As I sat in my car, the owner of the car in front of me, along with like 5 other people, came out...and started talking about ...the damage to the rear end of his car.... and after ten minutes, one noticed that I was sitting there in my car.
He approached me, and ..I gave him my insurance information.
Then I sat quietly awhile, then drove off to the 7-11 for a cup of cappuccino, and returned.
After a few minutes, Stitch came out again.... and said, 'She says, if you're not coming in, then we're both coming out."
"I'm not coming in," I said.
He went back in, and returned with Her.
They got in the car, and I drove...to the restaurant where they, long before me, and now 'we', habitually go for after-dinner ice cream.
The waiter that's been on this shift..forever... met us at the door.... just to tell us, the restaurant was out of ice cream!
No matter, we went in..... we all had coffee, She had apple cobbler, Stitch had banana cream pie....
Stitch went to pay... She came up behind me, bent down, and ...bit my neck.
Unprepared and so not in the mood, I yelled, "G....DAMMIT!"
And...we headed home, in quiet..arriving 0215..and in bed 0230.
She was up earlier...and asked if I wanted pancakes or crepes.
"No thank you... " I mumbled.
While I dozed, She came in, and took my laundry hamper out to the wash area.
I got up, around noon...
Had coffee, and a snack, while reading the newpaper....
Went to use the toilet, and just like it happened repeatedly over these days off, Stitch was occupying the bathroom.
I finally got my turn.
Shortly thereafter, I was prepping to take a shower, prior to work...and our other roommate was in the shower ahead of me. siiiiiiiigh.
And I realized, and started chuckling, it was only 1245 or so.... and I didn't need to leave until 1345 or so.... I was about an hour off in my head.
I was in Her room, talking about that, and She said, "Go get the zombie killer..."
I looked at Her in disbelief for a scant moment, then...went and got it.
I returned, and She told me to bend over the bed...which Stitch was still laying on, while reading email or I don't know what, on his cell phone.
To the seat of my grey boxer briefs, She applied 50+ strokes of the zombie killer.
She pulled down the briefs....
And started shrieking, "These are dirty, your ass is dirty! Take these off! Clean your ass! Put on clean shorts!"
I went to the bathroom, with a deep feeling of "fuck this, I don't need this ..."
My ass was NOT dirty.... what She saw in my briefs was from a prior movement....
I went on to my room, and thought about laying down until it was time to go.
She came into my room, and we talked about it briefly.
She left.... and for a reason that escapes me, I started going through my underwear drawers, folding most of my pairs of briefs and tights, somewhat neatly.
THEN I went and showered...and dressed...and packed ...and mixed up some iced coffee.... while little-s, who had emerged, reminded me twice to 'get gas' as she had seen the low-fuel indicator light up, the night before....
And in my car 1400, and stopped at the closest gas station.
On to work.... traffic on the 10 being thicker than I was used to on that route, then traffic on the 101 was ... jammed.... and so I arrived at work around 1505.
My job on the Sunday shift, is "set up" ..i.e. setting up the next day's work... which I used to do, daily, until I went on the overnight shift. It's a different challenge, and ..sometimes...kinda fun, as it's like putting together a puzzle, getting all the pieces together.
In the course of the night, we exchanged texts:
"Your clothes are ready what would you like me to do with them?"
"Put em back in my laundry basket, after removing anything in there currently and putting in white basket"
"Okay now I'm lost. I interrupted C's laundry to do yours. Now she is doing her laundry. Please re explain your instructions in a way that I may understand it"
SERIOUSLY?
I have two laundry baskets in my room...one large/tan, one small/white. If anything is in the tan one right now, it's dirty...so put it in the white basket, and use the tan one for all the clean laundry coming out of the dryer. What is so fucking difficult?
I wrote back:
"Throw it in the swimming pool"
She wrote
"Will b
"Do so now"
I have no idea how this is going to play out.
I am pretty sure She is way too practical to actually have thrown it in the swimming pool.
But if I arrive home, and see that She really did....
Oh, forget it, I don't want to play the game of "what if".
Later, another text from Her:
"Recorded BBT for you. The spanking episode"
I didn't really care for that episode, even if it did include spanking, and I told Her so:
"Didn't really like it, but thanks."
"Then I will delete it."
The most fitting comment there would have been "whatever..." but I really dislike when OTHER people say that, so I did not say that, or anything else.
And in a few minutes from Her:
"I'm starting to feel like I can't do anything right today"
Well, it was 10:00 at night when She wrote that, and I replied:
"The day is nearly over"
And, 45 minutes after that:
"Did you register for the lick party on Friday? Please let me know ASAP"
Well, the main problem with registering is, one has to do it by RSVPing to an actual invitation, and I have not received one (yet).
The second problem is the one I replied to Her about:
"I did not, and doubtful about going, considering $50."
The price of admission to this party is $15 for F, $35 for M.
Her reply :
"ERGH"
I am curious why She needed my reply "ASAP" but I suppose the answer to that will ... or will not... come out in good time.
Additionally...and something I have yet to discuss with Her ... is....
After my PA the previous night, I am seriously...very seriously.... thinking about taking a hiatus from public play.
I don't mean, swearing it off altogether, just taking a hiatus...while trying to get a feeling for how much I really do or do not 'miss it'.
I'm thinking, all of April....and then She'll be out of town, May 2 to May 9.
So, maybe.... through, and until, She returns.
I don't mean, not going at all, not attending the parties.
Just NOT playing, NOT being turned into an exhibition, NOT walking around with a ring of jingle-bells around my junk just because it amuses Her,
...Just being a spectator, if She wants me to accompany Her to any parties She might want to attend.
HsLO 134
HsLS 35
Her DO? No
HsLD 11 1/2
D UN 96
Thought for the Day
"There are no delays in the Divine Plan for me.
Nothing can hinder the operation of this Law unto my Life and Action.
Obstructions are removed from my path and I now enter into the realization and manifestation of complete fulfillment,
I do not have to wait, for the Law waits upon me at every turn in Life's road."
from My Manifesto:
I will never engage in masturbation of my own accord, but only with express consent and permission from Her.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Sunday, March 30, 2014
03.29 Diary
09:30 up...and pills and something to eat and coffee... then sitting around, then a shower and body shave.
The She gathered up Momma Kukla and her two young 'uns into a carrier, and we went off to a vet, to have them checked out.
We returned an hour or so later...
And She wanted to get Her Daily Orgasm, and I obliged Her.
And I asked, rather than me going on Her errands, including W's house, maybe the PO, maybe a Coal's, that She take Stitch as I had a number of household chores to do, and She agreed.
I started with weekly reading from The Science of Mind...
And listened to Her get into a yelling match with Stitch, having to do with Stitch throwing stuff away, from the top of Her desk, which he had no right to be throwing away.... and as a result of that, he did not go with Her, and She set off alone.
I continued... by bringing Her dry laundry in, and folding it up and putting it away... and putting Her second load in to wash (but I used the wrong detergent...)
I did more measurements ...the bathroom and garage...for the charts I've been making...
And felt another earthquake roll through, 4.5 I heard later...
I started to doze in my easy chair, and Stitch woke me up to say he "just found out" that he needs to get to an ATM for cash for Her son that was coming over, who needed it for automotive repair.
Funny thing, She called me about this, two hours prior, so how is it he "just found out"?
No matter, now, I got up, and we went to my car, and drove down to where His bank and mine sit, 1/4 of a block apart. His bank has a stand alone branch up along the main street, and has another branch inside the supermarket, some 200 yards offset from the street.
I pulled up to my bank, and told him, "I'll do my thing here, and you walk on down there, and I'll pick you up there."
"Okay..."
Getting out, I watched him heading down the side of the building, heading for the supermarket.
I yelled at him, and pointed at the main branch.
He walked back, walked around the front of whatever building it was, and started heading for the supermarket, and I ran after him, saying, "Go to the main branch over there PLEASE."
He finally got it, and went to the main branch.
I went to my ATM, got in my car, and went down and picked him up when he was done, and headed home.
I fixed the number sign on the outside of our house that continues to fall down and off.
I updated my calendar... got online and updated my bank account, pay some bills, looked at my budget, sending my stress level to a new high....
And went out to the garage to start counting comics.
I hope to sell them someday (soon) and I've given up on an actual inventory, but I want to at least 'count them' so I know how many I have, when I get around to advertising them for sale.
She came home....and asked me to come inside for a fashion show.
I did, and She called for Stitch to join us, who took his sweet time doing so, like he does whenever She asks him to , and it's getting really fucking annoying to me...
And She showed us the bras She bought....and black ruffle panties ...and a couple of dresses....
Then I returned to the garage, to count more comics.
Totally bored by it, I went back into the house.
She asked me about the laundry.... it was on the 2nd rinse.
She is hyper sensitive to laundry detergent on Her clothes, and always is thorough when washing to make sure the soap is rinsed out.
She started on dinner...
I went through a stack of mail order catalogs.
My little dog Cookie was outside, and apparently, had not gotten the hang of the doggie doors that I had cut into the lower half of the screen door, so we spent some time in the kitchen, with Cookie on the outside, trying to get her to get the hang of it.
Then dinner....they had chicken and rice and broccoli, I had a cup of chicken soup, and raw carrots and celery with dip. I try to eat light, before going to a party....
And ..waited for Her laundry in the washer, now on its 3rd or 4th rinse.
