:30.

Hrs s Last Or  683
Hrs s Last Sx  82
Hrs s Last B   14
DAYS un.     7.31.18

My bottom, before She got started


Afterwards:  Thighs and taint:
close up of 'taint'





 





Tuesday, February 18, 2014

02.17 diary

Off work, 0630.
In holiday-lessened traffic, home  0715.
Inside,  feeding animals.
Then a shower.
Then, into Her room to wake Her up.
R was home, off work, asleep next to Her.
She got up, and we went to my bedroom... and after She got in bed, She ordered, "Stand up, turn around, take 'em down."
Caught me by surprise.... it's been quite a while since She used that tone of voice with me.
Yes, it HAS been awhile since we've been in  M/s 'mode', going back to before my stomach issues started.
Anyway, She wanted to see how my bottom was looking after yesterday's party.
She said, "Nice,"  then said I could get into bed.
I asked, "Nice? That's it?"
She said, "The longer answer is, looking at those bruises makes me want to beat you and add MY own marks to it."
"Okay, let's leave it at nice."
And we talked... or She started....by expressing Her displeasure when I went to bed Saturday night without saying anything....and not apologizing, the following morning, or even saying "I Love you" before I departed, and 'assuming' She was mad at me, when She said a summary 'good night' in a text exchange the night before. 
Rules She made, or re-emphasized, on the spot:
 Don't assume... Ask. Talk.
 Say 'good night' when I'm going to bed. Interrupt anything She might be doing.

Up, to make breakfast...
And to sleep,  10:30 or so.

Funny thing, later, I saw Her wave at me from the doorway,  and I thought She was just leaving...but I looked at the clock, it was 15:30, She was just getting home.
I got up for a snack, and went back to bed, and She joined me.
My alarm went off at 1715...and I got up around 1800, in a minor panic.
Barely enough time to get dressed, etc, and in the car at 18:30.

Traffic was not the usual Queen Bitch...  just a Princess Bitch, and I pulled in at 19:26, for which I was grateful, as I was expecting to get a performance review from my boss, and I kinda wanted to be on time for it.
He was working in dispatch, and after some immediate dust settled, we went into the office, and spent all of 5 minutes with the review, and he told me about the raise I was getting.....
And back to work.

She and I chatted a bit through the course of the night...some via text, which I despise, because my cell phone locks up while inside the dispatch room.   Then we were in the sp'o chat room, and the site server crashed.  Then we exchanged a few emails.
I told Her about a random-spanking-generator site I found, which I'm mighty interested in trying.

Then She signed off , and went to bed.





Monday, February 17, 2014

02.16 Diary

Alarm off at 0730, I finally got up at 0810, with Her asleep next to me.
I feed animals, got my laundry in, and told Her, I was leaving at 0915.
She said, "Okay."

I was ready by 0910, and She was still in bed, so evidently, She was not going.

I found out somewhat later, She was undergoing abdominal distress.

I drove on, to Service....  receiving a text from Her in the meantime,  expressing Her disappointment that I did not apologize for 'last night' nor did I say 'I love you' when I left.
We exchanged a few texts....
And around 13:00 I was at a dungeon in the SFV for the monthly HSG Party.

I think I've mentioned before, I am the exact opposite of a party animal.   Picture a group of people sitting around, talking, and ...I am somewhere else.

So, for the first hour, I sat in a relatively quiet place, alone,  with earbuds in, listening to music on my phone.

Shortly after two, 'C' came along and got my attention.
"We're starting the caning demonstration, care to join us?"
I nodded, and stood up.
She smiled, "We need you to be the heavy bottom for this."
"Oh goodie."
We went into the main room.
With many others, I watched as BDL talked about canes, and caning,  while two females.... one that C called 'light' another that C called 'medium' were bent over a bench, skirts up...and she dished out cane strokes of varying...but mostly light... intensity.  
Then BDL stepped away, and borrowed from one spectator an implement, and said, "This is a sjambok. This one is rubber, and very heavy to use."
I was invited up to the stage or platform.(well, elevated by all of 12 inches, if that).
I dropped my pants, and bent over a bench,  and BDL applied something like ten strokes of the thing across my buttocks and et cetera.
A couple minor blood spots appeared, and he cleaned it up,  and I got up, and pulled up my pants.
"Shilo is a VERY heavy bottom.  Note how he took that without flinching or yelling.  Don't expect the same results at home."

Fuckin' A, that thing hurt.

More party mingling , or not, in my case.....
Then BDL came up to me, and said, "Ready to try some leather?"
Hell, yeah.

