Woke up ..or woken by Her, about 0900.
She suggested I grab one of the vibrators... then noticed... that I had evidently defecated in a diarrhetic way in my briefs and on to the sheets.
So, instead, we got up, stripped the bed... and She took the sheets to the washer, while I went to the toilet, to ...finish up.
Then coffee and a snack, then shower and dressed... after I put the jingling cock ring onto my scrotum, and we went out to my car, and headed to the Valley for a doctor's appointment for Her.
Nothing special, a routine three-month follow up, and we departed.
She has been telling me that She needs to do clothes shopping prior to Her May 3rd departure, so we decided to try the SOGallery, since it was just down the road.
Turns out, that place primarily restaurants and a movie theatre. We got a coffee for me, and a soda for Her, and went on our way, down the 405 a ways, and tried a mall there.
Same thing. Mostly food and movies, but no retail clothing stores.
We went into the JauntyRocks for lunch.
Then I went to the toilet, then She went to the toilet, then I noticed the one pen that I had 'out' ( as opposed to the dozens inside my man-purse) was missing.
Thinking I left it in the bathroom, I went back to take a look. Didn't find the pen, but I did find my cellphone that I left in there.
I came out, and stood around waiting for Her, until She came in from the front door.
She had come out of the toilet, couldn't find me, and went outside looking for me....
We departed, and headed for Terr, to the only beauty supply shop She knows that has the non-latex gloves She uses.
Then we went next door, to the Japanese buck-n-a-half store...
By which time little-s had 'come out' and was with me for the trip.
I told her, that SHE doesn't seem like a 'real' Domme, or a real-strict-harsh one, and she told me that SHE is 'afraid of me.'
Well.... that was enlightening.
Then we went to the supermarket, to get fixins for our Easter dinner, tonight.
Home, unloaded, unpacked, put stuff away.
Back to the toilet for me, while she started dinner.
I started redoing my notebooks
And got the clean sheets on my bed.
We had dinner, including Her, not her.
And went into the bedroom.
And we talked.... about such things, as WHY She might be afraid of me.
The simplest part of the answer was, because She has to live with me.
Sleep... around 0200.
HsLS 107
HsLO 398
HsLB 75 1/2
D Un 121
D U.P. 2
Her D.O.? No
Did I offer D.O.? No
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Monday, April 28, 2014
04.28 a.m. Journal
Considering our low order count (at work)... this shift has been a Futher-mucker.
The server controlling our dispatch program was off for maintenance for two and a half hours.
And the phone would not stop ringing, with new puzzles or problems accompanying each phone call.
Why am I writing about this?
Because...I have not written my diary entries for the 23rd...24th...25th...26th...27th...
and this is my reason.
For the first time in a very long time, I actually had work to do here.
The server controlling our dispatch program was off for maintenance for two and a half hours.
And the phone would not stop ringing, with new puzzles or problems accompanying each phone call.
Why am I writing about this?
Because...I have not written my diary entries for the 23rd...24th...25th...26th...27th...
and this is my reason.
For the first time in a very long time, I actually had work to do here.
4.28 Journal
I have generated a number of notebooks... pages put in binders... different subjects near and dear to me, with the idea that someday, I might have a comprehensive how-to book.
The subjects: Spanking and corporal punishment, slavery and/or Femdom, pegging + enemas + anal play, and male chastity.
Of interest right NOW, which is to say, the focus of this post, is male chastity.
By 'male chastity', I do not mean, making a decision to be chaste.
I mean, ENFORCED male chastity, via the use of a chastity device.
My interest in enforced male chastity (abbreviated EMC for brevity, as I go on), and very specifically, EMC applied to me, started in late September, 2012.
I had a roommate, but she lived upstairs in our townhouse, I lived downstairs. I had not engaged in intercourse in about a decade. And I was engaging in masturbation ...frequently, spending hours in edging myself and stopping and edging myself, until I allowed myself to cum.... then having the feelings of shame and disgust with myself, for spending so much time in what seemed to be a pointless activity.
.... Then starting the cycle over.
Then I spotted on eBay, an inexpensive chastity device... a foreign knock off of a CB-6000.
I bought it...and received it within a week.
And started using it. A day or so at first,then a week. Then, I tried to get really serious with it.