And we napped in our easy chairs.
She finally put the clothes She wanted right away in the dryer, and we started getting ready, with showers, and getting dressed, and me packing the toy bag.
She was ready, and when I had the last thing packed, everything but ear plugs..... I said, "Show time!"
She yelled, "You hear that, Stitch, it's show time!"
From the bedroom, came the words, "Yeah...so?"
Oh, I was pissed. He knew damn well what it meant. "IT'S TIME TO GO!"
She added with a yell, "You going or not, we're leaving!"
He came stumbling out, and we went to my car.
And off we went to the party at the BoD, arriving...
I'm honestly not sure. 10:30? 11..ish?
We arrived, I spotted a parking place directly across the street from the main driveway entrance.... which would take some careful parallel parking to get into.....
Which resulted in, me tapping the rear end of the car in front of me, several times.
I paid... five bucks a person, quite the bargain...we entered....
and OMG the noise and confusion....
Well, not confusion, really...everybody seemed like they knew what they were doing...but so many of them...
And music that is NOT music to my 57-year-old ears.
We stood for a minute, looking over the frolicking in the main room, and She said, 'I'm going outside, people I need to talk to."
Now, She did not say, "Stay here." or "Come with me." or "Want to come with me?"
She just went, without waiting for a response, and I stood there.
Listening to the LOUD noise that passed for music...... getting jostled by people walking by me where I stood.... feeling alone.... like I did, when I attended these things alone...
And 'it' came on, fast and hard.... total panic...I had to get out.
I tried to get my car keys out of the toy bag, getting jostled three times while I did so.
I walked outside, thought about going to the car, decided to find a place to sit ...in the driveway, under some light so She could see me, and plopped down in folded-leg position, and started meditating.
She found me...said She had been looking for me for fifteen minutes.... even called me (I looked at my phone, buried in my pants pocket, one missed call, one vcml ... from Her).
She knew what was up with me, She understood about my panic attacks.
It had been a while since my last one....
I told Her, I just wanted to go sit in the car, and get my peace back.
She said, okay, She would send Stitch out to check on me, in awhile.
I went to the car...
After 30 or 40 minutes, Stitch came out...I said, "I'm okay, but I'm not ready to come in."
He nodded, and went back in.....
HsLO 110
HsLS 11
Her DO? Yes
HsLD 37 1/2
D UN 95
Thought for the Day:
"I believe that the divine intelligence which is the Mind of God is guiding and directing my thoughts and acts. I believe that God already knows the answer to this particular probelm; therefore I let go of it and listen to the answer."
From My Manifesto:
I may be required to perform fellatio, on inanimate objects or living flesh.
The She gathered up Momma Kukla and her two young 'uns into a carrier, and we went off to a vet, to have them checked out.
We returned an hour or so later...
And She wanted to get Her Daily Orgasm, and I obliged Her.
And I asked, rather than me going on Her errands, including W's house, maybe the PO, maybe a Coal's, that She take Stitch as I had a number of household chores to do, and She agreed.
I started with weekly reading from The Science of Mind...
And listened to Her get into a yelling match with Stitch, having to do with Stitch throwing stuff away, from the top of Her desk, which he had no right to be throwing away.... and as a result of that, he did not go with Her, and She set off alone.
I continued... by bringing Her dry laundry in, and folding it up and putting it away... and putting Her second load in to wash (but I used the wrong detergent...)
I did more measurements ...the bathroom and garage...for the charts I've been making...
And felt another earthquake roll through, 4.5 I heard later...
I started to doze in my easy chair, and Stitch woke me up to say he "just found out" that he needs to get to an ATM for cash for Her son that was coming over, who needed it for automotive repair.
Funny thing, She called me about this, two hours prior, so how is it he "just found out"?
No matter, now, I got up, and we went to my car, and drove down to where His bank and mine sit, 1/4 of a block apart. His bank has a stand alone branch up along the main street, and has another branch inside the supermarket, some 200 yards offset from the street.
I pulled up to my bank, and told him, "I'll do my thing here, and you walk on down there, and I'll pick you up there."
"Okay..."
Getting out, I watched him heading down the side of the building, heading for the supermarket.
I yelled at him, and pointed at the main branch.
He walked back, walked around the front of whatever building it was, and started heading for the supermarket, and I ran after him, saying, "Go to the main branch over there PLEASE."
He finally got it, and went to the main branch.
I went to my ATM, got in my car, and went down and picked him up when he was done, and headed home.
I fixed the number sign on the outside of our house that continues to fall down and off.
I updated my calendar... got online and updated my bank account, pay some bills, looked at my budget, sending my stress level to a new high....
And went out to the garage to start counting comics.
I hope to sell them someday (soon) and I've given up on an actual inventory, but I want to at least 'count them' so I know how many I have, when I get around to advertising them for sale.
She came home....and asked me to come inside for a fashion show.
I did, and She called for Stitch to join us, who took his sweet time doing so, like he does whenever She asks him to , and it's getting really fucking annoying to me...
And She showed us the bras She bought....and black ruffle panties ...and a couple of dresses....
Then I returned to the garage, to count more comics.
Totally bored by it, I went back into the house.
She asked me about the laundry.... it was on the 2nd rinse.
She is hyper sensitive to laundry detergent on Her clothes, and always is thorough when washing to make sure the soap is rinsed out.
She started on dinner...
I went through a stack of mail order catalogs.
My little dog Cookie was outside, and apparently, had not gotten the hang of the doggie doors that I had cut into the lower half of the screen door, so we spent some time in the kitchen, with Cookie on the outside, trying to get her to get the hang of it.
Then dinner....they had chicken and rice and broccoli, I had a cup of chicken soup, and raw carrots and celery with dip. I try to eat light, before going to a party....
And ..waited for Her laundry in the washer, now on its 3rd or 4th rinse.
And we napped in our easy chairs.
She finally put the clothes She wanted right away in the dryer, and we started getting ready, with showers, and getting dressed, and me packing the toy bag.
She was ready, and when I had the last thing packed, everything but ear plugs..... I said, "Show time!"
She yelled, "You hear that, Stitch, it's show time!"
From the bedroom, came the words, "Yeah...so?"
Oh, I was pissed. He knew damn well what it meant. "IT'S TIME TO GO!"
She added with a yell, "You going or not, we're leaving!"
He came stumbling out, and we went to my car.
And off we went to the party at the BoD, arriving...
I'm honestly not sure. 10:30? 11..ish?
We arrived, I spotted a parking place directly across the street from the main driveway entrance.... which would take some careful parallel parking to get into.....
Which resulted in, me tapping the rear end of the car in front of me, several times.
I paid... five bucks a person, quite the bargain...we entered....
and OMG the noise and confusion....
Well, not confusion, really...everybody seemed like they knew what they were doing...but so many of them...
And music that is NOT music to my 57-year-old ears.
We stood for a minute, looking over the frolicking in the main room, and She said, 'I'm going outside, people I need to talk to."
Now, She did not say, "Stay here." or "Come with me." or "Want to come with me?"
She just went, without waiting for a response, and I stood there.
Listening to the LOUD noise that passed for music...... getting jostled by people walking by me where I stood.... feeling alone.... like I did, when I attended these things alone...
And 'it' came on, fast and hard.... total panic...I had to get out.
I tried to get my car keys out of the toy bag, getting jostled three times while I did so.
I walked outside, thought about going to the car, decided to find a place to sit ...in the driveway, under some light so She could see me, and plopped down in folded-leg position, and started meditating.
She found me...said She had been looking for me for fifteen minutes.... even called me (I looked at my phone, buried in my pants pocket, one missed call, one vcml ... from Her).
She knew what was up with me, She understood about my panic attacks.
It had been a while since my last one....
I told Her, I just wanted to go sit in the car, and get my peace back.
She said, okay, She would send Stitch out to check on me, in awhile.
I went to the car...
After 30 or 40 minutes, Stitch came out...I said, "I'm okay, but I'm not ready to come in."
He nodded, and went back in.....
HsLO 110
HsLS 11
Her DO? Yes
HsLD 37 1/2
D UN 95
Thought for the Day:
"I believe that the divine intelligence which is the Mind of God is guiding and directing my thoughts and acts. I believe that God already knows the answer to this particular probelm; therefore I let go of it and listen to the answer."
From My Manifesto:
I may be required to perform fellatio, on inanimate objects or living flesh.
Diary 3.28
We watched "Episodes" and one TBBT...
and... had sex.
And went to sleep... 0230.
Up around 0900.
She brought me coffee...and I got up and fed my cats, as She already fed the dogs....
Then while She sat on the bed, I lay face down prone next to Her...provocatively...
And She picked up the bath brush, and applied forty of it to the seat of my briefs... then told me to count 'em, while She added another twenty from the Zombie Killer.
And ...we had sex.
After putting very wet bedcovers in the washing machine, we showered together, and dressed, and got in my car, and I drove.... to Tor, for Her waxing appointment, as I took notes, while She started thinking about an 'ad' that She wants to post online.
Then we went next door to the Japanese dollar-fifty store... then down to a Right-Ad for an ice cream cone for Her, then off to a Koal's looking for some shoes that we heard were on sale.
The shoes were there, but not in Her size... we left, and went to the supermarket for weekly shopping.
We arrived home, and She hurried inside, as Nature was not just calling, but screaming at Her.
I brought in the packages, and unpacked them.