We found a spanking bench, and I stripped down to the wrestler's singlet I wore under my clothes.....and got on the bench.
He started with a number of swats with a medium sized leather holey strap.... followed by a number of swats with a larger leather holey strap,  and finished with a number of swats of a razor strop, the kind with two long straps on top of each other.
 Pictures, at the end of this post.
He, um, cleaned up my buttocks at bit, and I slowly got up and dressed.
Then came the 'reddest bottom' contest, which I thought I would do well in,  but come to find out, the rules were..... one Top with one bottom, one minute with implement of choice, to see who would get the reddest.   I did not have a Top to play with, as BDL was busy with C.  Oh well.

Afterwards, I stayed there, talking with C a bit, then I went outside, and sat down in the group with BDL...
then said my goodbyes, to get going to work..

I arrived around 19:00.... and started catching up on blogs and stuff, while doing 'some' work also.

In the bathroom, 30 min. later

Immediately after, still on the bench

In the bathroom, 30 minutes later
 H s LO  635
H s L S    34
 H s L B  7
DAYS un  7.31.16

Sunday, February 16, 2014

02.15 Diary

Up...around 10:00.
For feeding, breakfast, etc...
And sat down in a lounge chair, and went back to sleep, until like 13:00.
She and I moved to my bedroom, where we engaged in some sex ....  although I seemed to 'lose it' more quickly than has been happening, but She seemed satisfied.

Then I went back to work on Her computer,  doing an IM chat with a Norton tech.
Hours spent in vain, other than figuring out, there is no easy solution, and She would have to rebuild a lot of lost data from scratch.

Meanwhile, the three of us watch "Rock of Ages", which was saved on DVR.

Then we all dressed and went out to Soup Plantation.

And stopped at a supermarket on the way home.

Once home, She went to Her computer....Stitch turned on the tv...and I did chores,  like moving laundry from washer to dryer, bringing dry laundry in, emptying the dishwasher....

And I went to my bedroom, turned off the light, and started to go to sleep.

She came in around midnight, miffed and annoyed that I went to bed without saying anything to Her.

A little groggy, I said,  'I saw that you were on your computer ..again....and  figured you would come in when you were ready...'
I went to sleep again, and at some point in the night, She joined me.

HsLO  611
HsLS  10
HsLD  36
Days UN  7.31.15

02.14 The Valentine's Day video


02.14 Diary

I woke up around 08:30, with Her next to me.
We got up, feed the animals, had breakfast....
And She asked, "So... ready to give the spanking bench a try?"
"Sure...."

I set up my video camera, and moved the spanking bench around to get just the right focus on it.

I stripped off, which didn't take much doing, as all I was wearing was a robe and socks...
She used a medium paddle, a longer paddle, and a bathbrush, first in sets of 14 swats, then in sets of 28.

Full video to follow on a stand-alone post.
'After' pix at the end of this post.

Then, I uploaded the video from the camera to my laptop, converted it to wmv format, then uploaded it to FL and S-net.  

In the meantime, while running back and forth from my room / my laptop, and Her room/ her desktop, I was trying to fix a problem created when She downloaded a new version of Norton Security.
That simply took hours, and I never got it properly fixed for Her.

Then I got back on my laptop, to pay some bills due.
And we all showered and dressed, 
And went out to a Valentine's Day in South LB, organized by a LB Munch club.

We returned home....and spent some time in the hot tub before retired to bed, around midnight.



H s L O 587
H s L S  111
H s L B  12
Days UN  7-31-14

Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy Valentine's Day


02.13 Diary

Merry woke me up around 0200, to ask if I wanted a slice of the pie that She brought home, Tuesday night.
Groggily, I declined.

She woke me up around 0800.  She said, She had basically been awake all night, went to sleep around 06:30, and didn't see the sense in coming to my bed for such a short time.

We got up, fed the menagerie,  and were in the car, heading for a drs appointment of mine,  some 38 miles away.
We arrived fifteen minutes early, but were quickly showed in.
The Doc came in, asked how I was faring on the acid blocking med....... suggested I double up on it,and give it a month.... and we were out of there.

We stopped at a Gelson's, to buy another bath brush..... She's broken half a dozen of them across my bottom.
We found one..... with a very amusing small label on it :  "Gentle and Cruelty free".   Heh.

From there, we had another long drive, to the Kaiser that Merry had Her sleep study done, as the doctor we just left needed the documentation from that sleep study....
THAT only took a few minutes, once we arrived.
Then a short drive to the DMV there.... as I needed to get 'proof' of my change of address on my license for a job I was trying to get approved for.
Well...that was  two hours of waiting, followed by 30 seconds at the window, to give my story, and have the clerk 'stamp' my change of address card.
Then, to a Norm's for lunch.
Then, a long drive to a Petsmart for specific dog food, and not so specific cat food.
Then to a Target that we were passing on the way home, for a clock for the bathroom....
While we were inside, my best chess playing buddy, called, saying he would be passing through my town in a bit, was I available...?
Yes.
We went home.
She went along to the supermarket for fixins' for dinner; and I waited.
He arrived an hour later, and I gave him the tour.
Merry came home shortly after he arrived, and I introduced 'em.
Then we sat down at the table, and proceeded to play some 20 games of speed chess.
I won the majority, but he won many more than he ever has in the past, during such matches.
Whether he has gotten better, since he has been playing, or I was rusty from not playing for a long time.... well, it doesn't matter.
He left when our dinner was ready, about 20:30.
We invited him to stay, but he still had to get home, some 20 miles, and he had to get up around 3 a.m. for his first pick up at 3:45.

