I had spent the night at work, yawning my fool head off, so hard I thought I'd break a jawbone.
One the morning dispatcher was in and settled, I departed... 05:55.
Home about 06:30.
She was still home, but getting ready to take Stitch to work, then go to Her own appointment...
I fed the critters...
Had my BLD... could not find Monday's newspaper....
And into my bedroom, 0730.
Awake a couple times... but not awake enough to get up..
UP 14:30, went to pee, then go into Her bedroom, which was almost always some cooler.
She was asleep on Her bed when I came in, and lay down next to Her.
Awake a couple time, up for 'good' 1745 or so....
S&D&D.
tallship had started drinking PEG in prep for a colonoscopy on Tuesday, so he was beginning frequent trips to the toilet....
Poured beverages in my GO-cups...
Kissed Her good-bye..
And out, in my car 1835 ..
Almost a smooth ride to work..
But after the transition onto the 101 from the 5...it became VERY slow going... up to the 110 interchange. Once past that, I was moving...but not enough to make up for slow time, and arrived at work 1935.
Same problems at work with the app that runs the electronic communication between dispatch and chauffeurs.
It was non op, still, and has been since Sunday afternoon...
Which mean, many many communications with chauffeurs via radio and telephone. Errrgh.
Meanwhile....
to judge by the content of an email She sent to me, after reading my previous days' entries, She is... oh, what's the right word...
I'll say "Upset".... or "confused". maybe borderline "pissed off".
And ..rightfully so.
My actions and words to Her the last day or so.... well, really Sunday morning as Saturday night at the party went well, I think...
.. so Sunday morning for sure....
contained much passive-aggression.
Not by intention on my part, not by mindfulness, not by self-awareness.
But from emotion, from reacting.
And, I don't know why.
I do think it would help... if She explained 'things'.
When She wants to go out in the garage to 'talk', I would not feel challenges if She explained, right then, why the garage.
When She wants me on my knees to talk to me, I would not feel diminished if She explained, right then, why.
To try to explain my p/a attitude about this 'treat' business:
I think it is illogical and thus wrong to draw a card on Saturday morning....when the 'week' is defined as Sunday through Saturday.
It indicates I'm getting credit for a day (Saturday) that is ...barely started, and so not over with yet.
...However, I've gone back and reread the document, and a week is NOT defined at all (in writing), so that was just Her verbal definition of a week. Hmmm to that. (Actually a 'week' is defined directly under "The Rules" ....
So a week could just as well be from Saturday to Friday.
OR if She is stuck on having a week be Sunday to Saturday, then have the card drawing on Sunday morning.
AND, I resent the Disclaimer section, that calls for the Treat being withdrawn in case of two Merries being called before the Treat is given.
A Treat earned for a week of good behavior is ... a Treat earned, and should not be revoked for bad behavior before the Treat is given. When I earn vacation time at work, it can not be taken away.
So...I signed this without thinking through the situations.
I'm stuck with it ...for the month of August.
So... I'll 'pretend' that Article 8c does not exist, and decline to draw a card on any Saturday that I've earned it.
Or, I could intentionally break enough rules each day, that I do not earn it.
Hmmm.
HsLS 44
HsLO 543
HsLD 46
H UN 540
Her DO No.
One the morning dispatcher was in and settled, I departed... 05:55.
Home about 06:30.
She was still home, but getting ready to take Stitch to work, then go to Her own appointment...
I fed the critters...
Had my BLD... could not find Monday's newspaper....
And into my bedroom, 0730.
Awake a couple times... but not awake enough to get up..
UP 14:30, went to pee, then go into Her bedroom, which was almost always some cooler.
She was asleep on Her bed when I came in, and lay down next to Her.
Awake a couple time, up for 'good' 1745 or so....
S&D&D.
tallship had started drinking PEG in prep for a colonoscopy on Tuesday, so he was beginning frequent trips to the toilet....
Poured beverages in my GO-cups...
Kissed Her good-bye..
And out, in my car 1835 ..
Almost a smooth ride to work..
But after the transition onto the 101 from the 5...it became VERY slow going... up to the 110 interchange. Once past that, I was moving...but not enough to make up for slow time, and arrived at work 1935.
Same problems at work with the app that runs the electronic communication between dispatch and chauffeurs.
It was non op, still, and has been since Sunday afternoon...
Which mean, many many communications with chauffeurs via radio and telephone. Errrgh.
Meanwhile....
to judge by the content of an email She sent to me, after reading my previous days' entries, She is... oh, what's the right word...
I'll say "Upset".... or "confused". maybe borderline "pissed off".
And ..rightfully so.
My actions and words to Her the last day or so.... well, really Sunday morning as Saturday night at the party went well, I think...
.. so Sunday morning for sure....
contained much passive-aggression.
Not by intention on my part, not by mindfulness, not by self-awareness.
But from emotion, from reacting.
And, I don't know why.
I do think it would help... if She explained 'things'.
When She wants to go out in the garage to 'talk', I would not feel challenges if She explained, right then, why the garage.
When She wants me on my knees to talk to me, I would not feel diminished if She explained, right then, why.
To try to explain my p/a attitude about this 'treat' business:
I think it is illogical and thus wrong to draw a card on Saturday morning....when the 'week' is defined as Sunday through Saturday.
It indicates I'm getting credit for a day (Saturday) that is ...barely started, and so not over with yet.
...However, I've gone back and reread the document, and a week is NOT defined at all (in writing), so that was just Her verbal definition of a week. Hmmm to that. (Actually a 'week' is defined directly under "The Rules" ....
So a week could just as well be from Saturday to Friday.
OR if She is stuck on having a week be Sunday to Saturday, then have the card drawing on Sunday morning.
AND, I resent the Disclaimer section, that calls for the Treat being withdrawn in case of two Merries being called before the Treat is given.
A Treat earned for a week of good behavior is ... a Treat earned, and should not be revoked for bad behavior before the Treat is given. When I earn vacation time at work, it can not be taken away.
So...I signed this without thinking through the situations.
I'm stuck with it ...for the month of August.
So... I'll 'pretend' that Article 8c does not exist, and decline to draw a card on any Saturday that I've earned it.
Or, I could intentionally break enough rules each day, that I do not earn it.
Hmmm.
HsLS 44
HsLO 543
HsLD 46
H UN 540
Her DO No.
Perfect &
Complete Male Chastity Training
This society forbids men to masturbate. Male
chastity devices are deplored as unattractive. And unnecessary with a properly
trained male. Schooled
in continence during youth, males do wear a metal penis container. Lack of
self-control is a male trait. “Big boys
do not masturbate” is written and recited repeatedly by the young men.
Frequency of repetition finds them saying it in their dreams. (Denied a mature
self-image all men are ‘boys.’)
Voluntary orgasm denial requires more than
mental conditioning. Remorseless physical punishment is a necessary adjunct to
mental training. Males
found to be lacking in self-control suffer the most painful form of corporal
punishment. Testicles whipped with a cane. Punishment is cold-blooded and
consistent. There are no extenuating excuses.
The honor system is not adequate for male
chastity. Every woman owns a home testing kit. The kits are similar to the
small devices used on Earth by diabetics. Small sample is taken of a man’s
blood. The device determines the presence or absence of chemicals associated
with male orgasms.
A man found guilty of breaking chastity spends
the next week in tears.
No comments:
Post a Comment