She went to the other bedroom to take a nap.
I cut up an apple, went to my room, changed wallets, to one I just bought...
She came in, and we both napped, from 1800 to 1930.
I woke up, and started doing...
As in, online, checking on pix.
I woke Her up, asking about dinner, and She jumped up, and went to fixing.
I started watching "Archer" while writing my blogs.
She called dinner ready.
The three of us sat at the table for ...oh... ten minutes... eating chili and corn bread, then we went our separate ways, Stitch to his room to watch tv, Her to her computer, in Stitch's room, and me to my room.
I watched more 'Archer" ....
and felt an earthquake rumble through at 2115, about a 5.1, I heard later.
And more "Archer" and I was falling asleep, on a bed with no sheets.
I started watching "King of Queen" reruns, with eyes barely open.
She came in with all the bedcovers, and rather crabbily I readily admit, I helped Her getting them on the bed.
All done...and in bed, sleeping around midnight.
HsLO 86
HsLS 13
Her DO? Yes (twice!)
HsLD 13 1/2
D UN 94
Pictures from 3/27
Lyric for the Day:
You've done me no right
But you've done me some wrong
Left me lonely each night
While I sing my sad song
Quote for the Day:
"What are you thinking, maybe a big musical number?"
from My Manifesto:
I may be required to receive anal penetration, in varying shapes and forms, none of which is intended to inflict permanent harm or injury.
and... had sex.
And went to sleep... 0230.
Up around 0900.
She brought me coffee...and I got up and fed my cats, as She already fed the dogs....
Then while She sat on the bed, I lay face down prone next to Her...provocatively...
And She picked up the bath brush, and applied forty of it to the seat of my briefs... then told me to count 'em, while She added another twenty from the Zombie Killer.
And ...we had sex.
After putting very wet bedcovers in the washing machine, we showered together, and dressed, and got in my car, and I drove.... to Tor, for Her waxing appointment, as I took notes, while She started thinking about an 'ad' that She wants to post online.
Then we went next door to the Japanese dollar-fifty store... then down to a Right-Ad for an ice cream cone for Her, then off to a Koal's looking for some shoes that we heard were on sale.
The shoes were there, but not in Her size... we left, and went to the supermarket for weekly shopping.
We arrived home, and She hurried inside, as Nature was not just calling, but screaming at Her.
I brought in the packages, and unpacked them.
She went to the other bedroom to take a nap.
I cut up an apple, went to my room, changed wallets, to one I just bought...
She came in, and we both napped, from 1800 to 1930.
I woke up, and started doing...
As in, online, checking on pix.
I woke Her up, asking about dinner, and She jumped up, and went to fixing.
I started watching "Archer" while writing my blogs.
She called dinner ready.
The three of us sat at the table for ...oh... ten minutes... eating chili and corn bread, then we went our separate ways, Stitch to his room to watch tv, Her to her computer, in Stitch's room, and me to my room.
I watched more 'Archer" ....
and felt an earthquake rumble through at 2115, about a 5.1, I heard later.
And more "Archer" and I was falling asleep, on a bed with no sheets.
I started watching "King of Queen" reruns, with eyes barely open.
She came in with all the bedcovers, and rather crabbily I readily admit, I helped Her getting them on the bed.
All done...and in bed, sleeping around midnight.
HsLO 86
HsLS 13
Her DO? Yes (twice!)
HsLD 13 1/2
D UN 94
Pictures from 3/27
Lyric for the Day:
You've done me no right
But you've done me some wrong
Left me lonely each night
While I sing my sad song
Quote for the Day:
"What are you thinking, maybe a big musical number?"
from My Manifesto:
I may be required to receive anal penetration, in varying shapes and forms, none of which is intended to inflict permanent harm or injury.
Friday, March 28, 2014
3.27.Diary
Sometime after Stitch went to work, She joined me in bed...
and we got up, around 0900.
I feed the animals.... She started cleaning the bathroom, I started cleaning the living room and kitchen floors...and we did some other cleaning, prior to the Audit meeting happening at the house.
Then I showered, dressed, and got in my car, headed for my textbook-study class in Burb, arriving around 1135.
It ended at 1300, and I called Her, and She asked me to bring home cookies, so I bought 'em at the supermarket, and headed home.
The pool guy was ... cleaning the pool, when I arrived, and I went out to talk to him for awhile.
By the time I went inside, the meeting was over.
I began work on installing a doggy door in our new backdoor screen door, and we spent a few minutes seeing how the dogs reacted to it.
I called my doctor's office, and left a voicemail re my need for a refill on Chantix... and I started a load of whites laundry...
Then I went into the garage, to start my project of .... sorting out the library..ie getting ALL the books out of boxes, and onto shelves.
Which I actually finished, around 1915.
I went in, and She was asleep on Her bed.
I began another project, which is.... measuring the rooms in the house ....
then I went into my room, and spent ...forever..trying to get my laptop online, just so I could pay some bills, and finally gave up in disgust, and used Her mini-notebook.
I started watching "Comic Book Men" as She came in and out and watched some of it, too.
I had dinner, sandwiches...from meat and cheese left over from the earlier meeting....
I rewrote Spiritual Mind Treatments that were on various and odd sized pieces of paper in my notebook...
And I started watching "Episodes....."
HsLO 62
HsLS 36
HsLD 35
D UN 93
Lyric for the Day:
How do you think I'm going to get along
Without you, when you're gone?
You took me for everything that I had,
And kicked me out on my own.
Are you happy? Are you satisfied?
How long can you stand the heat?
Out of the doorway the bullets rip,
To the sound of the beat....
Quote of the Day:
Him: "You need to find something to suppress your libido."
Her: "I can always think about you...."
Him: "Fine, whatever works."
from My Manifesto:
I have the right to engage in sexual intercourse with Her.
She has the right to engage in sexual intercourse with me.
I am expected to offer, and provide to Her, sexual service leading to orgasm, on a daily basis.
and we got up, around 0900.
I feed the animals.... She started cleaning the bathroom, I started cleaning the living room and kitchen floors...and we did some other cleaning, prior to the Audit meeting happening at the house.
Then I showered, dressed, and got in my car, headed for my textbook-study class in Burb, arriving around 1135.
It ended at 1300, and I called Her, and She asked me to bring home cookies, so I bought 'em at the supermarket, and headed home.
The pool guy was ... cleaning the pool, when I arrived, and I went out to talk to him for awhile.
By the time I went inside, the meeting was over.
I began work on installing a doggy door in our new backdoor screen door, and we spent a few minutes seeing how the dogs reacted to it.
I called my doctor's office, and left a voicemail re my need for a refill on Chantix... and I started a load of whites laundry...
Then I went into the garage, to start my project of .... sorting out the library..ie getting ALL the books out of boxes, and onto shelves.
Which I actually finished, around 1915.
I went in, and She was asleep on Her bed.
I began another project, which is.... measuring the rooms in the house ....
then I went into my room, and spent ...forever..trying to get my laptop online, just so I could pay some bills, and finally gave up in disgust, and used Her mini-notebook.
I started watching "Comic Book Men" as She came in and out and watched some of it, too.
I had dinner, sandwiches...from meat and cheese left over from the earlier meeting....
I rewrote Spiritual Mind Treatments that were on various and odd sized pieces of paper in my notebook...
And I started watching "Episodes....."
HsLO 62
HsLS 36
HsLD 35
D UN 93
Lyric for the Day:
How do you think I'm going to get along
Without you, when you're gone?
You took me for everything that I had,
And kicked me out on my own.
Are you happy? Are you satisfied?
How long can you stand the heat?
Out of the doorway the bullets rip,
To the sound of the beat....
Quote of the Day:
Him: "You need to find something to suppress your libido."
Her: "I can always think about you...."
Him: "Fine, whatever works."
from My Manifesto:
I have the right to engage in sexual intercourse with Her.
She has the right to engage in sexual intercourse with me.
I am expected to offer, and provide to Her, sexual service leading to orgasm, on a daily basis.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
3.26 Diary
Off work, in car 0926.
Thought I'd take a co worker's suggestion and take Bev, east to the 101.
I left the office, sb on High...and ... no-left-turn was posted on Bev...as it was on 3rd, and 6th...
wound up turning on Wish. Which I knew would not go to the 101... so I turned south on Smith, thought I'd get on the 10, changed my mind, kept going, turned on Adam, and started looking for way to get on 110.
Caught up in traffic around the campus.... finally figured it out........ home 1030 or so.
She met me, told me to go ahead and eat..which I did..shower which I did... then get FDAU on the bed... which I did.
She started with a few taps of the bath brush on my buttocks, which lulled me into thinking this was going to be an easy one...
Then She picked up the short delrin cane, and told me to count....
50 strokes on my left butt cheek, then 50 on my right.
Then She told me to turn over, my bottom close to the edge of the bed...and legs straight up..
And She applied another 85 strokes to my lower curves and sit spot and upper thighs.
She asked how I was feeling.
I had just eaten, a few minutes ago, and in THAT position.... "Nauseated..."
She stopped, and told me to stretch out and relax on the bed.
I did.
After a few minutes, She joined me.
And we had sex.
And I fell asleep, around noon.
Up around 1600...
We got dressed, and got in Her car.
...went to the post office, then the drug store next door, then a Petmart, then a 99.99c store...and home.
