Showing posts with label chastity for couples. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chastity for couples. Show all posts

Saturday, September 5, 2015

9.05 Chastity, living the lifestyle

Living the Male Chastity Lifestyle

There are many compelling reasons why a couple
would want to incorporate the male chastity lifestyle into their relationship. 
  • 1. Male chastity is easily one of the most erotic fantasies that a man can possibly have. The woman who can make it ‘real’ for him will have his everlasting attention, interest and loyalty.
  • 2. For couples who have an otherwise loving relationship but find that the romance and sex have lost their luster, a chastity device can liven things up a LOT.
  • 3. For men who are in the habit of adopting a distant and disdainful demeanor immediately after sex, male chastity will change all of that…. real quick!
  • 4. For the woman who is sexually frustrated by his lack of staying power or his overall disinterest in her pleasure, the chastity lifestyle can provide all the sexual enjoyment and satisfaction the she could ever hope for.
  • 5. The female often gets stuck with doing most, if not all, of the housework. When she takes the prerogative of locking him up in a male chastity device, that dynamic turns completely around. Now he is doing all of the housework…. and more.
  • 6. If he happens to have a masturbation problem (as many males do), then that issue is immediately solved with male chastity. The only time he will be jerking off now is under strict supervision and for her amusement and entertainment purposes only.
  • 7. For the female who appreciates being adored and receiving lots of male affection, watch out! A chastised male will be giving you much more attention than you bargained for.
  • 8. After hundreds and thousand of years of psychological and physical programming, males have been conditioned to want, expect and even need an orgasm every two or three days (at least). Male chastity effectively re-programs the male mind to place the emphasis on her satisfaction instead of his.
  • 9. Men appreciate the anticipation and romance that leads up to sex just as much as women do. Using a male chastity device extends that erotic anticipation and puts him on a perpetual high that only ends when she decides that it ends. His female keyholder is actually giving him what he really wants and craves.
  • 10. The male chastity lifestyle actually affirms and supports what everyone already knows is true; men are easily controlled and manipulated with sex. A smart woman takes advantage of this weakness in the makeup of the male and becomes a master manipulatress using male chastity as her preferred instrument of control…. all with his (initially anyway) approval.
Want to bring the fun, adventure and intimacy back into your relationship?
There’s no better way to accomplish that than to begin practicing long term orgasm denial (for him). To effectively do that, you will need a male chastity device which you can find right here.

Friday, September 4, 2015

9.04 On chastity teasing and non-orgasmic activites

Non-orgasmic activities #2

Ok, you have him naked and on his back. Remove his cage. Once uncaged, masturbate him. Watch him carefully. If you want, tell him to let you know when he is close. You can tell him that if he has an “accident” he will stay locked with no teasing for a month. Get him to help you, but don’t necessarily believe him in the beginning.
Tease him any way you want. The objective is to get him close to orgasm without letting him get release. Getting him very aroused is just as good as bringing him right to the edge. While he may think it is for his fun, your real objective is to keep those hormones flowing and reminding his body of what it is missing. You can do this over and over as many times as you want. If you keep it up long enough, he will actually lose the ability to come for a while. Just remember, no orgasms until his release date!
When you are done, lock him up again and have him lick or finger you to as many orgasms as you like. 

Non-orgasmic activities #1

Many males believe that they will always be horny. If you lock them up and ignore them, they think that their desire to get off will continue to grow. This is true up to a point, but the fact is that if a man or woman is not sexually stimulated, over time the desire for sex will diminish and eventually disappear.  That’s why regular, non orgasmic sexual activities are needed to keep him wanting.
It may seem cruel, but a key component of enforced chastity is to keep your caged male in a continuous state of heat. Every day without an orgasm should feel like it is lasting forever and he should grow more and more desperate for release. That, after all, is the real core of all those chastity fantasies. The way to do this is through regular non-orgasmic teasing.
Most keyholders become expert cock teases. They learn how to bring their males within millimeters of an orgasm and then stopping. This is a technique every new keyholder must develop. The most common, and easiest way, is by masturbating him. The setup for this is up to you. Some keyholders restrain the male’s hands during this activity. Most don’t. Males have to exercise self control.

A ruined orgasm is another way of asserting control over the male

The most pleasurable element of male orgasm isn’t the orgasm itself, but the heightened sensitivity of the penis, particularly the glans, during orgasm.
 If all sensation is denied the moment the orgasm starts, the pleasure is reduced by a good 80%. A ruined orgasm also often leaves the male feeling slightly unsatisfied and eager for more reward, which is a better option for keeping him in the proper mindset.

9.03 chastity for couples

Enforced chastity 

The main point of enforced chastity is to transfer control of the caged male’s sexual pleasure from him to his keyholder. It is a power exchange. As keyholder you need to maintain his sexual desire throughout his waiting time. He has to be desperate for release in order for him to truly feel sexually controlled. To keep him that way, you will need to stimulate him on a regular basis without providing him the opportunity to orgasm or ejaculate.
An ultimate expression of your power is to replace his scheduled orgasm with a ruined one. This is very frustrating to the male and will imprint strongly that you, in fact, own his pleasure. Since ruined orgasms do reset his physical need for orgasm, if not his mental one, they should not be intentionally given before his scheduled release date.
Sex for you is independent of his pleasure. You should use him to give you orgasms whenever you desire them. If you want intercourse without him ejaculating, you will have to train him to hold back. This can be done through punishment for accidents and with training aids: multiple condoms and/or numbing cream.
Your male has asked you to control his ability to get sexual pleasure. It’s up to you to assert that control and have fun in the process!

