Diary Monday Nov 17

Off work 0630...
 and yawning so much on the way home, I really thought I was in trouble...
But made it home, 0730..
She was asleep and I let Her be.
I fed the animals...
Thought about just a quick bite but wound up having a carbo-loaded DM...
And in bed 0810.
She told me, She had just gotten to sleep about when I arrived.
She jumped up around 10 or so, and scrambled to get dressed and get out the door, for whatever She had to do that morning...

UP around 1400 for  P & S

1715 Up feet on floor...She wasn't home yet...
I text Her, saying I NEEDED to get gas, and She told me to talk to Stitch...
Who I did find, out in the driveway,  talking to NumberTwo, who was working on his car there...
And he pedaled off to a ready teller to get cash, and he returned as I got out of the shower.
Dressed...coffee....  toilet ..again...
Car 1815...
Stop for gas...
At work  1925 ..and toilet ..again...

A fairly easy night at work, with a trainee to answer the phones...

HsLS  37
HsLO  845
HsLD  370
hr UN  434
FULL DAYs without a cigarette:  11

SO:
  Yeah, I've been depressed.
   I've been stressed about the lack of balance between our income and our out go...
  I've been upset and annoyed by our inability to attend any of the "fun" functions that we used to go to...
  I've had all sorts of nicotine-withdrawal symptoms, especially grouchiness, irritability, and just being a PITA to be around...
 And my gut has been bothering me...  still does, right now, to some extent...
  And so...it's been ... two weeks since our last 'session' of any consequence.  (meaning, I think there might have been something fun or silly or minor  since then, but I'm not sure...)
 And I believe She is trying to be empathetic about my feelings, both emotional and physical...
 But I know...nothing is going to happen... if and when She asks me, "Do you want to... " or "Do you feel like ..."
I will say, "No", each and every time.

She needs to take charge. 
To avoid a confrontation, She might want to first check in on how I'm feeling, physically... 
 "How you doing, honey?"
 "Oh, I think I'll survive..." 
    or
 "Like throwing up, any minute..."
 And depending on my response,  take charge, in some fashion like: