30 December, Wednesday, Diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 66

09:30 woke up with morning wood, a piss hard-on. It has been a LONG time!

1045 Merry asked me to drive Stitch to work, myself to PT, then home.  

Up, pee, shower, b/t, shv, dry, dress 

159

pills, 20uB, coffee

Turned on tv to whatever college football game is on...

At desk computer, diary entries, 12/25 to NOW  

Sunshine up, 1255

Me, out with S to work, 1330, drop S, race to Phys Therapy, rushed in to get key to bathroom ... in time for a very satisfying poop

PT, 2 - 230.

Gas at Arco, almost across the street (San Antonio). I still don't know how to reset the 'trip' milage to zero.

1455 home

Merry was getting ready, while I was compiling a list of 'punishments' as found in my diary.

Me driving, out 1545... arrived her dentist 1601.

She was shown in 1605.

and came out 1650, minus her two lower front teeth.

Made an appointment to begin appliance fitting, Jan 11, and appt for me, checkup or cleaning, Jan 22 and paid $300 of  a total bill of $455

and out

TO Walmart, as she just got script for antibiotic...

Add to that a bottle of Naproxen, and ONE whipped yogurt...and for Eve, two kinds of ice cream, and Scrubbing Bubbles..

She went up front to pay, and said (I'm guessing, she was REALLY hard to understand with gauze where her teeth were...)"I'll pay for this and meet you at the car"

By the time ... 4 minutes... I got back to the pharmacy, the tech was waving..."It's ready!"

Great. I paid for the Amoxi and Naproxen there, and went to the front self check out, and caught up with Merry at a register as she was finishing.

Where, as she turned, she caught the metallic latch on her metal purse on something, so it opened, and the contents of her purse went ... all over the floor.

After PT, I could not bend over if Benjamin was down there, looking up at me, so it was on her to pick it all up, get it back in the purse...and off we went.

Next Stop, Ev's... she called Ev to come down to front door and meet her; Ev did, and Merry handed off what we bought, plus one of the packs of beer we keep in the trunk of the car.

And home, 6:15

Shoes off, fed Cat, made coffee, sat down...

and started game, OU vs Florida, which I had on recording since it started at 5 pm.

I really tried to not get any prior knowledge of what was happening in game...but feeds from CBS sports continued to show up on my phone...  17 - 13, later 41-13..etc.

Ah well.   Final OU 55, FL 20.

During game, I casually mentioned to Merry, playing SpankShiloDuring FootballGame, but she was so completely "meh" that I have chosen to purge the idea from my head. 

To be fair, not always my go-to thing to do, she just had extractions, the numbing agent they used was worn off, so she was feeling it, and did not want to commit to feeling up to such an exertion anytime real soon.  

But I'm not a fan of being fair, so I choose to take umbrage, and pretend like I did not suggest it.

Merry made dinner for herself of some kind of pasta and Donna was demonstrative in her desire to take part, so ... I fed Donna with pill...

*Chase 1.1

Merry Sunshine to bed 22:30

Me, out for Stitch 2250 ...

In the car, he announced to me that he had been 'hired', moving from temporary worker to permanent, and got a 50c/hour raise, but I think that's just in lot with this state's minimum wage laws. I'll research when I care enough about it. 

Other benefits for Stitch? Dunno. He said he would look into it.

home 2330.

Turned on News.

Couldn't find my shoulder bag (phone, wallet, etc). Did I leave it in, or worse, on ... the car?

Put on my shoes, went downstairs... nope, not on or in car. 

Back upstairs, looked at where I hung my hoodie. Purse was there on table under hoodie.

*News,  DJT did not concede

LP--4R

*Div 2/57, 2/58, Win'y 2/10

20uB

bedroom 2:25

Merry woke up as I got in bed, realized she had slept through alarm to take meds, so she asked me to go get her Amoxi, Naproxen, daily-pill box, and a cup of choc pudding.

Since I had, you know, absolutely nothing better to do, I got up and fetched it all, and brought it back, and helped her partake.

Lights out, sleep?

Not happening.

Read 1st half of July 2020, MCJ

Didja notice, nothing mentioned for dinner?

Nobody's fault but mine.

04:30 up, 10uN, PB out of jar, some kinda choco-toffee bar...

Back to bed... some sleep, couple times up to pee

29 December, Tuesday, Diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 64

 11:07 ... toilet, made coffee

191

pills, 24uB, at computer...

Created Stitch's sign in on DDins, bill pay, credit cards...

I took S at 1340, home 1412

watched OklaSU vs Miami (1430 to 1800)

Sunshine out 1515, walmart etc, Merry home 1630, and too bedroom while I watched football

*Div 2/56

I checked with M, made sure she was feeling okay, then took 75 mg Sildenafil, and went into bedroom to join her...after undressing and cleaning up my butt and groin.... and began, well, masturbating, to get an erection  while watching All Rise

It worked, 80 to 90%

I got on her Missionary

..took a break, I continued masturbating...

She got on me, Cowgirl

and rolled off, I got back on top of her...

and we ...surrendered. 

Happy ending(s) for her, not me, oh well, we tried. I still have 100mg tablets to try

Up and dressed... to cold to hang around naked

2015 fed D with pill, in living room

*Chase - celebrity

2100 12uN, pills

Pastrami and mustard on T. Toast, open faced, p.chips

*MMI 2/13,14

*T Weakest Link 1/2

Merry out 2250, home with Stitch 2320

*News

House passed legislation, upping Stimulus to $200; McConnell has stalled it in the Senate

DJT did not concede

*MB 8:19,20,21,22,23,24

Merry (Sunshine)to bedroom 0200

Read MCJ May '20, June '20

0315 to bedroom

couldn't sleep, felt the pressure in my gut like when I'm really stressed or nervous

0530 10uN, 2 Resse's Xmas Trees

 sleep ... 