Transfer of Sexual Control

The entire point of being caged is the transfer of sexual control to the keyholder. In many cases, the caged male ends up waiting for orgasms longer than he would if he could take things into his own hands.
Locked in a cock cage - masturbation is not an options.

Sex for the keyholder #1

As keyholder, all this male sex and teasing may make you horny. One of the best benefits of having a caged male is his interest in providing you with lots of orgasms. His wish to do this is driven by two powerful forces: 
One is his desire to convince you to get him off. In his mind, giving you an orgasm might put you in the mood to give him one. 
The other reason is more subtle; giving you orgasms is sex and even though he doesn’t get to come, he can still experience the pleasure of giving you orgasms.
Regardless of his state of waiting, feel free to have him provide you with sexual attention whenever you want. But, don’t let him push you into getting more attention than you desire. 
A lot of males will try to deal with their frustration by convincing their keyholders to orgasm frequently. Take sex from him when you want, not when he wants.

Sex for the keyholder #2

One tricky subject is intercourse. Up to now the only male stimulation we have talked about is using your hand to masturbate him. There is a good reason for this: Any other form of stimulation is very difficult to control and will likely result in an unplanned “accident” for him. So in the beginning, any non-orgasmic sex for him should probably be restricted to your hand.
Some keyholders train their males to hold back orgasms. They do this by having their males penetrate them and provide only the keyholder with an orgasm. This is tough for males to do. All of us have been conditioned to come when we are ready. If you want to train him not to come, you will have to add punishment to your chastity activities. 
He has to know that an “accident” will result in punishment. Many keyholders spank males immediately after they have an accident. This is no play spanking. A hairbrush or paddle is used to provide a very painful lesson each time he comes without permission. Since his accident removed his interest in sex for a while, the spanking will be pure punishment with no sexual overtones.

Sex for the keyholder #3

If you are inclined to do Intercourse training , you can help your male learn with some teaching aids. One good one is the use of condoms. A couple of condoms will reduce his sensitivity and make it easier for him to control himself. Another good one is desensitizing cream. These creams like Oragel contain Novocaine or other anesthetics that actually numb the penis and eliminate any pleasurable sensation from intercourse. 
If you do use a numbing product on him, wait at least ten minutes after applying it before you let him inside you.  It takes at least that long for the anesthetic to take full effect Also, put a condom on him or the cream left on his penis will put your vagina to sleep. 
There is nothing wrong with training aids to help him learn to use his penis for your pleasure, not his. By the way, if you numb him too much he will lose his erection and be unable to get one again until the anesthetic wears off.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

9.02 Chastity for couples

Obligation Ideas for  the Keyholder

  • The key will always be securely under the supervision of the keyholder.
  • The key-holder has the obligation to pay attention of the user’s health condition and arrange necessary suitable treatment, when any disorders are identified on the user’s body. 
  • The key-holder will remove the chastity belt at least once every 5 days to allow the user to be cleaned properly. This time will also be used to check that there are no health issues in regards to wearing it. Cleaning will involve users hands being fastened behind back, and hood applied with blindfold before device is removed.  
  • Hair may be removed to help keep the user clean
  • The key-holder will not allow the chastity period to exceed 3 months without break.
  • The key-holder will make the user aware of how long the expected chastity period is to be, when locking the chastity belt.
  • If the chastity period is increased it is the key-holder’s obligation to let the user know how long it has been increased by and why. 
  • It is up to the key-holder’s discretion how long each chastity period is to be. The key-holder may increase or stop any chastity period as he sees fit. 
  • The key-holder can humiliate the user at any time by mentioning that he is kept in chastity
  • The user must show device on request

Obligation Ideas for the Chaste male

The Chaste male could have the following obligations to submit all control and
ownership of penis / orgasm to the keyholder until end of chastity period. 
  • The Chaste Male will agree to an initial trail period of no less than 28 
  • days. 
  • The Chaste Male will allow the key-holder to put the chastity belt on him 
  • whenever she pleases.
  • The Chastity belt will particularly be used to prevent unauthorized 
  • masturbation during day or on business trips or attendance to KINK 
  • fetish parties.
  • The Chaste Male is prohibited to have any sexual intercourse without the
  • key-holder’s permission.
  • The Chaste Male is prohibited to masturbate without the key-holder's 
  • permission.
  • Making efforts to remove the chastity belt by The Chaste Male is 
  • forbidden and will occur punishment.
  • The Chaste Male will allow the key-holder to use any number of toys in 
  • his ass whenever she wants for as long as she wants, so as to tease 
  • his prostate into a state of total arousal. 
  • It is the responsibility of The Chaste Male to maintain the cleanliness 
  • of the chastity belt.
  • The Chaste Male is never permitted to leave the key-holder’s control 
  • without the key-holder’s special permission.
  • The Chaste Male will accept that having his prostate milked is sufficient 
  • sexual relief for him during any chastity period. Having his 
  • prostate milked is at the key-holder’s discretion. 
  • The Chaste Male may not ask the key-holder for the chastity belt to be 
  • removed. Except for health or safety reasons.
  • The Chaste Male will allow the key-holder to masturbate him or have sex 
  • with him whenever she wants. He will not have an orgasm without her 
  • permission however. If he does, he will be subject to whatever 
  • punishment the key-holder sees fit. This punishment may override the 
  • key-holder’s obligation to keeping chastity periods less then 3 
  • months.
  • It is The Chaste Males’s obligation to let the key-holder know if he has 
  • had sexual relief without his knowledge. For instance through 
  • nocturnal relief or a self provided prostate milking. 
  • The Chaste Male will be required to sexually satisfy the key holder 
  • without user orgasm, this will include fucking duties, fellatio, 
  • foot worship, rimming, providing urinal or other toilet duties for 
  • key holder, massages etc.
  • The Chaste Male will be grateful and thank the key holder for keeping him
  • in chastity.
  • Chastity Agreement