One thing I missed, even though I had yet to experience it, was ...to have someone else holding the key.
Without that, I could unlock myself anytime I wanted.
At one point, I put the key to the lock inside the glove compartment of my car, just so I'd have to go downstairs and outside to get the key, if I wanted to, all that badly.
And that's putting aside the fact that I have some lock picking skills, and I found, just by testing, that I can easily pick the locks provided with this thing...and the locks provided with other devices I ordered, as time when on.
March of 2013...I communicated with a guy that I met online...that became a Top to my bottom, giving me spankings on my bare bottom whenever we got together, but one of his orders before we got together the first time, was to lock myself up in a device, and remain locked up until he said otherwise, for a period up to the last day of March.
He came to my house twice during March, and paddled my butt hard enough to leave bruises each time.
When he came by on the 10th, he said he had other obligations the following weekend, and would not be able to come over.
We communicated via email for a few days into the week, then I stopped initiating email contact, and he never did initiate.
Never. At all.
Right up to the 31st.
At midnight of April 1, I took off the device, and had a bit of a party, stroking my penis and enjoying the hell out of it.
And so, I did not engage in self imposed EMC after that.
I met Merry, briefly at a party, late that month.
We began exchanging messages through Fet.
One of many things she mentioned that she liked, was imposing chastity on a male sub.
After many messages, she asked if I wanted to be her play partner at an upcoming party, and I said, yes, or hell yes, or something like that.
We got together at the party, and she beat my bottom remarkably well, even breaking her own index finger on her right hand, while doing so.
On June 15, we signed a Dominant/submissive contract.
On June 23, we signed a Mistress/slave contract.
We lived 50 miles apart, but were in constant telephone/text/email contact
She gave me specific directives about masturbation, telling me how many days a week I could masturbate (at the start, three) and how long I could do it before I had to stop (like, twenty minutes).
In one phone conversation, she told me she had not forgotten about enforcing chastity, she planned to do it ...soon.
Which I found terrifying, in the moment.
At the end of June, we confessed to each other, that we had fallen in love with each other.
A couple of days after that, we engaged in sexual intercourse.
And she decided, no masturbation for me, at all. I was free to cum whenever I could during intercourse, but no masturbation.
(She will be quick to point out, I broke that rule, on my birthday in November, while she slept next to me, but that is not the subject of this post.)
In early-mid July, she was going on an out of state trip....and that is when she decided to lock me up for the first time.
And released me, shortly after her return.
She continued to lock me up... and release me... during the following months, during which she asked me to marry her, and I agreed... and we got married in Las Vegas...and returned to our separate homes, until we found a house and moved in, together.
She locked me up during December, with the idea of unlocking me on Christmas morning, as a present to herself and to me.
But abrasions were showing at the base of my penis, and she unlocked me the day before.
And did not lock me up again, until April 25th, prior to leaving on a weekend road trip with some lady friends.
I am still locked up, as I write this, BTW.
So much for history.
What does this have to do with my notebooks-come-manuals?
It relates to how I FEEL about this.
I have a love-hate relationship with EMC.
And she knows it. I have frequently reacted in some passive-aggressive manner when she imposed chastity on me. And she wonders why, given my claims of liking it so much.
I love having the lack of control.
I hate not having control, myself.
And it's not that I want to be free ..to masturbate. Not that, at all.
I think it relates to my lousy experience a year ago, when the Top left me hanging, just forgot about me. \
Then there's all the porn I read, most likely fantasy fiction written by men (that's what I really believe) having to do with guys locked up by their wifes/girlfriends for months...and months...and months....
And there's the vagueness that Merry uses when she talks about it, never being specific about how long she intends to keep me locked up...and it just scares me.
And finally... there's arbitrariness.... the ol' "because I said so."
When she locks me up, that's the reason for it that I get.
Which I just don't like.
I would prefer if she said, "Because it pleases me."
Now, I KNOW that ...if we used a lock and key, I could just pick it if I wanted to, and when she uses a plastic numbered lock, I could just cut it, IF I wanted to.
But I don't want to, I want to be able to submit to however long she wants it to be.
Yet it scares me.
Finally, getting to my point about my notebooks....
I was rearranging them, and doing some reading....
With special interest in the writings about male chastity.
With intent interest on discussions of dopamine, oxytocin, and prolactin.