The three of us had dinner...without incident.
Merry excused herself for some computer stuff.
Stitch and I cleaned up the kitchen.
By the time we were done, Merry was off Her computer, and laying on Her bed, asleep.
I undressed, and went out, to the hot tub, for a long soak.
Then I came in, and had a hot shower.
Then I sat down to write all this.

HsLO   563
HsLS    87
HsLB    62 1/2
D UN   7.31.13

Thursday, February 13, 2014

02.12 Diary

SO.... off work,10:00.
Off I went, to ab appointment in South LB, arriving early...11:15.
The person I was meeting arrived right on time, 12:30, and I was there til 13:15... then I headed home.
T puttered around with a few chores,  like getting the dishwasher started, and starting a load of Merry's laundry....and starting the hot tub.... and got in it.
When Merry got home, She joined me....and we soaked until 5:30.
Merry got out and went into the house, to the shower, and shortly after, I followed.
After a while, Merry had dinner on, ....  and She called Stitch to come get his, and he was so slow and indifferent to responding, that Merry was hurt and mad,  and stormed into Her bedroom, saying that She would not eat with us.... and slammed the door.

From Her computer, She emailed to me a latter of explanation, that She wanted me to show Stitch, which I did.

Eventually She opened the door and allowed Stitch to go in....
And I went on to bed, around 22:00,  having been continuously awake for some 28 hours.


Wednesday, February 12, 2014

02.11 DIary

Due to a problem at the office that occurred 5 minutes before my quitting time, I stayed over to assist in helping with the repercussions....
Then I departed...
And got stuck in an accident related traffic snafu on the first freeway I got on.....
So I didn't arrive home until about 8:40, and Merry called me on my cell, just as I pulled in the driveway, checking on me.  
.... In perfect hindsight, it probably woulda been a good idea to call Her first, and let Her know I was delayed....
....Which I did consider but, for one, I did not want to wake Her up, assuming She was sleeping, and for two, I do not like (and it is against the law) to talk on my cell phone while driving, even if I wasn't actually moving very much or very fast.
    So...home,  and I fed the animals, took a shower, and went into Her room, wearing black ankle socks and a robe.
   She told me to take off the robe, and move in closer, to where She lay on the bed, to inspect my bottom.  It had been some 17 days since our last impact play, but She still noticed a couple soft spots.
   We talked a few minutes, then She said, "Go to the kitchen, see how much coffee is in the pot."
   I went and returned.  "About half full."
   "Good, now ...stand in the corner."
   I did so, and She came up behind me. "Do you know WHY you are standing in the corner?"
   I really had no idea..."Because you told me to."
 "Well, that much is true..."
 And then, and I don't remember how we go on the topic, but She had me singing verses to "Down on the corner", not that I could remember anything past, "Down on the corner, out in the street" so I just kept on making up rhymes as I went along, and every time I paused, She said, "Keep going."
F i n a l l y, She said, "Stop, turn around....   get on the bed, FDAU."
   I did so, with my ankles and feet just off the edge of the bed, thighs spread, and my face down on the bed, and She said, "Stay there, don't move, while I go start my coffee."
  I waited there, and She returned.
  Standing on my blind side, She said, "So, you were late getting home for understandable reasons. However, my alarm goes off at 08:20, and when you're not home, I worry, I really worry, so why didn't you call me?"
 "I ..don't know, I'm sorry, I should have."
 "Yes, you should have.  I worry so much, and it hurts me to worry.   So now, you must be punished for it."
 "I understand, it won't happen again...."
  She did not show me what She was about to use, but I had a hunch, it was the leather belt that She brought home from Walmart, the previous Saturday.
  She said, "You were forty minutes late, so...."
  She began with 40 vertical smacks, on alternating buttcheeks....
   And after a moment's break, continued with 40 horizontal swats.
  "Face up, on the bed, flat...  cover your winkie with your hands."
  Now that I could see, my hunch was confirmed, She was using a leather belt, doubled up.
  She continued with 20+ swats on the front of my upper thighs.
  When She stopped, I dropped my hands from my winkie, to flat on the bed.
  "Did I say you could move your hands?"
  "No...." I said, and hurriedly put them back, and She gave me one hard swat, landing across both thighs.
  "Now, legs up to your chest, and hold them in place."
   Standing to my right, She said, "Count these out loud."
   Many times through gritted teeth, I counted to forty, as the belt landed across the back of my thighs.
   After "Forty!", She through down the belt. "Done, you can relax."
I did so, and She climbed on top of me, straddling me, and we started talking about it.
  When She asked, I said the belt is stingy, and effective, but not so horrible that I just 'couldn't take it'.
 An equivalent beating with a heavy paddle would have been .... utterly OW,  and a paddle on my thighs would have been worsely so,  and the one time when She used a cane with me in diaper position really pushed my limit.... 
  But this, the belt, hurt.... but not so much that I was near the limit of my pain threshold.
  The we got up, and went to make our breakfast, etc.
  Then She went into the shower....  and three different times as I sat down to eat, She called me into the bathroom...while She was in the shower.... to tell me something, or hand Her something. 
   Well, two times for sure....  clock and toothbrush...I just think there was another time, too.
  She went to work, I finished eating and reading two days' worth of newspapers...  and piddled around, and pulled a full plastic bag of garbage out of the can, took it out back, and put it down by the garage door, went into the garage door, found two coffee tables that I thought might be suitable for a fulfillment of the fantasy that we talked about, the day before...
And went to bed, 11ish.

