Here goes with some thoughts, feelings, and commentary on this date's session that was dictated by the results She acquired from the Random Punishment Selector:
Punishment
Calling it a punishment gives the session more meaning to me, than when it is just ... for fun. The reason She gave ... was, in my mind, horse puckey, but it was a reason, nonetheless.
If She ever tries to use that particular reason again, though, I will turn around and walk out.
Cock and ball pillory
Using the pillory has been high on My List for quite sometime. The only other time She tried, ended in a fiasco. I think it worked quite well, for keeping me still, while undergoing discipline, although keeping still is not usually a problem for me.
My belief still holds, and is yet untested, that the pillory would be an interesting thing to be locked into, just for corner or forced reflection and or meditation time.
Cold Caning
On My List for some time has been to receive a 'cold caning', one without any warm up at all, just cane strokes across my bottom.
This experience was ... close what I'm hoping for, sometime.
She used a short cane, and delivered stroke after stroke, quickly, from the top of my buttocks, and down my thighs almost to my knees, then quickly had me move to the chair for the next set.
Not to quibble about it, but I am about to do just that, because this is MY journal after all....
I'm still hoping to experience a 'formal British caning'.
Naked, bent over ... something (a chair, or even like I was, this time), a long cane being used, and only on my buttocks, down to the sit spot, with a stroke applied, followed by a five-count for recovery time.
With it all being video recorded.
OR at least pictures taken, immediately afterwards!
Over a chair
I don't remember the last time She had me bend over the back of a chair.
There was something about this position... in the minute or two of waiting for Her .. that felt SO special, so submissive, so much like a little boy waiting for a paddling.
Maybe part of the feeling comes from... so many of our sessions are quick-starting affairs.
No waiting, no hesitation, just get my clothes off, get in position, and whackety whack whack, so I don't have much of a chance to latch onto the any feelings of trepidation or anticipation of the pain forthcoming.
Extra strokes
She added extra strokes .. actually doubled the number of strokes of the rod, when I moved my leg, thinking that's what She wanted.
I kinda enjoyed, that She took control, like that.
Forced cross dressing
She made me put on a dress; even said, I look pretty good in it; even had our 20-something female boarder look at me.
I am a happy cross-dresser, so none of this bothered me. But I enjoyed the idea.
Pinching my nipples during sex
I've mentioned to Her, I find this sort of thing ...distracting, to say the least, and I suspect, had a lot to do with my short erection - time.
Corner time
It usually doesn't bother me or tickle me, much either way.
Well, corner time at strict attention does bother me, something that needs further negotiation.
This corner time, with the door open, which had intent to embarrass me, should anybody come by and see me in the dress, did not bother me too much.
However, I looked at the clock when I went 'in', 0915.
She said, twenty minutes.
When She told me to turn around, it was 9:25.
THAT pissed me off.
"Don't address me as ..... "
"Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Yes, WHAT?"
"Yes, ....." I said, using Her given name.
'Do NOT call me ..... when I am punishing you. If you can't call me 'Mistress', then say 'My Wife."
My emotions are very mixed up about that.
I actually remember feeling angry after the whole session ended.
I started to withdraw into myself, with intention of not saying ANYthing, unless spoken to.
I'm kinda over the worst of that, but I still feel some of it.
Time to move along, now.
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