Dopamine causes pleasure, levels rise with arousal, and floods in at orgasm.
Oxytocin helps in bonding and connection, aids in after glow, levels rise during arousal.
Prolactin creates a feeling of satiation, even depression, and puts the breaks on dopamine and oxytocin.
At orgasm, prolactin kicks in, causing the 'drop', with dopamine and oxytocin levels falling to the floor, while prolactin hangs around for a couple weeks.
Thus the male continues to feel Unaroused, Unconnected, depressed for some time after orgasm.
So:
Merry has reassured me on countless occasions that she is NOT going to lock me up and just 'throw away the key.' She enjoys sex with me FAR TOO MUCH to do that.
I've had trouble REALLY accepting that. But I should
AND
I now understand a logical reason for being locked up.
It would aid to keeping my dopamine and prolactin levels up.
Which would aid in keeping me interested in her, sexually and in so many other ways.
So, now I get it.
I'm 'in'.
When she orders a lock up, I can and will accept it, with no negative reactions, maybe even with positive reactions.
The subjects: Spanking and corporal punishment, slavery and/or Femdom, pegging + enemas + anal play, and male chastity.
Of interest right NOW, which is to say, the focus of this post, is male chastity.
By 'male chastity', I do not mean, making a decision to be chaste.
I mean, ENFORCED male chastity, via the use of a chastity device.
My interest in enforced male chastity (abbreviated EMC for brevity, as I go on), and very specifically, EMC applied to me, started in late September, 2012.
I had a roommate, but she lived upstairs in our townhouse, I lived downstairs. I had not engaged in intercourse in about a decade. And I was engaging in masturbation ...frequently, spending hours in edging myself and stopping and edging myself, until I allowed myself to cum.... then having the feelings of shame and disgust with myself, for spending so much time in what seemed to be a pointless activity.
.... Then starting the cycle over.
Then I spotted on eBay, an inexpensive chastity device... a foreign knock off of a CB-6000.
I bought it...and received it within a week.
And started using it. A day or so at first,then a week. Then, I tried to get really serious with it.
One thing I missed, even though I had yet to experience it, was ...to have someone else holding the key.
Without that, I could unlock myself anytime I wanted.
At one point, I put the key to the lock inside the glove compartment of my car, just so I'd have to go downstairs and outside to get the key, if I wanted to, all that badly.
And that's putting aside the fact that I have some lock picking skills, and I found, just by testing, that I can easily pick the locks provided with this thing...and the locks provided with other devices I ordered, as time when on.
March of 2013...I communicated with a guy that I met online...that became a Top to my bottom, giving me spankings on my bare bottom whenever we got together, but one of his orders before we got together the first time, was to lock myself up in a device, and remain locked up until he said otherwise, for a period up to the last day of March.
He came to my house twice during March, and paddled my butt hard enough to leave bruises each time.
When he came by on the 10th, he said he had other obligations the following weekend, and would not be able to come over.
We communicated via email for a few days into the week, then I stopped initiating email contact, and he never did initiate.
Never. At all.
Right up to the 31st.
At midnight of April 1, I took off the device, and had a bit of a party, stroking my penis and enjoying the hell out of it.
And so, I did not engage in self imposed EMC after that.
I met Merry, briefly at a party, late that month.
We began exchanging messages through Fet.
One of many things she mentioned that she liked, was imposing chastity on a male sub.
After many messages, she asked if I wanted to be her play partner at an upcoming party, and I said, yes, or hell yes, or something like that.
We got together at the party, and she beat my bottom remarkably well, even breaking her own index finger on her right hand, while doing so.
On June 15, we signed a Dominant/submissive contract.
On June 23, we signed a Mistress/slave contract.
We lived 50 miles apart, but were in constant telephone/text/email contact
She gave me specific directives about masturbation, telling me how many days a week I could masturbate (at the start, three) and how long I could do it before I had to stop (like, twenty minutes).
In one phone conversation, she told me she had not forgotten about enforcing chastity, she planned to do it ...soon.
Which I found terrifying, in the moment.
At the end of June, we confessed to each other, that we had fallen in love with each other.
A couple of days after that, we engaged in sexual intercourse.
And she decided, no masturbation for me, at all. I was free to cum whenever I could during intercourse, but no masturbation.