    This Chastity agreement describes the duties of the Male. The Male is to be locked in a chastity device. The Keyholder is to control the keys to that device and, therefore, the sexual behaviour of the Male.
    • The Male will remain in the chastity device at all times. He will keep it clean and only remove it for inspection with the supervision of the Keyholder. He will never attempt to defeat the purpose of the device.
    • The Keyholder will keep the keys to the device in a secure place away from the Male. 
    • The Keyholder will unlock the device only at her/his discretion.
    • The Male agrees to have no rights in determining the length of confinement even if the term is permanent.
    • The Male agrees to accept behaviour modification to eliminate erectile function.
    • The Male agrees to use prosthetic devices, in lieu of his penis, to satisfy his mate.
    • The Male agrees to allow others to use prosthetic devices on him.
    • The Male agrees to whatever use the Keyholder requires, including servicing others, female and male.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

9.01 on chastity for couples

Think About the Chastity Benefits

To be of benefit you must be honest with yourself and remove fantasy from practicality, think carefully about each question and allow yourself time to fully answer each question.
1. What does chastity mean to me?
2. Why do I want to be locked in?
3. What would my maximum lock in period be?
4. Do I want to be completely dominated, subservient to my keyholder?
5. Am I by nature submissive?
6. Is my wife dominant by nature, if not does this matter anyway if she is open to the idea and is generally a little adventurous in bed?
7. Do I want to use chastity as an extension of our sexual repertoire for fun, love and fidelity? Or do I want it to become a way of life, with me being permanently in chastity.
8. How can I prevent my Chastity fantasies from taking over my life rather than being a part of it? Are my fantasies realistic?
9. Will I be imposing my Chastity desires on my wife, and in so doing controlling her, rather than my wife controlling me?
10. In what situations do I most want to be locked up? Are there occasions when I really won’t want to be locked up?
11. How do I want my keyholder to control me? (consider these words - loving, confident, playful, strict, harsh, dominate, authoritative, assertive, caring.)
12. Would we need a written chastity contract? Why?
13. What arrangements should be made so that I am able to remove the device when it’s absolutely essential for health reasons?
14. What style of chastity device would I like most and why?
15. Will this design appeal to my wife. Am I willing to take my wife’s opinion into account with respect to my choice of belt/device?

Monday, August 31, 2015

8.31 on chastity for couples

Chastity - Some of Her Concerns

If your wife is not dominant by nature she may be worried that you want her to become something which she feels incapable of being. She may agree to your chastity desires just to please you. Is she submissively agreeing to your domineering need for submissiveness? She may begin to wonder why you want her to change, and to question whether you love her as she is? She may start to question your whole relationship .
Some women will be concerned that your fetish means you will not be the man she married. Perhaps one of the reasons she loves you is because of your manliness and because you have always made the first move sexually. She may be worried that you will change in to some indecisive slave, when who she married was someone with his own mind and an animal in bed. You need to carefully explain that she will be controlling your desires without diminishing your qualities as a man. There is no reason why a man locked in chastity can’t initiate sexual playtime. Part of your wife’s version of dominating you may be to insist that you make the first move to orally serve her, to give to her as many orgasms as she would like, and then to gently massage her shoulders as she falls asleep, while you have been denied your own orgasm.
The main thing is that you both progress from turning fantasies into reality at a pace which is comfortable for you both. This initially will need to be judged by you. So be careful and don’t push the idea too fast, unless of course she wants to! You cannot teach her to be dominant, you need to allow her to find her own style, and if it is not as strict and as domineering as you would like, then you must adjust your own expectations, and to accept what she wants of her role. A submissive male in chastity should gladly accept his keyholder’s methods and techniques, his goal in life is to please her.
I know if she’s open to the idea of keyholding, her mind will be planning little ways to tease and excite you, just thinking of how to excite and deny a man is as equally arousing for the woman as wearing the device is for the man.
In addition to delighting in the sexual pleasures she will receive from your newly improved attentiveness, she will begin to appreciate the extra tasks you will perform around the house. She will soon realise that within almost every woman is the potential is become the loving dominant partner of the relationship.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

8.30 on chastity and orgasm control

Reducing the frequency of orgasms

Reducing the frequency of orgasms by the male will have a substantial effect on his sexual ardor and the focus of that sexual ardor, which will be his wife/significant. This means the male should avoid masturbation. 
In the beginning, the male should go without orgasm for at least several days at a time, extending over time to 1 to 4 weeks, depending upon a number of other variables. There is powerful biochemistry at work when orgasm frequency is reduced. There is a steady build-up in Dopamine (the desire and pleasure neurotransmitter) and Oxytocin (the bonding or devotion neurotransmitter). Orgasm releases a flood of dopamine which is immediately disposed of by a release of Prolactin leaving the male in a depressed Dopamine condition for a week or more.