28 December, Monday, Diary, HFC 55 and RAIN

1200-0100 thunder and lightning...

11:30 toilet ... shower, b/t, shv, dry dress, 

169

22uN, pills, coffee, toilet

Called Delta Dental for Stitch

was raining ... pouring...but by 13:40, a break, some sunshine, I drove self to Physical Therapy 2-230

Pouring when I came out of PT, let up by the time I got home 14:50

Out with Merry to Winco, some shopping for us, beer for E, took beer to Ev, home 1700 44943

DJT signed legislation, allowing for a $600 stim payment for eligible people

 but wanted the Stim. to be $2000

*MNF NEPats vs BuffBills

LP 5r 

Gave up on watching game.

Tuned in TRMS, but no RM, so didn't watch

*Chase 4/x

*watched some LedZepellin sound alike band on ch.3 from Cerritos Center

12uN, pills

Pork roast, rice, green beans

2100 to bedroom

2200 Masturbated to a fantasy of a wedding night, New wife becomes 'Aunt May' who tugs my penis til I cum, then puts me over her lap for a hard hair brush spanking, puts me in corner while she showers... then leads me to bed for hot n heavy sex (or as we used to call it, WMS)

DJT did not concede

2300 12uN, PB/Choc ookies, then choc pop tart

0100 Merry to bedroom

0200 up for a NutBud

 

27 December, Sunday, diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 60

 1230 toilet

Merry asked me to take S to work

22uB, 214, pills, coffee, couch, 

*Red Zone

1340 out with S, to work, home 1415 ... poop

Sunshine, up

At desk, looked up on Kaiser site, dental coverage for Stitch, then bill pay

10uN, then pork/ham/bacon omelette and T. toast

Merry to bedroom because I was watching football

LA Rams vs Seahawks

GBPack vs Tenn Titans

1845, Merry up

finish MCJ Mar'20

2100 Fed D with pill, then B

11uN, pills, 

Ham, cheesie potatoes (from a box ...), rolls

*MB 8/14,15,16,17,18

Merry out 2250, home with S 2328, 44921

News

DJT did not concede

*House 1:21,22

read MCJ April '20

BR 0130 with Merry

 sleep ...

0530 up to pee, and get choc brownie

26 December, Saturday, Stitch 2-11, HFC 65

 11:40 toilet, 20uB, shower, b/t, shv, w/hair, dry, dress, coffee

209

1230 Sunshine up ...

pills...couch

*SF 49ers vs Ar Cards on Prime Video

Merry in shower, so I spoke to Ev when M's phone rang for a shopping list... for which she had no requests.

M & S out 1345 (Stitch to work)

Merry home 1500, working in kitchen

12uN then scrambled eggs with Christmas pork, and dinner rolls and Lime Pie

*Becker (2 Christmas eps)

Arizona lost; playoff chances are difficult to calculate

1730 Sunshine out to Ev

and home 1745

set up dishwasher

and hour later, up to empty dishwasher. Sunshine asked me if I wanted help, I said, a bit brusquely, "I don't care" so she went off to bedroom with hurt feelings.

I emptied dishwasher

2100 Merry up

We watched "Dolly Christmas special"

Fed B and D/with pills

*SNL from 12-8-18

Sunshine out for S, 2255, home 2325

DJT did not concede

Finished MCJ Feb '20

Ate the 1/3 of large burrito that she couldn't finish

*SNL from Oct .. '20

20uB, pills

0100 in BR

*Becker 3.9

*MB 8/x, 8/x

up 12uN, ham, p.chips, brownie

0500 up for pb.choc cookies

Christmas Day, Friday, Diary, HFC 70

 UP 800, 930, 1040 to pee and poop, Merry still sacked out on couch

brush teeth...pills... 160... 20uB ...coffee...  Merry up, starting on breakfast

At desk, diary entries....

12:30 Christmas pork, scrambled eggs, toast...

Present exchange:

Me: clothes(sweat pants, shirts), 4-way pen (Forty dollars!, Merry screamed, when she saw this on my Amazon list), book (Wizard of Death), TBBT trivial game, rechargeable screwdriver

Stitch: clothes, phone holster, magnifying glass (3 interchangeable lenses, and lighted)

Merry: clothes, pressure cooker, stands for baking chicken, books (Obama and RBG), Google game card.

I put new clothes in washing machine

Stitch did 90% of work cleaning up wrapping paper, and breaking up boxes...

Together, emptied dishwasher, and cleaned sink, adding dishes to dishwasher...

Diaries input from 12/20 to this point right now, moving to couch for football game... while Sunshine said, she's gonna take a nap (13:37)...

...........................

called Dad, talked a bit...

*watched M.Vikings vs NO Saints

Laundry, dryer

1545, Sunshine up, we gave her, her gift, of a HUGE brown teddy bear. We didn't wrap it in paper, but slid onto each end a jumbo black garbage bag.

She went into bedroom, to call Ev. Returned to LR, 1640

1650 game over.

*Chase 4.13, 3.15, 

LP 6R

*Chase 3.11, MB 3.11 and 5.12

20:30 12uN, pills

baked ham, potatoes au gratin, dinner rolls

*Minions special

*Robbie the Reindeer

*Santa Clause is coming..."

*News

DJT did not concede

*MB 9.4, 7.12,

12uB, bedroom, talk...

0200 zzz...