She arrived home....1700ish...came into my room, pulled down my briefs, and BIT my right buttock.
"Why did I bite you?"
I was mighty groggy. "Uh...no idea..."
"Look outside your window, by the garage door."
I did. The bag'o'trash that I left by the garage door had been torn open, and trash strewn about, along with some of it in the pool.   I had forgotten about how much our new-ish dog, Donna, liked to 'explore things'.
  She went out, and fished trash out of the pool.
I went back to sleep until 17:30.
 Then I got up....  and I went outside and rebagged the trash on the ground, and put it INSIDE the garage.
  While I was back in my room,  I could see outside, Stitch going out with a plastic bag,  and looking mystified as to why there was no garbage to pick up.
   I took a shower, fed small animals, dressed, made coffee...and departed.
   Traffic sucked, thus one big reason why I'm glad for these long shifts I work, but only three days....
   Again, I expected to see my manager at work, for a performance review, and again, all I found was an email, saying that he still had not heard from HIS manager, and needed to postpone the review to next week.
  Fine....so to work.....     it was ...1945, and I saw 4 open rides within the next 90 minutes, to get covered....always a stressy situation....
 I got through it.
 I always do.
The rest of the night.....  no problem.
 She and Stitch had gone to a dinner, and She sent me a text when She got home, and told me about a special surprise She brought home....
Otherwise, we did not chat at all.

HsLO  515
HsLS   39
HsLB   14.5
D UN   7-31-11

this is my LONG shift....   14.5 hours at the office.....  
but once I get off work, I don't come back for 100 hours....
But today, i have an appointment in the southern part of the town I live....so I'm far from getting to bed yet
And this is also why I get so behind on blogging, on a daily basis.
 


 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

02.10 Diary

Off work 0630.  Stopped for gas on the way home....home 0743.

She was awake, because Stitch woke Her up at 0500, looking for his bicycle helmet and chain, and blamed me that he couldn't find it, because I hurried him up so much for housecleaning on Saturday.
They found it...but She couldn't get back to sleep.
As I walked in, She called me on my phone, asking me to come join Her.
First though, I had to feed the animals, and take a quick shower.
I went into Her bedroom, and She had me stand at the edge of the bed, so She could check out the state of my bottom....which has not been properly tended to in some 18 days now.
Then She said, I could join Her in bed.
We get into some very interesting conversations during this morning time.
One topic was regarding a very interesting fantasy She had.... which I've been occupying my mind with figuring out how to realistically realize it for Her.
Another topic was ....menage a trois'.  She's had a few,  but does She have an interest in one with Stitch and myself.... I'll leave the answer to that for another day.
Then   we  ......... had sex.
Finished around 0900 or so, and it was time to get up and get somethin' to eat.
I went to sleep in Her bed, around 10:45.

She called in 'sick' from Her job, simply because She was too sleep-deprived, and evidently spent the morning, afternoon  paying bills online, and working on a file system.
I am SO VERY PROUD of Her, that She has started to do that.... rather than spending so much time on the numerous websites that She scans and posts on.
My eyes opened around 1545, and She immediately started telling me Her fears about our budgeting shortfall, in terms of the contributions Stitch and I make, versus the amount of money we need for basic household bills.  
I tried to go back to sleep...and actually managed, and She woke me up around 17:30.
I got up, showered, dressed, fed my cats, made coffee.....
Said 'good bye' and departed.
I was in my car, rolling at 1830,   but due to horrible traffic on the 101, arrived at work 1940.
Which was annoying because I was anticipating my manager being there, for a performance evaluation.
He was not there, and I found an email, saying that he had to postpone, because he still had not gotten a confirmation from HIS boss, regarding what he really wanted to be able to do.