What is the ideal time between orgasms for the male? 

That it is personal choice for the two individuals involved in the relationship. It’s a trade-off between the desire by the man to experience the intense pleasure of orgasm (greatly amplified by the infrequency from higher receptor concentration) while minimizing the period of low dopamine loss of feelings of well-being. 
For the female, the trade-off is a complex mix of what she believes is best for her mate whom she loves, what is best for their relationship, and frankly what is best for her. Realistically, every time her mate orgasms, she can expect one to two weeks of a low dopamine, low oxytocin mate with the attendant loss of attention and devotion that she enjoys the rest of the time and probably a more irritable, cranky mate as well.

Moods and feelings that are associated dopamine, prolactin, and oxytocin 

Dopamine:
Normal/Somewhat Elevated: Motivated, Feelings of well-being, pleasure in accomplishing tasks, healthy libido, optimistic about life, good feelings towards others, a desire to bond with others, sound choices.
Low Level: depression, Anhedonia (no pleasure, the world looks colorless), lack of ambition and drive, inability to feel love, low libido, no remorse about personal behavior, social anxiety, impaired judgment.
Prolactin
The symptoms associated with excess levels of prolactin are:
lethargy, loss of libido, depression, irritability, infertility, decreased testosterone levels, weight gain, little interest in bonding with others, pessimistic about life.
Oxytocin:
Normal/Elevated: strong feelings of attachment, devotion and connection; increased sexual receptivity, positive feelings, health benefits (lowers blood pressure, faster wound healing) fewer cravings and addictions, feelings of protection and responsibility.
Low Levels: little or no feelings of attachment, devotion or connection, little or no feelings of protection and responsibility for another, low libido, depression and weakened immune system.

The three most important “factors” in Chastity

Dopamine - the neurotransmitter that causes the feeling of pleasure we receive from engaging in certain activities. Sexual arousal, the eating of calorie rich foods, and for some, certain other behaviors like gambling or shopping, and the ingestion of certain drugs like cocaine, amphetamines and heroin all raise the level of dopamine in our reward center. 
This rising level is experienced as pleasure and the higher the level, the more intense the pleasure provided there are sufficient receptors to accommodate the rising level. The intense pleasure of orgasm that we experience results from the sudden flood of dopamine that is released in the reward center of our brain.
Prolactin - the neurotransmitter of satiation; it applies the brakes, so to speak, on the level and duration of dopamine and oxytocin ( it affects oxytocin indirectly by its effect on dopamine). Prolactin levels generally remain stable in the reward center of the brain except during orgasm when they are substantially increased to deal with (i.e counteract or reduce the level of) the sudden flood of dopamine and oxytocin. The elevated levels of prolactin after orgasm persist for a minimum of one week and as long as two weeks
Oxytocin - often called the “cuddle hormone,” when the level is elevated, it produces the pleasurable feeling of bonding or “connectedness,” as well as feelings of closeness, devotion and protection. It is the primary factor in establishing the basis for pair bonding. A burst of oxytocin is produced during orgasm and is responsible for the post orgasm afterglow of love and connectedness we feel. 
After orgasm, in men, the level or oxytocin quickly drops - in less than an hour it is well below the level it was at before sexual arousal began. In women, the post orgasmic level of oxytocin decreases more slowly reaching normal levels in several hours and remaining there. In addition to orgasm, the other mechanism for raising the level of oxytocin is touching and caressing, not necessarily in a sexual manner; even the simple act of holding hands will raise oxytocin levels.
 Even when the level of oxytocin is reduced to normal levels, although the powerful bonding feeling is lost, the memory of that feeling remains. It is that memory that provides the basis for long term relationships to survive the dopamine/prolactin roller coaster.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

8.29 on Chastity, ruined orgasms

The Art of The Ruined Orgasm #1

The advantage of the ruined orgasm is that it is one more tool to add to your bag of tricks for teasing and orgasm control.  You can tell your man that he is allowed to orgasm and then at the moment he is about to orgasm or as soon as it starts you release his cock.  
Incorporating this into your T&D keeps your man guessing about what to expect.  Not only will it be a mystery of when he can orgasm but now he won’t even know if it will be a full orgasm or ruined orgasm.  Ruining his orgasm also prolongs his denial period. He gets some release but not a full orgasm.  Therefore you can prolong the time frame of when he is allowed a full orgasm by slipping in a few ruined orgasms.
One final benefit is that it can be used as a punishment.  If your man has been naughty or simply not meeting your expectations, you can announce that the next orgasm (or next 2, 3, etc.) will be ruined.