(She will be quick to point out, I broke that rule, on my birthday in November, while she slept next to me, but that is not the subject of this post.)
In early-mid July, she was going on an out of state trip....and that is when she decided to lock me up for the first time.
And released me, shortly after her return.
She continued to lock me up... and release me... during the following months, during which she asked me to marry her, and I agreed... and we got married in Las Vegas...and returned to our separate homes, until we found a house and moved in, together.
She locked me up during December, with the idea of unlocking me on Christmas morning, as a present to herself and to me.
But abrasions were showing at the base of my penis, and she unlocked me the day before.
And did not lock me up again, until April 25th, prior to leaving on a weekend road trip with some lady friends.
I am still locked up, as I write this, BTW.
So much for history.
What does this have to do with my notebooks-come-manuals?
It relates to how I FEEL about this.
I have a love-hate relationship with EMC.
And she knows it. I have frequently reacted in some passive-aggressive manner when she imposed chastity on me. And she wonders why, given my claims of liking it so much.
I love having the lack of control.
I hate not having control, myself.
And it's not that I want to be free ..to masturbate. Not that, at all.
I think it relates to my lousy experience a year ago, when the Top left me hanging, just forgot about me. \
Then there's all the porn I read, most likely fantasy fiction written by men (that's what I really believe) having to do with guys locked up by their wifes/girlfriends for months...and months...and months....
And there's the vagueness that Merry uses when she talks about it, never being specific about how long she intends to keep me locked up...and it just scares me.
And finally... there's arbitrariness.... the ol' "because I said so."
When she locks me up, that's the reason for it that I get.
Which I just don't like.
I would prefer if she said, "Because it pleases me."
Now, I KNOW that ...if we used a lock and key, I could just pick it if I wanted to, and when she uses a plastic numbered lock, I could just cut it, IF I wanted to.
But I don't want to, I want to be able to submit to however long she wants it to be.
Yet it scares me.
Finally, getting to my point about my notebooks....
I was rearranging them, and doing some reading....
With special interest in the writings about male chastity.
With intent interest on discussions of dopamine, oxytocin, and prolactin.
Dopamine causes pleasure, levels rise with arousal, and floods in at orgasm.
Oxytocin helps in bonding and connection, aids in after glow, levels rise during arousal.
Prolactin creates a feeling of satiation, even depression, and puts the breaks on dopamine and oxytocin.
At orgasm, prolactin kicks in, causing the 'drop', with dopamine and oxytocin levels falling to the floor, while prolactin hangs around for a couple weeks.
Thus the male continues to feel Unaroused, Unconnected, depressed for some time after orgasm.
So:
Merry has reassured me on countless occasions that she is NOT going to lock me up and just 'throw away the key.' She enjoys sex with me FAR TOO MUCH to do that.
I've had trouble REALLY accepting that. But I should
AND
I now understand a logical reason for being locked up.
It would aid to keeping my dopamine and prolactin levels up.
Which would aid in keeping me interested in her, sexually and in so many other ways.
So, now I get it.
I'm 'in'.
When she orders a lock up, I can and will accept it, with no negative reactions, maybe even with positive reactions.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
4.27 Diary Still locked up
Up 11.45
It woulda been nice to get up in time to go to Service, but I wanted?need? the sleep.
Went to the toilet, cleaned the porta-potty, fed my Cookie, checked the hot tub, sprayed flea spray around my room, ate something, took my pills, read the newspaper....
Showered and dressed and left my budget/spreadsheet on Her desk... and packed up,
...was in my car 1417, and at work 15:16.
Just a crappy night at work, mostly due to my feelings of ...rage...towards my co-worker.
Fudeu caralho!
HsLS 179
HsLO 470
HsLB 147 1/2
H Locked 62
Her DO? not applicable
from Rules of Enforced Chastity
She owns me, including all my genitalia. She decides what to do with any and all of me, and of it. She has the right to secure it and lock it up, if that is Her desire.
from My My Manifesto
I may not seek any other Mistress or Master or Dominant or Top or lover without having Her express consent and permission, and any I may find must meet with Her approval.
It woulda been nice to get up in time to go to Service, but I wanted?need? the sleep.
Went to the toilet, cleaned the porta-potty, fed my Cookie, checked the hot tub, sprayed flea spray around my room, ate something, took my pills, read the newspaper....