A pretty easy night at work.
I heard from Her a couple times, via messages on FL.  
With a new problem for Her.  She updated the Virus Protection Program on Her computer, and thinks it updated Her password-lockbox, so now She doesn't remember any passwords to Her numerous websites.

I must remind Her, that I did do a back up to Her harddrive, about a month ago...and there's a way to reset the computer to a point back in time, so we should be able to retrieve it.

HsLO  494
HsLS   15
DAYS SINCE LAST BEATNG  17
Days UN  7-31-10


Monday, February 10, 2014

ANNOUNCEMENT

Follower of this blog might notice the absence of the posts labeled "when Mommy spanks".

I have moved all posts scheduled for future dates,  and am in the process of moving past posts ..... to my newest blog:

mommyspanksme.blogspot.com

Scripts for a video

Referring to 'that' video, the one that simply jazzes me so much....
Whenever I look at it,  and putting myself in the place of the naked male spankee, I fantasize about, how I got in that situation....ie, what came before the action?

So, I have often created scripts in my mind, call them role plays, if you will, in regards to the minutes leading up to the situation.

So, assuming I'm re-creating this scene with a video camera rolling,  here's a few scripts I've come up with.

1.  Camera focused on empty chair.
     She walks in, on camera, sits down, brandishing paddle, and says, "Get your clothes off and get over here."
    Off camera, I say: "Please...no....not again...."
    "Do not make this worse on yourself by arguing. Get naked and get over here."
    I enter on-camera, and go over Her lap.

2.  Camera focused on Her, sitting in chair.
     She looks at the camera and says, "Now, ladies, for the demonstration segment of this meeting of the Disciplinary Wives Club,  I will show you MY way of putting my husband over my lap, and thoroughly warming his bottom.   In my opinion, your man should be totally naked for this, as it signifies the Total Power Exchange involved. And so, he is naked for this.  Shilo, get over here."
 Naked, I enter on camera, and go over Her lap.

3.  Camera focused on empty chair.
    Off camera, Her voice:  "I am so pleased about your engagement to my son."
    2nd female voice, giggling: "Yes, I am, too."
    Her: "So, has he told you about the spankings I give him?"
   2nd, surprised voice:  "Sp..spankings? No, no, he hasn't said a word."
   Her:  "Well...  I spanked his bare bottom, often three times a week, when he was growing up, and since  he moved out of the house, he still comes over about once a week and gets a spanking.  He didn't tell you that?"
  2nd: "No,no, not a word."
  Her: "Not entirely a big surprise.  Anyway, not that you're going to marry him, it's going to be your duty.   Although I will certainly want to pitch in and help, whenever I can.  How about a demonstration?"
  2nd:  "Sure!"
   Her: "As time goes on, I can show you many different implements to use, and many different ways to do it, but this time, I'll show you what I consider the most basic."
  She enters on camera, and sits in the chair, and says, off-camera, "Now, Shilo, get undressed, and get over here."
  My voice: "Pleeeeese, Mom...no...."
  Her, sternly:  "Has pleading EVER gotten you out of a spanking, or in fact, did it just make it worse?  NOW, get undressed, and get over here."
 I enter on-camera, and go over Her lap.
 She says, looking off-camera,  "I ALWAYS have him get naked for spankings. I believe it underscores the power exchange involved, and adds to the vulnerability he feels."

4.  Camera shows a clock,  7:50
     Her voice:  "Shilo, it's almost time, are you getting ready?"
     Me:  "Please, do you HAVE to:?"
    Her, exasperated voice: "I want YOU to tell Me what We decided...."
    Me, stammering.. "Because of my disobedience, you would give me a spanking every night at 8 pm, for a month..."
   "So, are you getting ready?"
  "Yessss...."
   Camera to Her, sitting in the chair.
   I enter on camera, naked, and go over Her lap.




  
 
    

    

02.09 Diary

Up about 0930...
She made orange rolls.....for breakfast...
Then we went back to bed....
And had sex....
And went back to sleep.
I got up around 13:00...
Showered, dressed, packed up, made coffee...
Kissed Her goodbye, while She still slept....
Got in my car, and arrived at work  just about 14:30.
Interesting bit of overlapping scheduling....
 the guy that started at 0530 was still here, until 1600
 Another guy started at 0900...
 Another guy started at 1400..
 We only have 3 stations in the dispatch room.
So the guy scheduled to leave at 1600, was happy to leave at 1500.

So far....   2200 right now....  really quiet at work....   heh.