The Art of The Ruined Orgasm #2

The most basic approach is to stroke his cock and then at the moment he first spurts you release his cock and let it twitch and spurt on its own.  He will experience very brief pleasure at the first spurt but then once you release and there is no friction the orgasm becomes ruined and he is left frustrated.  This is a good way to introduce him to the ruined orgasm.  
Another technique is to release his cock before he starts to cum.  This may take some practice because you have to anticipate when the orgasm is coming.  If you spend a considerable amount of time teasing your guy or if he has been denied an orgasm for a long period of time, this becomes easier to do.   

The Art of The Ruined Orgasm #3

Some variations to experiment:
  • Announce the ruined orgasm ahead of time or surprise him
  • Tell him to try and orgasm while you tease him or tell him try not to orgasm while you tease him.  Imagine the fun of him trying to orgasm only to have you pull away at the last second and leave him with nothing.  Do this a few times and then send him over the edge and let go.
  • Use your hands, mouth, tongue, panties, feathers, etc. to tease him. One of the most interesting videos I watched was a woman that held her man’s cock straight up and she very slowly licked from bottom  to top until he spurted.
  • Make him ruin the orgasm himself.  This is a good test of his loyalty. Will he let go before he spurts (bonus points for him), at the first spurt (good boy), or will he push the envelope and hold on a little longer after he spurts (bad boy.  Punishment time!).
  • Combine with anal pleasure.  Stimulating the prostate will cause his cum to leak-out more.  Some women use this technique regularly to “milk” their man so that he can go very long periods without a orgasm.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

8.27 on chastity and devices

Doris Miller: Penis Padlocks

Carbon County natives Doris and Frank Miller (top picture) run a booming business manufacturing the CB-6000 line of male-chastity devices. These high-tech, clear-plastic penis padlocks assure the keyholder that the wearer’s genitalia remain safely under wraps during unsupervised periods. A.L. Enterprises, Inc. recently moved from Price to Las Vegas’ freer business climate, but its patent notices still liven up the business pages of Utah dailies. City Weekly asked Doris about the male-chastity biz.
How did you decide to enter the male-chastity business? 
Too often in his business travels, my husband, Frank, saw men take off their wedding rings and mentally become single again while away from home. This could have been prevented if they were wearing a chastity device and their significant other had the key. Frank came up with the idea of male chastity about 14 years ago while we were living in Las Vegas. Of course, I thought he had lost his mind, but after watching him work on prototypes for three to six months, I realized he had a fantastic idea. I suggested that we quit our jobs, take the month of February off and make his design “fly or die”—and flew it did!
Who’s your main customer base—jealous wives?
Our revolutionary line of products is marketable to the fetish enthusiast, as well as couples looking to increase their intimacy and sense of adventure. The target customer is diverse. The product appeals to men and women alike. The misconception is that the male-chastity device is only purchased to correct a wayward husband. In reality, the majority of customers purchasing a male-chastity device fall into two main groups: either fetish devotees, or couples interested in expanding their sexual experiences with “chastity play.” Chastity play can bring the spark and excitement back into an otherwise stagnant relationship. Customers who use our products in cases of infidelity find chastity play helps bring trust back into the relationship. Our products have been used in the medical field and are currently being tested to treat men with erectile dysfunction.
Why did you move your company back to Las Vegas?
For several reasons: The Price City Council agreed to give us a business license after we agreed to keep our blinds closed and not to retail sell out of our building. We want to expand our line in the future and don’t want to have to address any issues with licensing. Also, Las Vegas is more centrally located for trade shows, customs, advertising and, overall, no unnecessary restrictions.
Why are your products made of clear plastic?
Frank designed it out of polycarbonate so the traveling man could wear it and still be able to get through airport security without detection.
How can the keyholder be sure the wearer hasn’t tampered with the lock?
The numbered plastic locks can easily be cut and removed. If the wearer does this, he had better have a believable answer for his keyholder why it was necessary to do so. Where there is honor, there is chastity!

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

8.26 on chastity ... for couples

Chastity has to be a 24/7 part of your relationship

24/7 is the foundation; it is what changes men for the positive because they shouldn’t have the opportunity to control their sexual release. This is one of the areas that the goddess, lady, mistress, keyholder or whatever you prefer to be known as must have absolute control of. 
Although the woman remains in control it is very important to remember that you and he are still a couple in a relationship, he is still your husband and that shouldn’t be forgotten, your relationship only changes once you close the bedroom door. 
Life goes on as it always has, employment, financial, family issues and decisions are all still there. Your dominance should not interfere in other areas though you will find he will react differently, often positively, as his feelings and emotions change.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

8.25 On chastity ... and Masturbation

Chastity and Masturbation

All men, given the ability, masturbate and way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for him to control and even more difficult to part with. Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn’t seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women. 
However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. It is not the goal for him to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen, not routinely but it will happen because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases he will divert that energy towards pleasing you. 
Your being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings, he will adore you, love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you’re happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.