I went into my bedroom, and began a project of notebook-revamping, while watching "Justified"... then "Comic Book Men" during which She came in and out.... and I made dinner...sausage on rice...
This is a "4th Wednesday" which mean, She was sleeping with Stitch.
I went to sleep... 0045.
HSLO 38
HSLS 12
HSLD 11
D UN 92
Lyrics for the Day
Thought I'd take a co worker's suggestion and take Bev, east to the 101.
I left the office, sb on High...and ... no-left-turn was posted on Bev...as it was on 3rd, and 6th...
wound up turning on Wish. Which I knew would not go to the 101... so I turned south on Smith, thought I'd get on the 10, changed my mind, kept going, turned on Adam, and started looking for way to get on 110.
Caught up in traffic around the campus.... finally figured it out........ home 1030 or so.
She met me, told me to go ahead and eat..which I did..shower which I did... then get FDAU on the bed... which I did.
She started with a few taps of the bath brush on my buttocks, which lulled me into thinking this was going to be an easy one...
Then She picked up the short delrin cane, and told me to count....
50 strokes on my left butt cheek, then 50 on my right.
Then She told me to turn over, my bottom close to the edge of the bed...and legs straight up..
And She applied another 85 strokes to my lower curves and sit spot and upper thighs.
She asked how I was feeling.
I had just eaten, a few minutes ago, and in THAT position.... "Nauseated..."
She stopped, and told me to stretch out and relax on the bed.
I did.
After a few minutes, She joined me.
And we had sex.
And I fell asleep, around noon.
Up around 1600...
We got dressed, and got in Her car.
...went to the post office, then the drug store next door, then a Petmart, then a 99.99c store...and home.
I went into my bedroom, and began a project of notebook-revamping, while watching "Justified"... then "Comic Book Men" during which She came in and out.... and I made dinner...sausage on rice...
This is a "4th Wednesday" which mean, She was sleeping with Stitch.
I went to sleep... 0045.
HSLO 38
HSLS 12
HSLD 11
D UN 92
Lyrics for the Day
I turn my face to the sun
Close my eyes
Let my defenses down
All those wounds
that I can't get unwound....
For real, overheard in a library:
"I'm looking for a book ... I know the title, but not the author..... it's called Dante's Inferno....?"
from My Manifest:
I shall be naked, when I enter Her bedroom, and ask Her permission before joining Her in bed.
03.25 Diary
Off work..in car 0645... home 0734.
Fed the zoo... was in my room, choosing implements, and undressing for a shower, when She walked in, wondering what was taking me so long.
She told me to go to Her room, and stand in the corner (naked) while She started a pot of coffee.
After a very few minutes, She came in.... and observed that I had not showered yet, so She sent me off to take a shower, first.
I did take a quick one, and returned to Her bedroom, and She said, "FDAU."
I got on the bed, feet just dangling off the edge, legs spread, butt pushed up, face down on the mattress.
Using the heavy wood spoon, She smacked my left buttock twenty times, then my right buttock.
She switched to the bath brush, and smacked my left buttock twenty times, then my right buttock, and after an inspection, added an additional ten to my right buttock.
She stopped, and fetched band-aids for a couple of minor bleeding spots, and told me to get up.
I got up, just to get under the covers, while She went out to the kitchen to get Her coffee, and a snack to go with Her morning meds.
She returned to the bedroom, and started in on an interesting Q&A session, with Her asking the questions, having to do with our D/s relationship, how it has or has not changed, evolved, or been affected by us getting married... then finally getting down to the crux of the conversation....
That She CAN become quite crabby and grouchy and testy, when She has gone too many days without ... orgasm....and ...
Did I think it proper or appropriate that She should have to ...masturbate...to get daily orgasms?
.. Well, no...
She did not want to ORDER me to provide for Her, in that respect, daily... but....
And so I volunteered, that I would offer Her such service, daily.
Which ..we began to do.\
With a little oral warm up, She was moaning, "Please...", Her signal to me, to get my briefs off, if I was still wearing any, and get up and mount Her...
Which I did...
And rode Her, for quite a few minutes.... until.... I felt it myself... and erupted within Her.
Fortunately, we had the good sense to put a towel underneath Her bottom, before we started, so there wasn't going to be a need to strip the sheets.
I did slip down, between Her legs, to lick up and clean up.
Then slipped back up and next to Her for a moment of post-sex cuddling.
Then She said, "Go..." as She understood, I really 'needed' to go and eat some kinda dinner, and get to bed.
While I was eating, She was on the phone, and found out, She had to RUN down to W's house to intercept a package that he was expecting...while out of town.
So... I went to sleep in my bed, rather than Hers.
Up around 1445 for milk and pop tart, back to sleep.
Alarm off, 1700, up 1715.
Out of my room, heading for the shower....
And Stitch was IN the shower.
I mean, WTF!
He should know, I need to get ready for work at this time...
I spent the time waiting, to make iced coffee, and otherwise get ready...
Then He came out, and I went in.
She came home, while I was in my room dressing, telling me She was ready to take me to work, and I told Her again, it was not necessary, I am FINE.
I finally won out.
Dressed, pack, ready, in my car 1800.
At work 19:04....
Not a bad night at all.
Still have a 'trainee' here, doing set up, so I spent most of the night, assisting her on next day's set up, but, well, sometimes, work has to come first, while at work.....
HsLO 14
HsLS 14
HsLD 15
D UN 91
Days under punishment 31 and done!
Lyric of the Day
Quote for the Day
If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it.
If you don't ask, the answer is always No.
If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place
from My Manifesto:
Nudity will be required of me, during sessions of beatings, discipline, and/or punishment, or at any time She demands it.
Fed the zoo... was in my room, choosing implements, and undressing for a shower, when She walked in, wondering what was taking me so long.
She told me to go to Her room, and stand in the corner (naked) while She started a pot of coffee.
After a very few minutes, She came in.... and observed that I had not showered yet, so She sent me off to take a shower, first.
I did take a quick one, and returned to Her bedroom, and She said, "FDAU."
I got on the bed, feet just dangling off the edge, legs spread, butt pushed up, face down on the mattress.
Using the heavy wood spoon, She smacked my left buttock twenty times, then my right buttock.
She switched to the bath brush, and smacked my left buttock twenty times, then my right buttock, and after an inspection, added an additional ten to my right buttock.
She stopped, and fetched band-aids for a couple of minor bleeding spots, and told me to get up.
I got up, just to get under the covers, while She went out to the kitchen to get Her coffee, and a snack to go with Her morning meds.
She returned to the bedroom, and started in on an interesting Q&A session, with Her asking the questions, having to do with our D/s relationship, how it has or has not changed, evolved, or been affected by us getting married... then finally getting down to the crux of the conversation....
That She CAN become quite crabby and grouchy and testy, when She has gone too many days without ... orgasm....and ...
Did I think it proper or appropriate that She should have to ...masturbate...to get daily orgasms?
.. Well, no...
She did not want to ORDER me to provide for Her, in that respect, daily... but....
And so I volunteered, that I would offer Her such service, daily.
Which ..we began to do.\
With a little oral warm up, She was moaning, "Please...", Her signal to me, to get my briefs off, if I was still wearing any, and get up and mount Her...
Which I did...
And rode Her, for quite a few minutes.... until.... I felt it myself... and erupted within Her.
Fortunately, we had the good sense to put a towel underneath Her bottom, before we started, so there wasn't going to be a need to strip the sheets.
I did slip down, between Her legs, to lick up and clean up.
Then slipped back up and next to Her for a moment of post-sex cuddling.
Then She said, "Go..." as She understood, I really 'needed' to go and eat some kinda dinner, and get to bed.
While I was eating, She was on the phone, and found out, She had to RUN down to W's house to intercept a package that he was expecting...while out of town.
So... I went to sleep in my bed, rather than Hers.
Up around 1445 for milk and pop tart, back to sleep.
Alarm off, 1700, up 1715.
Out of my room, heading for the shower....
And Stitch was IN the shower.
I mean, WTF!
He should know, I need to get ready for work at this time...
I spent the time waiting, to make iced coffee, and otherwise get ready...
Then He came out, and I went in.
She came home, while I was in my room dressing, telling me She was ready to take me to work, and I told Her again, it was not necessary, I am FINE.
I finally won out.
Dressed, pack, ready, in my car 1800.
At work 19:04....
Not a bad night at all.
Still have a 'trainee' here, doing set up, so I spent most of the night, assisting her on next day's set up, but, well, sometimes, work has to come first, while at work.....
HsLO 14
HsLS 14
HsLD 15
D UN 91
Days under punishment 31 and done!
Lyric of the Day
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now
'Cause there's too many places
I've got to see
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now
'Cause there's too many places
I've got to see
But, if I stayed here with you, girl
Things just couldn't be the same
Things just couldn't be the same
Quote for the Day
If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it.
If you don't ask, the answer is always No.
If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place
from My Manifesto:
Nudity will be required of me, during sessions of beatings, discipline, and/or punishment, or at any time She demands it.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
My blogs
Just an update, in case anybody is not aware of ALL my blogs on blogger...
"Dominant Wife / submissive husband"
"In Shilo's Dreams"
"Shilo's Fantasies"
"Desires of a Submissive Male"
"Mommy spanks me"
:"Bruised Bottom Guy"
"almost perfect F/m spankings"
"Dominant Wife / submissive husband"
"In Shilo's Dreams"
"Shilo's Fantasies"
"Desires of a Submissive Male"
"Mommy spanks me"
:"Bruised Bottom Guy"
"almost perfect F/m spankings"
03.24 Diary
Off work and out, 0645
And home 0726.