 Thoughts: it's been 17 FULL days since I've had any kind of, um, well, beating.
My notes say that the gastritis symptoms kicked in, some 14 days ago, which certainly is a major/primary factor in the abstinence.
But lately?
I wonder.... has She held back on giving beatings, waiting for me to say, "I'm ready..."?
  Although I remember a conversation, wherein She said, She is in an emotional cycle where She is much more interested in having sex than giving beatings.
And ...quite honestly...I am MORE than a little bit scared.
 When I go THIS long without beatings, there's a change in my pain threshold, and I feel like I can't take as much as when I'm 'in practice'
  BUT
 THAT does not effect Her any, as when She beats me, it's with the same vim and vigor, whether the last time was 10 hours ago, or 10 days ago. 
 So, it's more than a little intimidating, thinking about getting walloped the way She wallops, when I feel like my pain tolerance is down.
 And YET,  we have this spanking bench, sitting in our living room, been there a week....unused.
Damn.

HsLO 470
HsLS    12
HSLB   385
D UN   7.31.09





Sunday, February 9, 2014

02.08 Diary

Up 07:15.
We waited for a call from a contractor, which we got, saying our security door would be installed between 1 and 4.
So, we got up and dressed, and 3 of us went to a charity breakfast in RB.
Little-S came out twice, asking for a raggedy Ann doll, on sale there, and after I asked Merry for permission, I bought it, for the both of them.
Then, we went to Her post office, down the street.
Then a shopping center with a Staple's and a Walmart next to each other.
I went into Staples, while she and R went into Walmart, and after a while, we met back at Her car, and headed home.
R and I began the project of sweeping, then mopping, the entire house, not included C's room or my room, while She left, to do some more shopping.
While R and I were working, the contractors arrived, to install the security door, which took them all of 45 minutes.

R and I were just finishing, and as the contractors finished, She arrived home.
She was beginning to start dinner...or at least thaw out some chicken...while I was sitting, reading three days' newpapers...
And I overheard a conversation, between Her and R, having to do with WHY would he put down the fresh washed bath mats, without cleaning the bathroom first  etc etc...
So R started cleaning the bathroom.
I felt an intense aggravation....
And I spoke to Her about it.. pointing out that R is gone  11 hours a day to work, 5 days a week...AND we just finished sweeping and mopping the whole house...so what was up with this?
At which point, She went into the bathroom, and told R to get out of the way, that She was going to do it.
I felt aggravated and confused, so I grabbed my keys, and went to my car, and drove around a bit, thinking about it.
 I decided it was not my place to get involved in the interactions between Her and R, and if R had any issues with the conversation that just transpired, he needs to speak up for himself.
I returned home....
She asked me about emptying the shelves in the medicine cabinet.... and I looked at it, and finally said, "Just ...let me do it."
So, I emptied the medicine cabinet, and wiped down all the shelves, then I did the same with the cabinet over the toilet....   then I wiped out the tub, then cleaned out the toilet, then scrubbed down the floor, and then mopped it.

Then we had dinner.

Then the hot tub was warm enough to get into, and She and I stripped off, and naked, got into it.
During our time in there, She alternated personalities, between Her and Little-S.

One conversation was about.... how She has been feeling She's not good enough for me...
   Huh?
Another was that, She has talked to R about 'it', and R was okay with videotaping our scenes, including fisting....   I said, let's save that for another day.
And another was,  when She expressed an interest in my "deepest darkest most desired scene that I would like to videotape" which I had alluded to, in chat, some days prior.
Prior to this, She had mentioned a scene that involved, my nuts in a humbler behind my thighs,  licking Her between Her spread legs, while She used a cane on my buttocks....   and She said, She thought She was 'close' to my 'most desired' scene, with that.
But, no.
Lookit this:
   http://bruisedbottomguy.blogspot.com/2011/08/for-my-first-post-on-this-blog-i-post.html
and:



That short clip...back in my masturbating days.... never failed to 'get me off'.  I usually saved it for my 'grand finale', or for when I just wanted a 'quickie'.

I want to re-create that video..... featuring Her and me....
Her, on a chair, me, naked over Her lap, just like that, which She applies a....  well, not a hairbrush, as the ones we have don't have much effect, but I'm sure our smaller paddles WOULD.   Or a bathbrush, but we need to buy yet another one, as she's broken four of them on my butt, so far.

We were in the tub for like 90 minutes, and decided, it had to be time to get out.
We went in, and into the bathroom, and shared a shower.
And then to bed, where we were asleep around midnight.

HsLO 446
HsLS    35
HsLB   361
D UN   7-31-8




02.07 Diary

.Awake  0930.
Up for breakfast.
Back to bed, for sex.