Showered and dressed and left my budget/spreadsheet on Her desk... and packed up,
...was in my car 1417, and at work 15:16.
Just a crappy night at work, mostly due to my feelings of ...rage...towards my co-worker.
Fudeu caralho!
HsLS 179
HsLO 470
HsLB 147 1/2
H Locked 62
Her DO? not applicable
from Rules of Enforced Chastity
She owns me, including all my genitalia. She decides what to do with any and all of me, and of it. She has the right to secure it and lock it up, if that is Her desire.
from My My Manifesto
I may not seek any other Mistress or Master or Dominant or Top or lover without having Her express consent and permission, and any I may find must meet with Her approval.
 |
| Just woke up, a little on the 'full' side |
 |
| Love these briefs when wearing a device |
 |
| When wearing a device, I love these briefs. |
Saturday, April 26, 2014
04.26 Diary (locked up all day)
Alarm 0715.
Actually up, 0800.
Took pills.
Animals, fed by Stitch.
Showered and dressed.
Packed up, in car 0900.
At work, 0940.
...
OUT 19:42.
Home, an hour later.
She called me while I was still 20 minutes away from home. I answered the phone with, "I'm driving right now, honey."
"I'll let you go," She said.
Once home, I sent Her a text, "Now would be okay."
She called, we talked briefly.
I got the last of my laundry out of the dryer in and away.
And set up my laptops and cussed at them for not working how I wanted them to.
Fixed and ate dinner, and watched a couple "Mike and Molly"s.
Went to sleep 00:30
HsLS 155
HsLO 446
HsLB 123 1/2
H Locked 38
Her DO? Not applicable, She was out of town
from Ten Commandments
I will request punishment when I deserve it, and readily submit to any punishments you choose to apply.
From My Manifest
I am expected to maintain a positive outlook.
Actually up, 0800.
Took pills.
Animals, fed by Stitch.
Showered and dressed.
Packed up, in car 0900.
At work, 0940.
...
OUT 19:42.
Home, an hour later.
She called me while I was still 20 minutes away from home. I answered the phone with, "I'm driving right now, honey."
"I'll let you go," She said.
Once home, I sent Her a text, "Now would be okay."
She called, we talked briefly.
I got the last of my laundry out of the dryer in and away.
And set up my laptops and cussed at them for not working how I wanted them to.
Fixed and ate dinner, and watched a couple "Mike and Molly"s.
Went to sleep 00:30
HsLS 155
HsLO 446
HsLB 123 1/2
H Locked 38
Her DO? Not applicable, She was out of town
from Ten Commandments
I will request punishment when I deserve it, and readily submit to any punishments you choose to apply.
From My Manifest
I am expected to maintain a positive outlook.
 |
| Naked meditation before work |
 |
| Dressing for work |
 |
| For work, dressing |
04.25 Diary (Back in the cage....again....)
Up, 0900, and running to the toilet with diarrhea.
I fed the animals...
AND
She said, "It's time for your lock up, get a device, and get it on."
I did.
She tried to shut the plastic lock in place, and couldn't, so I did that too.
She started getting ready for Her trip, packing and such, and I helped as much as I could.
Her friends that were supposed to arrive at 1100, arrived at 1045. I saw them walking up the walk to our front door, as She was coming in the back door from the laundry area, still half naked, and I told Her to 'hurry up'.
She got dressed, and came into the living room, and addressed the two ladies there, telling them that ...
in fact, She has been divorced from Stitch for some time now, and is married to me, as of September last.
One of the ladies said, "I thought you were gay...."
I whispered with a smile, "She ... lied."
Then added, "That was just...the cover story."
I helped Her get Her bags to the vehicle, and aided in navigation, and the three of them, with Her driving one of the other's van, departed around 11:30.
I went in, for another sit down on the toilet, and self-administered a couple bulb's worth of enemas, in an attempt to get it all out at once.
And I dressed, and filled out the time sheets that arrived weeks ago, with Her hours of working at HLB's house.
Then I went out to my car..... stopped for gas... and drove to HLB's house, to get his signature on the sheets.
Which resulted in much conversation, at least on the listening end, as HLB always has much to say on any given subject.
At a moment when he stopped long enough to take a breath, I got up and excused myself out.