Monday, August 24, 2015

8.24 On chastity and ruined orgasms

Completely ruining the orgasm

  • Let go as soon as orgasm starts
  • Let go earlier than above after edging lots to get a tiny dribble each time
  • Let go then block with thumb/palm
  • Edge until its not fun then really early ruining
  • Pegs on balls for 10 minutes while edging (at least 3 pegs) ruin it normally but take all pegs off fast as soon as i let go
  • An hour or more of porn with massive frustration, then very slow ruined orgasm(s) usiing one finger on the back of the head or slow rubbing on head. no other stimulation.
  • An hour or more of porn followed by 3-5 *extremely* fast ruined orgasms until dry
  • post orgasm torture? Or 3-5 ruined orgasms with post orgasm torture but no orgasm
  • Lots of porn followed by dry towelling torture until super sensitive then dry orgasm with foreskin held back. towelling every 2 minutes to dry and torture. Possibly ruined too.
  • Ruined orgasm by any method with tin foil scrunched over head during dribbles.
  • Use numb cream on the penis head 10 minutes before touching him
Can anyone else think of some particularly nasty, evil and frustrating ways to “cum” minimizing the enjoyment as much as possible. It should leave him disappointed, frustrated, possibly horny and desperate afterwards.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

8.22 On chastity--for couples

TAKEN FROM "MYCHASTEHUBBY.BLOGSPOT"


I hear what she is saying, I don't like the way she says it.

She makes it sound like her RIGHT to keep him locked up.
I don't get that.
But if it works for him, then fine for them.

What My Husband Has Gained by Giving Up His Right to Orgasm

To some, the thought of a man giving up his orgasms is fantasy at best or manipulation of the worst kind. But the truth is it is neither. My hubby and I started this journey simply in an effort to curb his nasty masturbation habit and to see if it could improve our intimacy. Though there have been bumps in the road, we have worked through those, we worked together and found that the journey has been it's own reward.

Through the years I found I had less and less in common with Ken. I knew there was a better man, a better husband inside of him but throughout our marriage I saw only glimpses of it. By starting male chastity it gave us something to work together on, something to talk about. The kids had grown and I was left with a man that I love dearly but had so little to talk with him about. We won't even mention the lack of passion. When I discovered that for our entire marriage he had been spilling his passion through masturbation we set out to remedy that.  Several years into that journey what does it look like? This weekend is the perfect snapshot of that.

Friday ended a more stressful than usual week for the both of us. Friday evening I surprised Ken by taking him to his favorite steak house for dinner. We talked, laughed, and ate.
Throughout the evening I flirted with him shamelessly, looked into his eyes as he talked, giggled, touched, and hinted at more fun later. When our waitress asked if we were having desert I told her I wanted some of their caramel bread pudding but that Ken would have dessert at home. He knew what that meant.
When he arrived home he quickly set about preparing the setting and when the music was on, and the candles were lit, I layed myself down and served my husband dessert. With Ken having given up on his right to an orgasm, he hasn't had one since some time in February, it freed me to be me. I could flirt with him, I could giggle, I could tease, I could play, I could smile. All because that is what I wanted to do and I didn't worry about any obligation on my part. In the past, all of those things signaled to Ken that he would be having an orgasm in the near future and it would be my responsibility to see to it that he did. The unintended consequence of those actions that if I wasn't in the mood, wasn't willing to risk the hurt that comes with failure or rejection, changed my mind and didn't follow through, I just wouldn't do any of it. Now there is no pretense, no inner struggle for me, no obligation. Ken doesn't want an orgasm because his having given them up brought out in me the wife, and lover, he always wanted. I am fun, flirty, laugh more, talk more, listen better.

I can now initiate intimacy anytime I want because I have no responsibility, no burden. I can flirt without having to follow through, I can tease, I can play, I can even poe fun at "his predicament" I can receive without reciprocating, I can enjoy receiving without the burden of needing to then perform. And my husband loves me for it. Almost as if this is the way it was supposed to be all along, because it is. When we are intimate, there are no doubts about our roles, our expectations etc. We both know that my pleasure is our singular goal and work together towards that. He gives, I receive. For my fellow believers, the scripture says it is MORE blessed to give than receive. My husband has been blessed to receive the wife of his dreams. Those are his words not mine.


 I know when he kisses me it is for me. When he touches me it is because he wants to, when he carresses me it is because he likes how it feels. This isn't the means to an end. He isn't doing this to get an orgasm out of it because I likely will not let him have one and he knows that. He is doing it to pleasure me. I can't begin to tell you what that menas to me or how it has improved my sense of well being. I asm more confident, feel more open with people, more alive.

Friday night we went to sleep with my scent on his face and my taste in his mouth.
Saturday morning I woke to find him spooning me from behind and periodically I could feel his male organ twitch or bounce against my rump as it fought with the cage that held it back. This was literally mere hours after pleasuring me and he was still pursuing, still wanting me. I like that  . . a lot!

Since my sexual appetite was already satiated I intended to put his passions to good use.

I snuggled into him and put my neck and ears to within kissing range. He took the bait and I let him stoke his fires for a few minutes. As he kissed I reached for my phone and texted a friend and asked her if she would like to do some shopping today. I told her I was free for most of the day. Ken saw what I texted and knew that meant he would doing chores while I shopped and did lunch.