Fed the zoo, and showered, and She came into the bathroom as I was getting out, and asked me to heat up coffee ... and from there, I started on my own dinner.....
After eating, She headed for Her bed to plop down, and I asked, if it would be okay if I slept in my own bed (because it's bigger and my room is darker), and She said, "...Whatever..."
AND I went off to my bedroom.
..And was awakened a few minutes later, when She came in, because Her son had just called, asking for money to get his car out of impound, and she wanted my advice on it.
I gave Her some input, and She accepted it, and asked for the checks that I was overdue to write to Her, which I did, and She went on Her way,and I went ..to sleep.
Up 1415 for cookies and milk, back to sleep 1445.
Alarm off, 1715, snooze til 1720 then She called me, to make sure I was awake, while She was in bed, half sleeping....
I got up... showered, dressed.....
She had a discussion with Stitch re just why he had taken it upon himself to put in the garbage can, a bunch of the plastic storage containers that I had brought with me from my apartment...
She came in as I dressed, and talked to me about our differences (that is between Her/Stitch, and Her/me) in the way we argue (or ...fight).
THEY argue ... at the top of their lungs, often using words that I do not use in front of my mother.
We argue... well, we don't really argue. Usually, if I disagree, I shut up and smolder in silence.
I got ready to leave, making iced coffee, packing up.....
And She said, "Bring implements in the morning...."
Oh goodie.
In my car about 1830.... checked this app Waze....
Which told me to take the 91 east...to the 605 north... to the 5 north....
I was having none of that, and took the 710 all the way, as usual...
...in ten ..to maybe twenty mile an hour traffic all the way to the 10.
I didn't get to the 10 until like 1915.
However, the 10 west at that point moves like the Indianapolis Motor Speedway....
Until the merge into the 101....
Which, amazingly, moved quite well.
I was astonished...but it was a Monday night....
Made it to work, 1940.
No communication with Her in the course of the night, other than a text around midnight, saying She was going to bed.
HsLO 492 1/2
HsLS 46
HsLD 47
D UN 90
Days under punishment 31
Lyric for the day:
Where did you come from, angel
How did you know I'd be the one
Did you know you're everything I prayed for?
Did you know every night and day for
Everyday, you'd give love satisfaction
Now you're lying next to me, giving it to me
I believe in miracles
Quote for the day:
"It's a mess, ain't it?"
"If it ain't, it'll do 'til the mess gets here."
from My Manifesto
She may hurt me without reason, just to please Herself.
And home 0726.
Fed the zoo, and showered, and She came into the bathroom as I was getting out, and asked me to heat up coffee ... and from there, I started on my own dinner.....
After eating, She headed for Her bed to plop down, and I asked, if it would be okay if I slept in my own bed (because it's bigger and my room is darker), and She said, "...Whatever..."
AND I went off to my bedroom.
..And was awakened a few minutes later, when She came in, because Her son had just called, asking for money to get his car out of impound, and she wanted my advice on it.
I gave Her some input, and She accepted it, and asked for the checks that I was overdue to write to Her, which I did, and She went on Her way,and I went ..to sleep.
Up 1415 for cookies and milk, back to sleep 1445.
Alarm off, 1715, snooze til 1720 then She called me, to make sure I was awake, while She was in bed, half sleeping....
I got up... showered, dressed.....
She had a discussion with Stitch re just why he had taken it upon himself to put in the garbage can, a bunch of the plastic storage containers that I had brought with me from my apartment...
She came in as I dressed, and talked to me about our differences (that is between Her/Stitch, and Her/me) in the way we argue (or ...fight).
THEY argue ... at the top of their lungs, often using words that I do not use in front of my mother.
We argue... well, we don't really argue. Usually, if I disagree, I shut up and smolder in silence.
I got ready to leave, making iced coffee, packing up.....
And She said, "Bring implements in the morning...."
Oh goodie.
In my car about 1830.... checked this app Waze....
Which told me to take the 91 east...to the 605 north... to the 5 north....
I was having none of that, and took the 710 all the way, as usual...
...in ten ..to maybe twenty mile an hour traffic all the way to the 10.
I didn't get to the 10 until like 1915.
However, the 10 west at that point moves like the Indianapolis Motor Speedway....
Until the merge into the 101....
Which, amazingly, moved quite well.
I was astonished...but it was a Monday night....
Made it to work, 1940.
No communication with Her in the course of the night, other than a text around midnight, saying She was going to bed.
HsLO 492 1/2
HsLS 46
HsLD 47
D UN 90
Days under punishment 31
Lyric for the day:
Where did you come from, angel
How did you know I'd be the one
Did you know you're everything I prayed for?
Did you know every night and day for
Everyday, you'd give love satisfaction
Now you're lying next to me, giving it to me
I believe in miracles
Quote for the day:
"It's a mess, ain't it?"
"If it ain't, it'll do 'til the mess gets here."
from My Manifesto
She may hurt me without reason, just to please Herself.
Monday, March 24, 2014
03.23 Diary
...after midnight, and it became the one-year anniversary of our very first meeting.
To celebrate, we went into the living room, set up the video camera, and recorded a video of 'a nasty little boy' who gets naked, and goes over Mom's lap for an extensive dose of hairbrush then paddle applied to his bare bottom.
View the video here: http://mommyspanksme.blogspot.com/2014/03/323-nasty-boy-vers-2.html
And a few after pix:
Then we adjourned to the bedroom, and talked a bit...
And had sex.
In the course of the day, I kinda forgot that according to FL, this was "Poke a Sadist Day", but much later, She told me, 'mission accomplished'.
To sleep, around 0200.
1000 or so up, and breakfast (orange rolls) along with newspaper reading, and chatting with our young female boarder, who just walked in from a night who-knows-where.
And back to the bedroom, where I uploaded the video from camera to my laptop, then converted it to wmv, then uploaded it to my blog....
Then started to take a nap, and realized, oh hell, I got to get up and ready for work...
While She napped.
So, I showered, dressed, and etc, kissed Her good-bye, and departed at 1353.
Arrived at work 14:53.
Sundays are kind of interesting, now that I'm doing next day's set up.
Beyond that, not much to say about it, other than .... mostly drama free.
HsLO 468 1/2
HsLS 22
HsLD 23
D UN 89
Days under punishment 30
Lyric for the day:
How did you know, I needed you
How did you know I needed you so badly
How did you know I'd give my heart gladly
Yesterday I was one of the lonely people
Now your lying close to me, making love to me
I believe in miracles
Quote for the day:
"I'm going to die in my late 50s with a heart full of pastrami."
from My Manifesto
I shall demonstrate my acceptance of my role of service and availability at all times.
To celebrate, we went into the living room, set up the video camera, and recorded a video of 'a nasty little boy' who gets naked, and goes over Mom's lap for an extensive dose of hairbrush then paddle applied to his bare bottom.
View the video here: http://mommyspanksme.blogspot.com/2014/03/323-nasty-boy-vers-2.html
And a few after pix:
Then we adjourned to the bedroom, and talked a bit...
And had sex.
In the course of the day, I kinda forgot that according to FL, this was "Poke a Sadist Day", but much later, She told me, 'mission accomplished'.
To sleep, around 0200.
1000 or so up, and breakfast (orange rolls) along with newspaper reading, and chatting with our young female boarder, who just walked in from a night who-knows-where.
And back to the bedroom, where I uploaded the video from camera to my laptop, then converted it to wmv, then uploaded it to my blog....
Then started to take a nap, and realized, oh hell, I got to get up and ready for work...
While She napped.
So, I showered, dressed, and etc, kissed Her good-bye, and departed at 1353.
Arrived at work 14:53.
Sundays are kind of interesting, now that I'm doing next day's set up.
Beyond that, not much to say about it, other than .... mostly drama free.
HsLO 468 1/2
HsLS 22
HsLD 23
D UN 89
Days under punishment 30
Lyric for the day:
How did you know, I needed you
How did you know I needed you so badly
How did you know I'd give my heart gladly
Yesterday I was one of the lonely people
Now your lying close to me, making love to me
I believe in miracles
Quote for the day:
"I'm going to die in my late 50s with a heart full of pastrami."
from My Manifesto
I shall demonstrate my acceptance of my role of service and availability at all times.
3.22 Diary
It took me forever to get my laptop to boot...and wound up using Her notebook, as I had a bill that was due TODAY that I had to pay, and wanted to check on some others...
Then I had a couple newspapers I wanted to read, but my cats were being hyperactive around me while I was on the bed, so I moved out to the living room, and settled in an easy chair, with a package of cookies, to read.
Then to bed, 0230.
Awakened by Her, 1030.
She wanted to talk to me, as She had the impression I was upset about something...
I told Her I needed a 'quiet' or 'me' or 'self' day....
She said, "Okay, I'll give you to ...say... 8 o'clock tomorrow morning...?"
"Okay..."
She left, and I went back to sleep.
I got up again, and She was leaving with Stitch to go tend to W's house....
I snacked and took my pills....and refilled my pill box for the week...
Then went back to my bedroom and napped from 12 to 1...
and got up...
And sorted pens...
And hammered nails into the ramp that I have going up to the step in my room...