0530 10uN, PBnChoc cookies

 

 

24 December, Thursday, Stitch 11-8, hfc 70

 0950 toilet, pill box, pills, coffee, Stitch to work by Lyft, 

168, 22uN,  Becker 1/12

Merry up 1200, #2 dropped by for fruitcake 1230, and left cookies

*Becker 1:13,14,15,16

*MB 8/6,7

Sunshine nap 1700

MB 8/8,9,10,11, TRMS

1945: Sunshine asleep, so out for Stitch, home 2025

Fed Donna + pill, 

Bedroom 2045--2145

up, 12uN, pills, 

fried chicken n p.chips

M up 2220

*Mis Index 2/13 (12?), B-positive from 12/17, news

DJT did not concede

*"Grandma got run over..."

*"How the Grinch..."

bedroom 0130

M, 0200

i.c.c. 0330 ..Merry Sunshine, sacked out on couch

23rd December, Wednesday, Diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 68

 12:20 toilet, shower, b/t, shave, dry, dress, toilet

210

pills, coffee, 22uB, toilet

1342 3 in car. Drop me at Phy Ther 1356, in 2 - 230

She dropped S at Walmart, went to Winco, back for me 1435, then to Aldi (me to toilet, thought I pooped in diaper, but no...only gas), then Von's .. i went into Starbux for iced coffee, back to car... WF to deposit check from Dad (100), then to Walmart for rx and other, 

1612 home, groc up and away

Sorted through my purses, 

Rec'd 6 LP from Bllu

1645 Merry nap

*DnD 4/16b

*MMI 2/x, TRMS

1955 Merry up

*Jeop-rr, Tues, then Wed

12uN, pills, fried chicken n celery

*WoF - Tues

Fed Donna w/pills

WoF today, MB 8/2

car with M 2245, pick up Stitch, home 2325 44839

20uB, br 2330, NEWS

DJT did not concede

could.not.sleep

0500 most of a Dark Choc bar

sleep maybe after 0600

This marks seven full days of No Metformin.

Blood sugar... okay (222 to 146) surely because of insulin.

No episodes of diarrhea

Some of what seems like constipation, or maybe that's 'normal'? when not effected by the Metformin?

At any rate, I am pleased

22 December, Tuesday, Diary, HFC 63

1230  toilet, b/t, pills, 146, 20uB, coffee, couch,  Merry up 1300, Merry called H.I. re a GI doc, finally got through... a poop for me, finally, Stitch did some laundry for me, so I put it away, I called Wlmt re a missing rx (for sild'n): they found it while I was talking to them...(it was ready a couple hours later), toilet, Merry finished the H.I. call at 1630, then Merry n Stitch to market, and Eve, 1650 and home 1745 (44808)

*Chase 4/1, MMI 2/?

*TRMS

cookies from Mich, downstairs

*NeXt 108, 109, 110 and done

2145 Merry to bedroom

2000 fed Donna w pill

12uN, Stir fry beef n rice

News 

DJT did not concede

Sunshine up 2300 to 0100

*DnD 4/16a

*Young Sheldon n Mom, again for Stitch

21uB

0130 bedroom

0310 10uN, PB n po.chips

21st December, Monday, Diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 80

 Donna, out of BR 0730

1145 toilet, shower, b/t shave, dry, dress, pills, 160, 22uB, coffee

Sunshine up 1240 

Three of us in car 1340

Me, Phys Thera 14-143-

Sunshine dropped Stitch at work, was waiting for me when I came out.

1445, home. Toast and butter

*Chase 4/4

1545, SUnshine ...nap

*MMI 2/?

*MB 7/19,20

Sunshine up 1730, and in shower after ...accident

OUtside to look at Jupiter/Saturn, and get mail

Sunshine, back to bed

*MB 7/21,22,23,24,25,26

Fed D with pills, fed Bud

2030 12uN, pills, pastra and mustard on SD toast, celery, po.chips

*TRMS, Jeopardy rr, WoF

2250 car with Sunshine, home with S 2330 47803

*News (DJT did not concede)

*MB 8/1, 22uB, hot choc

0130 BR, 

0330 choc n almonds

then...talking to Merry

 having reached an agreement with Sunshine, to have a 'truce' until after Christmas

20 December, Sunday, Diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 78

 1220 up, toilet, pills, 20uB, 171, coffee, comp. desk

One entry, then 13:40, car ..take Stitch to work, home 1425, 

Ramp for Donna arrived, Merry tried to get Donna to use it, so far no go

At desk, inputting diaries...

Sitting behind me, Merry let out a loud scream very close to my ear... would not explicitly say what was wrong, I am led to believe, it's her frustration with me and my attitude...

Shortly after, she stood up, said she could not do whatever she was doing in such close proximity to me, because of my 'energy' and she stomped off to the bedroom, and slammed the door.

Diaries up to here, done, 1545 on 12/20.

-----------------------------

*Red Zone, then to BR

*Browns vs NYG to 2030

Fed D with pill

12uN, pills, 

Pastrami and Mustard on sourdough toast, with po. chips

Becker 1/9, 10

Nap 2130 to 2330

meanwhile Merry out for Stitch and back, 44777

2350, 20uB and headache pill

DJT did not concede

*MB 7/13,714

SUnshine in br 0100, Donna in 0130

*MB 7/15,16, 

10uB, cinna buns

MB 1/17,18 

Nutty buddy

Talked to Sunshine about Donna

0330??

19 December, Saturday, Diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 70

 0840 up, toilet, coffee, 222, pills, 22uB, coffee, couch

OU v Iowa State 0900 to 1235 (27 -21)

ND v Clemson, 1300 to 1620

(10-34)

Merry up 1320; out with Stitch 1345, groc shopping, home 1610

2 EMs with butter...1400

nap on couch 1610

load up fridge,  Heath bar

1700 Alabama v Florida  2045

(52 -46)

fed Donna with pill

2 boxes with mattress pads arrived...(after first order was marked 'undeliverable' on the app, Merry ordered another one...)

12uN, pills

Turkey n gravy n celery

*JEop, WoF, fox news 

New mattress pad on bed, along with sheets and electric blanket....