Showered and dressed, and I got in my car to pick up Her son, Dy, in HB.
I brought him back to the house, and She got in the car, with my little chihuahua, Cookie.
We went to his doctor's office in HC, and they got out, then I went on to Her regular vet in Tr to get Cookie a follow up bordetella shot, which took maybe 10 minutes, in and out.
Then I went further up the road, to a Vitamin Shoppe, where I was able to get mastic gum extract, at which point, She called me, ready to go.   I said I was a ways away, and She said, they would walk across the street to another clinic, for a blood draw.
I was still driving towards them when She called, saying they were ready. 
I pulled in, and they got in the car, and we began the drive home.....
We arrived shortly after 17:00.
She took Dy to a supermarket......  and returned.....
And we all got in my car to go to HB for dinner.
We arrived, I realized my purse was missing, setting me off into some kind of panic, so I drove us all back home, and went in, and found it on the dining room table...
Then we went back to HB...and had dinner.
Then we took Dy back home to HB.
And returned home, as She and R slept in the car  and I was almost sleeping at the wheel.
We made it home safely, and were in bed at about 22:00.

HsLO 422
HsLS  12
HsLB  337 
Days Un  7-31-7

02.06 Diary

We got up around 0930, and had breakfast.
She was going to work....and I headed up to SW for a class on the Science of Mind.
Class lasted til 1300, then I went to the nearby CVS, which my doctor had sent my rx to...and picked up the rx.
Then I went to a nearby Honda dealer, to get a quote on having my car rekeyed and remote changed....ugh...don't wanna talk about that....
Then to a nearby GNC, looking for mastic gum extract, which they did not have.
Then to a nearby Office Depot for .3mm pencil leads, which they did not have....
At which point, it was about 15:30, and I began heading home, in rush hour traffic...
Arriving home around 17:00

I then started..and finished the project of changing fishtanks, upgrading the quarters of our large goldfish from a 10 gal tank to a 20 gallon tank.

Then dinner was ready. 

We went into my bedroom and watched the new TBBT.

...and had sex.....

and went to sleep, around 23:30.

HsLO 398
HsLS     1
HsLB  313
D UN  7-31-6



02.05 Diary

Off work at 10:00.
She picked me up at work, and we went to my doctor appointment in the valley.
There, we talked about my stomach and gastritis issues.
He prescribed an acid-blocker,  and we went on our way.
Straight home.
I had some lunch, and fell into bed, around 1445.

Up around 18:30;  She made dinner.
In the bedroom, we watched a TBBT from 1/30, then a rerun of TBBT,  then a rerun of "Rudoph..."
and went to sleep, around 23:00.

HsLO 374
HsLS 93
HsLB  289
D un  7-31-5

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

02.04 Diary....

Left work shortly after 0630...
Stopped at a Ralph's on the way for some shopping that I hoped would help with gastritis...
Home, about 0810.

I fed the animals, scooped a couple litter boxes.....

I undressed,  put on a robe, and checked in on Her.
She was awake, and understood, I really needed to get to bed, straightaway.
So of course, I sat down on the bed next to Her, and we talked for an hour.

Then we went to the kitchen.
She had coffee, and a bowl of dry Cheerios   No milk, no sugar, no nothin' on top.   I think there's a law against that, or ...there should be.
Meanwhile, I had  ham on toast, along with a salad concoction of  1 diced apple;  two garlic cloves cut in half (I honestly did not know what a 'clove' of garlic was, 'til this morning, nor did I have a clue what raw garlic was going to taste like),  one stalk of celery, chopped;  a handful of almond, all liberally coated in extra virgin olive oil....None of which has ever been part of my normal diet, but all of these ingredients ..except the celery which was just growing older in the fridge, so I chopped up a stalk and threw it in the bowl...   were selected for either their alkali-forming potential, or their potential effect on H Pylori.

She showered....   and I heard Her moan in climax as She was directing the water stream from the the movable shower-head to ...between Her legs.....
We talked a little as She dressed,  until She left for work.....
And I went to sleep....   1100 ish.

Up 1740.
So that She was napping....
Showered, dressed,  fed three cats and a dog....
Woke Her up,  because we had decided that She would take me to work...and come back to get me at 10:00, to go to my doctor at 11:20.  
She got up, to go pee.... and that's when R, who was going with us, decided it was time to change clothes.
I mean, seriously........
Now??
  She and I went to the car...and waited.   She was ready to ...leave without him... which I think is what he wanted, anyway...   he was only going, because She dislikes driving alone-at night-on the freeway.
Then She realized, She left Her phone in the bedroom, so I went to get it, and as I was coming out, so was R, and we were all in the car, and on the way.

I got to work, 1930,  and She (and he) headed out.

Work...not significantly easy ...or hard...   

Around midnight...0030, She called on the phone.... curious why I wasn't in the S-chat room.
I just had other things to do, mostly work related.
I did log in then, and we chatted ...some.
She told me about a thread on FL that She wanted me to reply to.
Too tired now, but I'll get to it.
She signed off 01:30 or so....