We're the joke of the neighborhood, but why should we care if we're feeling good, and I took the long way home.
....Stopping at Her bank, to deposit the checks that came in the day before, then CVS for various prescriptions, then home.
..cleaned out the porta-potty in my bedroom, and scooped the litter box, and took a shower, and started Her laundry, and emptied the dishwasher, and measured the front yard, and drew a diagram, and cut down the spanking-yardstick, and continued with laundry, and gathered a bunch of trash to take out, and went out to the garage to count another box of comics, and brought in my box of spanko magazines, and then watched an episode of BBT from which I wanted to write down some dialog...
And I made dinner for myself.... and I finished off watching the Archer series....
And asleep about 0130, which was kinda stupid, as I was getting up kinda early to go to work.
HsLS 131
HsLO 422
HsLB 99 1/2
H Un/L 10/14
Her DO? No
Did I offer? No
From "Ten Commandments"
I confess all my transgressions to You, and I never lie to you."
From My Manifesto
I will never leave Her room without permission at any time unless it is a life threatening emergency.
I fed the animals...
AND
She said, "It's time for your lock up, get a device, and get it on."
I did.
She tried to shut the plastic lock in place, and couldn't, so I did that too.
She started getting ready for Her trip, packing and such, and I helped as much as I could.
Her friends that were supposed to arrive at 1100, arrived at 1045. I saw them walking up the walk to our front door, as She was coming in the back door from the laundry area, still half naked, and I told Her to 'hurry up'.
She got dressed, and came into the living room, and addressed the two ladies there, telling them that ...
in fact, She has been divorced from Stitch for some time now, and is married to me, as of September last.
One of the ladies said, "I thought you were gay...."
I whispered with a smile, "She ... lied."
Then added, "That was just...the cover story."
I helped Her get Her bags to the vehicle, and aided in navigation, and the three of them, with Her driving one of the other's van, departed around 11:30.
I went in, for another sit down on the toilet, and self-administered a couple bulb's worth of enemas, in an attempt to get it all out at once.
And I dressed, and filled out the time sheets that arrived weeks ago, with Her hours of working at HLB's house.
Then I went out to my car..... stopped for gas... and drove to HLB's house, to get his signature on the sheets.
Which resulted in much conversation, at least on the listening end, as HLB always has much to say on any given subject.
At a moment when he stopped long enough to take a breath, I got up and excused myself out.
We're the joke of the neighborhood, but why should we care if we're feeling good, and I took the long way home.
....Stopping at Her bank, to deposit the checks that came in the day before, then CVS for various prescriptions, then home.
..cleaned out the porta-potty in my bedroom, and scooped the litter box, and took a shower, and started Her laundry, and emptied the dishwasher, and measured the front yard, and drew a diagram, and cut down the spanking-yardstick, and continued with laundry, and gathered a bunch of trash to take out, and went out to the garage to count another box of comics, and brought in my box of spanko magazines, and then watched an episode of BBT from which I wanted to write down some dialog...
And I made dinner for myself.... and I finished off watching the Archer series....
And asleep about 0130, which was kinda stupid, as I was getting up kinda early to go to work.
HsLS 131
HsLO 422
HsLB 99 1/2
H Un/L 10/14
Her DO? No
Did I offer? No
From "Ten Commandments"
I confess all my transgressions to You, and I never lie to you."
From My Manifesto
I will never leave Her room without permission at any time unless it is a life threatening emergency.
04.23 Diary
At work, I had time to think about... what a JERK I was, yesterday, and how disrespectful I treated Her, and talked to Her.
On the way home, I thought about it, decided I would admit to it, confess to it, apologize for it, and recommend various possible punishments.
So off work, and in my car 10:00 heading home.
I came up with five assorted punishments, all involving impact play.
As a dedicated Spanko-on-the-receiving-end, it might be 'odd' for me to be thinking of using impact play for punishment, seeing as how I enjoy it so much, but the scenarios I was coming up with, I did not think I would really 'enjoy', at least while in progress.... I might even be left in tears, and most probably have long lasting bruises on my bottom.
She was up and sitting and reading, when I arrived home.
I said a cordial, "Hello" and went about feeding my cats, then entered the living room to talk to Her.
She quickly suggested I pull out the spanking bench <from the corner of the dining room, where we store it when not in use.