I can't tell you why he likes it when I give him a list of chores to do and go shopping. It actually used to bother me that this turned him on as if I wasn't enough. I am so over that. That is just the way God made him. Most of the chores are my chores that I hadn't finished during the week. Ken will feign sometimes that he doesn't think it is fair but I know it is just part of the game for him. Several minutes later as he kissed my neck my friend responded via text that she could be ready in an hour. I showed him the text over my shoulder and felt another twitch in my rump telling me he liked the idea.

Manuipulation? I have manipulated my man into being a great husband, and he has manipulated me into to being a great wife.

If you are a wife who is reading this and desire what I have in your marriage I suggest you ask your husband. "Can you tell me why your not wearing this cage for me?"

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

On chastity - for couples


One of the best things about living a female in charge lifestyle is that it is a decision driven way of life. Rather than simply reacting to the random everyday events, allowing chance to be the architect of your future, putting her in charge of his sexual fulfillment through enforced male chastity gives her power. And starts change toward a proactive decision maker and planner.
The fact that she is decision making for her male about something that is so important and intimate to him, causes her to consider her own goals, needs, and desires. This assures, to the greatest extent possible that her life ends up becoming exactly what she desires. Contrast this with the lives of average girls as they only react to events, and their satisfaction and ultimate outcome is left to random chance, leading to frequent frustration and disappointment.
Active decision making is often avoided because people think that it is easier to just let events take their course. This is undoubtedly incorrect, and it is always easier to achieve ones aspirations if decisions are made proactively across all facets of life.
Due to the very direct level of control and intimate power that is thrust upon her, enforced chastity of the male is the best, and I might add, the easiest way for a female to improve the practice of having her goals and aspirations met on both a long term and a short term basis.
Once she makes an active decision about how often and n what ways her male will be allowed to orgasm, and if she takes a few moments each day to enforce her decision, she will find that her life will become immeasurably easier as his focus naturally moves away from his own gratification and towards hers. Thus, enforcing control over the male orgasm is not added work, rather a very effective method of reducing the female’s workload, and molding the males behavior to better match her desires.
Females should think: How do I feel about the male orgasm itself? Do I enjoy watching it? Is it disgusting to me? Offensive to me? Do I just not care one way or the other? The answer will help to serve as a guide to proper decision making.
Using the above answer as a guide, and whatever desire she has for her own sexual use of her males cock, she can then easily decide how often he should be permitted orgasm. Weekly, monthly, quarterly, only on special occasions, yearly? The possibilities are indeed endless. Other frequencies used fairly often by female supremacists include: only on days she intends to permit intercourse so that the male can perform properly, or indeed, as many females have decided, on occasions as supervised teasing or masturbation as an infrequent but powerful reward.
Done properly, there is no risk to the male if he leads his life under severe orgasm control including living out the rest of his life without another orgasm. Prostrate massage could be an alternative to keeping a male undergoing long term orgasm denial healthy. Resources about prostate massage how’s and whys abound on the internet.
Strict and ongoing control of the male orgasm is so important to the female supremacist because of the profound effects it has on male behavior. These positive effects are the result of his instincts for reproduction.
All males who are not under strict orgasm control are completely sexually satisfied at all times. This is because all males use masturbation every time relief of their biological drive is needed. To believe anything different about male masturbation is to be dishonest with oneself.
A sexually satisfied male is, due to his instincts, a male who is no longer motivated to completely please the female in his life. His instincts cause this lack of interest in pleasing her because his drive to reproduce has been temporarily met. Without the instinctual drive for reproduction pushing him forward, the male cannot be properly focused on her needs, wants, and desires. Rather the male will always place his own needs and wants first.
This is not learned behavior, and this is not somehow the males fault. Neither is it something which he can change. It is simply how the male gender functions as a result of the instincts it possesses.
Contrast this with a male who lives under strictly enforced orgasm denial. The denied male, when not in a sexually satisfied state will have his entire focus on fulfilling the needs, wants, and desires of the female in his life. All of the males otherwise wasted energy will be directly focused on her pleasure, not only her sexual satisfaction, but in all areas of her personal, family and professional fulfillment and life.
Again, this is not something that the male has learned, or that he can change, it is simply male instinctual response.
His instincts force his energies towards satisfaction of his need to reproduce, this naturally translates into behaviors in which he does everything possible to earn the affection of the female who controls his ability to orgasm.
When the female muzzles her male with an effective chastity device, and exercises an effective release schedule, she will have a male uniquely devoted to her happiness. When she does not do these things, his instincts force his behavior to fall far short of the ideal.
An interesting side benefit of enforced male chastity is that the male who is sexually unsatisfied will have more energy than he would if he were sexually satisfied. This is a biological response in the male that can be quite profound, and extremely positive.
In most males this extra energy is manifested as creative energy, in others as physical energy. Either way, it can be of great benefit to the female supremacist as she uses it for her increased pleasure.
Behavior modification is another tremendous benefit brought about by the males lack of sexual satisfaction. As females we need to admit to ourselves that we all have a desire to change our male. We want him to more often exhibit behaviors which please us, and less frequently exhibit behaviors that are displeasing to us.