DJT did not concede

Merry n me out 2250 , pick up Stitch at work, gas for car, then two LP at Arco at LB/W

2335 home, bed ..

0200 PBChoc cookies n milk

18 December, Friday, Diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 68

 1200 awake when Merry got a phone call from Eve, who was upset about M's handling of finances

Up, toilet, pills, 154, 22uB, coffee

Rewatched *Unicorn for Stitch, then Chase 4/11

Merry n Stitch out 1350 (drop Stitch at work, Merry shopping for E)

Signed 4 Xmas cards, put them in outgoing mail, filled in IRS app for earned income credit, also in mail...

*MMi 2/10 ...  

DVR list, then

*WFA 1/10,11,12,13

1705 Merry home

*Becker 1/4,5

NO 6PM, I'm still annoyed...angry...resentful

*TRMS but no RM

Fed Donna w/pill

*Jeop, WoF, tWL 1/10, 

Turned on wall heater behind couch

13uN, pills

Black beans n rice n linguisa n bacon

*MB 7/9, 10, 11

Merry out 2250, home with S 2340

*News

DJT did not concede

20uB, 0030 bedroom

*Becker 1/6,7,8

M... zzz 0230 

0530 10uN, PBChoc cookies n milk

Sunshine still up on couch, watching Fight Club, to bedroom talking about resentment

17 December, Thursday, Diary, Stitch 2-11,HFC 63

 1100 toilet, shower, shv, b/t, dry, dress, 23uB, toilet, 178, fill pill box, NO METFORMIN, pills, coffee couch

Three of us, out 1335

Drop me at PhyTHer 1350, exchanged angry words about her 'having to use reverse to get out'

She went on to drop Stitch at work, 

PT 14 to 1430

She picked me up, then Walmart, Eve's place to drop fruitcake, Smart n Final

1540 home

 put puppy pads, down in utility hallway

*Chase 4/?, MMi 2/?

No 6PM, I was... pissed

*TRMS, Jeop, WoF

LP 1R

*Young Sheldon, B Positive, 

Fed Donna w/pills

*Mom, Unicorn

*House 8/20

Merry out 2250, home with Stitch 2325,  44693 

emptied dishwasher, 13uN, pills, sweet rolls n PB PRetz

*News

DJT did not concede

*Colbert

*House 8/21   14uB

*House 8/22 finale

0307 bedroom

 zzz

0430 i.c.cone

16 December, Wednesday, HFC 70

 12:43 toilet, B/t, pills, 22uB, talk with Stitch, who was working on patio, then he brought Tree and box of decorations up from garage.

Merry ordered mattress pads on Amazon.

Merry, dressed and out to LaVerne to deliver fruitcake

I got the tree up, and started decorating. Stitch came in, showered, and helped me finish .. 1650

*Chase 4/9, MMi 2/?, TRMS, Jeop, WoF

Ordered pizza from PH, 2015

*HOuse 8/14

Merry home 2030

6pm missed...

Called about pizza 20:45

Pizza arrived 2110, with a coupon for a free large

12uN, pills,  pizza

*Bob H A (from 12/14)

*All Rise (from 12/7

2300 both of us to bedroom

*News

DJT did not concede

*Colbert

zzz

Donna in 0130, I helped her onto bed

0430 up for Heath and M D

0530 got Donna off the bed, and out of bedroom

15 December, Tuesday, Diary, HFC 70

 10:05 awakened by text from Dennis.

Merry to toilet, then me. Merry, back to bed. Put my shoes on, grabbed a fruitcake, downstairs, as Dennis and Shelly arrived in a new Kia Suv.

Talked with them until 11:15.

Upstairs, gathered laundry that Stitch would put in wash. 

Toilet, shower, shave, b/t, dry, dress, brushed hair..;

Pills, 23uB, talk, coffee, couch

1315, car with Sunshine; dropped me at PhyTherapy for 13:30 to 14:00. Picked up by Merry at 14:15.

To Walmart, 99c store, Alb's.

1610, home

nap to 18:15.

Intentionally missed "6 pm" by sleeping through it.

Why? A feeling of ..anger..and resentment... building up within me, based on my belief that she would rather be with B than with me.

*TRMS, Jeop, WoF

LP 2R

*Mis Index 2:17

Feed Donna with pill

13uN, pills

Rice,beans, linguisa, bacon

*Chase 4/16, Next 1/8?

Merry to bed, 2145

*MMI 2/?

*Mis Index 2/18

News

empty dishwasher

DJT did not concede

*Colbert

*Becker 1:1

Bedroom

*Becker 1:2

Merry Sunshine had an accident... complete change of sheets and mattress pad . 02:00

02:00 bedroom, zzz

04:00 up for PBCHoc cookies

14 December, Monday, Diary Stitch 2-11, HFC 67

 10:10 toilet, B/t, dress, woke up Merry, pills, 23uB, toilet

1040 car with M, she dropped me at Dr Yeh's office, and departed.

Checked in, paid $30 ...

Weight, blood pressure ..to examining room 11:23.

And down on the floor stretched out until Dr Yeh came in, about 12:45, talked about

*Metformin.  I will stop taking it when I finish what I have (which will be Wednesday) and return to monitoring my blood sugar

*Recent lab work...most numbers, pretty ok.'

*RX for a I dont remember shot. Measles virus. WTF is it... oh yeah, shingles

*Up the dose for sildenafil to 100 mg, rx sent

*Rx for whatever it's called for cholesterol.

*depression? wait and see

Out 14:05 Called Merry, she had just dropped Stitch at work and was inside Winco..or Walmart.

Waited outside in the cold strong wind.

She arrived, home 1420

Coffee, finally. Afraid to drink any earlier, because it helps move my bowels very quickly

Merry and I went over our Amazon lists and did our Xmas shopping, including for Stitch.

The pharmacy screwed something up, by renewing my Lotrel RX again (just got last week) and not filling the sildenafil.

Emailed Dr Yeh.

Text to Dennis about fruitcake, which he said he would come get tomorrow.

*Chase, MMi, 

Merry, nap 1645 to 1845

At 1845, I went to Stitch's room, undressed, knelt over bed. She rolled die/dice, came in, selected implements, and applied 6 (4,10,8,6,7,8).

Pix at the bottom of this.

Finish Ravens beating Browns

*TRMS

Fed Donna with pill

13uN, pills, cheese on ground beef on tort. chips

*Jeop, WoF

with Merry 2245 to pick up Stitch, home 2330, 44592

Electoral college voted, Biden wins! Shocker.

DJT did not concede...shocker.

*News, Colbert.

0430 bedroom

0530 up for PBnC cookies

13 December, Sunday, Diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 67

1100 and 1115 tried to wake up Merry.

1120, Me up, Merry up 5 minutes thereafter

Merry at work in kitchen, on fruitcake

Shower, b/t, shv, dry, dress ... pills, 22uB, coffee

Desktop, paid a med. bill, applied for a CC, started diaries from 12-8 ...

Paused at 13:45 to take Stitch to work while Merry continues in kitchen, Home 14:22

Continued Diaries through 12:12 plus this much. ...........

couch, football and my diary notes.

LP - 3r

MB ?,?

18:30  spank 3 imp, 8,8,9, pix

Helped her in kitchen

*Bills v Steelers

Fed D + pill, 13uN, pills

Steak n rice

*Who wants to be a millionaire

*Card Sharks

Talked to M about Eve

DJT did not concede

2 of us out 2330, home with Stitch 0015  44511

0030 bedroom

*MB x 2

0330 Merry in

0430 cookies n MDew

 

12th of December, Saturday Diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 64

 0530? sleep

up cinnamon cakes, back to bed

Donna out, 7:30

sleep to 12:30

23uB, pills, coffee

M&S out 1330, drop Stitch, then to Krispy Kreme for Dozen Day (she didn't wait, lines too long) then she went to Arco, LB&W for LPods for me

Meanwhile, twitter chat, wrote an email to Merry about "6 PM", 

OU vs WVU cancelled by WVU

*OSU crushed Baylor

pooop

talked to Merry about 6 PM.

Along came 6 PM.  

I went to Stitch's room, stripped down, knelt on ottoman over his bed.

She rolled one die for number of implements, and two dice for number of swats per implement...

She came into the bedroom, and used 6 implements, with swats numbering 3,4,7,6,6,8.

Pictures, at the end of this entry

I offered, and she accepted oral service, given to her in our bedroom.

I showed her my baby penis, and she told me about a song called "Small Dick Man" from the 90s which I had never heard, so we went to the desk top, and she played it for me on YouTube.

I nominated it to be 'our song'. Still pending

She sat at desktop, looking at recipes for fruit cake while I

continued on Twitter chat,

1930 fed Donna w pills

11uN, pills

Hawaiian chicken with rice

*Jeop, WoF

2250 Merry out, home with Stitch 2330 44485

while I emptied the dishwasher

DJT did not concede

*House 8:17, 

Got Buddha's new flea collar on him

*House 8:18

*SNL new

*last 1/2 of Fried green Tomatos

Donna went to bed with Stitch, 

M & me, to bed, 03:45

11 December, Friday, Diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 61

 Donna off bed, 7:30

Merry up, 12

Me up 12:55

Toilt, shower, b/t,shv, brushed out hair, dry, dress

3 in car 13:40

Drop me at P.T., 13:50

She dropped Stitch at work, went shopping at Winco

I did various exercises on my right shoulder... done 1440

15:10 picked up by Merry, then Von's n Starbucks (I did not go in),Aldi's (I went in), Smart n Final (I did not go in),Walmart (I did not go in)

1730 home

Groceries up and away

and Donna was stretched out on OUR couch

got her moved off and

TRMS, while paying her Cerulean, my Fortiva

*Jeop'y, WoF

fed Donna with pill

13uN, pills...

Chili on pastrami on texas toast

*tWeakest Link 1/8

  pooooop

Merry nap 2109-22:45

*Win'y, Div'd, Chase

In car with Merry, 22:50.

Arrived for Stitch 23:10, then Merry found a text from Stitch, stating that he was working til 23:45. LOL

Home 00:10 44453

Finish Chase, theh MMi 2/x

News (DJT did not concede

Colbert

LP--? R

Merry, me, Donna in bedroom 0400

10 December, Thursday, diary, Stitch 2-11, hfc 64

 0530 Donna being a brat in bed, would not settle down

0630 zzz

0730 Donna bratting some more, then off the bed

0915 Carlos Electric called, 0930 Carlos here, Stitch let him in

12:11 up, coff, fill pillbox, pills, talked to Stitch about Donna, B/T, 20uB

Merry up 1245

Stitch, Lyft to work

1400 Carlos done... (kitchen light still twitchy as I write this on 12/13)

1500 Win 2:6, Div 2:53, Chase 3:1, MMi 2:4, TRMS, Merry nap 1830 to 2030

*Jeop'y, WoF

Fed Donna w pill

*House 8/13n14

2145 13uN, plls,

Hawaiian Chicken n Rice

Merry > 2250, home with S 2325  at 44421

News (DJT did not concede)

Colbert, house 8:16

0300, Merry, me, and Donna to bedroom

9 December, Wednesday, Diary, Stitch 2-11, HFC 72

09:00 Donna, off bed

10:15 Stitch brought to Merry, tea and pill

11:00 Merry's dr called

11:30 Merry, up 

12:15, me up.  Stage 1 ST done

Pills, 23uB, coffee, toilet

M&S > 1330....

