8.22 On chastity--for couples

TAKEN FROM "MYCHASTEHUBBY.BLOGSPOT"

I hear what she is saying, I don't like the way she says it.

She makes it sound like her RIGHT to keep him locked up.

I don't get that.

But if it works for him, then fine for them.

What My Husband Has Gained by Giving Up His Right to Orgasm

To some, the thought of a man giving up his orgasms is fantasy at best or manipulation of the worst kind. But the truth is it is neither. My hubby and I started this journey simply in an effort to curb his nasty masturbation habit and to see if it could improve our intimacy. Though there have been bumps in the road, we have worked through those, we worked together and found that the journey has been it's own reward.

Through the years I found I had less and less in common with Ken. I knew there was a better man, a better husband inside of him but throughout our marriage I saw only glimpses of it. By starting male chastity it gave us something to work together on, something to talk about. The kids had grown and I was left with a man that I love dearly but had so little to talk with him about. We won't even mention the lack of passion. When I discovered that for our entire marriage he had been spilling his passion through masturbation we set out to remedy that.  Several years into that journey what does it look like? This weekend is the perfect snapshot of that.

Friday ended a more stressful than usual week for the both of us. Friday evening I surprised Ken by taking him to his favorite steak house for dinner. We talked, laughed, and ate.
Throughout the evening I flirted with him shamelessly, looked into his eyes as he talked, giggled, touched, and hinted at more fun later. When our waitress asked if we were having desert I told her I wanted some of their caramel bread pudding but that Ken would have dessert at home. He knew what that meant.

When he arrived home he quickly set about preparing the setting and when the music was on, and the candles were lit, I layed myself down and served my husband dessert. With Ken having given up on his right to an orgasm, he hasn't had one since some time in February, it freed me to be me. I could flirt with him, I could giggle, I could tease, I could play, I could smile. All because that is what I wanted to do and I didn't worry about any obligation on my part. In the past, all of those things signaled to Ken that he would be having an orgasm in the near future and it would be my responsibility to see to it that he did. The unintended consequence of those actions that if I wasn't in the mood, wasn't willing to risk the hurt that comes with failure or rejection, changed my mind and didn't follow through, I just wouldn't do any of it. Now there is no pretense, no inner struggle for me, no obligation. Ken doesn't want an orgasm because his having given them up brought out in me the wife, and lover, he always wanted. I am fun, flirty, laugh more, talk more, listen better.

I can now initiate intimacy anytime I want because I have no responsibility, no burden. I can flirt without having to follow through, I can tease, I can play, I can even poe fun at "his predicament" I can receive without reciprocating, I can enjoy receiving without the burden of needing to then perform. And my husband loves me for it. Almost as if this is the way it was supposed to be all along, because it is. When we are intimate, there are no doubts about our roles, our expectations etc. We both know that my pleasure is our singular goal and work together towards that. He gives, I receive. For my fellow believers, the scripture says it is MORE blessed to give than receive. My husband has been blessed to receive the wife of his dreams. Those are his words not mine.

 I know when he kisses me it is for me. When he touches me it is because he wants to, when he carresses me it is because he likes how it feels. This isn't the means to an end. He isn't doing this to get an orgasm out of it because I likely will not let him have one and he knows that. He is doing it to pleasure me. I can't begin to tell you what that menas to me or how it has improved my sense of well being. I asm more confident, feel more open with people, more alive.

Friday night we went to sleep with my scent on his face and my taste in his mouth.
Saturday morning I woke to find him spooning me from behind and periodically I could feel his male organ twitch or bounce against my rump as it fought with the cage that held it back. This was literally mere hours after pleasuring me and he was still pursuing, still wanting me. I like that  . . a lot!

Since my sexual appetite was already satiated I intended to put his passions to good use.

I snuggled into him and put my neck and ears to within kissing range. He took the bait and I let him stoke his fires for a few minutes. As he kissed I reached for my phone and texted a friend and asked her if she would like to do some shopping today. I told her I was free for most of the day. Ken saw what I texted and knew that meant he would doing chores while I shopped and did lunch.

I can't tell you why he likes it when I give him a list of chores to do and go shopping. It actually used to bother me that this turned him on as if I wasn't enough. I am so over that. That is just the way God made him. Most of the chores are my chores that I hadn't finished during the week. Ken will feign sometimes that he doesn't think it is fair but I know it is just part of the game for him. Several minutes later as he kissed my neck my friend responded via text that she could be ready in an hour. I showed him the text over my shoulder and felt another twitch in my rump telling me he liked the idea.

Manuipulation? I have manipulated my man into being a great husband, and he has manipulated me into to being a great wife.

If you are a wife who is reading this and desire what I have in your marriage I suggest you ask your husband. "Can you tell me why your not wearing this cage for me?"