I hesitated, as whatever She had in mind would almost certainly be more 'fun' that what I was going to suggest.
But then I said, 'I need to ...talk.'
"Okay."
I admitted to being disrespectful, smart-mouthed, self willed, etc, the day prior. I said, I should be punished for it, and I have some ideas in that regard.
"Let's hear them."
And I told Her. And I won't repeat them here.
Because, She all but blew them off.
which has been an ongoing facet of our relationship. I may be exaggerating, but it seems like, any suggestion I have in regard to our S&M play is met with minimal interest on Her part, and rarely if ever acted upon.
She said, "Um. Let's do this, instead."
She went to my room, and came back with an object, a plastic circular ring that had small bells set on the inside and outside of the ring.
"Get undressed."
I did.
She started to fit the ring around my package, then said, "Have you had a shower, yet?
"No."
"Go, take one."
I did, and dried off, and returned to Her.
She pulled my scrotum through the circle, followed by my penis.
"Now, I want you to prance when you walk, so that I can hear the bells tingling wherever you go. You will wear this all the time when you here at home, or with me, away from home, until I leave on Friday.
Go, stand in the corner."
I went, and stood in the corner in the foyer, such that the front door could hit me in the back when it is opened. I stood with my feet close together, hands and arms straight at my sides, my nose pressed into the corner.
I began reciting to myself such things as 'God is, I am, right here, right now.." and "I release and I let go, let the spirit run my life...'
Until She called out from behind me, "Recite the ABCs."
I did so, in a monotone, "A B C D E..."
I tried going all the way through in one breath, then I tried going through twice on one breath.... must have gone through it a dozen times, when She said, "Now, recite Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat"
"Eh?"
"Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder what you're at, up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky..."
Which I did, a dozen times or so.
Then, She came up close behind me, and started asked me questions from "The Dominant Wive's Handbook".
Then She said, "Okay, turn around. You're done there, get something to eat. Oh, I want the living room floor swept and mopped."
I ate...and sat down in my reclining chair, and took a nap, from, oh, 1515 to 1600.
She woke me up, and told me to follow Her, into the backyard.
I did, and She told me to have a seat in the patio chair.
She put a towel around my neck, and showed me the hair dye that She was about to put in my hair.
"My idea of punishment, is trying to embarrass you. I doubt if it will work...nothing seems to embarrass you, but if you have to go to work, with this red color in your hair, well, we will see."
And She rubbed it in.
Then we went to the bathroom, where I put a stool in the tub to sit on, and She began washing the dye out.
I finished up, and got out and dried off....
And went and gathered broom and swifter....and went about sweeping and mopping the living room floor.
Finished, I asked for Her approval.
She grabbed a paper towel, moistened it, then knelt to the floor, and wiped the towel across it.
The towel picked up some dirt, yet She said, "Okay, much better than it was."
Stitch had been home a little while, and our other boarder had come home.
We dressed and went out to eat.
I misunderstood, thought we were going to HomeBuffet, but was told, no, we're going to SoupPlants.
Fortunately, they are next door to each other.
We ate well, and went home.
I went to my room and watched Fargo and Nurse Jackie while working on my how-to BDSM related notebooks.
She came in to join me.
And told me, no, I did not to wear the jingling cock ring while we slept.
We went lights out around midnight, but I didn't get to sleep until 0100 or so.
Thinking about .... the whole scene, this day...
I felt a burst of passive-aggressive anger within me.
The cock ring ...did not bother me.
The hair dye did not bother me. (Does not bother me)
The corner time ...bothered me....because of the position that She demands. With my feet so close together, it HURTS in my ankles and the tendons from my heels up through the back of my legs.
I don't think this position is meant to hurt.
So, I think it was making me feel ... angry... and I still don't know what to do about it.
HsLS 83
HsLO 374
HsLB 51 1/2
DUN 120
Days U.P. 1/2
Her D.O? No
Did I offer? No
On the way home, I thought about it, decided I would admit to it, confess to it, apologize for it, and recommend various possible punishments.
So off work, and in my car 10:00 heading home.
I came up with five assorted punishments, all involving impact play.
As a dedicated Spanko-on-the-receiving-end, it might be 'odd' for me to be thinking of using impact play for punishment, seeing as how I enjoy it so much, but the scenarios I was coming up with, I did not think I would really 'enjoy', at least while in progress.... I might even be left in tears, and most probably have long lasting bruises on my bottom.