Tried to install a doggy door in to the screen door, but the frame of the doggy door is to big for the screen door...
And organized my bill box...
Got my laundry in wash, and Her laundry in dry....
Got in the hot tub for half an hour....
Got out, took Her laundry to Her room, put mine in the dryer...put Her other load in the wash...
And back in my room around 15:30.
Watched episode of Justified from 1/21, while writing my blog for Wednesday.
They came home..
And little-s came in, and told me about their adventures for the day...
She left, and I continued, watched a Justified from 1/28 while writing my blog for Thursday...
Started a Justified from 2/4 and my blog from Friday, when She called, asking if She could come in.
I said, "Sure..."
And She did...and we talked.
And She apologized, and I talked about my resentment...
And we went to the kitchen, and I showed Her the problem with the doggy door, and the solution which I will attempt, soon enough....and She made for me, apple bread..toast, with butter and cinnamon-sugar... ;and we returned to my room..and talked some more, and I called my parents, just a weekly hello...and as She was leaving, I gave Her the card on which I wrote my other concerns and stresses....
And I finished Friday's blog, and started Saturday's (which is, today's).
And I continued watching eps of Justified, while catching up on other Internet jobs...
And scanning a TV guide....
And then the clock showed, just past midnight...
HsLO 444 1/2
HsLS 197 1/2
HsLD 63
D un 88
Days under public Punishment 29 (aren't we done? )
Lyric for the day:
Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds, and mars
Any heart, not tough
Or strong enough
Then I had a couple newspapers I wanted to read, but my cats were being hyperactive around me while I was on the bed, so I moved out to the living room, and settled in an easy chair, with a package of cookies, to read.
Then to bed, 0230.
Awakened by Her, 1030.
She wanted to talk to me, as She had the impression I was upset about something...
I told Her I needed a 'quiet' or 'me' or 'self' day....
She said, "Okay, I'll give you to ...say... 8 o'clock tomorrow morning...?"
"Okay..."
She left, and I went back to sleep.
I got up again, and She was leaving with Stitch to go tend to W's house....
I snacked and took my pills....and refilled my pill box for the week...
Then went back to my bedroom and napped from 12 to 1...
and got up...
And sorted pens...
And hammered nails into the ramp that I have going up to the step in my room...
Tried to install a doggy door in to the screen door, but the frame of the doggy door is to big for the screen door...
And organized my bill box...
Got my laundry in wash, and Her laundry in dry....
Got in the hot tub for half an hour....
Got out, took Her laundry to Her room, put mine in the dryer...put Her other load in the wash...
And back in my room around 15:30.
Watched episode of Justified from 1/21, while writing my blog for Wednesday.
They came home..
And little-s came in, and told me about their adventures for the day...
She left, and I continued, watched a Justified from 1/28 while writing my blog for Thursday...
Started a Justified from 2/4 and my blog from Friday, when She called, asking if She could come in.
I said, "Sure..."
And She did...and we talked.
And She apologized, and I talked about my resentment...
And we went to the kitchen, and I showed Her the problem with the doggy door, and the solution which I will attempt, soon enough....and She made for me, apple bread..toast, with butter and cinnamon-sugar... ;and we returned to my room..and talked some more, and I called my parents, just a weekly hello...and as She was leaving, I gave Her the card on which I wrote my other concerns and stresses....
And I finished Friday's blog, and started Saturday's (which is, today's).
And I continued watching eps of Justified, while catching up on other Internet jobs...
And scanning a TV guide....
And then the clock showed, just past midnight...
HsLO 444 1/2
HsLS 197 1/2
HsLD 63
D un 88
Days under public Punishment 29 (aren't we done? )
Lyric for the day:
Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds, and mars
Any heart, not tough
Or strong enough
To take a lot of pain
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts
Love hurts
Quote: as really overheard in a library:
"Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?"
From "My Manifesto"
I will obey Her, in all respects.
Love hurts
Quote: as really overheard in a library:
"Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?"
From "My Manifesto"
I will obey Her, in all respects.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Saturday, March 22, 2014
3.21 Diary
Some days I pray for Silence,
Some days I pray for Soul,
She came into bed around 0100, after waiting til the usual last minute to start writing a report She needed for Her group, the coming night.
I was up 0230 for pee and snack...
and kindawake 0930 for coffee, snack, pills...
Then back to sleep from 10 to 12, when the installer for the back door screen door arrived.
I was up for good, and recorded mail and bills... until he left.
Then we dressed and were in my car 1330, headed to the bank to deal with some snafu.
It took about an hour, but it got done...
Then we did grocery shopping, as She decided what She was going to cook and serve tonight.
We went home, and unpacked groceries, and I showered, and suggested She get to cookin', and as I dressed, She was starting to cook.
I got in my car, and went to pick up Mb, and bring her back to the house.
Back at the house, She asked me to take Stitch to the Temple so he could begin setting up for dinner.
Which I did, and returned, and they were ready to go. I packed up the car, and we went back to the Temple.
I unpacked the car....and dinner was served....
And after dinner, She went into Her meeting, and I found a well-lighted place to update my notebook...and I took a nap from 2050 to 2130...and woke up for 'dessert'.
Then I went with Her to take an inventory, to see what supplies She would need for an upcoming dinner, and She took me to see the Inner Sanctum, so I could see what is entailed in setting it up, and back in the main room, She pulled out Her book,and showed me an official diagram.
She changed clothes, from Her formal dress to Her regulars...and I hung up Her formal wear on the hangars...then I packed up the car....
And She bitched at me for not bringing Her, the coat from the car....
And we left.
I dropped Stitch at the house, and we continued on.
I dropped Mb at home, and helped her upstairs with her stuff...and then went home.
I brought all the stuff in from the car.
I unpacked, and made room in the fridge...
And emptied the dishwasher...
And scrubbed the pans that She had baked the meatloaf...
While She was making Her own dessert...yogurt and strawberries.
Without a word of acknowledgment for the work I did, She walked away, leaving Her empty yogurt containers on the counter.
Feeling a whole lot of resentment, I took my pills and adjourned to my bedroom....
Little-s came in, and I said, "I don't feel well, so I'm just saying, if you'd prefer to sleep with Stitch tonight, it's okay with me."
"No, I want to be here, in case Tsu comes in..."
She came in and lay down....
HsLO 420 1/2
HsLS 173 1/2
HsLD 39
D UN 87
Times with That DIrty Slut None, zero, zip
Days under public punishment 28
Lyric for the day:
Some days I just pray to the God of Sex and Drums and Rock 'N' Roll.
Some nights I lose the feeling,
Some nights I lose control,
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls.
Maybe I'm lonely, And that's all I'm qualified to be,
There's just one and only, The one and only promise I can keep.
Some days I pray for Soul,
She came into bed around 0100, after waiting til the usual last minute to start writing a report She needed for Her group, the coming night.
I was up 0230 for pee and snack...
and kindawake 0930 for coffee, snack, pills...
Then back to sleep from 10 to 12, when the installer for the back door screen door arrived.
I was up for good, and recorded mail and bills... until he left.
Then we dressed and were in my car 1330, headed to the bank to deal with some snafu.
It took about an hour, but it got done...
Then we did grocery shopping, as She decided what She was going to cook and serve tonight.
We went home, and unpacked groceries, and I showered, and suggested She get to cookin', and as I dressed, She was starting to cook.
I got in my car, and went to pick up Mb, and bring her back to the house.
Back at the house, She asked me to take Stitch to the Temple so he could begin setting up for dinner.
Which I did, and returned, and they were ready to go. I packed up the car, and we went back to the Temple.
I unpacked the car....and dinner was served....
And after dinner, She went into Her meeting, and I found a well-lighted place to update my notebook...and I took a nap from 2050 to 2130...and woke up for 'dessert'.
Then I went with Her to take an inventory, to see what supplies She would need for an upcoming dinner, and She took me to see the Inner Sanctum, so I could see what is entailed in setting it up, and back in the main room, She pulled out Her book,and showed me an official diagram.
She changed clothes, from Her formal dress to Her regulars...and I hung up Her formal wear on the hangars...then I packed up the car....
And She bitched at me for not bringing Her, the coat from the car....
And we left.
I dropped Stitch at the house, and we continued on.
I dropped Mb at home, and helped her upstairs with her stuff...and then went home.
I brought all the stuff in from the car.
I unpacked, and made room in the fridge...
And emptied the dishwasher...
And scrubbed the pans that She had baked the meatloaf...
While She was making Her own dessert...yogurt and strawberries.
Without a word of acknowledgment for the work I did, She walked away, leaving Her empty yogurt containers on the counter.
Feeling a whole lot of resentment, I took my pills and adjourned to my bedroom....
Little-s came in, and I said, "I don't feel well, so I'm just saying, if you'd prefer to sleep with Stitch tonight, it's okay with me."
"No, I want to be here, in case Tsu comes in..."
She came in and lay down....
HsLO 420 1/2
HsLS 173 1/2
HsLD 39
D UN 87
Times with That DIrty Slut None, zero, zip
Days under public punishment 28
Lyric for the day:
Some days I just pray to the God of Sex and Drums and Rock 'N' Roll.
Some nights I lose the feeling,
Some nights I lose control,
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls.
Maybe I'm lonely, And that's all I'm qualified to be,
There's just one and only, The one and only promise I can keep.
