04.12 Diary

03:00 up to pee, and have a snack...
04:15  alarm.
04:30 up and feet on the floor...showered, dressed,  toilet...and out to car.
At work  05:53.
Out, from work  1046, and in my car.
Home, 11:41.
All I wanted to do was close my eyes for a few minutes before we had to leave...
But wasn't meant to be, every time I sat down, She had something else for me to do or get...

She showered, dressed, and we were in Her car, 1210 or so,  heading for a 1230 meeting at a restaurant, and we arrived 12:40.

This was ... like a two-way interview,  with Merry talking to this guy as a potential sub/slave, and this guy talking to Merry as a potential Domme/Mistress.

I was tired.
Not the kind of bone-weary tired one would get from digging ditches for eight hours, but tired from sleep-deprivation.
I was in a state of .... well, for a few minutes, I will feel my eyes uncontrollably closing, and then a few minutes of being awake, if not totally alert.
And, I can tell you this....if I'm ever in a war zone, and I'm captured by the enemy...and they want to extract information from me, all they have to do is ...keep me from sleeping for awhile.
When I get tired, really tired, my brain is no longer connected to my mouth.
Most, nearly all, of the time.... if you ask me a question, or ask my opinion...I am going to think before I respond.
Not for questions where there is one answer  that is factually based.
Ask me the derivative of x squared with respect to x, and I'll tell you, immediately.
Ask me what I want for dinner tonight, and I'm going to think about it for awhile.
Sometimes, I think so long about an answer, that somebody who does not know me well will repeat the question, thinking that I did not hear them.
But, when I'm tired....  my mouth opens, and words come out, without me having given them any thought.

And so....
Merry and this guy talked for awhile, nearly 90 minutes, while I pitched in a few words now and then (...errrgghh..) and  then we went our separate ways.

Merry and I were barely in the parking lot, and She said,
"I need to talk."
Uh oh.
When She says, "We need to talk," it could be about anything,  just something or other we need to talk about.
When She says, "I need to talk,"  it means, I fucked up, and She's going to tell me about it.
"FOUR times in there, you contradicted what I said.  You are NOT supposed to argue with me in public!"
She then went on to specify two of the times, which I readily admitted to. I'm still not sure what the other times were...  but no matter, I did do it.  I contradicted Her,  basically argued with Her.  A big no-no.
I said, "I did do that, and I'm sorry. I apologize.  When I am this tired, and I think you know how tired I am, my mouth is not connected to my brain, and quite often, my mouth opens, and stuff comes out of it to which I've given no thought.  I am sorry..."
She grumbled, "Well, okay..."  and we went on our way.
..To W's house, where She had to do some final cleaning and prepping, prior to his scheduled return from his vacation, which we thought would be on the 14th.
She started with watering the plants, and I sat down on the couch in the living room...and started to nod off.
She started working on the bathroom, then came into the living room..."Are you going to help me or not?"
Yes, me helping Her was the plan, with that plan being made before I wound up working the two early shifts... but I did manage to get up, and find the broom, and began sweeping the floors.
Then I asked, and She showed me where the Swifter was and I began... whatever the heck it's called, "swifting" the floors...and had done the other rooms, was doing the living room, when W and his roommate came pulling down the driveway, in a Uhaul truck.
Merry went out to meet them, and I continued until I was done in the living
room. And I gave the counters a second wipe down....
Her box...the one She always keeps in the car... of handy wipes..was in the kitchen, and the lid was in the sink, and I was just about to put the lid on the box, when She came in, yelling, "No no no, I have to wash that first..."
Taken completely by surprise, I let go of it,  and went outside,  across the driveway, and sat down against the wall of the other house, to sulk a bit.
She came out...and said, "Let's go."
We got in Her car, and headed off to do our grocery shopping.
We decided to go to the Von's nearby here, rather than the one closer to home, just to see the difference in availability and selection.
All was going well...
When we got to the ice cream aisle,  She found boxes of "Big Sticks",  and in Her excitement,  little-s emerged, and brought them to the cart, and said, 'Look what I got!'
Well, I had seen something I wanted to show Merry... but not little-s, and I told her, "That's great, honey, but I need Merry, right now..."
She said, "O...okay..."  and turned her head away from me, and closed her eyes, and in a couple seconds, Merry opened Her eyes.
And I pointed at some boxes in the ice cream case, and said, "So that's what I should use, right?"
She looked at the boxes.... marked "Magnum Mini" ...and kind of chuckled.
We finished getting what we needed...   and I snagged a venti ice coffee from the Starbx kiosk...and headed for check out.
Done, we went to the car and I loaded it all into the trunk.
In the car, I said, "I would sorta like to stop at Home D, for a few minutes, on the way home..."
She said, 'I would prefer to go home first, and unload the perishables, then go, if you want..."
"Home it is," I said.
We arrived home....I unloaded the trunk...got everything inside, and got everything away.
She started defrosting-prepping chicken for tonight's dinner, and said, "I have key in hand if you want to go to Home D."
"No, not now that I'm home..."
I sat down in my easy chair, thinking about a nap...which would not happen.
I was tired, so tired, but when I closed my eyes, they just popped open again.
I called my parents, just my weekly everything-is-great-here call.
I gather my whites and took them out to the washing machine....
And turned on the hot tub...
And sat down for my weekly reading of The Science of Mind....
Then, She announced, dinner is ready.

After dinner, I stripped, and went out to the hot tub, and after a few minutes, She joined me.

One..of many...topic of conversation was ....  the monthly HSM&PG party, scheduled for the next day.
By way of explanation, I am currently, by personal choice, on a hiatus from public play,  which is to say, I do not wish to be spanked ..in public...such as at parties...   for awhile.
By 'awhile', I told Her, some time previously, I mean,  probably until ..at least...She comes back from the Supreme meetings, in May.
My reasoning for this ....  at the last party we attended, I had a powerful panic attack,  brought on by the crowd, the noise, being left alone, and my own performance anxiety.   When She spanks me at parties, She does not hold much of anything back,  and I need to be ready to 'take it',  and sometimes I just worry whether or not I'll be able to.
And so, I want time to get over that, to get past that...  such that, for the next party I do attend, I won't have any lingering thoughts of THAT panic attack.
She respects my opinion and feelings on that....  and had made plans for a session of Her own, on the receiving end.
In the tub, I told Her, that it would not bother me at all to NOT go to this party.
And.... She agreed.   No problem, no hard feelings, no big deal.

We got out of the tub, and went off to the shower.

Afterwards, I went to El,  turned on my t.v., set the DVR to record Nurse Jackie, that starts a new season the next day, and set it to record Unforgettable, for which two episodes had already been broadcast....
And I found those two episodes On Demand, and I started watching the first one, as She came in to join me.  That ended...I started channel surfing, and found Pacific Rim... about halfway into it.
I started watching in...with Her next to me...and She was fidgeting,  first next to me, then rolling over, then rolling over again....  and cats were jumping on me... and I was just irritable,  and at 1:15 I just turned the t.v. off, and went to sleep.

HsLS  81
HsL0  110
HsLB  25
DAY Un 109
DsLC  18 2/3

from The Ten Commandments:
 I devote myself to serving Her, whether in the bedroom or outside of it. 

from My Manifesto:
 I will not 'post' or 'send' any pictures of Her face ...without Her express permission and approval.