HsLO  350
HsLS  69
HsLB  265
D un   7-31-4


 



Tuesday, February 4, 2014

02.03 Diary

Off work 0630...... home about 0740.
Chores and feeding....
Undressed, no shower.....  went into Her room, hoping to just eat and go to bed, but She requested I get in bed with Her for a bit,  so I did.
We dozed, and got up after an hour or so....
I made dinner..... then as She was getting ready to go to work, we had a mad panicky scramble as She was looking for paperwork having to do with Her CPAP......
Finally found it,  and I went to sleep, shortly after She left for work.

She woke me up when I was not ready to get up, around 1700, and I dozed until 1735, and got up and showered and dressed....and sat on the toilet, like three times.
In the car, and back inside the house to use the toilet  AGAIN.

UGH.
This stomach problem has been a pain and a nuisance.

I  arrived at work  1940...and immediately went to the toilet.
And besides working, did some research on
gastritis
Bile reflux
H Pylori infection.

I gotta see my doctor.

Easy mid shift but with delays from the east coast,  I had a dozen drivers meeting arrivals after midnight, up to 3 am;  then a stupid-busy morning, with MANY drivers coming in for cars in the morning.
Ugh....

Hope to go home, and go quickly to bed, as  my LONG shift is upcoming, Tuesday night to Wednesday morning.  




Monday, February 3, 2014

02.02 Diary

We left the BoD and went to C's for coffee and ice cream, then headed home,  arriving two-ish.

We got in bed, and .... engaged in some rare sexual activities....
I tried, twice, and lost my erection each time, but She seemed to be enjoying Herself, to the point that, when She gasped a final orgasm, around 03:30, She began snoring, fast asleep.

We got up around 0930, and She made some kinda orange biscuit things for breakfast.

I went back to sleep, for a nap around 1145, and She joined me...
And up around 13:15.
And I showered, dressed, etc....
Went out to the car, and came back in, when I realized my cell phone was still on the charger...
And rolling to work, 14:15.
101 Fouled up ...again.... and arrived at work  15:10.
And so begins a scheduled  16 hour shift.

Happy to report, not much drama, and enough time to catch up on blogs and such.....

HsLO 302
HsLS  21
HsLD  217
D UN  7(Dec)31(Jan)2(Feb)









Sunday, February 2, 2014

02.01 Diary

Up 0900.

We spent some time in the hot tub.

She started early, on a dinner, that would be ready early.

I had dinner around 17:00,   and took a nap from 1800 to 2100.

She woke me up, and we dressed, to get ready for a party at the BoD.

We left around 2145,  stopped for cash....and continued to the venue.

Once inside, we... watched.
My stomach pains would not let me do anything else, so I camped out on a couch, She met with friends and chatted, and came back to me and cuddled...and we watched.
Until a bit past midnight.....

HsLO  278
HslS  254
HsLB  193
D un   7/31/1





Diary January statistics

for January:

Number of orgasms for me:   4
Number of times we had ...intercourse:  10
Number of 'beatings' at home  :  4   of which 1 was 'punishment' 
Number of 'beatings' at parties   4

Days unlocked:  31  plus 7 days from the end of December. 

01.31 Diary

Up around 0930.

She went off to get supplies for Her CPAP,  which became a difficulty, because it turns out, Her CPAP has technical difficulties, 
While D and I went out into the front yard and did a bunch of leaf-raking.  

In the meantime, we got a delivery: the spanking bench I bought on Ebay arrived, about a week before I expected it.
So, I put it together.

She came home, and we managed to get our 70 lb Pit in the car, and went to the vet, just for a free check up, offered to us by the shelter.
Nothing new or unusual there, and we returned home.

And ...I took a nap, from like 5pm to 8pm...

Then up for dinner,

and in bed, with Her, 23:30.

HsLO  254
HsLS  230
HsLB  169
D UN  31  (the whole month)





01.30 Diary

Up 0900,  and I did not much of anything,  due to stomach problems.
It finally dawned on me, much later, this was gastritis,  meaning not IN my stomach, but in the lining of my stomach.....  and it's been giving me fits since   Monday night, the 27th...

She went to an appointment with D, and I paid bills online, etc.
I showered and dressed, and when She got home, we went out shopping....
First to Home Depot, where we ordered a security door....
Then a Petsomething, for a crate for our Pit Bull
Then to a Dollar General next door, for random shopping...
Then a Von's for dinner type shopping....
and home.

She made dinner....  several dinners, one for me, one for Her, one for R and D....

and went to bed together, around 23:30

HsLO  230 
HsLS  206
HsLB  145
D un 30 this month



01.29 Diary

Off work at 10:00, and headed home....
Because Her son, D, was with us, R took the day off work, and took care of morning animal feeding, allowing me to pretty much go straight to bed.
I slept from 11:15 to 16:15.
I got up and showered and dressed, and the four of us went to a dinner gathering in BP.

We got home around 21:15....

I don't remember what we did for an hour or two, but She and I were in bed, by midnight.

HsLO  206
HsLS  182
HsLB 121
D UN  29 this month