As long as the wheels are turning,
As long as the fires are burning,
As long as your prayers are coming true - You better believe it - !
That I would do anything for love!
As long as the fires are burning,
As long as your prayers are coming true - You better believe it - !
That I would do anything for love!
3.20 Diary
00:30 up to pee and snack...
04:45 up to pee and snack...
0745 kinda awake
0815 alarm off
0845 awake...
I was stretched out on the bed, prone, face down, wearing white boxer briefs, and She mumbling, "Oh that's tooooo inviting" and pulled out of the toy bag the bamboo cane, and said, "Be still.." and She whacked my bottom 25 times with it.... then She dropped the cane and picked up the zombie killer, and applied thirty with it...
Then She pulled down the briefs to take a look. "Ah, no blood...."
Then I got up for snack and pills and more cleaning....
Then showered and dressed ...
And in my car 1039, heading for text-study class....arriving in time to get a trenti iced-coffee, and get inside as it started.
Out of class at 13:00, I went back to my car, sat in it, had my one cigarette of the day, and called Her, to see if anything was needed.... just milk and cookies.
I went inside the supermarket, did some shopping, and headed home.
I arrived, went in, said hello to Her and Mb, and went into my bedroom to begin my next project.
We had earlier in the morning picked up all the little carpet and rugs spread over the concrete floor, and taken them out to wash them....now I was ready to begin, sweeping and mopping the entire floor.
And I emptied the porta-toilet and washed and dried all the mats,
and read from the text book for awhile...
Then figuring the floors were dry from the wet-mopping, I put my room back together....
Then She and I were in my car, 1750, and we headed to HB for a Munch.
We arrived around 1835.
...had Mexican dinner, while listening to a Female Dom talk about communications....
and left around 2115.
We went, a couple miles away, to the house Her son lived in, with Half-sister, and I sat in the car dozing, while She went inside.
She returned to the car, and we headed home.
Home and after some puttering around...
Asleep, 2300.
HsLO 396 1/2
HsLS 149 1/2
HsLD 15
D un 86
Times with That Dirty Slut 1
Days under public punishment 27
Lyric of the day:
Gazing at people, some hand in hand,
Just what I'm going through they can't understand.
Some try to tell me, thoughts they cannot defend,
Just what you want to be, you will be in the end.
04:45 up to pee and snack...
0745 kinda awake
0815 alarm off
0845 awake...
I was stretched out on the bed, prone, face down, wearing white boxer briefs, and She mumbling, "Oh that's tooooo inviting" and pulled out of the toy bag the bamboo cane, and said, "Be still.." and She whacked my bottom 25 times with it.... then She dropped the cane and picked up the zombie killer, and applied thirty with it...
Then She pulled down the briefs to take a look. "Ah, no blood...."
Then I got up for snack and pills and more cleaning....
Then showered and dressed ...
And in my car 1039, heading for text-study class....arriving in time to get a trenti iced-coffee, and get inside as it started.
Out of class at 13:00, I went back to my car, sat in it, had my one cigarette of the day, and called Her, to see if anything was needed.... just milk and cookies.
I went inside the supermarket, did some shopping, and headed home.
I arrived, went in, said hello to Her and Mb, and went into my bedroom to begin my next project.
We had earlier in the morning picked up all the little carpet and rugs spread over the concrete floor, and taken them out to wash them....now I was ready to begin, sweeping and mopping the entire floor.
And I emptied the porta-toilet and washed and dried all the mats,
and read from the text book for awhile...
Then figuring the floors were dry from the wet-mopping, I put my room back together....
Then She and I were in my car, 1750, and we headed to HB for a Munch.
We arrived around 1835.
...had Mexican dinner, while listening to a Female Dom talk about communications....
and left around 2115.
We went, a couple miles away, to the house Her son lived in, with Half-sister, and I sat in the car dozing, while She went inside.
She returned to the car, and we headed home.
Home and after some puttering around...
Asleep, 2300.
HsLO 396 1/2
HsLS 149 1/2
HsLD 15
D un 86
Times with That Dirty Slut 1
Days under public punishment 27
Lyric of the day:
Gazing at people, some hand in hand,
Just what I'm going through they can't understand.
Some try to tell me, thoughts they cannot defend,
Just what you want to be, you will be in the end.
And I love you, yes I love you,
Oh how I love you, oh how I love you.
Oh how I love you, oh how I love you.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
03.18 Diary
Took off work at 0610, because I was coming back in so early...
Used a new mapping App on my phone called Waze...
It predicted I would be home at 0640.
I was home at 0642.
I feed the four-legged denizens of the house, and undressed, and changed to underwear and socks and robe, and went into Her room and woke Her up around 07:20, to tell Her, I wasn't going to shower, I was asked to be back at work at like 1800, and I planned to eat, and come to bed, and She mumbled, okay, and that She would try to go back to sleep.
At 0800, I went in to Her room, and She was awake, reading 'stuff' on Her phone.
I sat on the bed, and She said, "I need to talk to you."
I prepared to listen..and She said, "You woke me up ...when you came in...to tell me that you were't coming in to bed, until later. So, no reason for me to wake up, nothing to get up for, and I couldn't get back to sleep. You could have just waited until now, when you came in, and I could have stayed asleep."
"Yes, you're right, I'm sorry."
"Go get my bamboo cane."
............................................. !
I went and got it, and brought it back to Her, and She got out of bed, while saying, "Get undressed."
I did.
"Bend over the bed."
I did.
And I counted silently, as twenty five strokes of the cane landed across my buttocks.
"How many was that?'
"Twenty five."
"How many minutes early did you wake me?"
"Forty."
"Hmmm... count these out loud."
I counted out loud, another thirty strokes.
"Okay, I'm done."
I stood up, and hugged Her. "I'm sorry, I won't wake you up early, again."
"Good."
File the above under "Be careful what you wish for". I'm pretty sure... She ready my blog entry from yesterday. I'm pretty sure... She took this opportunity to accommodate my desire for punishment-type spankings, in this way, and that She wasn't 'really' punishing me "just" for waking Her up early. But, I'm not gonna ask Her. I'd prefer to go on thinking what I want to think, in regard to Her motivation.
Bed, around 0830.
Awake and up to pee, 1130, and again at 1330.
More awake at 1540, and didn't seem like any point in trying to go back to sleep for 20 minutes....so we talked a bit....
Then I got up, and showered, and dressed, etc....
And was in my car 1706.
The app 'Waze' predicted I would be at work at 1804.
And OMG the route it took me to get to work.... and it continued to micro adjust my eta, as I crawled along...and I arrived about 1830.
And ...it's been a wretched...busy...night.
Doing a multi car event for the cast of "Glee", celebrating the broadcast of their 100th episode...
Trying to get other work covered....
Helping the new person, with the set up for the next day which is much busier than today....
She and I did not have the final nails in the framework for next day's set up until 0145 or so.
And it got better...............
HsLO 348 1/2
HsLS 101 1/2
HsLD 15 1/2
D UN 84
Days under punishment 25
Daily lyric:
I want you, I need you, I got to be near you
I spent my money as I took my turn
I want you, I need you, I got to be near you
Ooh, I got a strange kind of woman
Daily quote:
Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just... *do* things.
Used a new mapping App on my phone called Waze...
It predicted I would be home at 0640.
I was home at 0642.
I feed the four-legged denizens of the house, and undressed, and changed to underwear and socks and robe, and went into Her room and woke Her up around 07:20, to tell Her, I wasn't going to shower, I was asked to be back at work at like 1800, and I planned to eat, and come to bed, and She mumbled, okay, and that She would try to go back to sleep.
At 0800, I went in to Her room, and She was awake, reading 'stuff' on Her phone.
I sat on the bed, and She said, "I need to talk to you."
I prepared to listen..and She said, "You woke me up ...when you came in...to tell me that you were't coming in to bed, until later. So, no reason for me to wake up, nothing to get up for, and I couldn't get back to sleep. You could have just waited until now, when you came in, and I could have stayed asleep."
"Yes, you're right, I'm sorry."
"Go get my bamboo cane."
............................................. !
I went and got it, and brought it back to Her, and She got out of bed, while saying, "Get undressed."
I did.
"Bend over the bed."
I did.
And I counted silently, as twenty five strokes of the cane landed across my buttocks.
"How many was that?'
"Twenty five."
"How many minutes early did you wake me?"
"Forty."
"Hmmm... count these out loud."
I counted out loud, another thirty strokes.
"Okay, I'm done."
I stood up, and hugged Her. "I'm sorry, I won't wake you up early, again."
"Good."
File the above under "Be careful what you wish for". I'm pretty sure... She ready my blog entry from yesterday. I'm pretty sure... She took this opportunity to accommodate my desire for punishment-type spankings, in this way, and that She wasn't 'really' punishing me "just" for waking Her up early. But, I'm not gonna ask Her. I'd prefer to go on thinking what I want to think, in regard to Her motivation.
Bed, around 0830.
Awake and up to pee, 1130, and again at 1330.
More awake at 1540, and didn't seem like any point in trying to go back to sleep for 20 minutes....so we talked a bit....
Then I got up, and showered, and dressed, etc....
And was in my car 1706.
The app 'Waze' predicted I would be at work at 1804.
And OMG the route it took me to get to work.... and it continued to micro adjust my eta, as I crawled along...and I arrived about 1830.
And ...it's been a wretched...busy...night.