She was up and sitting and reading, when I arrived home.
I said a cordial, "Hello" and went about feeding my cats, then entered the living room to talk to Her.
She quickly suggested I pull out the spanking bench <from the corner of the dining room, where we store it when not in use.
I hesitated, as whatever She had in mind would almost certainly be more 'fun' that what I was going to suggest.
But then I said, 'I need to ...talk.'
"Okay."
I admitted to being disrespectful, smart-mouthed, self willed, etc, the day prior. I said, I should be punished for it, and I have some ideas in that regard.
"Let's hear them."
And I told Her. And I won't repeat them here.
Because, She all but blew them off.
which has been an ongoing facet of our relationship. I may be exaggerating, but it seems like, any suggestion I have in regard to our S&M play is met with minimal interest on Her part, and rarely if ever acted upon.
She said, "Um. Let's do this, instead."
She went to my room, and came back with an object, a plastic circular ring that had small bells set on the inside and outside of the ring.
"Get undressed."
I did.
She started to fit the ring around my package, then said, "Have you had a shower, yet?
"No."
"Go, take one."
I did, and dried off, and returned to Her.
She pulled my scrotum through the circle, followed by my penis.
"Now, I want you to prance when you walk, so that I can hear the bells tingling wherever you go. You will wear this all the time when you here at home, or with me, away from home, until I leave on Friday.
Go, stand in the corner."
I went, and stood in the corner in the foyer, such that the front door could hit me in the back when it is opened. I stood with my feet close together, hands and arms straight at my sides, my nose pressed into the corner.
I began reciting to myself such things as 'God is, I am, right here, right now.." and "I release and I let go, let the spirit run my life...'
Until She called out from behind me, "Recite the ABCs."
I did so, in a monotone, "A B C D E..."
I tried going all the way through in one breath, then I tried going through twice on one breath.... must have gone through it a dozen times, when She said, "Now, recite Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat"
"Eh?"
"Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder what you're at, up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky..."
Which I did, a dozen times or so.
Then, She came up close behind me, and started asked me questions from "The Dominant Wive's Handbook".
Then She said, "Okay, turn around. You're done there, get something to eat. Oh, I want the living room floor swept and mopped."
I ate...and sat down in my reclining chair, and took a nap, from, oh, 1515 to 1600.
She woke me up, and told me to follow Her, into the backyard.
I did, and She told me to have a seat in the patio chair.
She put a towel around my neck, and showed me the hair dye that She was about to put in my hair.
"My idea of punishment, is trying to embarrass you. I doubt if it will work...nothing seems to embarrass you, but if you have to go to work, with this red color in your hair, well, we will see."
And She rubbed it in.
Then we went to the bathroom, where I put a stool in the tub to sit on, and She began washing the dye out.
I finished up, and got out and dried off....
And went and gathered broom and swifter....and went about sweeping and mopping the living room floor.
Finished, I asked for Her approval.
She grabbed a paper towel, moistened it, then knelt to the floor, and wiped the towel across it.
The towel picked up some dirt, yet She said, "Okay, much better than it was."
Stitch had been home a little while, and our other boarder had come home.
We dressed and went out to eat.
I misunderstood, thought we were going to HomeBuffet, but was told, no, we're going to SoupPlants.
Fortunately, they are next door to each other.
We ate well, and went home.
I went to my room and watched Fargo and Nurse Jackie while working on my how-to BDSM related notebooks.
She came in to join me.
And told me, no, I did not to wear the jingling cock ring while we slept.
We went lights out around midnight, but I didn't get to sleep until 0100 or so.
Thinking about .... the whole scene, this day...
I felt a burst of passive-aggressive anger within me.
The cock ring ...did not bother me.
The hair dye did not bother me. (Does not bother me)
The corner time ...bothered me....because of the position that She demands. With my feet so close together, it HURTS in my ankles and the tendons from my heels up through the back of my legs.
I don't think this position is meant to hurt.
So, I think it was making me feel ... angry... and I still don't know what to do about it.
HsLS 83
HsLO 374
HsLB 51 1/2
DUN 120
Days U.P. 1/2
Her D.O? No
Did I offer? No
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