Aug 13 Her response to my open letter

To say I'm overwhelmed would be an understatement. I cannot begin to absorb all the information tossed at me, and I''ve spent well over 2 hours trying to think of how to compose what needs to be said to you by me.

Please don't get me wrong...... I have many things I want to express, however, you have left me speechless, and lacking words. If you consider that writing and delivering speeches is a big part of what I do, then you understand that this is difficult at best, but it feels impossible.

First, thank you for your honesty. I know it wasn't easy for you. You must understand something, I love you no matter what, and that's not going to change no matter what our situation is. What your situation is. I couldn't leave if I wanted to, and trust me when I say I don't want to. My love for you keeps me here, even though the more I know, the more worried I get...

The more I fear I might have taken on too much. No you are not too much, I just get scared sometimes. In other words, you are stuck with me, like it or not!

I will try and tackle each thing individually so it's not too much at once. First, the money: You WILL NOT spend any more money on me without my permission and consent. PERIOD! This means that I will pay my own way AND possibly even yours. You WILL take ALL your meds, especially the much-needed antidepressant.  You are no good to me if you are depressed or dead. Do you understand me?

Next: I need to know when I have gone to/past your limits. Causing you pain without you experiencing pleasure isn't my idea of fun. No you don't need to cry out purple but you should at least let me know where your head is at any given moment.

Now, SEX: yes, you please me sexually, but it's NOT all about me or it shouldn't be. I want you to have pleasure. also. Do you have any ideas or suggestions to assist me in pleasing you?  You are a priority, not an option, and you need to learn and accept it. Yes, R is also a priority, but each of you fulfill a completely different need in my life, and it's time you accepted that. NOBODY can take that away from you. NOBODY!!!! So please start accepting it and act accordingly. Feeling sorry for yourself and being jealous is only hurting you. It's NOT a competition.

I guess what I'm saying is that I love you and you are very important to me and I will not leave you to fend for yourself. That is a promise and I don't take promises lightly. I want you to always find comfort in my arms and with my love . Now please remember all this because you mean more to me than you'll ever know.