DVR list, change diapr n socks, 

*Win'y 

Merry home, 1430  with

New Blu device which still did not get my newly purchase LPs to work  grrrr

I wrote an email to Blu, no response yet

*Div'd

Merry to Eve at 1510 on some emergency (she lost her wallet and phone...found 'em by the time Merry got to her)

*Chase 4/1

Merry home 1620 with another 2 LPs (Gold Leaf) which seem to Work, yeahhh

She told me she drove hither and yon, looking for them (found at Arco @ LB/Ward

Merry asked for a treat... which was, to spank me ... a little.

So, 3 paddles, 5 swats of each applied to my bare bottom while bent over in Stitch's room

Fin Chase 4:1, then 4:8

*MMi 2:2,3, TRMS

19:15 Merry out to pick up Jon, who went in for outpatient surgery on his broken arm,  and home 2030

*Jeop, WoF

20:40 fed Donna with pill, then pills, 13uN,

Hawaiian Chicken

*BBT 

Merry >2250, home 2320 

44408 

News    DJT did not concede

Colbert

03:30 bedroom with Merry and Donna

8 December, Tuesday, diary, HFC 81,

 06:00 zzz

09:00 Jon called ...wakee wakee. Merry up and showered, Donna off the bed

Merry back to bed, up 11:00

Merry n Stitch, out shopping (sears?) 12:06

12:07 me, up. still in Stage 1 Silent Treatment

Toilet, pils, 20uB, coffee

Diary entry for 12/7

Shower, wash hair, b/t, shv, dry, dress, gather laundry, brush hair, coffee

M&S home, 1400 

Sunshine n me, 1455, Arco 2 LP (which did not function, grr)

to Physical Therapy.

S to Walmart

My appointment was just an assessment.  Done at 16:10, waiting

Picked up at 1645, to WF for deposit, then Eve's to drop groceries, and home, 17:40.

Laundry in dryer.

*Win'y 2/4, Div'd xx, Jeopardy

13uN, pills Chili n Buns, ritz crackers

*WoF   poooop

Laundry away

*The Transplant 11,12,13 (Done)

*News 

 DJT did not concede

*Colbert

0130 to bedroom

0300 cookies n milk

zzz

I should have saved this for April 27, but I couldn't wait

7 December, Monday, diary, HFc 68

 Still annoyed about events, yesterday, so Stage 1 Silent Treatment

1000, up to pee, and help Donna get off bed

Stitch came in, offering Merry tea and pea, but she was 'out' and mumbled, 'no...'

12:27  toilet, b/t, pills,23uB, coffee,finished diary of 12/6.

On couch, figured out the we, locally, we not get the broadcast of WAS v Pitt. Reasons having to do with NFL giving rights to Direct TV bla blah blahh

*Chase, MMi 2/1, 

Merry up 1400 ... made breakfast for herself, raisin toast and eggs, without asking me if I wanted any (thing).

Moonbase 1/4,5,6

 while Merry worked on ...her project in kitchen

Merry out shopping, looking for gallon glass jars or somesuch, 1700  (home 1900  44333

She passed through the living room and announced, "This is my 21st Anniversary!" She did not explain, was probably waiting for me to ask. But I was still in Stage 1 ST, so I ask no questions.

 Then she made clam chowder for her and Stitch. By which I mean, as offered, I would not eat it. She DID ask me what I wanted for dinner, I told her, I'd figure it out

Misery Index x/16

2nd MNF game: Bills v 49ers.

I was deep into research this blog while game was on, so I think Bills won

*TRMS, Bob heart A, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, News, Colbert

 DJT did not concede

Now, MY dinner;  Peanut butter pretzels and ritz crackers.  Wheee...

Followed by a serious pooop.

Pills, and 23uB, then bedroom 0130, with Merry at the same time

Extended research into this diary (trying to find the date of the BoD party, where she fisted me .... 8/3/13, we weren't married yet.

6 December, sunday, Diary, HFC 71, Stitch called in sick

 Stitch called into work, 'sick'. He was not really sick, but, his son D is working six days, only gets off on Sunday, which means Sunday is the only day Stitch can visit his son and granddaughter .... so...

Stitch woke us up, as he was told to, at 915. Merry had been complaining of belly pains most of the night, morning, and said, "Come back in a little bit..."

I did not want to see Stitch disappointed on what may be the only joy in his life, so I said, "I'm getting up..."

Toilet... dress.   Stitch pointed out that Donna refused to eat, and pooped in the kitchen and small room near the back door. 

In car with Stitch 0945, dropped him at D's, and home 1040

Asked Merry if she had her med yet. "No". Brought her bottled water and pill bottle. She took pill, drank water, I left her alone.

Pills, 23uB, started coffee.

I watched Donna. She went out on the back porch first step, but would not go down the steps.

Then she went to Stitch's room, and gobbled up wet and dry food left for Buddha.

So I got her still un-eaten bowl of food, put some wet cat food on top of what was in there, and she ate...most of it.

Then I had to feed Buddha again.

Then Donna was in our bedroom, trying to get on the bed, but very hesitant to use the steps. So, I helped her get on the bed.

Done with animals... 

Turned on TV to RedZone, sat at desktop.

Diary entries from/including 11/30 to, um, now.

Just spoke to Merry, who called me on phone. She is in bed, trapped by a dog on one side, cat on the other. She's happy about it.... (12:49 pm 12/6)

---------------------------------------------------------------

(Continued, 1:20 pm 12/7)

Merry up 1320, and got Donna off the bed.

Done with diaries, I went to couch, 

... Ariz Cardinals vs LA Rams  (I don't watch many full length pro football games, I prefer seeing snippets like on the Red Zone, but I like watching the Cards with Kyler Murray (Heisman Trophy winner, OU 2018)

Merry in kitchen, working on a fruitcake recipe

Stitch home - 1400

LAR wins, 38 to 28

1700 Merry and Stitch out to Winco for more ... brandy! home 1800

KCC vs DB

20:00 13un pills ,  roast beef n baked  potato

KCC won, not the blowout I expected.

*AFHV, Who ... Millionaire..., the Wall, Card Sharks, NeXt, 

In the kitchen, I see the ingredients for a snack recipe seen on FB 4 weeks ago; she purchased the ingredients 2.5 weeks ago.  I had some unkind words about her choosing to spend a bunch of time on this fruitcake, and not the other recipe...

She referred to me as a spoiled brat on a FB post; I wrote that I will NOT be eating any of this. She wrote "cut off your nose to spite your face". No reply from me is forthcoming.

Moonbase8 1:3

 DJT did not concede

0130, went to bedroom, did not say 'good night' to her

Up 05oo to pee: she was sitting on couch, playing game on phone, watching tv

She came to bed, 0600 ish.

Donna followed her, managed to get on bed by herself

Follow up to the follow-up

 Dec 5

Merry did not respond to my post Follow Up on the post itself, but rather hy an email to me, asking a number of pointed questions, requiring someeel  self-examination on my part.

Could I follow through? If we made a list, would I accept discipline consistently, or would I, at some point, say "Fuck no!" 

 Which she said, was my usual MO.

I answered honestly, I had no gauge on my resolve, but, it did not feel all that strong.

Next email, she asked, "Should I make a list (of rules) or not?"

I replied, "Not at this time."

She wrote back, "I love you, MY Chosen One."

I relied, "I love you, My Wife."

I think the case is closed.

5 December, Saturday, Diary, HFC 69, Stitch 2-11

 12:10 toilet, pills, 23uB, coffee, couch...

>ND 45 vs Syracuse 21

Merry n Stitch . 1335, then Merry to #2's to take him to LBMH for him to get his splint adjusted, home 1500

Stitch washed my load of socks in the morning, then put them in dryer; I moved them from dryer to bedroom

> ISU 42, WVA 6

some blood test results from 12/1 came to my phone:

A1C 6.5, Glucose 140

>OU 27 vs Baylor 14 to 2030

Merry out 1700 to pick up #2 at LBMH, take him home

Then home 1841, and having had a bowel problem on the way, took a shower to clean up, then she was out again to McD's, home 1919

While waiting, 13uN, pills, fed donna with pill

then  2 McRibs n FF

then pooooop

*SNL 2045 to 2200 

Jeop, WoF

Merry out 2250 home 2330 , 44287

DJT did not concede

*Winsanity, Div'd

*Unicorn (again, for Stitch)

LP -- 2R

*COnnors

*House 8/11

0230 bedroom

sleepless

0430 cookies and p.chips 

zzz

Follow up

Dec 4 

 In response to my post, Obsessed, Merry and I had an in-bed chat, mostly about the final section, where I advocated for a modified form of DD, where we would make a list of rules, and she could punish (spank) me for violations.

Her primary objection was, my lack of ability to follow through, like, I say I went this now, but after a day, two days, three days, I'll say something else. 

I admit to a lot of flip flopping. 

We had it pretty good when we practiced DD within a roleplay while shooting videos. At least, I was consistent.

Her suggestion was some form of self-reporting, as in, I tell her when I do ...something... worthy of punishment, and she administers it. 

Which means, I have to ask for it.

Meh.

Looks like I have to compartmentalize this into the file in my brain marked "fantasies", occasionally open it for wank fodder, and conclude the Reality of it is over for me.

4 December, Friday, Diary, HFC 73, Stitch 2-11

1145 pooooop

pills, 23uB, sort sox, poop again, shower, b/t, shv, dry, clip fingernails, dress, coffee, to couch...

*Win 2/2, Div'd, DnD, Chase

Merry out with Stitch 1340,  and off to markets...

Home 1625, to unload here, I put stuff away, she went on to Eve's to drop her stuff and home 1730 

*House 8/?, TRMS, Jeop, NO WoF

13uN, pills, Fed Donna with pills, 

Turkey mustard onion on toast, with p.chips

*All Rise

*House 8/?

*Murphy 7/r

2 of us out 2255, get Stitch at work, then to 76 gas, then home 2335 44242 

News

 DJT did not concede

Colbert

0130 bedroom

talk, talk, talk

0400 up for cookies

zzz 

Obsessed

 Started this 12/03  1945

I have felt depressed a lot lately, and I am going to speculate it's because I am obsessed with ... not getting what I want, not knowing what I want, not being physically able to get what I want.

For a long time, I had no libido, no interest, in spanking (being spanked) or sex.

"It" has returned, slowly, bit by bit.

I have been able to masturbate a few times, albeit with no erection....

Always to fantasies about being spanked.

I've gone as far as to request sildenafil from my doctor. 1 time with 25mg, nothing happened. Next time, 50mg, nothing happened. Three pills of 25mg remain, I shall try those...soon.

Meanwhile, I've been reading on Twitter and Tumblr about  cuckolding, chastity, DD and the like...  and I feel like I want it all, and at the same time, i don't understand it.

I've read about being 'locked up and pussy free'.  Why?  Just because your mate is, um, screwing around with whomever she wants, why should that preclude you/me from having some kind of ...normal sex..?

I don't get it, but it sounds kinda fun.

But Merry couldn't, won't, do that.  She has had sex outside our marriage, once, but it was with my knowledge and blessing, but she'll argue to the death that it wasn't cuckolding.  I was not locked up, I was not left to be without.

Nor would she repeat it, without making a connection first, which ... takes time.