Females are taught by society that it is not right to want to change the male, and that even if it were ethical, it can’t be done anyway. The conclusion we are to draw is that if we try to change our male our efforts will fail and we will be deeply disappointed.
This is a lie, a lie of course foisted upon females by our prevailing patriarchal society. A lie which should not be allowed to stand as we females create our future gynarchy.
Male behavior will change and improve dramatically when the female supremacist removes her males sexual satisfaction. His instincts will drive him to exhibiting pleasing behavior towards her, and will make it much more difficult for him to exhibit behaviors which she does not approve of. As females, control of the male orgasm is our best opportunity to improve our males behavior patterns and mold him more closely into the “man of our dreams.”
Through enforced chastity we can change the male with relative ease, and we should do so.
When discussing enforced male orgasm control it must be remembered that there is a significant time delay as the male moves from a state of sexual satisfaction to a state of sexual dissatisfaction. It is not instantaneous or even quick, and a control only exercised for a few hours or a few days will not yield the desired effects.
A good rule of thumb is that it takes about a week in the average male. If he is allowed orgasm on Sunday for example, and is denied orgasm until the next Sunday, he will be getting his orgasm at about the same time as he was finally becoming sexually unsatisfied and his instincts were beginning to align his focus on the females needs and wants.
Thus a male who is granted one orgasm per week will never be able to give the female his proper focus. She will not receive the benefits of enforced chastity because she is not allowing enough time for him to become sexually unsatisfied.
A helpful way for females to consider this is by thinking about it as a vacation. Every time the male achieves orgasm his focus will move away from her for about one week. During this time he will be “on vacation” as he will not be serving the female to the best of his ability.
With that in mind, when thinking about how often her male should be allowed orgasm, the female should consider how many weeks per year she wants his focus to be away from her, and how many weeks of “vacation” he should be granted.
One male orgasm per week translates to 52 weeks of “vacation” per year.
One male orgasm every other week translates to 26 weeks of “vacation” per year.
One male orgasm per month translates to 12 weeks of “vacation” per year.
One male orgasm per quarter translates to 4 weeks of “vacation” per year.
One male orgasm every six months translates to 2 weeks of “vacation” per year.
One male orgasm per year translates to 1 week of “vacation” per year.
Completely doing away with the male orgasm through permanent enforced chastity will result in the male always being focused on the fulfillment of the her wants, needs, and desires. But of course, the goal is obedience and appropriate behavior, not all loss of hope.
As females in power we should ask ourselves, how many weeks of vacation does the average employee receive per year? How many weeks per year should we be willing to tolerate our males focus being on his desires, rather than our own? When we consider these questions, the best answers for ourselves, and our relationships will come.
Once it is decided through an active and thoughtful decision making process how often the male will be permitted orgasm, the male should simply be informed of the decision, and expected to obey without complaint.
The female must of course hold true to her decision and not allow temporary weakness or pity to soften her resolve. If she does not enforce her decision, all of her efforts will be for naught.
As mentioned, the male should not be allowed to complain, or even to request an orgasm. Complaints and whining are poor behavior that should be punished. A request for orgasm is nothing more than whining for attention. Knowing that, the female must use care in her choice of punishment. 
In some instances, it is appropriate to use physical corporal punishment, such as an intentional spanking or whipping. Application of some sort of chemical to his balls or penis can also be a non-dangerous but memorably painful reminder. This is particularly effective when he is tricked; in the words tie him down, tell him he is going to get an orgasm, and instead he has to suffer. Whatever discretion or behavior needs to be altered will not be repeated for a long while.  
A time out option is also sometimes appropriate. If the male complains, whines, or begs to annoyance, place him somewhere out of the way for a few hours:  In a closet with the door closed, in a spare room tied to the bed overnight or the garage or basement.  Of course keep in mind the issue of safety to his wrists and ankles and body. Almost assuredly he will need to be gagged while locked away.
One other punishment option is to make him endure something disgusting such as handcuffing him in the shower and pissing onto his face. 
Whatever she chooses, it should make her feel more powerful. It should make her feel like she is having fun or getting revenge at his expense. The female in charge should never feel that denying her male the act of orgasm for long periods of time is overly cruel. In fact, rather than cruelty, long term orgasm denial is a gift she provides her male. This is because for the male in a relationship based upon her power, being granted an orgasm is not expected but an occasional reward and act of sympathetic mercy.
His instincts drive him to an extremely powerful desire for orgasm, but deep down, in the core of his being, he does not truly desire sexual release.
From a practical standpoint, after orgasm it is much harder for the male to serve the female, and he finds much less fulfillment and joy in his service to her. Intellectually, he knows this, which is why more intelligent and successful men seek out a female who is willing to be dominant and controlling.
From a less practical standpoint, when the male achieves orgasm it is accompanied by a release of sexual tension. As being in a state of sexual tension is so blissful, the male orgasm is always to one extent or another a disappointment.
As female supremacists working to improve our lives, and constantly expecting more control and power, we need to use our intellect to decide how to best regulate the orgasm in our males. Males can’t do this themselves because their baser instincts cause them to abandon their own intellect in favor of following their “idiot stick.” Strict control of the male orgasm will greatly improve the life of the female who is willing to exercise that control, it will also however serve to improve her males life as she uses her intellect to overrule his “idiot stick”…