Doing a multi car event for the cast of "Glee", celebrating the broadcast of their 100th episode...
Trying to get other work covered....
Helping the new person, with the set up for the next day which is much busier than today....
She and I did not have the final nails in the framework for next day's set up until 0145 or so.
And it got better...............
HsLO 348 1/2
HsLS 101 1/2
HsLD 15 1/2
D UN 84
Days under punishment 25
Daily lyric:
I want you, I need you, I got to be near you
I spent my money as I took my turn
I want you, I need you, I got to be near you
Ooh, I got a strange kind of woman
Daily quote:
Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just... *do* things.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
03.17 diary
Off work 0630.
She arrived to pick me up about 0640, and we went home.
She told me about 'doing it' with Stitch, last night...AND earlier in the week, maybe Wednesday morning....and that She had not told me about it prior to this because She felt guilty.
Very strange (that She felt guilty.... She's been preaching about being polyamorous for years, right?)
Anyway, I was yawning so hard, I thought I'd pop a muscle.
We arrived home...and I feed the zoo, and undressed, and made some dinner..
and was in Her bed, asleep by 0830.
I woke up once, 1330 or so, with the sweet-tooth thing, and She was awake, and talking a mile a minute.
I wonder what She was talking about....
Back to sleep,
and up with my alarm, 1715.
Toilet, and shower, and dressed, and made coffee (iced..it's getting warm here!)...
And took pictures of ... "24 hours later"
In my car, and rolling 1815.
At work 1915.
Manager here, still training Other Person for next day set-up...
Otherwise, a nothing-special, even exceptionally slow, night.
My normal start time on Tuesday night is 19:00.
But we have an 'event' going on, Tuesday night. (91 rides right now, from 1400 on through the night).
So, Manager asked me to come in earlier, Tuesday night, and perhaps leave earlier Wednesday morning.
Well, if I can get enough sleep....
HsLO 324 1/2
HsLS 77 1/2
HsLD 31
D UN 83
Days under punishment/public 24
Lyric of the day
"Feel it coming
It's knocking at the door
You know it's no good running
No it's not against the law
The point of no return
Now how you know the score
And now you're learning
What's knockin' at your back door"
Quote of the day:
Coffee's out of the question. When I moved to California, I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.
She arrived to pick me up about 0640, and we went home.
She told me about 'doing it' with Stitch, last night...AND earlier in the week, maybe Wednesday morning....and that She had not told me about it prior to this because She felt guilty.
Very strange (that She felt guilty.... She's been preaching about being polyamorous for years, right?)
Anyway, I was yawning so hard, I thought I'd pop a muscle.
We arrived home...and I feed the zoo, and undressed, and made some dinner..
and was in Her bed, asleep by 0830.
I woke up once, 1330 or so, with the sweet-tooth thing, and She was awake, and talking a mile a minute.
I wonder what She was talking about....
Back to sleep,
and up with my alarm, 1715.
Toilet, and shower, and dressed, and made coffee (iced..it's getting warm here!)...
And took pictures of ... "24 hours later"
In my car, and rolling 1815.
At work 1915.
Manager here, still training Other Person for next day set-up...
Otherwise, a nothing-special, even exceptionally slow, night.
My normal start time on Tuesday night is 19:00.
But we have an 'event' going on, Tuesday night. (91 rides right now, from 1400 on through the night).
So, Manager asked me to come in earlier, Tuesday night, and perhaps leave earlier Wednesday morning.
Well, if I can get enough sleep....
HsLO 324 1/2
HsLS 77 1/2
HsLD 31
D UN 83
Days under punishment/public 24
Lyric of the day
"Feel it coming
It's knocking at the door
You know it's no good running
No it's not against the law
The point of no return
Now how you know the score
And now you're learning
What's knockin' at your back door"
Quote of the day:
Coffee's out of the question. When I moved to California, I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.
03.18 Reflections...
Just some things I've been thinkin' about, that don't fit into my regular diary/journal:
I'm sitting here with bruises on my sit spot and the front of my thighs
from a party on Sunday.... so the above pictures were selfies, 24 hours later.
They don't hurt...I'm not complainin'.
Just thinkin' about the conversation we had, oh, last Wednesday, wherein She stated, "We need to get back to basics, daily spankings, even twice a day.... you seemed happier when we did that...."
Well, we skipped Wednesday AND Thursday; had a 200-paddle-smack session on Friday, skipped Saturday, had a 200+ paddle-smack session at a party on Sunday, skipped Monday....
There were reasons for the skipped days....even though a session never has to be a LONG one...could be five or ten minutes....
But, what I'm really thinking is.... if we do get back into daily or twice-a-days, what is my butt going to look like?
I can only hope, if that's the right word, that every session is not as intense as recent ones have been.
Most/all recent sessions have been either with me on the spanking bench, or FDAU on Her bed.
Yet, I still long for the intimacy...the submission...of going over Her lap, as She sits in a chair.
For me, nothing matches this.
There's just something about being naked...and over Her lap.... butt up, and head down... so totally submissive, so classic...
I've also been thinking about... spontaneity versus planned.
Most of my Funishments are planned, to some extent, or at least to the extent, I know it's coming.
Right now, I can think of two instances where it wasn't planned, it was spontaneous, and it wasn't meant as 'funishment'.
One time,we were preparing for an out-of-town trip, and I was bad-mouthing Stitch in some way.... we were in my bedroom and She told me to drop my pants and bend over the bed.
And She got out Her cane and gave me, I don't remember how many, whacks... 6 or 8.
She told me to pull up my pants, and we resumed packing.
The other time... we were again packing for a trip, and She told me to get a blanket...and I did... then She came along with a different one.... and I started grumbling, a lot, about ...what's the point of asking me anyway, if She's going to make some other choice....
And She told me to get in the bedroom, drop my pants and bend over Her bed.
Then She fetched a paddle...
And gave my bottom...again, I don't remember... six or eight whacks .
And told me to pull my pants up, and we resuming packing.
I remember, being pissed off about it, each time.
It's taken me awhile to get my head around the idea that :
This is what WE DO. This is what I 'signed up for'.
Not just 'funishments' but also Discipline, whenever She deems it fitting.
And, as I look back at those times, I kinda think...
Those were BETTER than many Funishments.
Those were spontaneous. I did not see 'em coming.
They were given for real reason, not just "cuz She says so".
They were disciplinary.
(I really enjoy the funishments, but there is always a sexual aspect to it... the inkling that it is foreplay, that it is turning us on.... maybe leading to some bed-bouncing.
(But... when it's discipline, there is no sexual aspect to it, and I have a craving for discipline without sexual overtones, as seen in my "Mommy spanks" blog. )
However, they were short, really short, in duration.
Oh well.
I'm sitting here with bruises on my sit spot and the front of my thighs
from a party on Sunday.... so the above pictures were selfies, 24 hours later.
They don't hurt...I'm not complainin'.
Just thinkin' about the conversation we had, oh, last Wednesday, wherein She stated, "We need to get back to basics, daily spankings, even twice a day.... you seemed happier when we did that...."
Well, we skipped Wednesday AND Thursday; had a 200-paddle-smack session on Friday, skipped Saturday, had a 200+ paddle-smack session at a party on Sunday, skipped Monday....
There were reasons for the skipped days....even though a session never has to be a LONG one...could be five or ten minutes....
But, what I'm really thinking is.... if we do get back into daily or twice-a-days, what is my butt going to look like?
I can only hope, if that's the right word, that every session is not as intense as recent ones have been.
Most/all recent sessions have been either with me on the spanking bench, or FDAU on Her bed.
Yet, I still long for the intimacy...the submission...of going over Her lap, as She sits in a chair.
For me, nothing matches this.
There's just something about being naked...and over Her lap.... butt up, and head down... so totally submissive, so classic...
I've also been thinking about... spontaneity versus planned.
Most of my Funishments are planned, to some extent, or at least to the extent, I know it's coming.
Right now, I can think of two instances where it wasn't planned, it was spontaneous, and it wasn't meant as 'funishment'.
One time,we were preparing for an out-of-town trip, and I was bad-mouthing Stitch in some way.... we were in my bedroom and She told me to drop my pants and bend over the bed.
She told me to pull up my pants, and we resumed packing.
The other time... we were again packing for a trip, and She told me to get a blanket...and I did... then She came along with a different one.... and I started grumbling, a lot, about ...what's the point of asking me anyway, if She's going to make some other choice....
And She told me to get in the bedroom, drop my pants and bend over Her bed.
Then She fetched a paddle...
And gave my bottom...again, I don't remember... six or eight whacks .
And told me to pull my pants up, and we resuming packing.
I remember, being pissed off about it, each time.
It's taken me awhile to get my head around the idea that :
This is what WE DO. This is what I 'signed up for'.
Not just 'funishments' but also Discipline, whenever She deems it fitting.
And, as I look back at those times, I kinda think...
Those were BETTER than many Funishments.
Those were spontaneous. I did not see 'em coming.
They were given for real reason, not just "cuz She says so".
They were disciplinary.
(I really enjoy the funishments, but there is always a sexual aspect to it... the inkling that it is foreplay, that it is turning us on.... maybe leading to some bed-bouncing.
(But... when it's discipline, there is no sexual aspect to it, and I have a craving for discipline without sexual overtones, as seen in my "Mommy spanks" blog. )
However, they were short, really short, in duration.
Oh well.
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