Chastity for me... what would be the point?

Merry used to say she could not do small penis humiliation on me because, well, I did NOT have a small penis.

Now, maybe I do. She has not had a good look at it lately, and I haven't measured it lately, but I think now I could qualify.

But, what would be the point of caging a cock that doesn't get hard, anyway?

So

Meanwhile, my recurring fantasy, I mean I go to sleep with it most every night:

What if:  I was still a virgin at 20 (not far fetched, I was a virgin until I was 19) and came down with something like prostate cancer.... prostate removed, hormone therapy, so I had no libido, unable to get an erection.... a life led with no female companionship, because what woman would want me?  The fantasy goes on, with some woman wanting to be 'with' me, but has to go elsewhere for sexual satisfaction. 

Sometimes I think I would have been better off, never having female companionship in my life, I just dunno. I went through MOST of my life preferring masturbation to intercourse with the woman I was with (current marriage excepted).  What if I had continued my whole life, single?

Well, I AM married, and I don't know if I could have gotten through my C diagnosis and treatment without Merry.

But is this non-contact relationship okay with Merry? She says it is.

She suggested some kind of breast torture I could give her. I said I would, but I haven't yet.  Either she's not 'feeling' it, or I'm not, or some other reason.

Spanking: I LOVE the idea, as opposed to 18 months of not caring.

At my request, she spanked me on the 14th,15th,16th and 22nd.  So, now it's been almost two weeks. It's been up to me to call for it, and I have been ... oh, hesitant. Maybe it's the 'quid pro quo' aspect. If she spanks me, I feel obligated to do something for her.  I don't like feeling obligated.  

With a view towards DD, Here's a suggestion for Merry to consider: 

Make a list of things I do that are annoying or irksome to you.

We probably can't get into household chores. I'm rarely physically able, and Stitch takes care of most of 'em.

But I could suggest: 

*smart mouth, sarcasm, belittling, nagging... anything out of my mouth you could deem as hurtful

*ensuring I shower, at least every other day

*ensuring my diaper is changed and clean, every day/night

*whatever she might think of that I might agree to...

With this list of things I agree are 'bad habits', I suggest some form of corporal punishment is indicated. Immediate, not to be put off.

Exact 'number' to be discussed OR determined by Spanker, OR use the random spanking selector (my preference)

That's all I got for now, I hope this gets all 'this' out of my head.

3 December, Thursday, Diary, HFC 74, Stitch 2-11

 1030 Stitch brought tea and meds to Merry;

1215 up, fill pillbox, took pills, 23 uB, fix coffee, toilet ...., coffee

I've been reading MaleChastityJournal .... found a pix from "Fun with Shilo" on the blog entry!  Merry unhappy about it (being used without permission); I contacted the writer...he wrote me back, within a day, maybe two, photo credit appeared on the photo.

 The blog, shared by "Lion" and "Mrs Lion" dates back to Feb of 2014, with 50 to 60 entries every month. I'm in for a long read. Maybe one month's worth a day... 

Merry n Stitch out 1340 ... she stopped at vet for D's pills, then at McD's for me, home 1435

*Win2/1 (Winsanity season two has returned! We really dislike the format from season 1!)

*Div'd, DnD

1530 Carlos here, Merry to bedroom to hide

*Chase

LP--3R

at desktop writing letter to "Lion"

*TRMS, Jeop'y

*Carlos installed lights in dining room n kitchen, out 1915

*WoF

20:00 Merry up

*Young Sheldon

 fed Donna with pill, 13uN, pills, 2 McRibs and FF

*Mom, Unicorn, 11 News

Merry out 2245, home 2335, 44210

2-news 

DJT did not concede

COlbert

0130 bedroom

0500 PB and ginger ale

2 December, Wednesday, Diary, HFC 71, Stitch 2-11

 1245  pills, 23uB, coffee, 

1/2 sandwich, turkey on toast (From Merry)

toilet...urgent... waited a minute for Stitch to get out...made a messy on toilet seat... Merry n Stitch out 1330, while I cleaned toilet, took a shower...dry, dress

1400 Merry home, showered

Out 1450 ME driving, SHE forgot her phone, 

at Dentist 1505, she went in 1525, and out 1555, minus one back molar, 

to Walmart, with script for antibiotic ... out 1700

1725 home

*Div 2/25, Trms, Jeop, WoF, Chase 3/14, DND 1/?, MB 7:1

2250 car with Merry to get Stitch, home 2330, 44184

13uN, pills, 2 burritos n p.chips

*Murphy 7:2

news

Colbert

DJT did not concede

bedroom 0115 

1 December, Tuesday, Diary, HFC 72, Stitch 2-11

 12:00 toilet, shower, b/t, shv, dry, new c/lens in, dress, pills, 24uB, coffee

Merry up 1250 ..shower

  contacted electrician, Carolos

1325 3 of us in car, northbound Magnolia...stopped by PD prior to Wardlow ...later found out, homicide by shooting, at the intersection there... turned around on Magnolia, to Spring and eastward ho

13:45 dropped Stitch; parked, Merry tried to go in, but the line just to get in the store was too line, because I had a 2:15 appointment...

Out to Quest .... blood draw, done 1425, 

TO HB to drop rent check (not much faith in PO now)

While there, #2 called... broke his arm while snowboarding  ...shhhh...don't tell anybody

in BBear.

to Walmart in WMinster (1547)

 to Alb's -1620

1625 home

1700:

*Div'd, DnD, TRMS, Jeop, WOF

2030 14uN, pills, fd Donna

Turkey, stuffing, rolls

*Chase 4/1, tWL 1/6

2250 Merry out, home with Stitch 2330  44144

Fox news

2340 to bedroom

2-news

DJT did not concede

Colbert

0145...

0345 milk, candy,nutbud